Chapter 4: 4

—Since then, the child… Sieghart has grown up so fast that I have shifted his main source of nutrition from milk to baby food.

It will be some time before he is grown, but my burden has decreased considerably.

This means that I now have more time for myself, which is a good thing.

As for the milk, I could keep it fresh and preserved through a magic tool that I myself had blueprinted, so it was superfluous.

When I suggested it to my husband, his eyes widened, and rightly so.

This magic tool is something I will create a decade from now.

Today, it is a technology that is too early, or no one even had the idea.

I thought I might as well do that as well, because food storage will start growing in about ten years from now. but there was not enough time for that, and I felt like I had to do what I needed first for the time being.

This kind of behavior of mine may seem strange from the side.

I told my husband that I would take care of Sieghart myself, but he might think that it is contradictory for me to try to secure some time for myself.

I want to be with Sieghardt as much as possible, but there are other things I have to do.

It means that I will not repeat what happened in my previous life.

In the first place, I believe that it is never a sin for a mother to leave things to others.

Even the milk preservation machine I built was based on such a thought.

Come to think of it, that magical tool was one of the things I did in my previous life that was appreciated by many people.

Basically, I spent a lot of my time doing evil things, using my powers, and schemes. but I also did a lot of things that only made me look like a good person as the act itself to gain popularity among the people and other nobles.

That was one of them.

This time… it is not to say that I won’t do the former at all.

I know very well that sometimes there is a necessary evil, even if it is to do good.

Those who do not… who try to do only what is just are beautiful and dazzling, but most of them die along the way.

It may be nice to say that they have died for justice, but… I would rather be pragmatic than honorable after my death.

I will do what needs to be done.

With certainty. For that reason, I will not regret it, even if these hands are stained with evil once again…

I know that this is what caused me to make mistakes in my previous life, so I want to keep a good balance between the two.

In other words, there will be times when I have no choice but to use some dirty means, and there will be times when I act in a gray area. But I will not do these acts with the intention of harming this country or the like.

That’s why I think this time I’m more likely to focus on the latter… doing good things for the world and for people.

For what, of course, I should say, not to be killed by Lily.

Or should I say, not let Lily kill me.

I made Lily do the thing I most didn’t want to do, which was to kill her mother.

I should not repeat that…

And for that I needed my time no matter what.

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Because there is a lot of work to be done.

First, what would I have to do to prevent Lily from killing me in the first place…

I will have to be strong, I think.

Lily will be strong.

And not just that kind of strong.

Perhaps, at that time, Lily was the strongest magician in the Istward Kingdom.

The only reason she was not the head court magician was because of her age (not even 20) and her lack of experience in the duties of a court magician.

It is not a simple job that one can become a court magician if one is strong enough.

A magician with the clerical skills to analyze and solve problems involving magic and witchcraft in the country would be ranked higher than a magician with the power to lightly reap an army of 10,000 men.

That is how it is.

In that sense… Lily was still inexperienced.

But even so, there was no doubt that she was strong… and there was absolutely no chance of me being able to win at that time in a fair fight.

It may sound like boasting, but even so, I was a reasonably high-ranking magician at the time.

I could have served as a court magician if I wanted to.

His Majesty the King would never have called the Duchess to serve as a court magician, but he did ask me several times, jokingly, if I wanted to try it.

I thought it would be interesting to have a mother and daughter as court magicians.

But even I couldn’t match Lily’s power at that time.

This alone should give you an idea of the sheer power of her abilities.

Incidentally, I was a reasonably powerful magician partly because I had originally graduated from the Academy of Magic with good grades. but also because I studied again after the birth of Lily, a child who would become a court magician in the future.

Before Lily was born, my skills as a magician were, at best, only honor student for a magician who had just graduated from the Academy of Magic.

However, the ability of magic is not limited by age, or rather, it rises the more you practice.

The extent of the increase depends on your talent, and if you have little or no magic power to begin with, it is very difficult to become strong, but in my case, I had no problems with either of these.

I didn’t have the same talent as Lily, but if I was willing to die to learn for the sake of my children, I could make it to court magician class.

But this time… that wouldn’t be enough.

At the very least, I need to be good enough to face the Lily of that time and not die from a single blow.

Fortunately, there is plenty of time.

Thirty years.

If I spend 30 years… I think I can manage to get to that point.

That’s why I decided to start by improving my own skills as a magician.

That’s why I set aside the time to do that.

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