Chapter 1: Re:Awakening

May 25th, 2036.

New Eden, the country I was born, is located on a large island close to the center of the Atlantic Ocean. New Eden started off as a small city-state, but in the current year, it's become the technological, economic, and cultural center of the world. New Eden has used it's unique power to create an era of relative peace for it's citizens that has lasted decades.

As a child who was born into this era of "peace", it's always been hard for me to simply ignore the human greed and hypocrisy that created the status-quo.

Beginning at the start of the 1970's, our world's climate started to change—becoming more erratic, and having more radical shifts in temperature and weather patterns.

This alone would have been a problem humanity could have banded together to face. Sadly, at the start of this oncoming crisis, the superpowers of the world began to worry more about their ability to secure enough natural resources to feed their exponential growth; instead of focusing on saving humanity.

The instability caused by this ultimately led to the Third World War. The war lasted for only a few years before it ended with everyone involved exhausted and defeated—with the exception of New Eden.

Even though the war lasted only a few years, it was that single event that pushed the Earth's environmental stability past the point of no return.

People were so full of greed, so willing to destroy their fellow man, they continued to push the world to the brink of destruction. All just so they could eat their fill on the ashes that remained.

The fallout from that war shaped the way the world is now. It caused the Earth's climate to change even faster; crops began failing all around the globe, and food supplies began evaporating faster than they could be replenished.

Countless people died in the fighting, even more died from it's fallout. The world was thrust into a new age where starvation became a very real possibility for many.

As always though, the darkest parts of humanity shows itself in times like that.

Countries that were strong enough, or honestly just got lucky enough to survive the fallout used their newfound power to feast on the weak. In the end, those countries came out on top, and their leadership would use their power to do whatever they had to in order to hold onto their newly secured positions.

While entire countries crumbled, and societies collapsed; the biggest winners were of course those who instigated the conflict to begin with.

Countries that came out of the war with their stability intact almost immediately began a rush to annex their weaker neighbors, or they created unequal "alliances" with them, effectively creating puppet states united under one banner.

This led to the current form of our world, many countries tying themselves together in geopolitical blocs through alliances, or through full annexation.

Their sole goal being to consolidate as much power as they could into the fewest individuals possible.

Although New Eden never technically annexed any additional land, the place I call home is far from an innocent bystander.

It was a country that had already been growing during the last century, and the Earth's climate shift barely harmed it. New Eden became such a powerful nation today because it's leadership saw the chaos as an opportunity to expand. They knew there wouldn't be any other chance like this again in their lifetime, and they acted on it.

When the Third World War came to an end, New Eden stepped up to help stabilize the world's markets and ensure that human society didn't collapse altogether.

They also began to export foodstuffs at heavily discounted prices, which helped reduce some of the suffering brought on by the war. These actions, along with the fact that New Eden was a relatively small, wealthy nation, gave them a great deal of influence over many of the world's leaders.

Before the war, New Eden used it's unique natural position as a gateway between the Americas, Africa, Europe, and Asia to build close relations with all major powers.

Something I truly can't criticize my home for is the fact that they used their relative neutrality to broker a deal that would end the war's bloodshed, and they attempted to ease the suffering of some people.

Officially, that war was fought due to the belief that industrial nations were running out of the resources needed to fuel their growth. In reality, it wasn't anything more than a greedy ploy to prevent their rivals from consolidating too much power.

The truth is that the biggest factor in driving the war forward was the greed of those in charge.

They wanted to seize control of lands that could grow their power, even during a climate disaster. Many countries feared that if their rivals succeeded in doing so, they would eventually be able to take away their own power. That fear was mostly unfounded; however, it still led to the deaths of over 600 million people, and nearly destroyed the planet.

In the years that followed the war, New Eden experienced incredible technological advancement, and unprecedented economic growth. Once some amount of stability had returned to the world, and food supplies could be procured—other countries shared this post-war growth.

It's been more than sixty years since humanity first started a war for resources that almost eradicated our entire species. Yet even after half a century of growth, the world still isn't any closer to entirely running out of natural resources.

