Chapter 18: Chapter 17: ‘Who am I truly, on the inside?’

Hanna grinned at the older elf and swung her arm around her neck, the elf was clearly uncomfortable and that’s why Hanna was enjoying it so much. They had been walking together towards the old elf’s home near a small river east of the forest and talked along the way. They talked about many different things along the way, after introducing herself and thanking the elf for saving her and all that, Hanna asked if they could go to the elf‘s house to have a good drink and some good food before resting up for the night.

At First the elf refused and insisted on going to nearby Querum, but Hanna convinced her, using both her [Suggestion] And [Hypnotic Gaze] spells that they should go the elf’s home instead.

As Hanna was having her fun with the elderly elf, finding all the small ways to make her uncomfortable without pushing her away, Luisa was trailing behind, her head downcast and never speaking a word since Hanna had woken up, in her mind a torrent of thoughts was keeping her occupied, before she had fully believed that she had been unreasonably wronged. But now?

'In my eyes there is no person in the world who’s evil for the sake of being evil.' Therissa‘s words planted a seed of doubt into her mind. Had she truly the right to determine the lives of others, when she doesn’t know their full story? Can she truly judge people based on one singular event?

It was driving her mad, slowly but surely, two sides of her own consciousness fighting for dominance, one claiming and demanding revenge for the wrongs she had experienced at the hands of the world while an other side was telling her that pursuing such goals would only put her in the same boat, as those who had wronged her.

The turmoil only ever got stronger over time, the voices in her head becoming ever louder and louder, they were deafening her mind and she couldn’t focus on anything anymore it was all to loud, the voices just didn’t stop. That was when she heard a third voice, it was soft and laced with honey and it whispered seductively in her mind and yet it overpowered all the other voices with ease.

'It doesn’t matter what you do, you‘ll never truly be accepted anyway. So what if you try and come to understand them, they wouldn’t understand you, they don’t want to understand you.' And just like that the old voices came back but they seemed less overwhelming, like they have mellowed out, Luisa released a sigh of relief.

And for the first time she actually looked up from the forest floor, to find that they were closing in on a small wooden shack, illuminated by magical lanterns, it was small and made of wood, but it oozed a aura of hospitality and warmth Luisa had never seen before.

"Welcome to my humble abode, please make yourself at home." Therissa said, with Hanna grinning madly next to her, although the Elf never saw the expression.

—————————————————————————————————————————-

First Lady Kathrin was walking through the tents of the camp angrily, her expression so full of rage and fury that even the most hardened of veterans of the Cloud Order avoided to fall within her line of sight and as soon as he reached the tent of Cloud Order captain Feralt, the stationed guards scurried away as she threw them a glare, that would easily give normal peasants a heart attack, before she stormed into the tent and shot her glare onto Feralt, who was sitting in front of a single table looking over a map of the lands.

When Lady Kathrin realised he had not noticed her yet, she promptly went up to him and slaped him across the face, the resulting sound and scream send most who heard it a shiver down their spines.

"You cowardly imbecile! Are you out of your damn mind?! How can you be such a stupid and irresponsible man when your The captain of an knight order?!"

Feralt, understanbly, was rather puzzled at the sudden rage induced rampage of the First Lady and slowly raised his hands as to not get hit again, yet his atempt was futile as another hand landed on the left side of his face. As a response he ceases all movements and spoke instead.

"Lady Kathrin, may I know just why this is happe-..." He couldn't even finish his sentence before another slap hit him, even harder this time, leaving a red mark across his face.

"Don’t you dare ask me what is happening, you know exactly what is happening! You have abandoned your knightly orders!"

Feralt was completely lost at this point and he had no idea what the First Lady was talking about at all, had she gone mad he wondered, until he thought back to what had conspired previously and What action he had performed might tip the First Lady off. It didn’t take long for him to realise what she was talking about and with a sigh he looked into the First Lady‘s eyes.

"Lady Kathrin, with all due respect I did what I did to ensure your safety, I firmly believe your life is more important then one criminal escaping into the wild."

Lady Kathrin did not take kindly to these words and prepared herself to swing once again, but held back as he saw the ice cold resolve in the captain‘s eyes, he truly believed he did the right thing. She lowered her hand, though her anger prevailed.

"Then you are a fool, captain. The criminal who escaped? I couldn’t give two shits about, what I can’t tolerate and is a direct violation against your oath to protect the kingdom, is the fact you left that monster alone." Feralt raised an eyebrow at that.

"Lady Kathrin I stabbed the monster straight through the chest and even if she would have survived through some supernatural means, it would take a high class Priest or Mage to save her from bleeding out in time and she was in the middle of a burning forest. I think it is very much dealt with."

