Redo of a Romanceless Author’s Life Devoid of Love; Another Chance at Youth

Chapter 239: Chapter 238.


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Chapter 238. The Valentine’s Day School Dance: Dance Monkey. (2/4)

When I made it to the top of the stairs I went to the highest level of the bleachers and laid down on the concrete ledge on my back.

There were three levels of concrete ledges used for seating. 

I discreetly looked around and confirmed there weren’t any other students up here. However, I noticed at the opposite set of stairs there was a certain third teacher I recognized looking over the edge at the students down below.

My stomach turned as I experienced a bad case of PTSD. My... AP Biology teacher. Why was she here? I guess she was on lookout duty from above. Then… the person who’d likely operated the spotlight had also been her.

While I relived the horrors of AP Biology in my head, after the last mix finished, a new song started playing. 

Bubbly by Colbie Caillat 

Screw you, DJ! Are you making fun of me? Are you stupid! You’re actually stupid, right! I will end your entire career if I have to, Mr. DJ.

Suddenly, the song turned into a remix as it integrated Fallin For You also by Colbie Caillat.

I am not falling for you or her, you cursed DJ! Damn it, I’m not a tsundere!

These two had suddenly both turned into my mortal enemies. 

I get that the song choice was sheer coincidence, but I took it as a sign to be on high alert. As usual, the world was no doubt trying to pick another fight with me.

Though it was a Valentine’s Day school dance, the songs by themselves were initially a bit weird for people to dance to, but with the DJ’s personal touch, mixing the two together then letting the beat suddenly drop, it transformed into a banger you could dance to. I was convinced the DJ was secretly an alchemist after he shat out this chimera freak song. Though the lyrics were the same, the entire tone was completely different.

I had to admit though, it was actually pretty amazing what a DJ could do. He’d turned a song suitable for Valentine’s Day but not quite suitable for dancing a school dance into one that was.

While I internally marveled over the DJ’s talents, I heard a set of footsteps headed my way.

A new song, an upbeat DJ remix for Dance Monkey by Tones and I played right as I tilted my head to the side to look in the direction my AP Biology teacher had been.

“Boo.” As soon as I saw her, she said that, and I jumped to my feet instinctively with my guard up, startled by how close she’d gotten. She was on the same level as me on the bleachers, bent at her waist at a perpendicular angle parallel to the ground. 

She wore a tight-fitting half-buttoned-up white lab coat. Her deep green, shoulder-length hair hung down sideways as she stared at me expressionlessly. She’d always been an oddball teacher, but she still got along pretty well with students.

“Wow, I didn’t think you’d be that startled.” She mused to herself.

“Ms. Gene, can you please not do that! Your dyed green hair is scary with how messy it is. You look like a monster.” 

“Oh? You know my name?” 

I’d inadvertently called her by name out of habit. Her full name was Deena Gene. Some people joked and called her Ms. DNA or Ms. Gene-etics because she taught biology. 

She was one of the few teachers in high school I remembered the name of, specifically because she was the only weirdo teacher that dyed her hair green. It was hard to forget this awful teacher of mine. I shouldn’t know her right now though. We’ve never met or seen each other in school before. This was our first encounter this time around. My first encounter with her was originally in my second semester in my second year where she taught third-year biology.

“Well… I’ve heard the rumors of the weird green-haired monster of biology in this school.”

“What? Is that what those brats are calling me? Aren’t kids too rude these days?” Ms. Gene grumbled to herself.

“Forget that, why are you up here? You’re that pervy kid with the nasty glare from earlier, aren’t you?”

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“Uh… I’ve got a chronic illness. Being in crowded places with the music blasting so loud had a negative effect on my health. I’m not feeling very well.”

“Oh. I see. So the teacher downstairs let you up here for such a reason.”

“Yes.”

“For a kid with a chronic illness, you sure look pretty healthy to me. Especially when I consider how you were passionately making out with your girlfriend not too long ago.”

“I may look healthy, but that’s just because I’m doing my best to not let it show.”

“Hmm… if you say so. When you’re better, go back down there.”

“I will.”

She turned away, and with two short hops, she jumped down two levels back to the railing. With her out of the way, I was able to relax. I laid back down, shut my eyes, and listened to the music for about an hour.

I didn’t recognize all of them though. Among the ones I knew, there was, Lose Yourself by Eminem, and What Lovers Do by Maroon 5.

There were quite a few that were catchy so I searched them up online and saved them.

He’d actually played some remixes of nightcore versions of songs. Such as Wrap Me in Plastic by Chromance, Dead Girl by Au/Ra, and Angel with a Shotgun by The Cab.

After a full hour of songs, the DJ finally announced another set of slow songs.

When I heard that, I stood up, approached the railing, and looked over the edge. It was 2:10 PM right now. After these slow songs, it would probably be about 2:20 PM - 2:30 PM. Meaning the DJ would probably have one last set of slow songs.

I thought Rosa would be looking for me, but I was wrong. When I looked out over the railing I discovered Jass with Alicia directly below me. It looked like he was trying to get Alicia to slow dance with him yet again. But this time, Rosa, who was with Alicia, suddenly pulled her to her feet and dragged her to the center of the gymnasium.

Rosa wrapped her arms around a flustered Alicia who couldn’t keep up. From the look of things, Rosa had suddenly replaced me with Alicia for this round of slow songs.

The song they were currently slow dancing to was I'm Yours by Jason Mraz.

“I was going to ask whether you were going back down there to dance with your girlfriend but… haha… it sort of looks like you’ve been dumped.” Ms. Gene suddenly took a jab at me.

“I haven’t been dumped. They’re just really good friends.” 

“Is that how you’re coping with things? Were you so bad at kissing that your girlfriend lost interest in you?”

“Who knows? Wouldn’t she be the only one who’d know that? I doubt a pitiful unmarried teacher like you who was probably all alone on Valentine’s Day and is only good at biology has any way to grade someone’s ability to kiss.” 

Since she wanted to pick a war of words I was more than willing to oblige. I’d also always wanted to put her in her place for the hell I went through because of her stupid tests. Wasn’t this as good a time as any? My most hated and detested subject had and always will be biology. As a teacher who obviously loved biology, she was a natural enemy of mine as a man who loved math and physics.

“Hah! Who needs things like romance? It’s all just a bunch of chemical reactions leading to a biological response where the end result is coitus.”

“You watch too much Big Bang theory. The fact that you call it coitus rather than sex is more than enough proof you have no experience at all. How embarrassing, teach, could it be you’ve never even kissed a guy before?”

“So what if I haven’t? There’s nothing interesting about a kiss. Once you understand kissing for what it really is, it loses all the magic. Kissing simply causes a chemical reaction in your brain, including a burst of the hormone oxytocin. It's often referred to as the ‘love hormone,’ because it stirs up feelings of affection and attachment.”

“It’s just a lead up to sexual reproduction so one can spread their genes and have progeny. Whether you’re good at kissing or not has no effect on the end result though. That’s all it amounts to chemical reactions. Hmph! Love is a scam. Animals don’t need love to survive nature’s trials and tribulations. The fittest specimen is the one who survives in this world. Other animals reproduce just fine without rubbish like love.”

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