I remember this voice, a man’s that’s notably sweet and lovely. There is only one person I know of that it could be.
Lan Guan stood at the doorway of the stone room, holding its frame with both hands as he leaned on it slightly, complexion a bit unnaturally white.
He’s typically soft and charming, and this position makes him look even more delicate as a woman, entirely suitable for a Dan role; were he disguised as a woman, no one would have any idea he was a man. He had formerly been a famous Dan who was popular on both sides of the Yangtze river, and nowadays, though he’s since changed professions into a procurer, everyone is still accustomed to calling him ‘Proprietor Lan’.
“What am I doing?” Yuan Qingyun callously mocks him, simultaneously letting go of me. “You don’t know what I’m doing?”
The twisted-up chains rotate in the air due to the reactionary force of the sudden release, causing my attached body to swing in a half-circle. In my slight dizziness, I seem to catch sight of Lan Guan’s face turning even paler.
“How is the House?” Yuan Qingyun nonchalantly tidied up his lower garments.
“I listened to what you said and set off the fire, it’s almost burnt now… Yun, you shouldn’t have done it like this. We put so much effort into the Everfragrant House, the Lord will be angry…”
“Shut it!” Yuan Qingyun rebuked him coldly. “That’s your Lord, not mine! So long as I can take my revenge, he can find someone to come kill me if he doesn’t like it!”
“Yun…” Lan Guan called weakly.
“You weren’t watched by anyone? Were your tracks uncovered?”
Lan Guan shakes his head. “I took advantage of the chaos to leave, and switched carriages three times on the way over.”
Yuan Qingyun huffed. “You need to have extreme caution. A lot of Zhang’s cronies aren’t new meat. That punk Yao Jinzi is someone I’ve know from childhood who keeps quiet, but actually has the spirit of a fox.”
“Don’t worry, Yun,” Lan Guan quietly consoled him. “This is a very hidden place. No one could find it.”
Lan Guan looks at him, then looks at me, wavering, wanting to go yet stopping his steps. He eventually bit his lip and whispered imploringly, “Yun, you stabbed him to death, yes?”
Yuan Qingyun didn’t answer. He slowly turned sideways, gazing at Lan Guan with his un-smile. “Hm?”
“Killing him wouldn’t be overdoing it. Yun, I know he and you are arch-nemeses. Kill him and it’s over with. Why must you give him fragmented pieces of misery?”
“Lan’er.” Yuan Qingyun’s dangerously elongated cadence came from his soft voice, much like the whisper of a lover, yet often used with deadly words. “Are you jealous?”
Lan Guan’s pale was was suffused with a wisp of redness. “Yun.”
Then he said firmly, “There’s too much to do today. I must write a letter to notify the Lord, and there’ll be plenty of time for that later, anyways. Why are you being impatient, Yun?”
Yuan Qingyun tilts his head as he thinks about it, smile growing. “That’s also true. You can’t get tired of eating good food, or lose your appetite for it.”
Yuan Qingyun removed me from the iron chains, dragging me beside a wooden cage. I don’t have the strength to stand on my own now and can only let him tow me along. The whip lashes constrict me, causing unbearable pain, as I grit my teeth to bear it.
The cage is small, its opening smaller. Yuan Qingyun first stuffs the lower half of my body in and leaving my upper half outside of it. I know struggling is useless, so I obediently let him manipulate me about. That I can presently escape from being raped from me is already very satisfying, anyways.
He suddenly lowered his head and bit me on the shoulder. It wasn’t very hard, but it was still extraordinarily painful and came so suddenly, shocking me into giving out a small cry of fear. Raising my head to see his beautiful face up close, that burning fire beginning to rise up in his eyes again, those thin lips smelling of lust, I can’t refrain from shutting my eyes to not look at him.
Yuan Qingyun chuckled lightly, grabbing my chin and lifting my face up to scrutinize it delicately. The hand isn’t rough, it’s thumb – intentionally or not – caressing the delicate skin on my neck. “Sir Zhang,” he whispers next to my ear, “So sorry for leaving you cold and alone tonight. I’ll definitely accompany you well tomorrow.”
