Chapter 16: 16

Xiao Ying was silent for a moment, watching Mo Heng leave before he said, “It’s okay, there’s nothing to really like or dislike. Let’s go inside and talk first, I have an offer for all of you.”

Xia Qifan curled his lips, “Just say it, don’t spend so much time acting serious.”

Ren Yue agreed, “If you have something to tell us, hurry up and do so, if we talk in circles, everyone’s time will be wasted.”

Zi Bo looked on, not saying anything but nodding in agreement.

Smiling at their responses, Xiao Ying looked at the three of them seriously, “I want you three to become my followers. Come and work with me after graduation. I need you.”

Surprised by his words, the three didn’t react for a while, Xia Qifan returning to his senses first, “That’s natural. My father has been your family’s doctor for so long; it’s always been my future to serve you just as he did your father. This is exactly what I want.”

Ren Yue didn’t decide so quickly but eventually replied, “I am also willing; my older brothers will be able to take care of the family business without me. Following you is a much better plan for my future!”

Xiao Ying turned to Zi Bo, the only one left, as he grinned, “Haha, of course I will stay by your side stupid, I had never planned to do anything else!”

Satisfied with these responses, Xiao Ying showed a rare gentle face to his friends; usually, only Mo Jingxuan had the pleasure of seeing this reaction, “Very good. Then, please give me more advice in the future.”

Hooking Xiao Ying’s neck, Xia Qifan happily exclaimed, “Let’s go! Let’s go! We need to celebrate this decision with dinner!”

Tightening his hold on the shadow he had not let go of after the sudden attack earlier, Xiao Ying politely refused, “Instead–”

Mo Jingxuan quickly held his mouth, preventing him from refusing as he squeezed his hand. He didn’t want Xiao Ying to worry because of his actions; these people were important to him, and it would be good for Xiao Ying to go out for fun now and then.

“If it’s not convenient, we can always go another day” Zi Bo, who was adept at perceiving words and body language, began to intervene.

Xiao Ying changed his words, deciding to talk to Mo Jingxuan later that night instead and investigate that Mo Heng, “No, it’s fine. You guys pick somewhere to go first, dinner will be on me.”

The four of them ate their meals happily, and their futures linked together tighter than before. Fate was starting to turn.

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Mo Heng headed straight to the third-year single dormitory area after leaving the senior-year dormitory area and “coincidentally met” Xiao Yixiu.

“Hello, Senior Yixiu!” Mo Heng smiled and blocked the path of the young man in front of him.

Frowning, Xiao Yixiu looked at the unfamiliar man before him, “Who are you?”

“Freshman, Mo Heng.” He reached out his hand to greet him, “I watched your debate competition and it was very exciting! I’ve always wanted to meet you but have never had the chance before.”

Looking at the hand outstretched towards him without moving to acknowledge it, Xiao Yixiu was cold, “Which Mo family are you from?”

Mo Heng withdrew his hand without caring and replied, “I come from the bigger Mo family.”

Hearing this, the attitude of Xiao Yixiu switched immediately, “Hahaha, nice to meet you Junior Mo.” He reached forward to hold Mo Heng’s hand as compensation for his previous actions, “I’ve long wanted to meet the famous young master of the Mo family. Since we’ve met by fate today, let’s put aside any past grievances and just be two young students! Do you want to have a drink with me?”

Agreeing, Mo Heng’s face lightened, “It would be my pleasure.”

After three rounds of drinks, Mo heng shook the wine glass in his hands and seemed to unintentionally say, “Your brother, Xiao Ying—”

“Don’t mention his name in front of me,” Xiao Yixiu cut him off with a harsh face.

Mo Heng raised his eyebrows, “Oh? I know you two don’t have much contact at school, but I thought your relationship was fairly good considering your backgrounds.”

He sneered as he responded, “He’s the bastard picked up from outside, he is not qualified to be my brother.”

Mo Heng played with the glass in his hand as he thought quietly. His expression didn’t show the regret he was currently feeling, “Is that so….” It seems he had started this out incorrectly; he hadn’t expected the relationship between the brothers to be so bad.

