Chapter 4: Academy Graduation

I’m able to get a pair of Pheromone Insects implanted without incident. I adamantly refuse any offer of a ‘demonstration.’ Despite Choko Aburame’s attempts to get me alone and ‘apologize,’ I’m able to fend off any further attempts at ‘education’ or any ‘tutorials’ for the Deep Dwelling Insect. That woman won’t be sinking her claws any deeper into me before I have a chance to beat her at her own game. 

Much later, after a lot of practice. 

One of the branch families sends me a document explaining how to use both of my new insects. After several days of growth, my Deep Dweller connects with my ovaries and essentially takes control of my womb. As with other Aburame insects, my chakra gives me complete mastery over the Deep Dweller.  

First benefit: no periods. Hurray! 

Second benefit: I can’t get pregnant. A huge boon for a kunoichi looking to advance through seduction. I might feel bad if I were born a woman but… Why carry a child when you have bitches to do it for you?

Third benefit: I can turn my eggs into sperm and impregnate women. Futanari for the win! 

Fourth benefit: I can sift through genetic material in my uterus to select for specific bloodline factors and incorporate it into a batch of sperm. Historically, the Aburame clan used this ability to breed ninjas compatible with the more dangerous insect varieties like Torune’s nano-bugs. More practically, I can extract traits like hair color, blood type, or Kekkei Genkai from semen. 

Fifth benefit: I can create mutated Dweller Insects. Instead of impregnating a woman with my sperm, I can implant a larval Dweller infused with a Kekkei Genkai. After she carries it to term, the woman gives birth to a body-modifying insect that I can use. Unfortunately, the chances of other Aburame clan members being compatible with the mutated Dweller are low. That’s why Choko got so excited that I could use two Dweller-type insects created by another Aburame. 

There’s also a ‘Blank’ larva I can deliver which extracts the Kekkei Genkai from a woman’s unfertilized egg, so I don’t have to rely on semen.

To recap, I have Parasitic Destruction Insect Technique, Pheromone Insect genjutsu, and the Deep Dweller. Now with my arsenal established, I need to figure out where I am in Naruto’s plot.

Since I’m eighteen, we should be well into the later seasons.

Not!

I’m graduating from the Academy in a few days which puts me at episode 1. 

What the hell, Kishimoto-san? How could you get something so simple totally wrong? I guess it makes more sense to have potential ninjas graduate high school, then become genin, which is basically an apprenticeship program.  

With that settled, I figure I should set myself some goals. If I’m going to surpass Anime-Shino, I need to get my hands on some broken-ass ninja powers. Seducing a Jonin would be an S to SSS-rank mission for me and is out of the question for now.  

I hate to admit that means Sasuke is my number one target. In terms of availability, everything I’d consider stronger than the basic Sharingan is out of reach or not something I can copy (like Naruto’s sealed nine-tailed fox).  

The problem is Sasuke never showed interest in girls in the anime. He’s too obsessed with revenge on his brother. Between that and him being one of the most capable ninjas in class, I’d say he’s an A-rank seduction. (Kakashi isn’t an Uchiha so that’s a no-go.) 

Target number two is the Byakugan. No fucking way am I doing Negi when I could have Hinata! Fuck Negi. I’d rate Hinata as a B-rank seduction. Her shyness and interest in Naruto are obstacles, but I’m confident I can overcome them given time.  

Unfortunately, my other classmates’ ninja abilities are techniques, not bloodline powers. That doesn’t mean they aren’t worth seducing. I’m going to need women to incubate my Dwellers once I have a Kekkei Genkai ready to copy.  

Sakura and Ino are both B-rank seductions. Their narrow-minded focus on Sasuke makes them difficult to approach. If I can defeat Sasuke in some capacity that could elevate me in their eyes but that’s easier said than done. The secondary problem with Sakura is she’s tied into the plot fairly tightly. 

Now, I don’t have an issue with going off script from the anime, but if things deviate too far because of me then I’ll lose my biggest advantage! Going off the rails means I’ll be clueless about what happens next. Best to leave Sakura for last among the Konoha kunoichi.

