Chapter 41: Chapter 39: Spiralling out of control.

Adventurers usually didn’t participate in any formal conflict between nations, that‘s what their 'relatives' the mercenaries were for. As such, during conflict, it was customary that adventurers handled unofficial negotiations between two opposing armies, be it ceasefires to collect the dead or other issues.

But since it wasn’t an established rule that adventurers weren’t allowed to fight in a war and since most of time, adventurers were still citizens of a nation, they often found themselves conscripted into their respective nations military either way, making the claims of the nations, 'that they protect ancient traditions' nothing more then empty words.

However, most adventurers sided with one side willingly most of the time anyway, they were born there, their family lived their and as such they usually didn’t want to see the place where they and their family lived get pillaged or worse, leading to many adventurers willingly joining the armies of whatever side they were on.

A view both Hardgut and Emily didn’t share, which is why they dragged their feet on their way towards the army camp of Lord Narbensrahl to deliver a cart of food supplies to the Lord’s small camp towards the far south, fighting there had been kept to a minimal, however the king and the nobles feared an incursion of the Southland people and therefore kept a sizeable army in the region.

And with most citizens focusing on different things during times of war, the Adventurers Guilds of a warring nation usually only receives certain kinds of missions, commissions made from the king himself, that usually resolve around helping out the armies with non combat orientated things like supplies.

That was the reason why both Hardgut and Emily were helping out the kingdom despite both of them firmly beliving that, as adventurers, they shouldn’t get involved, they simply didn’t have any other options to get any money and they needed the money to ensure Justin‘s happiness.

Ever since they found the boy and brought him away from the carnage that was Querum, to live with them inside the capital, Hardgut had grown attached to the boy and their plan to give him away to the nearest available orphanage evolved into them adopting him themselves instead, at the behest of Hardgut.

And having a third head around, does increase the costs of living quite dramatically inside the capital, so as much as they hated it, they begrudgingly agreed to more and more commissions, if it was in the name of giving Justin the opportunity to finally live a somewhat fulfilling live after the tragedy and trauma he had witnessed as a child then it would be worth it.

To live through a tragedy as he did, wasn’t something anyone should ever have to live through, much less a child.

To this day, he is plagued by the memories of that night, the fire, the screams the pained faces of all those he knew, all of them screaming in agony far beyond their own imagination and those crimson eyes in the darkness, staring at him and mocking him.

No healer they talked to could help him, no Mage they asked knew how to cleanse his mind and no scholar they encountered knew what to call his affliction. It frustrates them to no end that a child has to suffer like this and no one knows what to do to help him, so they do their best to simply give back what he lost, a home, a family and security for both the here and now and the future.

“I‘m starting to feel bad…"

Hardgut stopped his walking as he heard his partner break the silence between the two of them, he didn’t turn around to take a look at her, but he knew Emily had tears in her eyes and he knew what she was about to talk about. Justin had changed them and their encounter with them had opened doors inside of them that they didn’t even know they had, because…

"Before him everything was just so much easier, we would talk we would sing, we would have fun during a commission, but now…" Emily trailed off, not wishing to continue the thoughts swirling in her head. He knows what she means, oh he knows it all to well, this wasn’t the first time they talked about this and he doubts it would be the last time either.

"I know it’s not his fault, and I know I shouldn’t be blaming him, but thinking back I just can’t help it, everything was just so much better and… and…"

"Emily… I know how you fell, but what is done can not be undone, we will simply have to work harder until the times have become better again and then everything will be just as you remember it, even better even, once he is able to sleep fondly at night again, because then we can look at him and say that we did it, we allowed this child to live in peace, not in fear, we just have to hold out until then,"

A heavy silence surrounded them, only occasionally broken by the passing birds overhead.

"But when will these better times really come?" They both say whisper to themselves.

———————————————————————-

Covered by the darkness of the night, only those assigned the duty of keeping watch were still awake inside of the camp, as well as two more, who arrived earlier that day and had been assigned to hand out the supplies they had brought with them, much to their chagrin.

"Not only do they have to break traditions by using us as their pack mules, but they just have to have us also give out their own damn supplies, I swear they are doing this to mock us!" Emily was in a very bad mood right now, not only does have to break steadfast traditions that she values greatly, but she also has to play lunch Lady like she was in an orphanage?

"The adventurers guild had been founded to chart and explore unknown lands, to find and document new species of life and plants not, whatever this is!!"

Hardgut responded with a frown on his face.

He felt the same, obviously, it was no secret that those involved in the military often looked down on adventurers who refuse to change their ways in order to 'truly help the kingdom' as they put it. They both had seen other adventurers who followed their path, get assaulted on the streets before and no one even offered them a hand afterwards, after all, if shoulders attacked someone, they must be the enemy of the kingdom right? That’s their job after all no?

So after such an even, The adventurers often get chased out of the city by a angry mob, believing that the adventurers were enemies of the kingdom, while the army officers rubbed their hands in glee. This was their way to get more adventurers to join their ranks, to avoid this exact fate.