I'd find it almost ironic but. . . The kind of people who can commit such acts, and completely disregard human lives for no reason beyond their own greed have always scared me.

A consequence of New Eden's relative stability is that many of the world's wealthiest, or most "elite" humans choose to live here. Primarily due to the favoritism granted to them.

If you live in New Eden as one of the upper class, it's a paradise where you can do just about anything you could ever want. However, that paradise is at the expense of disregarding any who stand beneath you.

The safety and stability of New Eden is an illusion, experienced only by the most powerful.

There are countless people who are oppressed by the ruling class. The general population in New Eden suffers from the same issues seen in every part of the world. Fear of authority, extortion, violent crime—the regular population live in constant fear. They suffer most at the hands of their fellow man.

People in this world are not born equal; that is a simple fact of life.

Regardless of how hard someone may try to believe otherwise, human lives don't all matter equally. The things that make life worth living aren't always the same for everyone. Some people might feel the need to take things from others, while others might want to give something back to the world.

Even the rich and elite in New Eden are not exempt from their own sense of self importance.

They see themselves as superior to the lower classes because they've achieved a level of wealth and influence, but in reality most of them lack real ability. They're just the people who are willing to do whatever it takes to win. They're often the kind of people willing to inflict pain indiscriminately, or crush any resistance to their ambitions.

People like that are a reflection of the world at large.

Just as the poor will kill for food, or money, the rich will kill for power. If you were not lucky enough to be born into the upper echelon, New Eden, and the entire world, is full of constant suffering. Every day is a fight for survival for most people.

As a young child, I believed that although some people are superior due to their ability, all good people should be treated fairly, and equally. I felt that innocent—good people shouldn't have to constantly live in fear.

I truly believed that if a person contributes to society, they're entitled to equal protection under the law, and they should be protected by justice, because it was the just thing.

I was naive.

In the modern world, the "justice" that is supposed to be an equalizer that protects every person has become a weapon wielded by the rulers to destroy any opposition.

I sometimes wish I could simply have remained ignorant to the world's suffering—the world's injustice.

I've become unable to see the current state of the world as anything but a corrupt monolith—created by the darkest parts of humanity.

With the way things are now, I feel like humanity is destined to repeat its mistakes again and again until we eventually destroy ourselves; unless something changes.

I may wish for the world to change, but ultimately, I'm also a creation of this backwards world. I'm someone who greatly benefited from this system.

Being born as the only son of one of New Eden's most influential figures means I was always set above others.

I never needed to worry about money, food, clothing, safety. So long as I lived up to everyone's expectations, and followed the rules—I could have simply walked along the path created for me before I was even born.

***

I was born a blue eyed baby boy, complete with pitch black hair, and given the name Fate Reylin on May 18th, 2023. My mother, Mayumi Reylin, is one of the most popular and influential figures of New Eden. I've always been told my face, and looks, are almost identical to her. I never knew my father.

Speaking about my mother though, she is known worldwide for her beauty, and talents; she was an actress, singer, model. As a child, I believed she could do anything. She was like a superhero to me.

Being her only child, it was expected of me to follow the same path as her, and live up to her legacy. No one put more pressure on me than my mother's childhood friend, and manager, Annette Grace.

Annette Grace, she's a red haired woman about the same age as my mother. She always keeps her hair tied up neatly, and presents herself as a kind—beautiful manager. I'm not blind to her ability, or her physical appeal, but she wanted me to simply become another "Mayu", someone who could use their radiance as a tool for others.

When I was younger, she was incredibly kind to me. She even acted like an aunt towards me; probably because she wanted to raise me as my mother's successor. Once it started showing that I wasn't dedicated to her vision, she no longer looked at me with kindness. I think part of Annette disliked me since the day I was born, because she was no longer able to monopolize my mother.

As far back as I can remember, I've been told countless times how I'll need to train hard, and dedicate myself to achieving everyone's goals. All so that I can have a chance at living up to Mayu's legacy.

I never fully understood why, but from the very beginning I just couldn't stand living that kind of life.

