I feel miserable. Like I have let down everybody. I feel that something was going wrong in our relationship. I was growing more and more distant from Jun. I was making excuses to avoid meeting him! I felt horrible, a-and I really didnt want to do thatI wanted to talk to Jun, but I dont know what and how? We were in a relationship, so how was I supposed to tell him that I preferred my time without him? I didnt know how to explain that. I didnt know why I was feeling that way. Everything was fine when we were children
B-But the more possessive he became after we started dating, the more uncomfortable I got. He wanted to be everywhere with me but many times, I didnt share those sentiments, and I felt pathetic! She wiped her eyes. I was failing as his girlfriend, and I didnt want to she shook hard.
Siying hugged his sister and whispered, Ssh. Shui, its okay. Just dont cry
She teared up more, feeling the warmth of her brother. I-I d-didnt know how to say these things. Ever since I remember, I had always been with Jun. I loved playing with him. I loved spending time with him. He always said that he would marry me one dayand I was so happy because that made everyone happy around me. Even though Dad looked like he wasnt, I knew deep in his heart, he liked and accepted Jun. I also thought I wanted to marry him, but I didnt know why things started to changeand it was frustrating to handle these feelings..
Shui took a deep breath. When Jun broke up with me, it was sudden and confusing. I was afraid that this was not how it was supposed to be! Butbut somewhere in my heart, I felt that maybe this was for the best. But it was hard telling you all. Bro and sis Nuo had just started dating. I was afraid this would put a stress on their relationship. And then Grandma got sickShe was so happy seeing that Jun bought a ring for me that neither he nor I could come out with it.
And then there is Jin
It was very faint, but the feelings for him were beginning to take root in her heart. She was forced to face them when Jun tore it out in the open on New Years Eve. Yet, Shui kept ignoring those feelings. But she had no place to hide when she saw Jin and Ai dancing that night and now today too when Jin said he liked Ai.
That shook her to her core. He said that in front of the whole family which meant that there must be some truth to it perhaps. But that truth brought only pain to her heart. Now she knew why.
I like Jin.
She realized this on the same day when Jin already rejected her unknowingly. She accepted her feelings only to know that Jin wasnt interested in her but Ai. Even though he might not be able to do anything because Jun and Ai were in a relationship now. But it didnt mean that the feelings wouldnt be there.
Shuis fingers trembled as she curled them into her palm. Its all my fault she broke down, I couldnt accept Jun and his love, and I let him down. I let down our familiesIt would have been better if we had remained as just friends! Then I wouldnt have made everyone unhappy like this!
She ran towards her room, not wishing to talk about this anymore.
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Shui! Siying exclaimed and he wanted to chase after her, but he felt anxious and helpless. He said, I will try talking to her
Dont worry, and with that, he left to follow her.
Xinyi and Zhiyuan didnt stop them either. Instead, Shuis confrontation left a deep question in their minds.
Zhiyuan she trembled, tears threatening to spill out of her eyes, A-all this timeWere we unknowingly putting pressure on Shui?
Zhiyuan clenched his fists, blaming and cursing himself.
Jun was a good and sincere child. I felt so happy to know that Shui would marry him and have a good family in the future. But did our families excitement to see them together form expectations within her? Was she with Jun because she was just following what we wanted? Maybemaybe she always wanted Jun just as her friend, but everybodys insistence made her feel as if she really loved him
Zhiyuan shut his eyes. You are right, Xinyi. Its all our fault. We as adults and parents have failed. How he gritted his teeth, How couldnt we see this? Friendship and love are two very different feelings, but we blurred that difference for her. She was right. Even though I might complain about Jun, I really wanted to see them together because I knew nobody could love Shui as much as him. I wanted Shui to be happy, and II thought her happiness would be in him. But reallyI didnt even once ask what she wanted. Iwhy did I assume that Shui will love Jun the same way he did?
He trembled, and he banged his fist on the table.
Zhiyuan, stop! Hurting yourself is not the solution! She wiped her eyes and held his hand, rubbing over the slight redness.
Then what should I do? How could we make such a mistake? Just because Jun liked Shui didnt mean that Shui had to like him back. But we failed to understand it! We unnecessarily hurt our children when we could have avoided all of it. Jun, Shuiwe just made everything difficult for them. She just said she would rather be Juns friend. Those were her true feelings always. But we pushed her with our expectations and made her feel that she will let everyone down. How can I force my daughter into a corner like that, Xinyi?
I am her father for Gods sake! How did it happen that I am the reason behind her tears right now? Why did we have to fail like that, Xinyi?
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