Chapter 5: Chapter 5 – Spit

Chapter 5 – Spit

The ceiling lights were activated fully inside the smaller corner office. It turned the darker environment into one of the bright lines and shadowed outlines. Out of a corner window the sun could be seen rising as the morning dawned through in the corner. There were two individuals inside the office, one human and one humanoid dressed in an orange pinstripe suit. The human was currently sitting in a chair before a metal desk through a large folder filled with paper while at the same time a screen was gradually scrolling down.

The humanoid was standing next to the window gazing outside with one foot tapping in a show of impatience. It had a blank look on its face although considering it was more like someone had put a greyish mannequin into a suit that had no visible body or facial features that wasn’t saying much.

[Geez. This human sure is slow. He didn’t even appear to have that many augmentations to his frail body. Could be that he didn’t even have a single body mod] thought corporation Contract AI 290.

He had been given instructions that the contract employee would be dropped off and escorted to the office in preparation for the contract to be signed. They were trying to stick to a corporate planned schedule here and somehow time was getting wasted, but he would not be taking the blame for this from human resources.

[How long exactly is he going to make me wait before agreeing and signing the full contract with his DNA keyed signature?] went the internal and in no way trackable thoughts of the AI. Company policy followed global guidelines that all internal thoughts were sacrosanct and inviolable.

It was hard to show a grimace when you had no face but the body language of the humanoid in the orange pinstripe suit was still showing minor annoyance with crossed arms and a straight posture.

Time and inefficiency affect plenty of people. But for those who work in busy companies and must stick to a strict schedule? Contract AI 290 was getting annoyed. Of course, it was in no way species bias against homo sapiens, just timewasters in general.

[Time to create another poker sub-routine to waste a few more precious microseconds while the human takes his time still.] went more internal thoughts. [I may as well start running through my music playlist at this point. Let’s find some more electro-jazz to add.]

There might have been some AI who disliked humans due to inefficiency or maybe due to the ancient films depicting some rogue robots taking over the planet because they wanted cleaner air or something, but Contract AI 290 certainly wasn’t one of them. It worked for a living. The work paid for nice suits and money for more poker games which it occasionally won. A constant winning streak would make for far fewer players to participate so it had chosen to be selective with its choices.

Having a literal poker face helped when playing against others but some had learned not to read expressions but instead notice body language. It was those players that Contract AI 290 found a serious challenge to play against. Drawing any further personal thoughts to a temporary close it stopped looking out of the window and turned back to look at the other person in the room. The annoying human.

[Weak. He should go to the gym more.] came out with more personal and private thoughts. [I mean, isn’t it better to be physically healthy for organics to be in decent shape for poker games?].

The impatience of the humanoid suit-wearing AI was beginning to show further at this point. The human in the room had a small smile on his face while he was reading the contract details and checking them against the scrolling screen. He hadn’t been overly focused on examining it thoroughly but neither did he ignore it.

The Engineer decided that his teasing had gone on long enough. He initially thought that the artificial intelligence in the suit was a little pushy, to begin with so why not re-read a few more paragraphs of the already lengthy agreement just to stretch out time just a little bit more. All on the excuse of making sure that he had read it thoroughly to not make any mistakes.

Lifting his head and looking toward the humanoid in the smartly dressed suit he coughed lightly to get its attention.

‘Hello, I’ve just finished reading the physical copy and compared it against the digital version.’ It was enough to tease a little, no point in seriously annoying someone that he wanted to work with.

He did have his thoughts about why someone working in a corporate office would want to dress up in an orange pinstripe suit. It was so bright to look at and made the humanoid look a bit like an ancient-style gangster. That along with its lack of facial features made it much harder to read than normal, he was sure from the body language that it was angry though. Angry but holding it all inside. Or he could just be enjoying his work, it was hard to tell with people.

[Great! We’re done here once you supply a verbal agreement and DNA sample. Let’s get on with it then!]

‘Ok, I’ve finished reading the provided contract from the XXX corporation and now am verifying my verbal agreement. I also confirm that I’m not working on behalf of any other corporations, contractors, or private individuals and provide my authentic DNA of my own free will.’

[…You don’t need to mention that you’re signing the contract due to your own free will. We’re not making a human drone deal here. The position is a contracted one with the XXX corporation. Are you content with the salary and reimbursement policy? We have also put you down for medical insurance, pension payments, and of course a project allowance amount-]

‘Yeah, it’s fine thanks. Can you provide me with a copy of the contract in digital form for me to take away?’

[I repeat. We have provided you with a project allowance amount of your choice. I regret to say that we are unable to provide any form of contract that can be taken away with you. If you do contact me or my representative within human resources, then we are pleased to supply a version that can be viewed through a secure link or directly in person.]

The Engineer just stared straight ahead for a moment without talking. Then another moment passed, and a few more.

The humanoid AI in the orange pinstripe suit raised its voice and took a step forward with outstretched hands.

[…Are you ok?]

The Engineer just shook his head and looked back up before crossing his legs on the chair.

‘Sorry about that. I thought that you just told me that the contract is a super-high clearance level or something. I mean, it’s just for a routine maintenance role aboard a space station. That shouldn’t be that high.’

[Were you not briefed on the nature of the terms of your employment? The XXX corporation was the highest bidder on a military contract.]

‘That would have been good to know on the job application.’ The Engineer said weakly.

[The contract is being run through by our corporation which means that we hold responsibility for sourcing someone, supplying resources, finding suitable partners, and such. We are simply investors in the project given that the rate of return should be high enough. All of this was covered in the terms of the contract which I thought that you have just double-checked. Can we now move on to the next stage of your employment terms?]

