Reincarnated as the God of Shitty Life Counseling for Defective Washed Up Waifus

Chapter 69: Consultation 69.


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Consultation 69.

“God, in case you were unaware of this, I am a gourmet. I actually love to eat, but there is something I haven’t eaten yet that I’ve always wanted to try. How do I fatten my child up and prepare him to be the finest cuisine I’ve ever feasted upon?”

“You… had a kid?”

“Yes, it seems that way.”

“What do you mean it seems that way? How the hell did someone like you get pregnant?” 

What man in their right mind consciously stuck their dick into this crazy fetus obsessed woman?

“Perhaps it was the work of God. Maybe I was impregnated by you while we were talking during our last meeting.”

”No. No. No! No child of mine will ever fall out of your mangled fetus infested womb. And you’re not going to get pregnant from just talking to me even if I am a God.”

“What? You mean to say it wasn’t you? But if it wasn’t because I talked to you, how did I get pregnant?” 

“Don’t put on that clueless face like you have no idea.”

“But I really don’t know. Well, whatever, who cares about that anyway? My child has already been born and he’s already ten years old. I’d like to know how to fatten him up.”

It hadn’t been too long since I’d seen her last. Though that may be the case, this was her from a future point in time in her universe.

“When you say fatten him up, what exactly do you mean?”

“I’d like to fill him with a lot of despair before I eat him. I’ve found tormenting and making animals despair before I kill and eat them taste far better than eating them when they’ve lived a happy life. The despair somehow seems to add a very vibrant flavor and bring out the best in the ingredient.”

“And when you say you want to… eat him…”

“Oh, it’s not what you think. Because of my last two requests, you probably think I mean in that way, but this time I mean the way one eats their food.”

What’s worse is that I hadn’t thought wrong at all. It was exactly what I feared she meant, cannibalizing her own child.

“Then, the way to ‘fatten’ him up the most would naturally be to feed him the sorts of things you enjoy.”

“Oh, you mean like fetuses?”

“I meant in terms of food.”

“Yeah, then fetuses.”

“Wait. I thought you just enjoyed sex with-”

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“No, I eat them too.”

I actually trembled, even her last request hadn’t made me bat an eye when I compared it to her first request. However, this request was different, she’d actually done it, she somehow found a way to top her first request.

“T-T-Then… if that’s the case… you mix in ground-up fetus meat into his meals. You can steal dead fetuses from rape victims and miscarriages in hospitals. While you’re at it, you should get pregnant yourself and tell your son he’s going to have a sibling soon. Let it grow inside you and get his hopes up. When you’re satisfied with the size of the fetus inside you, you can use the rod method to abort it. You will abort it in front of your son and let him watch helplessly as the mangled flesh of his unborn sibling drips out of you directly before his innocent eyes. You will have him tied down and restrained in a chair, forcing him to watch the entire process from beginning to end.”

“Once you’ve collected the fetus, you will then prepare a meal out of the flesh of the fetus from his unborn sibling in front of him. You will then forcefully feed it to him and reveal that this is what he’s been eating for the last few months. If eating the flesh of the fetus of his unborn sibling hasn’t already broken him, knowing he’s been feasting upon fetuses for months and enjoying it certainly will. He’ll be sent into an endless abyss of despair.”

“At that point, he will turn into the most delectable ingredient for a sick monster like you.”

“Hehehe. It’s exactly as I thought. God really is the best. You truly know how to get my mouth watering. Just hearing you describe it is enough to get me excited. It’s a shame it will take several months, but the finest delicacies take time to prepare after all.” She wore a deceptively jovial smile while clapping her hands together in front of her.

A shiver ran down my back. She showed not the slightest sign of humanity. She was a monster at heart with the appearance of an innocent sheep on the outside.

“It’s your son though. Don’t you think you should reconsider?”

“My son? I only raised him for this long because I wanted to try eating him. Wolf spiders do it, and for a long time it made me ponder over whether it would taste any good.”

“But you’re not a wolf spider you know.”

“So?” She didn’t have a shred of motherly love in her eyes when she said that. She couldn’t see anything that wasn’t herself.

“I see…”

“So once I’ve prepared and fattened him up by revealing everything to him, I can eat him alive, is that correct, God?”

“Y-Yeah.”

“Perfect. Since you’ve been such a great help, I’ll send you a container as thanks.”

“No. I don’t need such a thing.”

“Don’t be shy and just accept it. You’ve done so much for me, I need to pay you back.”

“I really don’t want it. Don’t send it to me, I’ll throw it out.”

“If you say so. Your loss I guess, more for me.”

After she said that, she took her leave.

I was left behind alone in the room with chills. I was extremely thankful that I’d never had the misfortune to have an inhumane monster of a mother like her before I reincarnated as a God.

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