My face scrunched up in confusion. I was already puzzled before and now that.
I couldn't help but think about what my mother in my memory said.
'Opening your heart as if there was a door? Hmm…'
Maybe…
I took another deep breath and closed my eyes again, wanting to try something. With that advice from earlier, I began to concentrate.
'Imagine a door…'
I pictured one, the same as what I have in my bedroom.
'And then open it…'
The world around me then seemed to disappear. I could not hear anything aside from a ringing silence. It's like I was completely isolated from my surroundings.
In my head, I saw myself standing in front of an intricately designed door. It was quite big and looked very heavy. There were chains all over and were quite gigantic. To me, it looked very mysterious and shady.
I wonder where the chains came from? What a wild imagination I have…
'Now then let's slowly open it…'
I pushed and the door wouldn't budge. The chains were restricting it. I frowned and tried again. The heavy chains rattled as I pushed with all my might. The door creaked slightly and a crack appeared. Within the crack, bluish light snaked out.
Well, at least, it moved for a bit...
I gasped when a cold feeling swept over me as the light hit my face. It gathered around my heart, enveloping it, and it felt like it was going to burst. It was slightly uncomfortable in all honesty.
A frown painted my face which I was unaware of. But! I felt something shifted. And it made me smile! I opened my eyes and bit my lower lip, feeling excited.
'Are you there?'
There was no reaction at first but I persisted.
'Hello?'
Again, nothing.
'I know you're in there somewhere. Just give me a sign. You can purr or something… Or wiggle… Whatever you want. Just move around…' I coaxed.
I thought that my attempt was another failure so I was about to try again but then the invisible thing rumbled or was that supposed to be a purr?
Man, I have no idea. But it made itself known nonetheless.
'It's really there! I'm not imagining things! I do have an anima!'
'Can you understand me?'
My anima responded again and at this point, I was already grinning like crazy, feeling overwhelmed.
I felt like I had grown, you know...
Though, I'm quite curious… Will I be able to communicate with it? Can I understand my anima if it doesn't speak? Hmm...
My anima stirred again and for some reason, I could feel that it was somewhat annoyed… Or I'm probably just getting senile...
But yeah, it appeared to be worrying. That's how it comes off to me.
Can animas have emotions?
They did say that a powerful anima has consciousness and can think. They have a will. But emotions…
It shifted in response and a piercing pain stabbed my heart. As if there is a needle poking it. I tried to ignore it but the longer I communicated with my anima, the more the pain and discomfort grew. I was even sucking my breath!
What is this? Why is it painful?
'Ah, but I don't want to disconnect yet…'
I felt my anima stirred again as if it's beginning to get restless just like me.
My heart feels incredibly hot now what the hell...
Someone then chose to knock on the door at that exact moment and the feeling, together with my anima, went away.
"Oh no…"
I lost the connection!
Nathaniel entered. He wasn't wearing his uniform which meant he had changed his clothes in his room first before coming to mine.
"You were looking for me?" He then asked, looking at me expectantly.
At first, I was still a little frustrated that I got interrupted and also a little breathless, but upon seeing my brother, I immediately jumped from my bed and met him halfway. He too was even surprised by how energetic I was.
"Brother! I'm glad you're finally here! I have a lot to ask you and I really really want answers so if you please listen to what I'm--"
"Calm down, Nadia," Nathan then cut me off.
"Sorry, I was just excited…" I immediately backtracked but my grin was still there.
He must have seen how enthusiastic I was and tilted his head sideways in curiosity.
"What is it?"
"Well…" I started, "I… Ummm…"
Uhh… Where to begin? How do I broach the topic to him again? I hadn't thought of that yet...
I stared at Nathan and Nathan stared right back at me. He was waiting because I still haven't said anything at all.
Err… Maybe I should have organized my thoughts first huh…
"Uhmm… well… Apparently… I can use magic," is what I ended up blurting. Straight to the point and no hitting around the bush.
Nathan's forehead wrinkled ever so slightly.
"Magic?"
I nodded, "Yes… I can use magic. And Jan-- I mean Lord Janus confirmed it for me. And the reason why birds and animals kept following me around is that they were attracted to my magic."
"..."
I gazed at Nathan who seemed at a loss for words.
He then raised one hand in front of him.
"Wait..." His eyes met mine, "You're saying that Lord Janus said that you're able to use magic."
"Correct," I affirmed. "And I believed him. I can even feel my anima from time to time! Though at first, it honestly freaked me out because I had no idea that was an undiscovered part of me…"
I was blabbering like an excited child, happily yapping away at how thrilled I was that I didn't even notice that Nathan had this complex expression on his face and was looking incredibly confused.
"And I was trying to connect with my anima a while ago right before you entered but it was truly hard. But I sensed it responding to me though and wow… it was a surreal experience!" I glanced up and looked at Nathan, "Hey! Hey! How do you communicate with your anima? Teach me about it! I want to learn--" I then stopped talking when I noticed the expression he was sporting and stared at him-- "brother? Are you okay?"
He doesn't look as happy as I thought he would be? Why is he looking at me like that?