My mother truly was the perfect person for her role. No matter what she did, the world loved her, praised her, and treated her like royalty. She is kind enough, and also naive enough to never understand what her role truly was in New Eden.

Her acting, singing, wearing fake emotions, acting out different lives, it was of course entertainment for everyone, but the elite didn't only love my mother for that reason.

Leaders all around the world consciously use her as a tool.

She's the perfect figure to help unite a society, she can entertain and capture the hearts of regular citizens and the elite alike. However, her radiance can just as easily be used to distract the public from the truth—the darkness in the world.

As a young child being raised to be just like her—that may have been what started to open my eyes to just how truly distorted the world was.

Whatever the case, it was during those formative years that I began to think that the world had to be changed; that it could be better.

A world where people don't have to live in constant fear.

A world where people don't have to suffer for no reason.

Innocent people shouldn't have to worry about some powerful bureaucrat destroying their life on a whim, or a violent criminal taking everything from them.

I truly believe that a world where people don't have to suffer every day could exist.

Although I'm still just a child by society's standard, I decided that even if it was impossible, even if I stood alone, I would try to change the world.

Even if I alone sought that.

"Fate, watch where you're going. You seriously worry me when you stare off into space like that."

I look up to see my best friend; one of my only friends, Jun Arneas, standing slightly above me, looking concerned.

He's a fairly small, somewhat androgynous, and slightly feminine looking boy the same age as myself. His purple eyes, fairly long silver hair tied behind his head, combined with his somewhat aloof and carefree atmosphere has led to him developing a slight complex about not being seen as manly enough.

Outside of his slight complex, he has a fairly strong level of self assurance, and he's always been incredibly intelligent. Before we were friends, he dealt with bullying due to his looks, and also the fact that he used to be really meek.

In the last few years though, he's gained more confidence in himself, and he's also become a little fixated on things like justice, morality, and doing the right thing.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

But it's most likely due to a mix of the fact that he was bullied pretty severely, combined with my own influence.

Most of that matters little in our relationship though, he's always genuine and kind to me. He's one of the only people who see me as "Fate," and not as some failed imitation of my mother. Other than sometimes being too clingy, he's one of the only people I can enjoy spending time with.

"Sorry, I was just thinking about something. What did you say?"

I wasn't paying any attention. I have no idea if he was talking about something important.

Jun arched his eyebrows in surprise, "You're actually listening? Wow, you really are a freak. It's a surprise you haven't already walked into traffic."

I can practically hear every word dripping in sarcasm. I see him also wearing a kind—reassuring smile, but I notice a small bit of worry in his eyes.

He holds his hand out to me: "Sorry, I wasn't paying attention." I take his hand and allow him to pull me back onto the path home.

"Hmph, it's fine, I know how you get when you're deep in thought. But, please at least watch where you're going. I really, really~ don't want to have to look for a new best friend." he says playfully as we continue to walk side by side.

What a great feeling it is, knowing my best friend cares for me so much.

This has been our routine for years now, we both live nearby in one of the most upper class wards of New Eden. We always walk together to the automated cabin terminal, ride together to school, and repeat the trip after school. Regardless of how messed up both of our personal lives may get, our ritual together has remained a constant.

After walking together for a couple minutes I hear Jun call out again.

"Well, here's where we split up," he says pointing to the right, knowing exactly where I live.

"I'm really sorry, but I have tutoring after school until our finals, so I won't be able to hang out after school. Maybe~ you should spend some time with Ritsuko—if she's not busy." he sound apologetic at first, but then sounds hopeful while trying to get me to agree.

My response is pretty much just a fairly dismissive, "Sure."

"Well anyways, I'll still head over here in the morning to meet you, yea?" He quickly adds as an afterthought.

"Yeah, sure" I say sighing. I can tell he wants to ask me about my thoughts, but he hasn't.

Just when I think he isn't going to ask me, he simply smiles again, and continues talking.

"So, you really do seem like you were thinking about something serious, care to share with me?"

"No," I respond bluntly. "But it's nothing that important anyway." I add with a smile. He looks a bit puzzled at first, but nods.

