Chapter 4: 4

Chapter 4

Translator: Yonnee

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We turned the corner into a noisy street, then we got out of the carriage. My brother held my hand tightly as we went towards the bookstore, and there, he handed me the book that I had been looking forward to all this time.

After that, we bought some grape-flavored candy, then we returned to the mansion.

Though it was of a small size perhaps to the point of obscurity amongst nobility, I prefer the atmosphere of our quaint little mansion.

“Where did you go?”

Because we went outside and just came back, our parents welcomed us home.

“Mom, Dad!”

Time flew by so fast that before you knew it, you’re already an adult. That’s why, before the time that I really had to behave like an adult, I acted my age as a child and always tried to run to my parents and hug them whenever I could. Honestly, I still felt awkward doing it, but I’m slowly getting better.

“Hoho, my daughter, aren’t you in an awfully good mood? Did David buy something for you?”

“Brother bought a book for me that I really, really want to read.”

“I see. Well done, Dei¹.”

Hearing our mother’s words, David turned to face us with an expression that was as thoughtful as ever, then he winked. Chuckling faintly, I walked side-by-side, in between our parents as we headed towards the dining hall.

“I heard that today’s beef stew is going to be very delicious. I saw a proud expression on Hans’ face for the first time in a while when he said so.”

“Uncle² Hans said that?”

“Yes. It’s a stew that our fastidious head chef approved.”

My family entered the small and old—but well taken care of—dining hall, where we soon chatted while eating our meal together.

It had already been ten years since I was assimilated into this harmonious daily life. There were times that it was still uncomfortable, but now, I lived my days completely in tune with them after bonding together.

This second life of mine was so ordinary and joyful. In this world, it was customary for women of aristocracy to be married off early once they’ve reached their coming-of-age, but all I wish for is to live with my family for as long as I possibly could.

Then, instead of a marriage of convenience, I also wish that I can date someone normally, fall in love together, and then marry.

In all honesty, I truly was still afraid of even just the word ‘marriage’ itself, but I was no longer haunted by the memory of my previous husband.

Perhaps this was because I had my family so close beside me.

 

* * *

 

“Good night, Mary.”

“Yes, Milady. Sweet dreams.”

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Mary had prepared my bed before she retired for the night. After lighting the small lamp, I pulled close the book we bought earlier and lay down on my stomach. I was so curious about the story that I couldn’t wait to read it.

The romance novel that was a big hit in the Stern Empire was, strangely enough, without a title. The author was a mystery, likewise their intent in writing the story, but it had gotten so popular in the capital that its renown was spread all throughout the empire.

After opening the smooth leather cover, I started reading from the first page.

One, two, more pages flipped by, but every time it happened, my brows knitted closer and closer together. The novel’s contents were so, very, strangely familiar…

Before I knew it, I wasn’t lying flat on my stomach anymore and was instead sitting with my knees on the bed. While staring blankly down at the book, I murmured under my breath.

“’After Traveling to Another Dimension, I Became the Main Character’…”

It was the title of the book I once read in my previous life.

“But how is this possible?”

When I first opened my eyes in this world, I purposefully made an effort not to recall the memories of my previous life. However, the moment I read the contents of a book that I read in the past, those memories flooded my mind so easily.

《 After Traveling to Another Dimension, I Became the Main Character 》 was a romance novel about a woman who was transported to another dimension. With her different outward appearance and with her knowledge of a different civilization on Earth, she soon became the female lead who captured the hearts of the male leads.

The novel’s charm was in the worldbuilding setup. In that new world, only Espers were left. The female lead was the only Guide in that new world, and so she guided the Esper male leads. However naturally, jealousy and obsession occurred, and at the same time, love and passion was brought forth.

In fact, one of the sub male leads in this novel had the same name as her husband. Not only that, he also had the same physical features as him—that’s why I remembered this novel so well.

Even if I think of someone I can’t even see anymore, what can be done …

My lingering affection, which I thought had already disappeared, seemed to be slowly rearing its head.

I stopped reading and closed the book. I still had the overwhelming urge to read the rest of the novel, but instead of doing so, I opened the drawer and shoved it deep inside.

I recalled the name of the man I could no longer meet, even if I waited in perpetuity, and soon erased the name from my mind. It still lingered faintly in my subconscious, but I no longer ached from its remembrance because it would only remain as a memory.

Still on the bed, I reached out towards the bright lamp on the bedside table and blew a small puff of air, extinguishing the flame from its wick.

My husband’s name wasn’t the only trace of the past that was left in me. In my previous life, I had received training that was perhaps close to brainwashing. This was because I was in the special forces, and so there were certain habits that I couldn’t free myself from.

I didn’t have a single relative in the past, and after being trained to protect myself and only myself like that, that mindset couldn’t have been easy to forget.

Just like how it usually was, the lights were gone, but today in particular, my fingertips were wracked with minute quivers.

As though I had been caught in a rain shower, I was easily swept away—dragged back to the past. Regardless of my will.

The face of my husband, the last thing that I saw before dying, shone before my eyes.

After I had reincarnated, the remnants of the past continued to torment me. However, there remained a strong desire to get away from it all.

I don’t wish to remember any longer.

 

 

¹ David’s nickname is derived from the first two syllables of his name in hangul, his full name’s romanization being ‘De-i-bit’, which is why his nickname’s translation is spelled as ‘Dei’. (I mean, we all know he should’ve been nicknamed Dave or smth, but Korean authors like difficult names for some reason XD )

On that note, Irene’s nickname is from the last syllable of her full name ‘A-i-rin’. If it was spelled as Rene, I was afraid that it would be confused with the pronunciation of Renée, so I opted for ‘Rin’ instead.

² Uncle = ahjussi; Hans isn’t related to them.

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