Chapter 303: Chapter 302.

Chapter 302. My Birthday: Training Course. (1/8)

After the three of us all received our learner’s permits we exited the building and walked through the parking lot on our way back to the car.

“Mr. Birthday Boy, why don’t you drive?” Irene asked in a playful tone.

“Me?”

“Does it look like there’s anyone else around with a birthday today?”

“Are you sure you want me to drive?”

“What’s wrong? Are you unconfident and afraid you’ll get in an accident?”

“Not at all.”

“Oh? If you’re so confident, why don’t you woo us girls with your driving skills then?” She smiled as she poked me in the gut.

“You just want to be driven around by someone else for a change, don’t you?”

“What~ come on~ don’t go exposing me like that~”

“Is there really a point in me driving though? I’d just be driving for only a block since the place we’re going is so close.”

“There is a point.”

“What is it?”

“I get a good laugh out of watching you nervously drive us around in a clumsy fashion. I want to see you miss the turnoff and get all panicky about it. I’m sure it’ll be cute.”

“Me? Miss the turn? That would never happen.” I raised one brow at her doubt in my ability to drive. I’ve got over two decades of experience driving, like hell I’d mess this up. It’s like riding a bicycle, you never forget how to ride it after you’ve learned it once.

“Oh~? Then how about… we have a little wager?” Her eyes closed halfway as she spoke those last three words low enough so only the two of us could hear. Rosa and Alicia weren’t beside us, they were walking at a slower pace together and lagging about two meters behind us.

“Sure. I don’t mind. What do I get if I win?”

Irene smiled impishly, leaned in close to my ear, and whispered, “If you win, tonight will feel really~ good for you. If I win, I get to do anything~ I want to you tonight.”

I came to a sudden stop… not because of her words, but because we’d arrived at the car.

“Hmm…”

“What’s wrong? Are you afraid of what I’ll do to you tonight if you lose? Not confident enough in your abilities?” Her words sounded more like a double innuendo to me. The implication was that I’d feel good if I won, but if I lost, she would go beyond just me feeling good.

“A cheap provocation, but I’ll win regardless.”

“So you accept?”

“Yeah, sure, I’ll accept your little wager.”

“Great, we should really clarify the bet you’ve just agreed to though so you don’t complain later when you lose. I win if you make it there just fine without missing the turnoff. You win if you miss the turnoff.”

“Huh? Wait, you’re mixing up the winning conditions.”

“No. When did I ever say that I was betting you’d miss the turnoff? I just said it’d be cute if you did then offered for us to have a wager over it. Not once did I ever say I bet you’d miss the turnoff~” She sounded pretty smug about it too.

“This is a scam.”

“Blame yourself for already accepting the wager before clarifying the win conditions. It’s your own fault for getting scammed. But it’s not like you can’t win, it’d just mean you have to intentionally miss the turnoff. If that happens though, I get to see your cute embarrassed face anyway~ It’s really a win-win situation for me. You’ll be in a position where you’re struggling to decide between winning the wager and your pride.”

“What are you two whispering about in secret?” Rosa asked when she reached the car with Alicia. Alicia also looked rather curious.

“Oh. It’s nothing much, I was just convincing the birthday boy to drive, that’s all.”

“Ran’s driving?” For some reason, Alicia’s eyes lit up when she heard that.

Was her reaction because of something stupid like being happy about the first time she’s being driven around somewhere in a car by her boyfriend?

“Uh… yeah… I am.” I received the keys from Irene as I confirmed it was true.

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Suddenly I felt strangely uncomfortable. I’d never actually driven girls around anywhere before. I always drove around everywhere alone in my car. Never were there ever any passengers with me.

Irene took the passenger seat while Rosa and Alicia took the back seat. Normally when Irene drove, Alicia would be in the passenger seat while Rosa and I sat in the back. The sudden change in seating got to me a lot more than I expected when I sat down in the driver’s seat.

I could see Rosa and Alicia in the rear-view mirror which was another thing I was unaccustomed to. It was a major distraction I hadn’t expected to pop up.

