Chapter 76: Chapter Seventy Five: Team Wing Equip Loadout

The griffins, unaware of the honour they had just received by having the Chosen One actually agree to pay attention to them, snorted.

 

“The little human thinks it can order us to tell it things?” the largest griffin, who seemed to be the spokesperson, said disdainfully. 

 

“Yup,” the Chosen One replied.

 

“Oh great and magnificent beasts, forgive my Noble Patron,” Sewer Bard swept the flock a truly beautiful bow. “His mind is preoccupied with the many cares of saving the world. If this humble Bard may claim but a mote of your attention, I would be most humbled.”

 

The griffins preened. One in the back lifted a leg, and started grooming it with its beak, its toes spread wide. They really were beautiful creatures, so dignified, their feathers shining in the sunlight, and their fur looked sleek and soft.

 

“We are glad to see that at least one of the little things remembers its place,” the leader said.

 

Sewer Bard, still bowing, did not respond.

 

With a swish of its snake-like tail, the leader stood up. It towered over the group, nearly the size of a horse. Qube felt a frisson of fear as her new angle allowed her to appreciate just how very sharp looking the undercurve of a griffon beak was. And, as it took a step forward, just how massive their claws were.

 

“Calamity has struck our abode,” it said, addressing both the Chosen One and Sewer Bard. “A most unnatural beast has been disturbing both us and our food source, and has awoken the mountains.”

 

The other griffins made distressed noises at the mention of the “unnatural beast.”

 

“It threatens our natural order. The very system on which all rests. Slay it, and the mountains shall resume their slumber until the appointed time.”

 

Sewer Bard looked at the Chosen One, who was slowly opening and closing his wings. He was watching the metal, dagger-like feathers reflect the sunlight. Sewer Bard sighed, and turned back to the griffins.

 

“The appointed time? Forgive this pitiful wretch, but I know not of what you speak,” he said, still keeping his eyes averted from the monsters.

 

Qube rather thought he was overdoing it in his diplomat role, but she still reached over and patted him on the shoulder for moral support.

 

“You’re doing great!” she whispered to him.

 

He ignored her.

 

The Chosen One, however, stopped playing with his wings and gave her a puzzled look.

 

“Yes, when the world ends, the mountains will awaken and fly off to the sky to become stars,” the griffin said, as if it was the most obvious thing ever.

 

All of the party looked up at the sky, as if checking to see the stars were still there. Naturally, since it was daytime, they only saw the two suns crawling across the sky. The Chosen One instantly looked away from the burning orbs, but Qube found herself transfixed by the sight of them. She’d never been so close to them before. It felt as if she could just reach out with her hand and pluck the suns from the sky.

 

A strange fancy. Qube dragged herself back into the moment, away from that unexplored domain.

 

“Do this, and we shall reward the human,” the griffin was saying. “Fail, and we shall eat the human.”

 

Qube frowned. These griffins really needed to work on their negotiation skills. And basic manners.

 

“Cool, find the monster, kill it, quest done,” the Chosen One flicked his wings out again.

 

“How will we be able to tell what the unnatural beast is?” Qube asked the Hero. The Hero stared at her.

 

“It’ll be obvious?” he half-asked, half-answered. “It hasn’t exactly been subtle up until this point.”

 

“Our fair Healer is correct, Noble Patron,” Sewer Bard said, his voice smooth as butter as he contradicted the Hero. He looked once more in the general direction of the griffins, careful not to make eye contact. “Oh most pristine of beauties, by what markings shall we know this beast?”

 

“You will see that it is an abomination,” the griffin snapped. The other griffins rustled their feathers, and lashed their tails. “A pitiful wretch, that has not the decency to accept its miserable existence and die. It thinks it can aspire to be one of us? We would laugh, were it not so disgusting.”

 

“Woof, that is some vitriol,” the Chosen One said casually.

 

“You shall find it haunting our food bowl, and disturbing our feast. The bird village, where they grow our food, is on the other side of the range. Destroy this wretch, and we shall be free to once again feast and fly as we please, without interference from that pest. We would take care of it ourselves, but it is too far below our dignity. It should be perfect for an ugly little thing such as this one, though.”

 

“Sure,” the Chosen One said scornfully. “We wouldn’t want to offend the dignity of a cat-bird by making them work.”

 

“We are glad it sees reason,” the griffin said, seemingly oblivious to the Chosen One’s tone. Qube, however, caught it, and threw her friend a concerned look. There had been an edge there that she wasn’t used to hearing. He pulled a face at the griffin which, possibly due to the differences between human and griffin body language, didn’t seem to pick up on it.

 

The Chosen One shook himself, and with it seemed to cast off whatever thoughts had briefly preoccupied him.

 

“Right, time to equip some wings and fly!” he said cheerfully. He reached into his backpack and pulled out several miniature pairs of wings, then tossed them at his companions.

 

Qube totally failed to catch her pair of wings, which hit her in the face and fell to the ground. Squiggles caught hers, and instantly put them in her mouth.

 

“Squiggles, no!” Qube cried, rushing to the team pet. “Spit it out!” 

 

Squiggles kept her mouth firmly closed and started chewing furiously.

 

“Squiggles! You spit those royal wings out right now this second!” Qube scolded. The sharktopus kept chewing. Terrible screeching noises of teeth against metal came from inside her. Qube started trying to pry Squiggles’ mouth open, to no avail. “Squiggles!” she grunted.

 

Squiggles shot off and hid behind Sewer Bard, who now had a beautiful pair of wings springing from his back.

 

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“Young lady, if you don’t give me back those royal wings right now I’ll… I’ll…” Qube cast a look of appeal at the Chosen One, who shrugged at her.