"Alright, Alright, I'll believe you, no need to be so serious, I was just a bit worried." Jun flashes a knowing smirk at me as he begins to walk away.

After not too many steps, he turns back around, "See you tomorrow, Fate!" he calls out to me. I wave back and continue walking home.

I have to admit, he does worry me sometimes.

With almost everyone I've ever met, I'm able to conceal whatever I'm truly feeling. I'm able to act like the perfect, polite child: but when I'm not acting, I'm often said to be fairly expressionless, and stoic. Somehow though, Jun is somehow able to see through just about any mask I put on, and know how I actually feel.

Again—annoyingly perceptive.

I continue the short walk towards home. This part of the city is quieter than most parts of New Eden, but it's still quite busy. There are plenty of people coming and going, and the constant sounds of automated cabins driving past drowns out most of the other noise.

***

My decision to not pursue the same path as my mother was not without consequence.

I put all of my effort into everything I did, except for succeeding my mother. I studied harder than anyone else—I made sure that my school grades, public appearance, and extracurricular parts of my life were perfect.

Ever since I was a young child I was praised as a genius—as someone who was superior. I made sure I was seen as a flawless child who was without reproach. I tried to forge out my own identity, be "Fate," not just an imitation of my mother.

Regardless of how hard I tried, how hard I struggled—I went off the tracks laid out for me. The countless hours I spent trying to prove myself, trying to show that I could stand as just myself, was all deemed worthless.

Ultimately, my rejection of being my mother's imitation was seen as a lack of talent, lack of will—failure to live up to everyone's expectation.

Annette, my mother's subordinates, and possibly even my mother all began to discard me once it started to show that I wouldn't live up to my mother's legacy.

Everyday the looks of disdain and disgust towards me became more intense, and even more frequent. Everyday my mother's fame and reputation grew, and I felt like the only thing that was growing was my discontent for the world.

Annette manipulated my mother's schedule so she never spends time at home, so I live alone most of the time. Part of me used to resent my family for this.

Truthfully though, I'm aware that my mother is enough of an airhead to do this with no ill will on her part.

***

Finally making it back to my empty home, I head straight to my room.

I feel that I hate the corrupt form of the world, and maybe even some of the irredeemable people in it. It may be foolish, but I believe that it's possible for the world, and humanity itself, to be better. Yet regardless of my feelings I can't even save myself, much less the world.

I take a seat on my bed and just stare at the ceiling. When I look to my bookshelf against the wall, I notice some trace amounts of dust on the shelves. While leaning back in my bed I just briefly imagine the dust being brushed away.

Almost immediately after, I feel an odd sensation flowing through my brain. It feels as if my brain is simultaneously itching, and filled with an overwhelming numbness. It's not painful, but the presence of the feeling leaves me unable to focus on anything else.

Another wave comes over me as soon as soon as I imagine the dust being pushed away again. As I continue thinking about it, the sensation continues to grow in intensity, and eventually I start to feel something strange inside of my body.

Although there's no pain or discomfort, I feel as though something is slowly pushing through my mind. The strange sensations keep growing, and before long the feeling begins to overwhelm my entire body, and makes me dizzy.

"What the hell's going on?" I say as I fall back onto the mattress on my bed.

The sensation gradually starts to diminish, as if whatever it was has left my mind.

Before long, I'm able to regain control of my senses, and I sit up on the bed.

I'm shocked by what happened, but I don't feel any different. I look around my room, and notice a faint layer of the dust is gone.

I get off the bed, and walk to the shelf where the dust was. While holding my breath, I look where the dust previously was, and notice that some of it is now floating in the vicinity.

"How did this..." I whisper to myself.

For a second I think about the possibility that it might be from wind, or maybe a hallucination caused by whatever I was just experiencing, or that I may simply have not seen it correctly.

I continue to look around my room: nothing else is disturbed, and there is nothing to have caused this.

If it were a hallucination, it would likely be much more intense than what I experienced, and I would probably still feel disoriented and sick afterwards. So I assume I was just remembering incorrectly.