A vicious chill moves throughout my body and I very nearly shudder. I force myself not to look him in the eyes. He grinned harder, his hands hardly gentle as they shoved the rest of me in the cage and locked the door on it.
Yuan Qingyun and Lan Guan leave together, extinguishing the lights and leaving me alone in darkness.
All of the welts seem like they’re some sort of living creature, attached to my body, nibbling and biting me, the pain and burning sensation continuous, every rush of blood following every beat of my heart aching. I gradually get hungrier, not having eaten anything today. I didn’t have time to eat breakfast that morning because I had to go to the Palace after Court. My parched lips seem as if they’re cracking. My body… needs no further detail, the invading cold air making it slowly go numb.
Yet as time slowly goes by, all these pains and discomforts become insignificant as my consciousness begins to focus in on one aspect: the cage is very small. I cannot stretch my legs out or sit down, only able to maintain a half-crouching half-sitting position. Having to maintain this posture for this past half a shichen is a torture within a torture, every second as difficult to endure as a century.
Yuan Qingyun is truly too vicious.
I wanted to cut my legs off. I wanted to die right then and there. I wished that when that plan crash happened I had just straight up died. Why did I come here to endure such punishment? I started to hate my mother who birthed me into this world…
The empty darkness began to reverberate with the sound of my soft sobbing.
What’s Jinzi doing right now? Is he madly trying to find me? I’m regretting my excessive self-protection attitude. If I had known beforehand that I’d be in a life-or-death situation like this where I could do nothing about it, would I still cling to those insignificant matters? It’s caused both of us anguish. It’d be better to forgive and forget the small stuff.
I don’t know how long I suffered this torment, and for a long time doubted that I was still alive, when I heard the sound of delicate footsteps.
The visitor stopped in front of my cage, the subtle radiance of the tiny torch illuminating Lan Guan’s graceful face. He opened the cage’s door and dragged me out in his arms. It’s then I realize Lan Guan is a man, able to lift me without much effort.
The second I came out, I felt like I was alive again. Never have I been grateful to someone like this like I am to Lan Guan now.
My legs can’t straighten themselves anymore, aching and numb and hurting like they aren’t my own. Lan Guan lightly pulled them, causing me to yelp in pain. He didn’t let go, gently pulling them straight and placing them on his knees, slowly massaging them until my blood resumed circulation.
“Did you come to kill me, Lan Guan?” I asked softly.
He shook his head. “I thought about it. Killing you would be the best for you, but I wouldn’t be able to in the end.”
He shakes his head. “I can’t let all of Yun’s efforts be wasted.”
He pulls out a small case and opens it up to a medicinal scent. He uses the tips of his fingers to stir the ointment and smear it on me, tenderly and meticulously.
“…Really, Yun isn’t a bad person, he’s very kind-hearted. Don’t… hate him too much. If I didn’t know it well, I’d suspect there was a mistake somewhere… How could someone like you bring harm to his family, Sir Zhang…?”
“Someone like me?” I nearly laughed. “Lan Guan, how do you know what kind of person I am?”
“You are a good person,” he says resolutely. “I’ve seen many men, and I can differentiate the good from the bad. Yun… isn’t bad either.”
……
[T/N: ……]
If my level of goodness is only on par with Yuan Qingyun, then I am 100% not a good person. Also, Lan Guan definitely cannot differentiate between good and bad guys.
“Lan Guan, do you like him?” I ask.
Lan Guan’s fair face reddens in the dim light, a flash of brightness passing through his eyes.
“We were lowly whores,” Lan Guan lowered his head and spoke, “Born solely to serve people. The better the faces we came with, the more bitter our fates were. I was sent out at fifteen, performing in opera while occasionally going with a few men to entertain them. No one looked at us as people… I remember Yun from an earlier time. He could have still been considered a child back then. Such a pretty and respectable person, so unlike others… He’s always treated me very well… With my status, I’m unworthy of stating what I like and don’t like. But so long as Yun is happy, he could even tell me to die.”
