Chapter 29: 27. Chunin Exams Second Stage: The Forest of Sex

I realize too late I’ve attracted unnecessary attention when we’re preparing for the Forest of Death. We’re milling about as other teams are signing the exam liability release forms and receiving their Heaven or Earth scrolls.

Genin teams are supposed to stick together, obviously, and Tenten has no issue working with her team despite being in a relationship with me. However, it’s natural for her to gravitate towards Hinata and me considering we’re in a committed relationship. Even Ino is standing close by, a habit ingrained from our combined training sessions.

So, I shouldn’t be surprised Anko gives us a weird look seeing four girls from three teams practically standing side-by-side. No telling how that’ll change things later on.

Then she starts heading our way.

Fuck.

Anko has a ponytail of spiky violet hair and brown eyes. She wears mesh armor from neck to thigh with a tan overcoat and orange mini-skirt. She’s neither slender nor curvaceous, though she has a nice rack.

Much later in the timeline, during Boruto, her sweet tooth catches up to her, and she gains some weight. Sadly, I think part of that indulgence comes from her inability to find a suitable life-partner. I don’t plan on letting Anko follow that path in my timeline, but let me state something for the record.

I’d fuck the Boruto-Anko.

I like thicc girls, even thiccc girls, as well as thin. Give me the squish! I want to feel like I’m fucking a marshmallow! Hahaha!

Ahem, anyway.

“Afternoon, ladies. Excited for the Exams to start?” We shrug, a bit intimidated to have the proctor come chat us up. “I’ve been tasked with investigating something, and I figured now was as good a time as any to ask. Have any of you been to the hot springs recently?”

Oh, fuck.

“Yes!” Hinata says excitedly. I suppose her reaction is natural considering the positive memories she has from that experience. My reaction is significantly different.

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck!

Thank Deus I’m wearing my high-collared coat and glasses. I don’t think my poker face is good enough to fool a Jonin. I shift the weight of my new bug gourd on my shoulders, betraying my nerves by fidgeting. 

“Did you notice anything… unusual?”

“Hmm,” Hinata considers the question as I have an internal meltdown.

Act cool act cool act cool!

The dark-blue haired beauty’s smile shines like the sun. “Yes, everyone was having a really great time!”

Anko moves into the Hyuga girl’s personal space with a grin, strokes Hinata’s chin, and says in a husky tone, “Maybe later I could show you a great time.”

“Eh?” Hinata says while blushing.

Aaaahhhh! I’m not ready for this fight!!!

In the split second I hesitate, Tenten steps between them. “Listen, we don’t know anything about whatever you’re looking into. If we did, we’d have reported it to our Sensei’s. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have an Exam to take.”

Anko ostensibly retreats, though she gives Tenten an impish grin as her knowing eyes glance between the four of us girls. “That’s alright. I didn’t think the culprit would leave much evidence. I guess that means The Third will go through with his plan to send the big fish to investigate.”

Big fish? In a little pond… or hot spring. Huh.

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My tension melts as Anko gives us space.

“Tenten-chan, I don’t deserve the two of you!” I dare not hug my girlfriends in front of so many prying eyes, but my glasses hide unshed tears. “I choked! How can I call this my harem if I don’t defend it? That woman almost…”

“Shino-chan, what is a harem worth that gets conquered by its first challenger without a fight? Nothing. Don’t forget, inspiring loyalty is also the job of the harem’s leader!”

“Tenten-chan is right,” Hinata says. “I don’t really get it, but the three of us are bound to each other! Nobody can replace Shino-chan!”

I have the best girlfriends! They’ve both earned all the special treats in the world!

They’re right, but I also have my responsibilities. I won’t let Anko intimidate me again. +S-Rank seduction? Fuck it.

I’ll conquer that woman to redeem myself!

 

---

 

Team 8 gets the expected Heaven scroll and starts at gate 16.

I have two main objectives which my insects make easy. First, I need to find a team with an Earth scroll. Each team needs one each of Heaven and Earth to pass. Second, I need to track Sasuke and a certain individual to wait for when they’re on a collision course.

Spreading my parasitic insects across a vast area isn’t impossible for me. Not to mention my Secret Technique: Insect Gathering. That allows me to ‘interview’ local insects about recent passersby. Throw in a dash of classic tracking skills plus my knowledge of canon events, and I have a very good idea of where the key players’ locations.

That’s why, when Sasuke splits from Team 7 to scout, I leave behind Hinata and Kiba to go intercept him. The Uchiha scion stops to hide and mask his presence when he detects me on a collision course with his position.

When he’s within earshot, I say, “Don’t be a stranger, Sasuke-kun. Come on out.” 

Sasuke jerks in surprise at my words. Then he hops onto a branch with a clear line of sight to me. He’s on edge, ready for a fight.  

“Don’t be like that Sasuke-kun. There’s plenty of ninja teams from other villages; we don’t have to take each other’s scrolls.” 

“There is no ‘Konoha’ inside the Chunin Exams,” he says with a kunai in hand. “Why shouldn’t I take your scroll?” 

“Oh, no!” I mock, unzipping my coat to expose my cleavage, “Sasuke-kun is going to hold me down and search me!” I loosen my pants and turn to show him the top of my ass crack and supple buttocks. “Then he’s going to stick his big thing in my secret garden and stir up my insides!” 

I waggle two fingers in his direction, miming a prostate massage. “Or maybe he wants a repeat of my ‘medical procedure.’ Ah, Sasuke-kun is one of those boys. He can’t get off without something hard plunging into his—” 

“—Enough,” Sasuke says, blushing hot. “You obviously don’t have the scroll on your person anyway.” With that, he jumps away to flee my advances.

*Intimidation Success!* 

I turn in the opposite direction and prepare to claim my red-haired prize. 

“Swiggity swooty, I’m coming for that booty.” 

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