Before Irene could say anything, I slightly adjusted the rear and side-view mirrors so I could see the surroundings behind me better. 

“Hmm, I was planning to give you pointers, but you got the first step right.”

I adjusted the seat to a position I was comfortable with while I simultaneously pressed my foot down on the brake and turned the key in the ignition. Without waiting for Irene to say another word, I lowered the hand brake, shifted the car into reverse, shoulder checked both ways to ensure it was safe to back out, moved my foot to the gas pedal, then reversed out all in one fluid motion without hesitation.

Irene, who noticed the anomaly unconsciously exclaimed, “What the… hey, you’re supposed to look a bit more lost and inexperienced~ why are you acting like you have years of driving experience? You’re not going to tell me you’ve been driving since you were in your mother’s womb, are you?”

When I pictured a fetus on a miniature car driving around in a womb I couldn’t help but laugh, “Hahaha, what if I said that I was?”

“I’d believe it. Nobody driving for the first time does all that so quickly. There’s always second-guessing and fiddling about in uncertainty. Have you actually been driving someone’s car in secret to practice? That’s not good, you know.”

“I haven’t, this is really my first time driving a car.” In this lifetime.

“I don’t believe it’s your first time at all.” Irene was pouting, dissatisfied in the passenger seat, sulking over how she wasn’t able to tease me about my inexperienced driving skills. She might have been looking forward to teaching the inexperienced me how to drive.

“Hehehe, hey, maybe I’ll be too nervous to merge onto the road out of the parking lot properly.”

“Oh yeah. There’s that.” She perked up a bit when she heard me say that.

While at the exit of the parking lot, I checked to my left. When there was a gap in traffic, I made the right turn and merged onto the road seamlessly.

“Oh, sorry, it looks like I’m pretty good at merging into traffic as well.” I couldn’t help but want to tease her.

“Stop teasing meeee~” she complained cutely.

Though I was more conscious about driving with them in the car with me, it seemed it wasn’t enough to impede my decades of accumulated driving experience.

I picked up speed and locked the cruise control at sixty kilometers per hour. It was a habit of mine to drive using cruise control with my foot positioned over the brake rather than the gas. I’d typically make minor adjustments to the speed of the car with the buttons for adjusting the cruise control.

It was just easier for me that way. I was honestly just too lazy to keep my foot pressed down in one position on the gas constantly. If it was winter with icy roads I wouldn’t do that, but the snow had mostly melted away and the road wasn’t very wet. There were only small patches of dirty snow on the grass beside the sidewalks remaining now.

“This isn’t fun at alllll~ I wanted to teach you when you revealed how inexperienced you are at driving, but how am I supposed to do that when you’re already good at it?”

“Mother, shouldn’t we be relieved he’s good at it? If he wasn’t then wouldn’t we end up worried every day with him driving a motorcycle?”

“Hmmm, that’s true I guess… but still… I wanted to feel a sense of superiority even if it was just for a little bit. My disappointment is immense and my day is ruined.”

When she said that I nearly lost it and burst out into laughter. That could have been bad.

“Irene, can you please not make me laugh, it’s dangerous to distract the driver.”

“Ahhh~ Alicia, I got scolded~”

Strangely enough, I found this unexpected side of Irene cute.

“Oh no, I completely forgot to put the novice driver sign in the back window because I got distracted by your driving.”

“Oh yeah… there was that.”

Irene pulled out the novice driver sign from her purse and handed it back to Alicia who tucked it into the corner of the window.

It’s not that I’d really forgotten about it. It’s just that driving with that thing announcing you were a novice to the world was embarrassing. Sometimes when there was someone behind you who saw that sign, they’d intentionally change lanes and floor it above the speed limit to overtake you like you were some sort of plague.

Like screw you, I’m driving the speed limit, what more do you want from me you asshole! Stop breaking the law, you’re not cool for going five to ten kilometers per hour faster than me! You look dumb, okay?

Where’s a cop or radar light when you really need one?

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