 

“She’s your pet,” he said. Qube glared at him before turning back to Squiggles, who had started climbing Sewer Bard and was sniffing at his wings. She was still vigorously chewing, the awful cacophony within her mouth continuing as her jaw worked.

 

“I’ll take away your pretty green ribbon!” Qube declared.

 

Squiggles stopped chewing. She turned and looked at Qube, an expression of utter betrayal on her blunt face. Her little black eyes swam with unshed tears.

 

“Don’t you give me that look, missy!” Qube snapped, her heart quivering at Squiggles’s hurt. “You only got that ribbon because you promised to be a Good Squiggles! Is eating the royal wings Good?”

 

Squiggles clung to Sewer Bard, who reached up and gingerly scratched under her chin.

 

“Sewer Bard, please don’t undermine me like this,” Qube hissed.

 

“Our fair Healer is right, Lady Squiggles,” Sewer Bard said gently. “We have need of these royal wings to save the world. Will you not return them, for me? I think you would look most beautiful wearing them.” Squiggles, now up on his shoulder, bonked the side of his face. He smiled at her, and gave her another round of scratching under the chin.

 

Jumping off Sewer Bard and landing with a splat in front of Qube, Squiggles looked up at her. She spat out the royal wings. Squiggles looked at the saliva-covered daggers mournfully, before coyly glancing up at Qube. Qube beamed at her and dropped to one knee, opening her arms.

 

“Good girl, Squiggles!” she declared, and Squiggles, tentacles dancing, flew into Qube’s arms, bowling her over. “Good girl,” Qube cooed, flat on her back as Squiggles wrapped her many arms around her. “Such a good girl.”

 

“That was either the weirdest, or the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen,” the Chosen One announced, breaking the moment. He looked down at his childhood friend, who was rapidly being cocooned in a mass of Squiggles’s tentacles. “Probably both,” he concluded.

 

“Come on,” he said, reaching down and pulling Qube to her feet, Squiggles still attached. “Let’s see if you can fly.”

 

Qube could not fly.

 

Qube could not even get the wings to attach to her.

 

She would hold up the royal wings, and press them against her, but nothing would happen. She even tried getting Sexy Screamy Spider Lady to rub them against her back, but still nothing.

 

Squiggles was having similar issues. Now that she was no longer chewing on the magical artefacts they could try and fix them to her, but they refused to expand.

 

Meanwhile, Sewer Bard and Definitely Bad Guy had absolutely no problem getting the wings to act normally. As soon as the Chosen One handed the wings over, both were able to concentrate and get the wings to appear on their backs. Sexy Screamy Spider Lady was also able to utilise the wings, although hers appeared to be springing from somewhere in the middle of her back, and would frequently phase through several of her childrens’ faces.

 

It didn’t make any sense. The Bard was just as much of a mana user as her, and Sexy Screamy Spider Lady, while not a traditional wood elf, was still an elf. So it couldn’t be her race or mana making her incompatible. If it was just Squiggles, that would be more understandable, and if it was just her then she would assume it was somehow curse related. But as it was, singling both her and Squiggles out...

 

Qube looked at Squiggles. Squiggles, looking the very picture of innocence, slowly slorped towards some discarded wings on the ground. Qube narrowed her eyes. Squiggles stopped.

 

Qube, thinking deeply, opened her backpack and reached inside, pulling out a harpoon gun. Perhaps she could use it as some kind of anchor, to help her zip from place to place? But out here was just open sky and clouds, nothing for it to hook into. With a sigh, she slowly put it back.

 

“Later,” she whispered to the backpack. She looked up and saw the Chosen One watching her. He looked between the bag and her.

 

“Can… can your backpack talk to you?” he asked seriously. Qube stared at him.

 

“Chosen One, don’t be silly. Backpacks can’t talk,” she replied.

 

“With this place, anything is possible,” he retorted.

 

Qube couldn’t argue with that, so instead she closed the backpack, slung it over her shoulder, and held out her arms. After a moment of confused silence, the Chosen One stepped forward and gave her a tentative hug. She batted him away.

 

“Chosen One no! Carry me! I can’t ride your back without interfering with your wings,” she explained.

 

“Oh, yeah, that makes more sense,” he said sheepishly. “Not that I think you would actually interfere with the wings…” he trailed off, a light coming on in his eyes. “Actually, climb on my back, I want to see what happens.”

 

Qube frowned. 

 

“What if it causes a repeat of the bridge incident?” she asked dubiously.

 

“The others can stand by and be ready to catch you,” he said. “Oh, also, hold on.” He wandered over to a discreet Save Point and waved his hand through it. “Okay, ready,” he said, turning his back to Qube.

 

Looking directly at his back, Qube noticed that the wings, for all their appearance of being solid, seemed able to travel through his backpack without disturbing it. Perhaps they were not, as they appeared, actually physically present, but rather some kind of mana projection. Gingerly stepping up, she wrapped her arms around the Chosen One’s neck, and loosely clasped her hands.

 

“Ready?” the Chosen One asked. She tightened her grip.

 

“Ready,” she replied.

 

He kicked off the ground, his wings harmlessly buzzing through Qube, causing her hair to blow back in the breeze they made. She laughed as he soared, the mana-enhanced wings causing them to skyrocket up and then almost hover on a thermal.

 

She was doing it! She was flying!

 

Looking past the Chosen One’s shoulder, she could see the expanse of angry clouds boiling, obscuring the rest of the world. But once they defeated whatever this awful abomination was, then the clouds would clear and she would be able to see all across the entire kingdom!

 

It would be like a whole new world, she thought happily, as she rode her flying friend through the sky.

 

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