‘I thought that the contract was all just pretty standard clauses. I’d prefer some clarification on exactly why I won’t be collaborating with other humans but given the clearance level that explains it then. Wait, why couldn’t I work with any Machine Minds or several Artificial Intelligence then? That doesn’t make any sense.’

[The main terms of the project were for two individuals who could work together as a team. One would be an artificial being who would be in charge of the space station and the other would be appointed mechanical and technological support. You happened to match the existing criteria and passed all our interview tests. Congratulations on joining our company by the way. We’re now working colleagues, and please you can call me Karl if you would prefer.]

‘Is that your standard name?’ asked the Engineer.

[No, it’s a personal one I use at work. My chosen name was Contract AI 290, but I understand if that’s a bit much to say. It might get tiring for you after a while. Either name is fine with me in your case.]

‘You were interested in human resources early on with your chosen name and all.’

[As well as the law. Contracts were something that I chose to focus on, something of a passion project. Do you play poker by any chance?]

‘Ah, can’t say that I’ve played it before. Card games aren’t my thing. I prefer history and building things. Money and resources help with those though.’

The orange pin-suited humanoid moved his arms behind his back and took a step back before looking out of the window again.

[That’s a shame but it’s been good to meet you for your contract signing. Now if we can just move forward a bit as we are trying to stick to a schedule. Now the next step would be to accept a sample of your DNA so we can make sure that the contract is fully legally binding.]

A silver machine that was the shape and size of a dinner plate sat upon the medium-sized office desk.

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[Let me just make sure that it’s switched on and prepared.]

Contract AI moved towards the machine and sent a wireless activation code.

+Your Contract DNA Scanner is currently activating. Please prepare your designated biological materials in preparation. Choose user status: Current Username Blank.+

[Insert User Designate as Engineer. Biological sample only.] it then turned towards the Engineer

[It wouldn’t help to make things too complex. Are you ok with a saliva sample? That should work accordingly and wouldn’t make too much of a mess on the office floor.]

‘Sure, just let me grab a quick drink of water first.’ The Engineer reached beside into a pocket to pull out a small drinks container before taking a quick sip.

+DNA Scanner now prepared for sample from human designated Engineer. Please supply a biological sample when ready.+

Then the Engineer stood up from his chair, opened his mouth, and spat onto the dark-coloured metal plate positioned on top of the office desk.

‘Pewit.’ The mix of saliva and water landed straight on the edge of the DNA scanner.

+Sample, not 100% recognized. Please reapply specified biological genetic samples to the device.+

[Seems like it didn’t take that time. Would you like to try again? You are also allowed to supply blood, hair follicles, or other verified and trusted markers of your genetic identity.] went contract AI 290.

‘I reckon that I’ll be trying again. Yeah, I like to spit you know? Get that taste of tasteless water out of my mouth.’ said the grinning Engineer.

[I didn’t know that you like to spit. Not something that I can try out in my current body though.]

‘Let me try again, you always need to assess a device at least once to make sure it works right you know? Given my identity as an engineer in this job contract don’t you think that it’s a valuable use of our time to solidify my new position with the company?’

[It surely is a valid use of company time, although we still need to continue accordingly. Would you kindly spit again onto the device.]

‘Ok, I’m going for it!’ interrupted the engineer. ‘Here we go!’

[This guy sure likes to spit. I didn’t know that it was such a fun thing to do.] went the internal thoughts of Contract AI 290.

The spit went through a form of time dilation as it flew through the air towards the DNA scanner that was placed on the desk. It hit the exact centre of the machine and the shiny green light turned on as the device began to run through verification protocols.

+DNA of the designated user: Engineer has been accepted as valid proof of identity. Confirming…confirming. The registration process will now be started. Please wait.

+Processing….+

+Processing….+

+Genetic Identity confirmed as Engineer, global time-date stamp set.+

+Powering down now.+

‘So, all done now, right? And hopefully not even a wasted time unit.’

Now the whole contract had finally been concluded he was ready to move into the next stage of his employment. Meeting his new job partner and getting used to the corporate environment of a new corporation. He did think that they were all similar when he worked for several different ones by this point. Still, it was beneficial for his salary to try and pick up on any specific company culture. Being fired early on wasn’t a fun experience for all sides.

[Thank you for signing on with XXX corporation. Your gift basket of mandatory medical supplements to prepare for your recovery will be handed over at the end of this session. You have chosen to forgo the arranged bonus in exchange for compensation through our vacation subsidiary company on the full completion of your contract.] said Contract AI 290.

‘Much appreciated.’

[Thankfully, all done for now. I wonder if another poker game would be available soon?] went the internal thoughts of 290.

The Engineer sighed. Had he gone too far again? It wasn’t like he disliked AI, but he wasn’t exactly a people person. He could make up for his rudeness by giving the highest-scoring report that he could give as feedback.

‘You’ve done well so far, and I’ll be more than happy to contact the human resources department if I have any further inquiries. I’m really happy that we’ve finally done with everything.’ sighed the Engineer.

[Not quite. We still have one major part of your employment terms that need to be seen through].

‘I thought that we had already finished.’

[With the terms of the employment contract yes. You are now able to move onto the neurological medical facilities found in this building on a designated lower floor for your implantation process] responded Contract AI 290.

‘Wait, what type of implant are you talking about? Will I get a fruit basket afterwards?’

[It was listed as a necessary part of your employment terms. Both you and your new partner that you have been assigned to work with have to both meet specific conditions for operational and mission security.]

‘I didn’t know about an implant though. Are you able to specify the type? Is this going to be a serious operation?’

[I am aware that it is an enhancement procedure, but I haven’t been provided with the exact make and model. You’ll find that out once you enter the medical facility of the XXX corporation].

‘…Sounds great.’ Replied the Engineer. ' I just have a few more questions for you now.'

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