I start pacing around my room, going over what happened in my head. After spending a short time thinking, I feel as if I'm the world's greatest fool.

Either my memory is messed up—or I've gone crazy, and I experienced some kind of hallucination, or. . . The other part of me that feels like an idiot wants to believe that what I saw was real, and that I may have somehow caused it.

My curiosity, and my reluctance to admit that I've gone crazy ultimately wins.

I decide that even if I may look like an idiot, I'll attempt to recreate what happened.

I see a small dirt particle on my desk no larger than a millimeter. I decide to try to imagine "picking up" the dirt particle without moving my hands. I also make sure I'm not breathing, and that there is no major air movement in my room. I imagine picking up the dirt in my head and having it come to my hand.

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This time the sensation in my head is much stronger, and I experience a lot more disorientation. I lean down onto my bed with one arm, I can feel waves of dizziness, but I fight as hard as I can to stay awake and make sure I see everything that happens.

Despite the overwhelming feeling, I'm not hurt or in pain. After just a few seconds that felt as if they dragged on for hours, the sensation fades, and I'm left with my original calm mind again. As the worst of the dizziness leaves my mind, I'm certain I see the dirt particle float in a straight line directly to the palm of my hand.

Watching it float to my hand, and remain suspended in the air defying gravity, I'm unsure how to feel.

I hear my heart pounding in my ears.

I start going over everything that is happening, and trying to determine if this is real; if I truly have some type of psychic power, or if I'm just going crazy. While the dirt is still suspended in the air, I try imagining it moving up, towards the ceiling.

It doesn't move at all, and I start to feel a "strain" in my head, and it falls into my palm.

I'm currently very worried about this being some kind of delusion or hallucination.

But the idea of something like psychic abilities existing, and the thought of me possessing something like that has too much appeal to just ignore it entirely. Continuing my attempts at moving a few tiny pieces of debris for a little longer, I'm confronted with the fact that whatever is happening is repeatable.

Having spent a while moving tiny objects around, I'm starting to notice an almost "soreness" in my head, similar to what muscle fatigue would feel like.

Against my better judgement, I ignore the feeling.

I notice a small eraser, something that would weigh no more than a single gram. Focusing my mind on it, I'm even able to "pick up" the small eraser, and have it float gently into my hand. The instant I drop it, I realize I may have pushed my luck.

Although the disorientation isn't unbearable, I'm hit with a wave of nausea, and as soon as I'm able to, I stumble my way to the bathroom. I just lean above the sink, and try to let it pass.

This wave passes almost as quickly as it began. Although it was intense, I feel almost completely normal after about 5 minutes. Once I'm mostly back to normal, I run my head under cold water, and I even try slapping myself a few times just to make sure I'm not dreaming.

Staring at my reflection in the mirror, I'm confronted with reality again.

Unless I've truly gone crazy and lost my grip on reality entirely, I have some sort of psychokinetic ability.

Now, I know moving a gram or 2 isn't impressive—at all. But the fact remains that I'm able to do so using only my mind with no physical contact. Just the simple absurdity of the situation makes me question my sanity.

Returning to my bedroom, I look at the clock on my dresser, it reads 6:25 pm. I've spent almost two hours experimenting with this. Even though the strange numbness, and dizziness has gone away, I still feel slightly drained.

I lay back onto my bed, and I alternate between resting my eyes, and staring at the ceiling again. Having spent a while resting, I open my eyes and look back at my desk.

I notice a slightly larger eraser that I sometimes use while studying, it probably weighs just a few grams. I'm finally feeling normal again, so I decide to try moving it.

At first, it is barely lifted before I drop it, it just tumbles back to my desk. After "focusing" a bit more, and putting more "effort" in, the eraser slowly moves to my palm, where it remains floating. I try simply "holding" the eraser a small distance from my palm for as long as I can.

Compared to my first attempts at using this power, it remains floating for almost a full thirty seconds before dropping into my hand.

To my surprise, I don't really feel any major strain, or disorientation. Other than a slight sore feeling in my head, I feel completely fine.

