Chapter 86: 86

Chapter 86: Be Like a Fox

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Karhan lifted the mirror and looked at his face. The swelling went down a lot, so he thought it would be okay to go out. A few days ago, the red mark was still there, so he was worried. It was because the ferocious impression, like a wound from a fight, seemed even more horrific.

Karhan slowly opened the closet and took out his clothes and put them on. He wanted to take more rest today, but he couldn’t miss class anymore.

A melancholic sigh broke out. It was because what happened a while ago came to mind.

That night remained especially clear in his mind. Karhan was fully aware of the emotions he had been harboring until now. The fact that he had been conscious of Lilia for a long time, and that the name she called him felt special….…. He realized it was all because he loved Lilia.

Karhan wandered like a ship floating in the ocean. He was aware of his feelings, but he didn’t know what to do after that.

Karhan knew himself objectively well. He was not even qualified to stand side by side with Lilia because he was only getting her help. It was too greedy to ask her to like him the way he wanted her to.

In addition, he thought she would feel burdened if she knew how he felt. How could she be comfortable when his side had completely different feelings?

Above all, he was most afraid that this relationship would change. It will certainly not be able to go back to the past.

Karhan wanted his heart to die. He wanted everything to disappear when he closed his eyes and opened them. However, even after a day passed and then a week passed, instead of disappearing, he was filled with the longing to see her.

“…….”

Tak, the closet door closed weakly. After getting ready to go out, Karhan quietly left the bedroom and got into the carriage. Leaning his head by the window, Karhan pressed his hand against his eyes.

All kinds of thoughts bothered him when he was in a quiet space. Because of that, he couldn’t sleep well, so it felt heavy as if there was a weight on his eyelids.

What should I say……. If I met Lilia today, he was at a loss on how to react to her. Then what Rebecca said suddenly passed by his mind,

—Do you think she will love you with all her heart?

Frustrated and distressed, Karhan closed his eyes tightly. When he finally opened his eyes, the carriage was crossing the Bloden family garden.

As if early summer was rushing in, it was dyed with thick green from every end. He had already visited dozens of times, but he couldn’t get used to the enormous size of the garden. The carriage ran for a long time and arrived at the annex entrance. Karhan, who got out of the carriage, looked around lightly.

“Here you are.”

But it was only the employee who welcomed him. Karhan shrugged his shoulders involuntarily. It was regrettable, but on the other hand, he felt fortunate that he didn’t meet Lilia. If he had met Lilia right now, he would have frozen up without saying anything.

Karhan put his bag in the classroom and headed to the training arena. Knights of the Bloden family were in the middle of training in the arena. Karhan, who chose a training sword, tried to join. Then someone called him.

“Lord.”

Violet, dressed in light clothes, was standing there. As Karhan politely bowed, Violet smiled.

“Shall we have a match after a long time?”

“……Please.”

Karhan thought he should concentrate on the sword and shake off the miscellaneous thoughts. The two immediately stood in the middle of the arena. The knights who were training stopped for a while and watched the two.

Karhan, who prepared his sword, exhaled a deep breath. He had sparred against Violet several times so far but has never won. The difference between their physique and strength was clear, but it was offset by her skill.

The two who faced each other rushed at the same time, regardless of who was ready first. The swords that collided let out a very sharp sound. The match proceeded on quickly. However, Karhan was busy only following Violet’s movements, unlike usual.

Seeing the tip of the swaying blade, Violet frowned and engaged his sword. As Karhan panicked, she opened her mouth with her expressionless face.

“You seem to be losing your focus today.”

Karhan, who felt as if he got pricked, slowly put down his sword. Violet continued, looking up and down at Karhan.

“Complex thoughts are coming out of the sword. What has happened since we last saw each other?”

Karhan was silent. How could he say that he is lost because he realized his love belatedly? She was even the mother of his crush. When Karhan did not answer, Violet quietly called him.

“Lord.”

Her voice was still and distinctly piercing in his ears. Karhan looked up and faced her.

“I think of you as my disciple, at least in this arena.”

“…….”

“As a teacher, it’s natural to solve my student’s problems.”

However, Karhan’s mouth never thought of opening. While sweeping her hair back, Violet opened her mouth again,

“If there is a problem that cannot be solved, breaking it is the answer.”

Karhan was startled. Because Karhan’s problem was Lilia.

“……That’s not allowed.”

