The wind blew, fluttering Guiyings hair and rustling the leaves of the trees. The sunlight was mild and tepid. Though the weather was pleasant, she sensed a storm brewing in her heart, carrying a lot of questions spinning in it.
What is this man talking about? He wants to be my friend? But he is already friends with that idiot.
I dont understand where this is going, she honestly expressed her confusion.
Zixin said, I want to be your friend. Can I?
You are friends with Guiying.
But not you.'
She blinked. Me? Am I not Guiying?
He shook his head. You two share the same body and consciousness. But as personalities, you two are different. You are not Guiying, and Guiying is not you. She has a different mind and beliefs of her own, and you hold different values to be important. Its unfair to treat you the same as her.
Who cares? People will think you are crazy.
Zixin stared straight into her eyes. I am not here to please the society. Guiying likes writing stories, but you dont. You like smoking cigarettes, but she doesnt. She is a little shy, but you are bold. She holds a soft spot in her heart for Cai Lingyun despite all his atrocities against her while you desire nothing other than seeing him getting punished. Your likes, choices, hopes and fears might not necessarily align with Guiyings because your existence is not the same as hers. Naturally, I dont want to treat you like I would treat Guiying or vice versa. You two are separate beings, and thats how you two should be treated.
Guiying watched his gaze intently while trying to part her lips to speak. But she couldnt make a sound. She was trying to process the information that Zixin bombarded her with.
It was just like that phone call of that evening.
Acknowledgement. Recognition.
Somebody was seeing her as a separate entity for the first time. Zixin was here to mock her but to extend his hand of friendship towards her.
Why her hands trembled with cold despite the sunny atmosphere. Why are you going so far? You have no reason to get involved in this mess.
Zixins confusion looked real. What mess?
The mess of two existences in one body! It doesnt make any sense! You are not supposed to be asking to be friends with me!
Then?
She was left stunned. Are you an idiot!? A normal person would want to take me to a therapist. You know, do all sorts of things to drive me away? To help Guiying heal? Its supposed to be scary!
Zixin pursed his lips. Please forgive my incompetence, but I am not getting your point.
This mans brain seems to have been hit too hard with that accident!
Why is it scary? Guiying is a nice woman and so are you. Your and her tastes are different, but you two have the same pure heart. Doesnt everybody want to be friends with such people?
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She wanted to vehemently protest against his logic, but she couldnt find the right words to do so.
You
Yes?
Are an idiot.
Zixins expression fell. Apologies that you have to see such an embarrassing side of mine.
Guiying held her head to stop herself from fainting from dizziness. How can you not want Guiying to see a therapist?
Because it should be Guiying and your choice. I understand that in societal terms, this may not seem normal. But you appeared at a time to rescue Guiying when she needed it the most. You lended her the strength to fight against her violent brother and make her stand on her own feet. It was because of you that she led her life ahead with dignity and not some punching bag. After doing so much for her, the least you deserve is the freedom to choose whether you want to stay or leave. That choice shouldnt be dictated by a therapist.
Her tears fell. She had been trying her hardest to stop from giving in to her emotions, but now she couldnt. She couldnt help it.
This was the fear that she dealt with ever since she was born within Guiying. She wasnt that naive not to understand how the real world worked and in this world, there was space for only one person to exist at a time.
A person with more than one presence would be treated as abnormal, outcast and with disdain. As such, she knew there would come a day when Guiying might choose to get rid of her to live a normal life.
She felt afraid that she would cease to exist. Thats also why she was afraid to talk to Zixin when he told he knew about her. She thought he was here to advise Guiying to get treatment and become a normal person again. Or he would tell her to disappear.
And to listen to those words terrified her. She wished to see more of the world. She felt like meeting new people too. Though their childhood was traumatic, she was in search of a hope to see any goodness remaining in this world.
In essence, she wished she could freely live a life like Guiying did.
But she also knew that it was a wish which would never come true. Once Guiying would meet somebody more capable and loving to take care of her, once somebody truly worthy of Guiying would walk into her life, she would have no reason to exist anymore.
As she peered into Zixins bright, clear and sincere eyes
I think that day is not far away
Zixin panicked seeing her tears fall. He quickly took out his handkerchief and offered it to her. I am sorry if I upset you. I might be unknowingly insensitive to certain things regarding you and Guiying, so please do tell me if I hurt you.
Guiying hesitated but accepted his handkerchief. She wiped her tears and now, embarrassment set in. ThanksI am not used to this
He nodded. Once we become friends, you will get used to a lot of things.
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