I watched him speechlessly. What am I supposed to say? That love isn’t divided between superiors and inferiors? That would have to be agreed upon by the involved parties, and Yuan Qingyun probably doesn’t think the same.
Besides, with my current plight, how can I be my enemy’s psychiatrist and love counselor?
Lan Guan carefully attended to all my wounds with good medicine. Some of the locations are quite awkward, causing me severe embarrassment.
“Your body really is beautiful…” Lan Guan sighs lightly. “I’ve seen many pretty boys, but never have I seen such complete beauty. No wonder he’s… infatuated with you…”
Infatuated with me? I abruptly raise my head to look at him.
Lan Guan gently smoothed out my messy locks, holding me in his embrace and whispering, “Don’t be stubborn with him. He can be coaxed but not coerced… Yield to him a bit, flatter and cater to him, and he’ll be unable to hate you or be so evil anymore… Now that your martial arts have been crippled, escaping from here will be as difficult as ascending to Heaven. If you want to suffer less, this is all you can do…”
I stare at him. Is he actually suggesting this to me?
“Yun is also suffering inside — I’ve seen it with my own eyes these days — so he’s doubled his savageness towards you…”
He lifted me up and placed me back in the cage. I now view this thing like a rabbit does its natural predators, my heart sinking as I hit real, extreme fear. Unable to even think about my dignity, I reached out and tightly hugged Lan Guan’s neck, sobbing out, “Don’t put me in there, please.”
Lan Guan sighed helplessly, tone soft. “Yun will be angry if he knows. He won’t care about me, but he will torment you more…”
“He won’t come now, it isn’t daybreak, he won’t come… let me stay outside of it for a moment…” I buried my head into Lan Guan’s chest. The fragrance of his warm body, not unlike the first time seeing and smelling one’s own mother, enveloped me. Being in his arms is very warm, too.
“But it will be soon,” he said forlornly, but didn’t push me into the cage again, instead gently stroking my hair to comfort me.
“I don’t want to…” I can’t stop from crying like a spoiled child in their mother’s arms, hugging Lan Guan’s neck even tighter, tears smearing on his shoulder.
Hah, how long has it been since I’ve thrown a tantrum? The torture’s made me weak.
Lan Guan is a very maternal sort of man, and he can’t resist holding me tight. “Be good. Don’t be afraid.” He then hugged me for a long time.
When I recall this comical scene later, I’ll probably be endlessly ashamed, but I secretly decide that if the day comes that I escape, I will properly repay Lan Guan for giving me medicine and mutual warmth someday.
“And what are you doing?” A cold voice sounded out, freezing my body. Lan Guan pushes me away and jumps up.
Yuan Qingyun held a lamp, lighting up his increasingly ashen face.
Lan Guan is somewhat stumped for an explanation. “It’s not- Yun, this isn’t what you think it is.”
Yuan Qingyun didn’t acknowlede him. He stared at me ferociously, tone contemptuous. “Sir Zhan, you really are loose. Can a man really not stand one night of this? I truly admire you, though. Even Lan’er is fooling around with you!”
I laugh sarcastically. “A vile person like you naturally sees others as the same kind of vile.”
Lan Guan still wants to resolve this, and got a giant, roaring “Scram!” from Yuan Qingyun. His face was deathly pale in an instant, teardrops scramming from his eyes yet not falling. He covered his face and ran out.
Yuan Qingyun snatches me by the hair and pulls me over, wordlessly viciously slapping me in the face twice again, blood coming out from my lips once more. I already don’t care about this, only inwardly hoping that he doesn’t knock out my teeth. There’s no dentists in antiquity.
“Slut.” This guy’s personal insult vocabulary is really lacking.
I ignore him.
“What should I punish you with this time?” He seems like he’s talking to himself.
Recalling all those weird instruments of torture, my face goes white.
“I know.” He suddenly smiles. Picking up Lan Guan’s abandoned jinchuang ointment, he then pulled out a fine dagger from his waist. “I’ll castrate you first. You won’t have a use for that thing later, anyways.”
As I look at this smiling demon in front of me in indescribable horror, my mind blanks out. Only one thought remains: