Chapter 10: 10

Chapter 10: You Mean… That Now… You Like Me?

Su Jian woke up the next morning and washed up before he went to the living room to wait obediently.

After a while, An Yize naturally brought breakfast back after his morning run.

Su Jian, who was bored stiff, turned on the TV after he finished eating.  Flicking through several channels, he didn’t see anything that caught his interest until he got to the sports channel. It just so happened that a soccer match was being broadcasted.

As Su Jian was bored, he watched with much interest, even if it wasn’t live. After seeing his favorite player score a goal, Su Jian couldn’t help but to excitedly slap the couch. “Beautiful! Balotelli did well!”

An Yize was about to go to the study, but hearing Su Jian’s voice, he couldn’t help himself from coming over to stare at the TV, “You like to watch soccer?”

“Of course I like it—” Su Jian had just finished speaking when he suddenly paused for a moment. Fuck! He almost forgot that he was currently a girl! An allegedly formerly sweet-tempered and ladylike girl who was barely twenty-one years old! What did his almost-girlfriend say before? — How could a girl like such a savage sport like soccer? Even though Su Jian didn’t agree with her statement, the probability of a cute and pretty girl such as female Su liking soccer wasn’t very high! Oh, great! Now how was he going to smooth things over so that An Yize wouldn’t be suspicious?

At this critical point, Su Jian had a mental lapse: “I meant that I like those hot soccer players!”

“Oh?” An Yize asked, “Then, who do you like the most?”

Su Jian didn’t even hesitate and answered, “Definitely Balotelli!”

An Yize was silent for a moment, then said, “So this is what your ideal man looks like?”

Su Jian realized that he just said that he liked soccer because he liked looking at hot guys. He glanced at his idol who had a face similar to an orangutan on the TV screen and was speechless for some time.

Contrary to his expectations, he heard An Yize say, “Balotelli performed well at The World Cup.”

Su Jian’s eyes lit up, “You like him too?”

An Yize smiled faintly, “I like his soccer skills better.”

Su Jian thought: So An Yize isn’t simply just a serious poker-faced guy. Basically, this guy is a supreme king of sarcasm.

However, when Su Jian thought about how An Yize admired his idol as well, Su Jian felt An Yize was a little more easier on the eyes.

Thus, Su Jian generously thumped his chest, “I’m making lunch!”

An Yize hesitated, “But your leg…”

Su Jian: “No problem. Isn’t there a stool?”

An Yize wanted to say something but stopped himself.

Su Jian boldly announced, “It’s set!”

   ………

At lunchtime, Su Jian cheerfully ran to the study and called An Yize.

Like last time, An Yize was reading a foreign book.

Su Jian moved closer, “Reading another French book?”

An Yize shut the book, “It’s Spanish.”

Su Jian was shamed into anger, “…How many languages do you speak?”

An Yize: “Chinese, English, French, Spanish, and a few phrases in Japanese.”

Su Jian: “……”

But one can lose a little yet still be in the running. Thus, Su Jian thought for a bit, curled his lip, and said, “Is knowing five languages that amazing? I also know five!”

An Yize looked at him in surprise.

Su Jian proudly boasted, “I know English, Mandarin, Tianjin dialect, Dongbei dialect, and, of course, a little Japanese!” Whatever! Words like “yamete”, “hayaku”, “kimochi” are absolutely no problem![1]

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An Yize: “……”

On the way from the study to the dining room, An Yize suddenly asked, “You speak both Tianjin and Dongbei dialects?”

Su Jian instantly broke out in a cold sweat. Fuck! This time I’ve spilled the beans! He vaguely recalled that Su-girly seemed to be a girl from Jiangnan.

Thoughts spun quickly in his mind. Su Jian brazenly retorted, “What? It’s strange? Everyone in the country knows Tianjin and Dongbei dialects, alright?”

“Oh?”

Su Jian immediately started to copy Tianjin quick-chant, “This is how you clap the clapper, ah. We’ll not praise anything else. Let me praise the traditional delicacy, goubuli buns! The goubuli bun! What is so good about it? It has a thin wrapper crammed full of stuffing! 18 creases! Just like a flower!”[2]

Next, in Xiaoshenyang’s signature tone, “Don’t just look at my young age, I’m enlightened. Life is short. Sometimes it’s just like Shenyang. You close your eyes, then open them, and a day has passed. Heng~ They close, but don’t open, and a lifetime has passed, heng~”

An Yize: “……”

Su Jian looked up, “How was it?”

An Yize: “…You’re really talented.”

Su Jian immediately relaxed, “Come! Let’s eat!”

   ………

An Yize was dumbstruck again after seeing the food on the dining table.

Kung Pao chicken, beef with green peppers, tofu with crab roe, winter melon and meatball soup. Even if these three dishes and soup were just simple home cooking, the color and fragrance were completely alluring and incited hunger.

An Yize was surprised, “You made all this?”

“Of course!” Su Jian said proudly, “How is it?”

An Yize answered matter-of-factly, “Looks good.”

Su Jian hurriedly handed him the chopsticks and excitedly ladled some soup for him. “Hurry and try it!”

An Yize tasted a little of everything. When he looked up, he locked eyes with a pair of eagerly expectant, sparkling eyes. He smiled faintly and said, “It also tastes great.”

Su Jian was very pleased. He beamed as he sat down and thought: An Yize. Ah! An Yize. I’m bound to be better than you at something!

As it turned out, Su Jian’s father was a good cook. Su Jian gradually absorbed the family tradition. From a young age, he learned how to cook. After graduation and starting work, he lived away from home and didn’t have a girlfriend so his cooking got better. Under the pressure of a cruel life, he went from being a loser nerd to a loser nerd who was a good cook.

Su Jian pretended to carelessly ask, “How was my cooking before?”

An Yize: “Your cooking was good before.” He paused, “But now it’s better.”

Su Jian revealed a smile. Inside, he was bursting with joy.

Then, he trembled in fear. This person has amnesia, yet her cooking has improved. It doesn’t really make sense! I’ve got to find an excuse so this makes sense!

Su Jian quickly found an excuse, “Hehe. It’s because I didn’t like you that much before. Because of that, my cooking wasn’t as good!” You were my damned love rival before. How could I cook for you? Yesterday, you only got instant noodles, but today however,  you had good taste to like the same idol as me. Because of that, I find you more tolerable! Hmph!

An Yize stared blankly then slowly said, “You mean… that now… you like me?”

Su Jian had just spooned a mouthful of soup into his mouth. When he heard what was said, he sprayed it all out with a “puu” sound.

An Yize whose rice bowl and face were soaked with the spray: “……”

Footnotes:

[1]These Japanese words are common in Japanese adult videos. Yamete means stop. Hayaku means faster. Kimochi means ‘it feels good’.

[2]Quick-chant refers to a comical clapper rap-like Chinese monologue performance. Example: https://youtu.be/oQuuPjZW3sc

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