They both glared at each other in silence, a raging Lioness against an unmoving mountain, before Lady Kathrin suddenly turned around, but before truly leaving the tent she ushered one last thing.

"I hope your right captain, this Dark Margeko is far more intelligent then any Dark Margeko we have ever encountered, standing here, I realise you do what you think was right and I hope your right, because if your wrong." She turned around giving him one last glare.

"I will personally brand you a traitor to the kingdom and execute you." And then she left.

For the rest of the journey back to the capital, First Lady Kathrin refused to talk to any and all people and stayed by her wounded and poisoned daughter the entire trip back, only ever leaving to get food or drink. Feralt at one point tried talking to her, only to be ignored, much less even spared a glance, he sighed.

"You were just like me, trying to make history, You always think about the future. But at one point one has to think in short terms as well, or else we‘ll lose ourselves in the burning fires around us." And he left, marching towards a small tent, surrounded by multiple men, they all saluted to him and then made way, so he may enter the tent. Inside, chained by her wrists and ankles a young women sat, glaring at Feralt. Next to her a man in white robes stood.

“So what has your examination brought to light master Kog?"

"Nothing." He simply answered, and Feralt was taken a back for a moment.

"Pardon?"

"Like I said, there are absolutely no signs of her mind having been altered in any magical way, this girl underwent no brainwashing of the magical variety. Going on from this, I decided to do you a solid and interrogated her already and her answers were very clear, she followed the monster because-"

"DON‘T YOU DARE CALL MY BELOVED A MONSTER!!! YOU ARE THE MONSTERS FOR KEEPING US AWAY FROM ONE ANOTHER!"

Kog smiled a smirk at Feralt.

"Because of that." With a last salute, he left the tent, leaving Adeline and Feralt to their silent glaring contest.

———————————————————————————————————————

You are reading story Reincarnated as the Monster of all Monsters at novel35.com

Sitting at a small wooden table Hanna was sipping on some tea Therissa had presented them with, with Therissa herself also enjoying some tea, while Luisa sat there unmoving and unresponsive, the battle of opinions still raged in her mind and although they were significantly less overwhelming has they have been previously they still drowned out most other things, so she barley registered the ongoing conversation.

"Now, Therissa, I want you to understand that believing that everyone has a good reason for everything they do, is a very idealistic and naive thinking and you yourself have already proven that such a philosophy is impossible and inherently flawed."

Therissa sighed at that, she had almost forgotten under what premise Hanna had introduced herself, she had hoped that this conversation could wait till morning, but she guessed she was not that lucky.

“Those are rather very heavy claim, although I have to agree mine is not that less outlandish, thinking everyone has something good idea behind even the most evil action." Hanna grinned at that and she started to chuckle, never in a million years had she expected that her studying philosophy back in Uni would be important in a magical fantasy world, but here she was.

"But who’s to judge the right from wrong? Who is to judge what is evil and what is good? The answer is ourselves Therissa. And because of that your philosophy is flawed." Therissa raised an eyebrow at that.

"How so?" She asked.

"Take a monarch, for example, if he were to brutally oppress his subjects, to prevent them from opposing his reign, does he do it with good intentions at heart? In many peoples eyes absolutely not, but in his own? It ensures his own safety and as such he sees it as totally justified and a good act. Depending on who you ask, what is good and evil changes. Good and evil are not something objective everyone sees it different and as such everyone thinks, under certain conditions, that certain people are doing evil, for the sake of doing evil."

Therissa sat in silence, deep in thought of course she knew that what is evil and what is good can’t be objectified and depending on own believes, knowledge and situation, the meaning of evil and good would change, but she doesn’t understand how that would make her philosophy flawed. Hanna saw the doubt in her eyes and continued.

"One might argue that the monarch still had 'good intentions' even if the populace would disagree, but consider this, if you were to tell the starving, oppressed and beaten down peasants that he does it with good intentions, would they give a damn? No they wouldn’t and that’s because we are selfish. We only ever care for ourselves and with anyone somehow opposes us in our own way, they are labels as evil in our minds. What need is there-…"

'To concern yourself with what others think about you? It‘s you who matters and only you. Those who oppose and stand in your way, are your enemies, you should just do what you looove to do~.' The sweet And seductive voice had once again whispered into Luisa‘s mind, drowning out all other voices once more.

It began to whisper promises of freedom and ecstasy she couldn’t begin to imagine, all she had to do was to let herself lose on the world and embrace who she truly was. But Luisa didn’t know who she truly was.

All her life was defined by her thirst for revenge after all, she had always seen her self seeking justice for the wrongs she had been dealt, if that isn’t what she truly was then what was she?

She thought back on her entire life, the many hardships she had encountered at a young age, all the pain. She remembered her parents scorns, the people of her home town having a look of disgust, the way the priest had declared her a 'doomed child', previously she had remembered it all so vividly, but now it was al gray and soundless. What was once the most important thing in her life, the reason for her rage and thirst for vengeance was dulled out.