“Don’t mention him.” Xiao Yixiu waved his hands impatiently. “Drink, drink.” He patted Mo Heng’s shoulders and raised his glass, “We need to support each other, don’t you think so?”

Mo Heng raised his glass to touch the other with a kind face, but his heart was contemptuous. Wanting to put himself into his camp so easily, how dare he think that he, Mo Heng, was such an easy target?

The two chatted happily on the surface and became verbal friends, but as good an attitude Xiao Yixiu held towards him, Mo Heng felt the opposite towards him. After understanding the bad relationship between Xiao Ying and Xiao Yixiu, he had decided to throw away this card and find another to hold closer.

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Around this time, Xiao Ying and his friends had returned to their individual dorms, and Mo Jingxuan was thinking of excuses for his behavior earlier.

“Who is he?” Xiao Ying asked as soon as he shut the door behind him.

“Baby?” Mo Jingxuan refused to involve Xiao Ying in his matters, pretending to not understand who Xiao Ying was referring to.

Seeing that Mo JIngxuan was still hiding it, Xiao Ying became even more emotional, “I asked you who he is!! Who is he?! Who is he, to make eyou care about him so much?!”

“We agreed before, that baby would give me time.” Stopping to organize his words, “He is irrelevant to you, you don’t need to care so much.”

Xiao Ying’s eyes were full of bitterness as he grasped Mo Jingxuan’s shoulders, “Give you time? From when I was six to twenty one, I have not questioned you once. Is this not long enough? Or do you truly just not care about my worries?”

Anxiously hugging Xiao Ying, Mo Jingxuan couldn’t help but feel disappointed in himself. How could he cause so much pain to his baby in this life too? “Baby, baby, baby….” Besides this one word, he really didn’t know what else to say. For a moment, he really wanted to say everything, wanted to explain why he was so scared of what would happen in the future, but he couldn’t. How could he bear to tell Xiao Ying about such a past after growing up with him and watching him live such a happy life this time? He didn’t have the heart to ruin him again.”

Xiao Ying’s expression became darker as Mo Jigxuan called his name, clenching his hands with his short nails digging into his palms, “Don’t let me see you care about others, I will destroy you, and then myself.” Only in this way will you never be able to run away again, and I will be able to keep you without worry of not being able to catch you back anymore.

Eyes widening in shock, Mo Jingxuan was full of disbelief, struggling to convince himself that this was just a nightmare; it wasn’t real. Since when did this child start thinking like this? How could he still grow to be the same, even after all that he had done to change it…

But no matter how Mo Jingxuan strove to brainwash himself, Xiao Ying was still in front of him, reminding him that he was truly awake. Xiao Ying relaxed his hands and grabbed Mo Jingxuan into his arms, refusing any defiance with his strength.

Mo Jingxuan’s black form finally had a hint of colour, his eyes turning red as the shock he felt turned to anger, “Why?” He lay loosely in Xiao Ying’s arms, “Everything was going so well…why did you have to do this? Why?! I worked so hard, things were finally starting to change….!” The sadness he was repressing could be heard underlying the volume he forced out.

“Why?” Xiao Ying parroted him, “Why? Why? Why?”

Sensing something unnatural with Xiao Ying’s response, Mo Jingxuan woke from his emotions and looked up at Xiao Ying’s distorted expression. The unease in his heart pounded as the worry rose; his baby didn’t look like himself anymore. He looked like the Xiao Ying of the past, the Xiao Ying who had gone mad after his death. “Baby! Baby! What’s wrong with you, don’t scare me!!”

Xiao Ying stared at Mo Jingxuan, his possessive eyes reminiscent of a wolf’s before its favourite food. As long as MoJingxuan made a move, he would pounce and devour him without hesitation.

“Because I fell in love with you,my own shadow, that’s why!” He answered his own question, finally voicing words he had never before had the courage to even mouth. Yes, this was all because of love, it wasn’t bad, it was love….

“Hahahahahahaha…..” Mo Jingxuan laughed and shook his head, “No, this isn’t right. I still hurt you; nothing changed at all! Hehehe, why’d I even try?” It would be so nice to be able to cry, but in this form, the most he could do to vent his sorrow was laugh, a laugh that caught in his throat synonymous to sobs.

Powerlessly tilting his black body back, “You fell in love with your shadow this time? Even when I no longer exist, I can’t let you go! What’s the meaning of all the work I did this far, then? Should I just exist to guide you into the abyss? I would rather disappear…..” Mo Jingxuan was in despair and didn’t notice the changes happening as he wished for things to stop. Slowly rising through his body, the black whisps that made up his form were beginning to glow silver. Light spots appeared on top of him, and the crystalline sparkles let him dissipate slowly.

“Xuan? Xuan? Don’t—don’t—don’t….” With trembling hands, Xiao Ying held Mo Jingxuan closer to himself, trying to collect him even as he disappeared. “Xuan, I was wrong! Don’t scare me like this, you can’t leave me! You can’t!” The young man looked like a child at this moment, his eyes full of panic and fear. Tears were pouring down his face as he apologized, screaming in refusal as he did his best to deny the truth he saw.

Mo Jingxuan looked down at his body and lovingly raised a hand to wipe away the tears from Xiao Ying’s cheeks, “In my life, the person I don’t want to hurt the most is you.” This might be the best solution for Xiao Ying; before another mistake is made, it is better to help him let go. Perhaps with the removal of him from his life, everything that had been distorted would be restored. “Promise me you’ll live a happy life….” Mo Jingxuan vanished completely once he’d murmured those few words.

Xiao Ying looked at his hands, never having felt so helpless before, and after a moment of utter silence, got up from his position on the ground to search the room crazily, “I know you’re still here, Xuan! Are you blaming me for falling in love with you right now? Hmm?” Not waiting for a response, Xiao Ying headed to the balcony, drawing the curtains and turning off the lights. His shadow appeared before him on the ground, no longer illusory once the artificial light had stopped scattering it. He knelt down, tracing its outline on the floor, “Come on, don’t you want to come out and talk to me? Don’t be so stubborn, Xuan, I love you, but if you don’t want me to, I can pretend I never told you! We can go back to normal, I promise!”

A night passed as Xiao Ying stayed on the ground, stroking his shadow, begging Xuan to forgive him and return. But the shadow never responded, so Xiao Ying never stopped.

His friends could not contact him after their night of drinking, and the abnormal silence of their responsible friend urged them to come visit. After knocking on the door beckoned no response, they broke in in a hurry, anxious that something might have happened that he couldn’t reply. Once they came inside, they saw their proud friend kneeling humbly on the ground, his face twisted in pain as he cried.

The three quickly helped him up, pestering him with questions in their concern, “Xiao Ying what are you doing? What happened to make you like this?”

There was no better way to describe Xiao Ying now than as a person whose soul had left their body. He sat emptily on the sofa they helped him to, neither speaking nor moving as he stared at the shadow cast in front of him.

No form of communication was getting through to him, and the three were as confused as when they found him, even after hours had passed. Worried that something was seriously wrong, they notified Xiao Yao, who came to take his son home.

Days passed, and Xiao Ying never gave up, talking to his shadow ceaselessly, not stopping to eat or drink as he shut himself up in his room. He eventually passed out, and Xiao Yao took the chance to hook him to a nutrient solution and put him to bed.

After waking up, Xiao Ying no longer tried to talk to his shadow, letting Xiao Yao breathe a sigh of relief. He had been worried that if things went on like this much longer, he would need a therapist not only for his son but for himself as well.

But after resting for a day, Xiao Ying was even more extreme, beginning to destroy everything around him. The dosage of sleeping pills needed to make him rest increased drastically, and there was no end in sight to his madness. This was still handlable, though, to Xiao Yao; his son was just venting all the stress he had had throughout his life. After being such a cute, well-behaved child, he could understand needing an outlet for the build-up now that he had grown older.

However, Xiao Ying didn’t stop at throwing things; he began to cut himself. The sharp, burning pain brought by the scars he gave himself seemed to wake him up; how nice would it be if he could control Xuan as well as he could control this?

It was here that Xiao Yao realized the seriousness of the matter, anxiously hiring psychiatrists and hypnotists, trying to find what had caused his son to go so far.

 

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