For reference on the guys: Shikamaru is A-rank; max effort for minimal reward. He’d just lay in bed during sex and make me do all the work. 

Rock Lee is also A-rank with extra danger. If I approached Lee normally I could get friend-zoned or become a rival, and he definitely has a thing for Sakura. If I use my Pheromones… well, he went on a rampage after a single sip of alcohol so what happens when he gets horny? I might be biting off more than I can chew with that guy.  

Kiba and Choji are D-rank. Choji would do a dinner date and Kiba would say yes if I straight-up asked for sex. 

My first choice is Tenten, C-rank seduction. Friendly, not romantically attached to anyone, and nothing I remember from the anime makes me think she’ll be difficult to approach. Plus, I think she’s a lesbian.  

I need to graduate for my plan to work. Having lived as Shino for eighteen years, I can do a normal day at the Academy on autopilot. I keep a metal washtub jammed above my bedroom door at night. Several times I wake to the clanging of it hitting a certain futanari bedroom invader who retreats before I can turn the light on.  

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Days pass and the plot plays out. 

While Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura are taking Kakashi’s test, I’m taking Kurenai’s. Anything Anime-Shino did, I can match. Kurenai’s genin test is just a basic obstacle course plus genjutsu traps. Not even Hinata has much trouble with it, not that I’m down on her. Hinata is super cute when she’s focused. 

“And what are your ambitions, as ninjas?” Kurenai asks us once we’ve passed her test.

Kiba is the first to answer. “That’s easy. Akamaru and I are going to make the Inuzuka clan proud!” The ninken yips excitedly and Kiba pats his dog’s head. “Right; and show mom she doesn’t need to worry about me after my asshole dad left her.”

Momma’s boy? Huh, I guess Tsume is single… and doesn’t he have a sister?

No! +S-rank targets are off-limits for now. Stick to the plan.

Hinata hesitates, knees together, head lowered, then bites her lip and forces herself to answer. “I… I want to t-thank a certain someone for s-saving me.”

Yeah, she has it bad for Naruto.

It takes all my willpower to resist shouting my dream is to assemble an unrivaled harem of kunoichi! Seeing how two of the women present are my targets, that wouldn’t further my goals.

I adjust my dark glasses. “I intend to make the Aburame clan number one in Konoha.”

While I don’t know what anime-Shino would’ve said here, I intend to stay in character whenever possible. The butterfly effect is real. The fact I’m still in Team 8 shows we haven’t deviated from canon yet, but I have no reason to believe this plot is on rails!

I tell myself to be patient. I have just a few days to enact my plans while Naruto does D-rank missions.

I need to get a ticket to the Land of Waves! 

---

“That wasn’t so hard,” Kiba said, hands behind his head, and Akamaru barked in agreement. The three of us on Team 8 are on our return walk from Kurenai’s test.  

“Um, I think a lot of our classmates failed their genin test, Kiba-kun,” Hinata said, her light and breathy voice barely audible. “And we almost failed. Twice.” 

I suppose those genjutsu traps were pretty rough. “Hinata’s right, Kiba-kun, you got lucky. I mean, seriously, you’re the only genin in our year with two hot kunoichi on his team. Isn’t that like winning the lottery?”

Hinata blushes at my comment. So much for staying in character! Me and my big mouth.

Kiba snorts. “I guess. I hadn’t really thought about that, but it’s not a big deal or anything.” 

Not a big deal? Not a big deal??? How dare he insult my pride as a woman! I mean, I’m still a man inside, but this body is super sexy!

Merely being in my presence should have a lowly D-rank worm like Kiba groveling and drooling all over me! I’d have given anything to be in his situation before my reincarnation. 

I know he never showed any interest in Hinata in the Anime, but I know he’s not gay because he starts dating a cat lady shopkeeper eventually. Yeah, this poor schlub couldn’t even land one of the main girls! Forget competing for Hinata and Sakura, he lost Ino to freaking Sai!  

I can’t let this stand, plans be damned.  

“Hinata-chan, you go on ahead. I need to speak with Kiba-kun in private.” 

 

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