Harry's fine brows furrowed as he stared at me, seeing that I wasn't reacting and was just staring stupidly at him. He probably saw my incredulous expression because I'm telling you, I'm feeling dubious right now.
Maybe I'm still not fine after all. I mean, how am I supposed to explain what's happening to me right now? This is weird. Strange. Freaky. Abnormal.
I know in myself that I'm not hallucinating. It felt so real which is scarier if you think about it. Looking at them, it's like their lifeline is within my grasp.
No! Stop thinking that way!
But that's how I felt. I feel like I can hold their lives… Every heartbeat can be measured and restrained… pluck the strings with my fingers… It's like I could seize it any moment if I want to.
My expression turned to horror after having all those thoughts running in my head.
No! Shut up me! Why would you think so?!
"Milady?" Erin's voice reached my ears and had pulled me from my deep thoughts.
"I… I need a moment…" I mumbled in confusion.
Let me digest this strange phenomenon first before I lose my damn mind.
I was silent for I don't know how long and they left me on my own devices though they didn't leave the room and stayed there to wait for me. All this while, I was inspecting myself for more discoveries that I could perhaps find apart from 'sensing' life.
Even without knowing what it was, I knew that I'm different from what I used to be. I felt more invigorated, felt the steady stream of something potent in my veins, and the presence of something else inside me. Maybe the 'presence' sensed that I was thinking of it, it immediately stirred in response.
The familiarity hit me on the face and there was only one thought in my mind. It was my anima. The thing that wasn't actively responding before was happily greeting me, or that's how it felt. It was happy that I noticed it so it introduced itself to me.
Opening my palms, a blue wisp flickered. It was so tiny, as big as an acorn, and disappeared quickly. But it was there. I saw it! That anima that I couldn't talk to can be now manifested into a blue wisp. Amazing.
Perhaps, Harry saw it too but because I told them that I need a moment for myself, he held back whatever he was going to say. I could feel his excitement though. He's literally trembling beside my bed…
My eyes widened and I tried again, for the second time, wanting to see it longer.
'Hey.'
My anima responded. I felt something condensing on my palm and the blue wisp appeared again, flickering to a strong bluish-white color then to an almost transparent one. It stayed for a couple of seconds before disappearing again but I was already happy with the result.
With more practice, I'm sure I could manifest my anima with more confidence in the future. With a stronger presence and a more solid appearance. Just like Lukas…
His anima sounds cool even though I haven't seen it with my own eyes. But I do know that it is like a serpent made of black flames.
Afterward, the air tingled. I could feel it. My mana was surging out of me like crazy. Like water ebbing out of a lake and it made me flustered. Heck, I could sense my magic now which reminded me of both Janus and Lukas' words to me back then.
They did tell me a lot of times that I'm leaking mana and oh boy, I understand what they mean now. I immediately tried to suppress it and though I succeeded, some still escaped anyway.
But hey, this is progress!
"This…!"
Harry seemed to not be able to keep his silence anymore and let out a noise. He instantly shut his mouth but the excitement in his eyes didn't dwindle, it flourished.
Looks like there is one more fanatic in magic here…
---**
After I woke up from the ten-day coma, father, brother, Kai, and Lost-- the four of them, had rushed back to see me. Despite their jobs, duties, and training, they all made it home for me. It was such a wonderful feeling, you know. The feeling of being loved… being cared for to the point that they would gladly face punishments and abandon whatever they are doing for my sake.
I cried when my dad hugged me. I could feel his love from that hug alone and even without expressing them in words, I understood what he's saying with just actions. The hug and the gentle kiss on my hair incited so many emotions from me. They all came at once, poked my heart with a million needles, trampled it on the ground, stomped on it at the same time, and danced around its squashed pitiful form.
Nathan came soon after and snatched me off of my dad's hold to smother me as well. Despite the rough start, his hug was gentle and warm. Tight enough to let me breathe and smell the sun in his uniform. He didn't say anything too and it was sufficient. I know how turbulent he feels. I could feel it from how his body trembles. My brother has been a softie ever since. Even I, know that much.
Kai also came home and it was the first time I've seen him ever since he went to the palace and trained. He's still young but he was already strong. He grew stronger than the last time we met and he even towered over me now.
I probably cried more than I did in my entire life that day. The nostalgia, the relief, and my hidden trauma from the ambush, I let them all out. Even the depression I felt the moment I opened my eyes made me bawl like a child. And although everyone I love is here, the sadness in my heart wasn't completely erased. It's like this body is mourning for someone else.
My mother.
I could remember bits and pieces from all the dreams I had, and those fragments made me realize a lot of things. Though the last dream was still vague, the feelings it gave me are clear as day.
Sure enough, Helen also has magic powers, and so is this body. Which brought me to a question: who is Helen D'Angelo? Why is she able to use magic? Is she really the person she claims to be?
These questions motivated me to seek the answers. I had looked for her information before but they were all either incomplete or vague. And what place is the best to gather the information that isn't accessible and has all the things you need?