As Pete and Karen speed down the 405 in Pete’s Tesla, Pete explains the plan to Karen. “We can get the cops alerted, get security alerted, they can start evacuating the park. Hell, there might not even be anyone there for him to shoot, besides a couple of churro vendors, but who gives a shit about them, right? And even if they don’t get everyone out of there, they’ll be on the lookout for this fucking asshole, and can just arrest him. Tesla, call 9-11.”
The Tesla speaks back to Pete “Calling 9-11.”
An operator picks up. “9-11, what’s your emergency?”
“Hello. You need to act quick, a shooter is on his way to Disneyland and is going to start killing people. In a mass shooting”
“Is this Peter Chang?”
“Yes… I— anyway, please get Disneyland evacuated. However you can. This is an-”
“Sir, calling 9-11 about a false emergency is a crime”
The line disconnects. “What the fuck was that? Tesla, call 9-11…. Anaheim.” After a few rings, a different operator picks up.
“9-11, what’s your emergency?”
“It’s—”
“Sir, I can see by your caller I.D. that you’ve been flagged as misusing this service. If you call this number under false pretenses again, you will be charged.”
“Using under false pretenses— what the fuck are you talking– I’m calling to warn you there’s going to be a mass shooting at Disneyland.”
There’s a long pause on the other end. “To prevent this line from being misused, we will be blocking your phone number. You will be fined, and depending on the circumstances, you may be required to make a court appearance.”
“Court appearance?” The line clicks and the Tesla makes a pleasant chime to mark the end of the call.
Peter turns to Karen. “What the fuck are they talking about? Did those assholes put me on a list or something?”
Karen pulls out her phone. “I’ll try calling from mine.” She dials and after a few moments an operator picks up.
“Sir you cannot keep calling on other phones. Your other number has been listed along with this one and will be blocked.” The line goes dead.
Karen and Peter separately call Disney security, Disney police, Downtown Disney security, Orange County, and Los Angeles police department, among several other out of state police departments. Not a single operator stays on the line for more than 20 seconds, with the exception of the South Carolina PD operator, who talks like he had molasses stuck in his throat. It turns out that Disney had given their names and identities to Disney and Anaheim P.D. and told them Karen and Pete were mentally ill stalkers and ex-employees who had been sending death threats to Disney executives. They were calling in false shootings as a sick prank in some distorted desire to get revenge.
Peter starts a hard conversation with Karen. “Listen, you don’t have to come any farther, but I gotta try to do something to stop this shit from happening. Or at least try to prevent a couple of people from being killed. I started this shit and every day that goes by without me doing anything to stop it, a part of my soul goes numb, rots, and dies, one piece at a time. And the money and the bullshit success that’s come from this doesn’t make up for it. It’s like the more shit I buy, the more of my soul comes off each time. I feel like I’m not even human anymore. I don’t even think I have any soul left to give up. Maybe a tiny grain of sand and it’s the only part of me trying to be good. So I gotta go all the way today. I can drop you off somewhere, like at a gas station. You can Uber home. I didn’t mean to get you involved in this.” Tears stream down Peter’s face. He wipes his nose with the back of his hand.
Karen says “No, I’m coming with you. We’ll go down together.”
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They pull into parking garage D at Disneyland and park in the Yellow Goofy zone. It’s a busy day but the structure is only about half way full. “So what do we do, just start telling people to get out of here?”
“Yeah, I think that’s what we’ll have to do.”
They run through the parking garage toward the park. They yell as they pass by park goers. “Everybody needs to evacuate!”
“A shooter is coming to the park.”
“We need to evacuate!”
People give them weird looks but keep moving. They seem more embarrassed than worried. Peter yells out, “Seriously, there is a shooter here! Do. Not. Enter the park. The streaming shooter is on his way.”
A heavyset tough guy cups his hands and yells towards Pete, “How do you know that? No one knows when that dude pops up.”
“I know because he told me.”
“You’re crazy bro.” The tough guy waves his hands dismissively and keeps walking towards the park. “Seriously” he adds in for good measure.
Peter and Karen run though the parking garage, yelling to anyone who will listen, to stop going toward the park. Only a few paranoid anxious looking couples listen to the message, but they’re just drops in a bucket compared to the mobs of people streaming out of the parking garage toward the tram that will take them into the park and the danger that looms within.
Peter and Karen run toward the tram, jump on and get out at Downtown Disney. They yell their message to whoever they see, but like in the parking garage, people either ignore them or look at them like they’re insane. Eventually, a cheerful, portly, bald white man approaches Peter and Karen as they scream at passersby. He has a Mickey Mouse shaped Sheriff’s badge on the front pocket of his cleanly pressed white uniform shirt. He’s accompanied by two other armed, more unfriendly looking deputies. “Can I help you folks?”
“Please, officer. There is going to be a shooting here. In the park. Very very soon. Today. You need to get everyone evacuated. Now.”
“Are you threatening me, son?”
“No! No— I’m being completely real with you. This is going to be a bloodbath.”
“Now, they told me there were going to be some pranksters here today, but they didn’t say the prank was going to be this grim. This just isn’t funny. It’s not something to joke about.”
“Of course not!,” Peter pants desperately. “This is no joke. He’s going to film the whole thing.”
“Gentleman, arrest this man” and, taking a look at Karen up and down, “Woman?” Karen nods bitterly. — “and throw them in the drunk tank. I’m not feeling very relaxed today and they’re getting very close to causing a disturbance here and scaring off park guests. I’m sure their YouTube channel or whatever they’re promoting with this little stunt will come bail them out soon. The thing that really gets under my skin though, is why do you people hate fun? Why would you want to bring such negativity to the happiest place on Earth? Does it bother you so much to see other people happy?”
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