Deciding to test both my luck and newfound ability, I slowly try "moving" heavier objects. Coffee cups, books, furniture, none of that really works, I was at most barely able to "lift" the corner of a single plastic cup.

Just about everything heavier I try moving simply remains exactly where it is, meanwhile I gain a feeling reminiscent of muscle strain when I try to move it—only, this strain isn't felt with my physical body. . .

Unlike earlier, that feeling of strain and fatigue doesn't remain just in my head. It feels as if I have some sort of sensation outside of my body, almost like whatever is causing objects to move is somehow tied to my senses.

I lean back in bed again to recover from my pathetic attempts at rearranging my furniture.

I decide that I have to do some research on this phenomena, so I get up to go sit at my desk.

Turning on my PC, I open a search engine and type in "psychokinesis." The results show a ton of articles relating to the paranormal, and various conspiracy theories. Since I know little about these topics, I go down the page until I see an article about it.

"Psychokinesis is the scientific study of telekinetic phenomenon, which deals with the manipulation of physical objects due to mental energy. Telekinesis is defined as the ability to move objects using only your mind, and has been described by many people throughout history. Scientists say that telekinesis does not exist because of its apparent ease of use, as well as the lack of evidence."

Well, that helps me gain a more concrete definition, but it's nothing really useful.

Starting another search, I simply look up "psychic powers", followed by another quick search of "existence of psychic individuals." Most of the articles I find on the internet are extremely skeptical, claiming that such things as telepathy, precognition, and others cannot exist scientifically.

Some of the articles go as far as to claim that these types of abilities are nothing more than false memories, or hallucinations.

Some of the articles do mention experiments done with psychokinesis. However, all studies reached the same conclusion: there is no scientific possibility of psychic powers, or individuals with superhuman abilities existing. Scientists have concluded that the idea of someone with actual psychic abilities existing to be impossible.

I think about what these articles are saying, and how they claim that psychic powers simply don't exist.

I immediately begin a quite depressing search for "mental Illness" and "delusions of psychic ability." Unsurprisingly, I find several articles that discuss the possibility that someone could suffer from a delusional disorder involving their belief that they are a psychic or have some sort of superhuman ability.

I read through a few of the articles, most of them are similar in that they all describe the symptoms, and other common behaviors associated with these disorders. Considering that I've just recently begun "using" this odd ability, I begin to wonder if this might really be a delusion.

I think back about the strange sensation I felt earlier, and what I was doing when I first began experiencing it.

While still sitting at my desk, I mentally try moving a couple pieces of small debris that are close by. I try putting more "effort", or "power" into this objective, and the 2 pieces both move to my hand. They remain suspended in the air until I decide to let go of them, causing them to drop into my hand.

Yet again, this phenomena is repeated.

The idea of this being some kind of mental illness is a hard pill to swallow.

At this point, I'm starting to become worried that I might actually have some sort of mental illness, especially considering that the original numbness, and all forms of dizziness and disorientation seems to have completely vanished when manipulating tiny objects.

I begin wondering how I could confirm whether it's real or not.

My first thought is to simply use this power to manipulate an object in front of another person, and their reaction will determine whether this is a sole delusion on my part.

This idea has far more negatives than positives.

If I'm hallucinating, it may be the quickest way to get an answer; all i'd have to do is find a suitable person, and make an object float in front of them. Although it'd give me a quick answer, they'd undoubtedly have questions and try to dig them up.

Either way though, if it is a delusion, I'd like to keep my illness to myself—and if it is real, I'd also like to keep that to myself.

I continue reading through articles related to psychokinetics, and start thinking about other ways to test whether this is really a delusion.

Outside of going to another person, there's really no easy way to concretely determine if this is my own delusion. Without confirmation from another person, anything I try while all alone could simply still be part of a hallucination.

I decide that for now, I'll continue to experiment. If this is truly a delusion on my part, any further investigating is pointless. But, the alternative of risking this on an outsider is too great a threat considering this is entirely new to me.

While making preparations to gather data on this ability, some thoughts remain at the forefront of my mind. If this is real, and I truly have psychic powers—does that mean that there are other people with psychic powers?