She went through the rest of her life and it was all the same, it was all grey and without sound it all seemed so pointless, her entire life was nothing, she was nothing, what once defined her was now just a toneless grey speck of her life, so what is it she truly was. It was at this moment she came across her memories of her capture and subsequent transportation towards the capital for her execution that something had changed, because as she reached the part where she first met Hanna, the world suddenly was in full colour and she could hear again and she heard the screams of pain and agony of the two adventures clear as day.

Luisa smiled at that and then, when she had her turn with the elf later down the line, her smile turned wicked and she started to giggle. Low and silently and with each memory of her making others scream, making others feel pain and seeing the despair in their eyes, the world turned more colourful and louder and she also became louder in her laughing.

Which was finally enough noise to get Therissa and Hanna out of their philosophical debate they were having the last couple of minutes.

"When our guard is down, I think we’ll both agree that it is impossible to just, uhh what is wrong with her?" Therissa pointed at the now hysterically laughing Luisa, who started to bang her hands on the table in addition to her ever increasing volume.

Hanna stared at her companion, not quite sure what to make of the situation at hand, she knew staying and acting all friendly would take a toll on both of them, especially on Luisa since Therissa was an elf, but her having an apparent breakdown was not something she expected to happen, she had been prepared for some tantrum, but not this.

"I have absolutely no idea what is happening right now, I am very sorry, this has never happened before. I guess the stress of the last few hours is getting to her? I think I will bringer her to bed now." With that she scooped Luisa up by the hood and dragged her towards one of the rooms nearby, all the while, Luisa‘s manic laughter continued.

Closing the door and setting Luisa on the ground Hanna briefly checked what the elf was doing and found her bringing away the teacups, before disappearing into another side room, what Hanna suspected was her own bedroom. So she closed the door again, turned to the still laughing Luisa and slapped her across the face. Which was enough to slow the laughing down and Luisa, slowly returning to her senses, slowly.

"Okay, you will tell what the fuck that was, right the fuck now, or else that won’t be the last slap of tonight." Hanna demanded angrily, glaring at Luisa who simply looked dumbfounded around the small room, where only a single bed and nightstand stood.

Processing The last few minutes, Luisa finally answered, looking up at her 'boss'.

"The world is a cruel place, violence breeds violence and hate breeds hate, and I questioned my life, what is my purpose, am I truly to just wander around forever, only being characterised by my hate and thirst for vengeance, it didn’t seem right."

Hanna raised an eyebrow at that, grumbling that she thought she would be done with philosophy for today.

"Look, it doesn’t matter what others think about us, look at me! In The eyes of basically everyone I am nothing more then a mindless beast, who only exists to destroy, forcing me to basically play hide and seek where I go, but I don’t give a damn! I have the possibility to change,I am a sentient being, if I wanted to I could start acting like a 'normal' person at anytime, in fact I know for a fact that I used to do just that, but now? I don’t give a flying fuck anymore, I can do whatever the hell I want and guess what, killing people and torturing them is fun for me, so why on earth should I not do it? We are all selfish and we only think for our own good, so why should I stop doing what is fun to me?“

Luisa reached an arm out and it landed on Hanna‘s shoulder, much to Hanna‘s grime, but she dealt with it for now. Luisa pulled herself from the ground and looked into Hanna‘s crimson eyes and Hanna recognised the spark of madness in them, it was the same she had found in her own eyes, when she first saw her reflection all the way back in the forrest where she had met Adeline.

"The world is an unjust place, but in the end it has to be this way. Nothing in the world matters, it is all about yourself and as such you should do whatever it is you want to do. I came to that very conclusion."

Hanna raised an eyebrow at her, asking the all important question. Although she could guess the answer.

"And what do you want to do?"

"I want to make people feel what I have felt all this time. I want the, to feel pain and agony and for them to scream and beg. For once in my life… I want to be in charge. And I want to control the lives of others. That is what I want."

Hanna grinned from ear to ear.

"Well aren’t you in luck then, because I just happen to know a person who most definitely would support you in such a goal." She offered Luisa her hand and Luisa shook it firmly.

"Now how about we have some fun eh?" Hanna said, before she opened the door and pointed at the closed door where Therissa had disappeared into.

You can find story with these keywords: Reincarnated as the Monster of all Monsters, Read Reincarnated as the Monster of all Monsters, Reincarnated as the Monster of all Monsters novel, Reincarnated as the Monster of all Monsters book, Reincarnated as the Monster of all Monsters story, Reincarnated as the Monster of all Monsters full, Reincarnated as the Monster of all Monsters Latest Chapter