Karhan, who was shaking his head hard, swallowed a sigh. He couldn’t think of anything to say. The lack of talent in lying might lead to suspicion. But he did, in fact, want to confide in someone.

 “Actually, I….”

Karhan spoke with great difficulty.

“I’ve….. come to like Lilia from the bottom of my heart.”

“……?”

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Violet looked at Karhan with a face asking what this meant. Karhan hesitated, clasping his hands politely, not matching his size.

“I was frustrated because I didn’t know what this feeling was, but I realized it a while ago…….”

When he confessed, the tips of his ears turned red. Violet looked at Karhan with a puzzled look for a moment, then placed one of her arms on her waist.

“No, so you didn’t really like her, but you’re dating her? I heard you two fell in love at first sight at the banquet……?”

Karhan looked away in silence. Others knew Lilia and Karhan were lovers. It was because he couldn’t quit his contractual relationship for many reasons.

“First, hold the sword.”

Before he knew it, Violet had a firm grip on her sword. Karhan lifted his sword nervously. After that, Karhan was rolled hard by Violet. It was just a matter of words, but it was a fierce fight.

After a long time, Karhan was exhausted and fell down, and Violet sorted out her disheveled hair.

“You’ve come to like her now…..”

After saying that she would have kicked him out if there had been an unpleasant story after his mind had cooled down, Violet was lost in thought for a moment.

So you two started dating without even thinking about each other at first? And now Karhan is first to like Lilia.

Indeed, it was also suspicious that Lilia suddenly introduced Karhan saying she was dating him. There seemed to be something between the two. 

Well, it’s cute, so I’ll cut you some slack.….

In fact, it was because she didn’t feel any greed from Karhan that she cut some slack for him. Unlike Richard, who was openly greedy, Karhan seemed to have nothing in particular he expected from Lilia.

And although he didn’t seem to know, Karhan always had affectionate eyes when he looked at Lilia. When Violet thought about Karhan as Lilia’s husband, she felt pleasant.

Violet, who shook off the dirt, said, looking at Karhan sitting on the floor.

“So what’s your concern?”

Karhan’s face quickly darkened. When he lowered his eyes, Karhan murmured with a very low voice which was difficult to hear,

“Do I deserve to like…….”

The voice seemed to want to dig into a hole at any moment.

“You like her but don’t deserve her.”

“……!”

“Say it again every eight hours! Don’t be scared all by yourself.”

Violet glanced at the sword in his hand and added a word.

“Love is about winning.”

At Violet’s cry, Karhan was momentarily dazed. Seeing Karhan like that, Violet muttered to herself.

“I thought he was just a bear, but it turned out to be a bear with a soft personality.”

A demon on the battlefield, a filthy personality, selfish behaviors….. Who the hell came up with that rumor? Violet, who was clicking her tongue, said firmly,

“Lord, don’t be a bear and be a fox.”

“Yes.…… What?”

Unlike Karhan’s raised eyes, he blinked gently.

“Be aggressive. But don’t be too obvious, be subtle.”

It was a very difficult requirement, but Karhan nodded for now. Only then did Violet nod satisfactorily.

“Lilia has a certain interest in lord, so that’s why she’s dating you.”

Karhan was silent. 

I wish she had.

“Then try your best.”

Violet left the arena leaving a brief cheer as if she had pushed him. Karhan, who looked at Violet’s back as she receded, put his sword into its sheath.

Either way, Violet gave Karhan courage. Instead of telling him to give up and not having the qualifications, she pushed him to take the initiative.

Karhan looked up at the sky. Fragmented clouds were leisurely floating in the deep blue sky.  His mind was as bright as the sky. The complicated mind and worries were gone. Now he just wanted to see Lilia.

Karhan wiped his sweat with a towel and then simply washed himself. He was heading to the annex, organising his thoughts for now. He didn’t mean to confess right now. He didn’t want to burden her, instead he wanted to show his heart little by little.

It was up to Lilia to accept it or just to move on. In the meantime, he was going to fill in the gaps and be qualified enough to stand side by side with Lilia. Karhan, who was slowly reflecting on what Violet said, tilted his head.

“What does it mean to be a fox….”

It’s like a metaphor, is there anything special about the fox’s behavior? The foxes he has seen so far are just beasts. He thought it would be better to stop by the bookstore before he went home later.

Deep in thought, Karhan realized that he had arrived in front of the annex. And as he slowly raised his head, he saw a familiar figure standing in front of the front door. It was Lilia.

***

[To be continued in Volume 4]

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