Or am I the only human to have this kind of power both in the past, and present? Or is the existence of this kind of thing something that is never allowed to see the light of day, or be known by the general public.

If I'm the only being with this ability, and psychic power is entirely foreign to the world, that would probably be the best scenario for me.

Although, if that is the case, the question of how I gained this power will remain an ongoing issue. However. . . If I'm not alone, or psychics are known to the world's leaders, I'll have to be much more careful when exposing my ability, and also experimenting with it, so as to remain undiscovered.

I really don't want to risk becoming a human guinea pig.

Finally making it to our supply closet, I start grabbing different items to help me measure my ability—stopwatches, scales, measuring tapes, anything that we had that could help me gather data, I brought straight to my room.

Immediately after returning to my room I begin testing my power in different ways. Using this "power" is a difficult sensation to describe. The most ideal way to describe it would be to simply say it's a sixth sense. It almost feels like a kind of invisible presence that I control, but that wouldn't be a sufficient description.

It feels as if it's a type of "aura". . . or maybe just "power" combined with a type of mental "muscle." It's similar to an invisible appendage that has no concrete form. Calling it a type of "mental body" that I'm able to manipulate in a similar manner to my physical body may be the most accurate description.

Whatever it is exactly—I'm able to manipulate it in a way that feels incredibly reminiscent to moving my physical body.

As I continue repeated tests, I realize I'm progressively feeling more and more drained.

Now it's no longer just a feeling in my head, or "mental body," even my body begins to feel drained. It almost feels as if I have a specific amount of "power" within my body and mind. It seems that running low—or out, is accompanied by feeling of fatigue depending on use.

I rest for maybe half an hour, and I begin feeling a bit less fatigued.

Having just rested, I decide to test how much weight I can move.

Gathering together some small weights, I begin testing my limits.

I'm able to move 1 gram without issue, moving on to 2 grams, I'm able to again move it in the same manner. When I try to pick up 3 grams, I'm first unable to move it, but when I "focus" on the object, and put more "strength" into my attempt, I'm able to again move it. Making a jump up to 5, and 6 grams, I'm able to move 5 after putting all of my "strength" into it. But 6 is completely unattainable.

Trying to move 6 grams, my "mental body" starts feeling a strong sensation similar to the strain muscles get when trying to move something beyond their limit.

Having given up on moving heavier weights, I decide that before another wave of fatigue hits, I'll try testing the amount of objects I can move at once. Two objects weighing a total of 2 grams is the most I'm capable of.

Anything beyond that causes me to lose "focus" and drop everything.

I quickly move on to testing the distance of this power. I discover that I have to be seeing the object visually. So long as I can see it, it appears that I can move anything in my room; it feels as if I could move anything I can see.

It feels as if distance doesn't really have much of an affect on how much I can move in terms of weight. The distance of an object also doesn't appear to change the amount of "power" used up. While doing this test, I also decide to measure the speed at which I can move an object.

I quickly realize that while distance doesn't affect power usage, speed does.

When I'm just using my power normally, an object moves at a pace of about 0.6 meters per second. When I try focusing on just speed alone, I'm able to move a 0.5 gram object at a speed of 1.5 meters per second, but this comes with a noticeable feeling of strain.

Running all these tests also helps me figure out what kind of movements I can make, and how precise my control is.

Simple straight lines by far the easiest. Simple arcs, or simple paths are also doable, but take a bit more focus, and ultimately I'm unable to move objects without using either my hand, or my body as a sort of "center." I'm entirely incapable of moving an object around freely.

I think that I've collected as much data as I can. It feels like I've reached a sort of limit; my physical body, and my mind are all covered in a thick layer of exhaustion.

Having spent so much time gathering data, I can tell I pushed myself a bit too far. Unlike earlier, I feel a consistent pain. This pain spreads throughout not only my mind and physical body, but I also feel a pain in my "mental body".

Having a headache, or having your body be in pain is something familiar—something that is common. Feeling pain outside of my physical body is an incredibly unsettling sensation. Having my "mental body" or my psychic power feel pain is really an unforeseen problem, it's difficult to describe what pain that is outside of your physical body feels like.

Even with this pain, part of me truly wants to continue testing this newfound ability, but I can easily tell I've already far surpassed my limit.

As I start to get ready for bed, the feeling of exhaustion still remains without diminishing.

The feeling of pain that was at first just a constant ache has slowly become stronger, and now it's painful enough that I can't ignore it.

While getting undressed for sleep, and brushing my teeth, I feel the pain growing increasingly stronger—every heart beat—every small movement—sends a sharp pain throughout my mind.

As I yet again stare in the mirror, I realize I forgot something very important. Since I first used this power, I dove head first into research and data collection. I completely disregarded anything beyond that one line of thought.

Side effects

God damn it, I actually am an idiot.

I've completely forgotten about and disregarded the possibility of side effects.

I don't know if my power is permanent or temporary, I don't know if it'll cause any long term damage to my mind or body.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to stop using it, or if this pain will wear off eventually.

I don't know if I'll even be able to use this power against anyone.

I don't know if I'll be able to use it to hurt people.

I don't know if it will affect me physically or mentally.

I don't know.

My thoughts are a mess. I'm just going in circles.

I have absolutely no idea where to go from here, and I don't know how to proceed. I should have at least been more prepared for this; at the very least, I should have considered the fact that I might experience side effects.

Even though I felt that fear of discovery earlier, I didn't consider the idea that this might have some serious side effects.

If I was going to use this power in any way, I should have at least been prepared for the possibility. But instead, I went full force into researching, without ever thinking about what might happen if I were to use this power continuously.

What if I can't stop using it? What if I can't control it?

No.

I won't allow myself to just run away again. I'll do whatever it takes to learn about this power, and learn how to control it.

If there are some side effects—I'll find a way to manage them, or at least avoid permanent damage.

I try to just breathe and calm down again, and I decide I'll just try to sleep. And hope that I just overdid it today.

Leaving my bathroom, the pain is almost unbearable, but my mind at least feels a bit calmer. I finally feel that I can at least attempt to sleep.

But as I walk past my computer, a slight feeling of paranoia—a fear of me being discovered unprepared returns. I decide that I have to force myself to do just a bit more research.

I can't take the risk of missing something important, and being discovered unprepared. I at least want to know if I'm in danger of anyone coming after me.

Anything I can think of I search for, articles, news, forums, scientific studies, anything that could give me a trail, a hint—a glimpse of something that could give me answers.

I still find absolutely nothing.

No kind of information.

No sort of news about an individual with psychic powers appearing.

I give up.

I gently lie down in my bed in order to prevent the pain from getting worse.

While I lay there in bed, trying to sleep, I can't stop thinking about just what this power is.

If I'm going to continue using it like this, I'll have to monitor my health closely to see if this leads to anything more severe—or even permanent.

I've spent years dreaming of a world where innocent people could live without violence.

Without fear.

Without suffering.

I always told myself that I'd change the world.

Whatever this power is, I have to at the very least investigate it as a resource that could help me change the world.

I have to see if I can use it to make the world a better place, make the world that she talked to me about—the world that she dreamed about, a reality.

Well, I guess I may be getting ahead of myself.

Currently my greatest notable trait is being able to move a couple of grams at a speed comparable to the average human's walking speed. Perhaps I should look into this a bit more, and at least confirm that I haven't gone crazy before I start thinking that I've found the secret to the world's salvation.

Ugh, damn it.

Even laying in bed doesn't diminish the pain. It's bad enough I want to cry.

I end up just closing my eyes, and curling my body in on itself—into a small ball.

Unable to find relief, I wind up praying to anything, to anyone, that I can just turn off my consciousness and allow myself to drift off into sleep.

***

May 25th, 2036.

When I was just 13 years old, I awakened a power that surpassed reason.

That day marked the end of the life I knew before.

It could even be considered the worst day of my life.

I didn't know where my ambitions, wielding that kind of power, would lead.

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