Chapter 1: Why I quit writing World of Cage

"You will always fail if you never try." I heard that inspirational quote from my family and friends. They were right.

I am not good at writing because I never try, and I never try because I don't write. I am a cowardly perfectionist. Whenever I do something, I want to be good at it, or not try at all.

"That's just you inhaling the copium though. This isn't a healthy lifestyle. You need to change."

...I hate that. "Change." It's such a simple word, and yet I hate it. I know it is meant well, but I once got scolded by a noisy teacher when I was a very young. I got into some trouble, and either I didn't listen to her very well, or she didn't explain what I did wrong at all, but I clearly remember her say: "Are you going to change?"

Even when I was a kid, I am not exactly the smartest among the bunch. "Change? You dragged me here for reasons I don't even understand. What is there to change, and why do I need to change it?" I thought, and said: "No." I forgot whether she slapped me or simply yelled at me, asking again: "Are. You. Going. To. Change. Or. Not?"

I answered no again. She asked the same question again. At this point, I was just confused. I thought: "No does not seem to work; it does not give me a new response. This is a yes-or-no question, so let's answer with the other answer instead, even though I don't know what the context is anymore."

My youth was blessed in general, but to this day, I clearly hold grudges to that specific moment in my life.

...now where was I? Oh, right. Why did I stop writing at all.

Long story short, I looked at the numbers of the viewers, got pressured, and thought: "This is not worth it." (Especially when I didn't have a plotline to follow up the next chapters.)

Even by reading this chapter alone, you should have realized by now that I am not exactly a "think first, then act" kind of person. I write one thing, and then I immediately dump everything I can think of regarding that topic.

I focus more on actions than details. A newbie might write: "The man runs away from the monster." Meanwhile, an expert might write: "The earth trembles with each step the monster takes, nearly causing the unemployed man to stumble as he runs away for his dear life."

Both sentences in the example were written by me, but as you can see throughout this "chapter", whenever I write I usually write like a newbie. Heck, I bet an actual expert would scoff at my attempt to imitate them.

It feels like Doki Doki Literature Club, where Natsuki's simplicity and Yuri's elegance are contrasting each other. The one is angry at another's confusing words, while the other is angry at one's lack of skill. I suppose I would compare myself to Natsuki when it comes to skill in literature.

It's... frustrating. To know what is good and bad writing, to be able to judge others' work, and yet be unable to create one of my own. (Because of my unwillingness to fail, which eventually develops into unwillingness to do anything at all; sloth.)

...

What was World of Cage even about? Do I still remember it? Let's see... "People of varying age randomly got isekai'd into houses in the middle of a forest. However, they all seemed to have possessed bodies not of their own, and they each hold their own cheat items. Struggling to make sense of their new reality, will they be able to find out a way home?"

You are reading story Rambling Zone at novel35.com

...fuck, that was a terrible and lame description, but it's still more decent than whatever nonsense I wrote in the synopsis. I suck at forming a coherent thought. Refrigerator.

...

Sigh. So anyhow, there was no plot. Nothing was scripted, which was why the pacing sucks. It was chapter after chapter of exploring the world, which was a damn mistake when I have yet to explore the damn characters.

This story was based on a thought experiment I did at NUF. Those who participated, will know who I am talking about. It was a simple game / question of: "What would you do if you were transported into a house in the middle of nowhere?"

I got about eight to nine people to join, and on impulse I had set up a Discord server to play it out. That server is dead now. Perhaps it was because the players couldn't be online all the time, (most likely, it was my lack of creativity and motivation,) but eventually that game / story had come to an abrupt end, and everyone forgot about it. ...until I started writing World of Cage on ScribbleHub, and I definitely saw an old friend read it.

It was such a bad management from my side. I had always this problem where "I expect others to know what I know" and I have a tendency to put too much food on one plate.

Since everyone had done the same thing, I had immaturely thought: "Hey, let's give everyone a backstory and a cheat, and have them explore this new world," when I didn't even have a world to explore to begin with.

I am a person who... I am a person with schadenfreude. I love it when others are in misery. More specifically, fictional characters. The backstory I gave to everyone was "they all possess the bodies of people who should have died in their own world".

Yes, you read that correctly. All players come from one world (e.g. World 1), got transmigrated into another world (e.g. World 2), and possess the bodies of people from other other worlds (e.g. World 3~11).

It is obviously too much. What was it that I wanted to make? A death game like Danganronpa? A mafia / werewolf game like Jinrou Game? A cliché isekai story filled with world building?

I don't know. I don't know what I wanted. I didn't make any plans. I just did whatever came to my mind, and now I am regretting my actions.

To those who were involved, I am really sorry to waste your time and expectations. (If you still have any left, that is.) I am not going to finish the World of Cage. It is... just one of my many mistakes in life.

...

...I will talk about my other failures in the next "chapters".

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