'You can stay as an adventurer, after all we respect the traditions of old, but you will have to do work for us and if you don’t we will publicly accuse you of being a traitor, just as a friendly reminder.'

Absolutely revolting, and yet.

"Face it Emily, we can whine all we want but the world simply has less and less need for true adventurers these days, people don’t need to have the unknown explored anymore because their is nothing left that we can explore, if we want to continue as we are, we have to accept the fate we now carry, there are no more great explorers among the adventurers, only errand boys and exterminators for things the army deems to not be their problem. It’s for the better anyway…"

The words pierced Emily‘s heart and soul, the hurt and betrayal she felt at these words, she couldn’t put into words.

He broke their promise.

"Once we grow up, do you want to become an adventurer with me? Just like my grandpa?!" Hardgut practically screamed into Emily‘s face, their nearby parents chuckled at the display of eagerness, while Emily herself was a bit more reserved at the prospect.

She had listened to the same stories and tales as he had, her taste to go out into an adventure and discover the unknown and fight terrible beasts had grown just as unsatisfied as his has, but she had seen what he had not, and being alone in the wilderness, only surrounded by the horrors of the unknown?

"O-only if you stay at my side and never leave me alone…"

"Obviously!! I wouldn’t  leave you ever, it’s a adventurers promise!! We‘ll adventure into the unknown together and then we’ll come back with so much cool and amazing stuff…"

At that point she simply let herself be dragged by the excited Hardgut, of course he would never leave her alone, he was her best friend after all, they would never separate, they would become the most well known adventurers together.
 
Tears streamed down her face, unable to understand or come to terms with what Hardgut had just said. How could he say things like this? He had promised her that they would be adventurers together and that they would become famous together, that they would see many new and unknown places and things and he just… wants to give up?

Her vision blurs as more and more tears start to build up, she was starting to hyperventilate and her body was shacking. He would actually abandon her now? After all this time? Was all of this just that unimportant to him?

Was she so unimportant to him?

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"…if we want to make sure Justin is able to live a life worth living we have to continue providing him all we can, until he is capable to stand on his own feet and…"

'There he talks about him again, he clearly cares far more about him then he cares about you, I‘d argue he never cared about you in the first place.'

"…I want to make my grandfather proud just as much as you do, but… Justin is far more… unable to let you… he will come with… once he…"

'This was all part of his plan, he doesn’t care about you and he‘s already planing to replace you, in his eyes you‘ve already served your purpose, you are now irrelevant to him.'

Emily was feeling sick and she had to hold the urge to throw up, everything felt so wrong, the things Hardgut were saying hurt so much, but her own thoughts started to sicken her even more. This was the man who almost lost his own arm trying to save her from a Roland Tiger attack, the same man who she drank and sang with nights on end in the taverns, the man who promised her to never leave her alone, he wouldn’t do such things would he? She knew he wouldn’t do such things!

'He only ever cared for his own profits, our wishes stand in his way of those profits, so he needs to get rid of you, replace you.'

Her world was spinning, the voice inside her head grew louder and louder, while everything else seemed to get quieter, everything else turned into meaningless background noise for her as she tried desperately to fight of the voice inside her head, all of this wasn’t right! Couldn’t be right! She knew he would never do any of this…

'And yet he broke the promise we made didn’t he? He promised us we would be great adventurers together and he broke it.

He promised we would discover and explore unknown places, study unknown life and he broke it.

He told us he valued adventuring above anything else, promised us he would go on any adventure with us regardless of the pay, but now he Scans the commissions board only for the ones with the highest payout. He doesn’t care, only profit matters!!'

It became harder and harder to breathe with every second that passed by, everything was blurry and spinning at the same time, as her world was crumbling around her, nothing made sense anymore, until suddenly, the spinning slowed and the voice in her head seemed to get quieter and quieter and what she believed to be unrecognisable screams in the background, soon evolved into spoken words, words filled with worry and concern.

"Emily, please look at me, what’s going on with you? Why are you crying?"

Hardgut‘s eyes were filled with visible concern and for the first time, Emily actually noticed how wet her face and eyes were, how much she was shacking and how hard she was breathing and she saw Hardgut, holding her close, constantly asking her what was wrong and what‘s going on.

This was the Hardgut she remembers, the one risking his own safety to rescue her, the one taking in a kid that has been traumatised by horrors beyond what she could ever comprehend, just so the child could get a somewhat normal life.

How could she have ever doubted him so much? How could she accuse him of such things? What in the world had come over her to have such thoughts? Even now, when he’s clearly holding her close, trying to calm her down, speaking reassuring words into her mind, she still hears, albeit faintly, the dark whispers from earlier, telling her he is just using her.

She started to feel sicker then ever. Disgust, shame, anger and frustration build up higher and higher, but this time it was directed at herself, nothing in this moment made sense anymore and she was simply overwhelmed by it all and so she couldn’t hold it back anymore, sobs and wails of sorrow and hate erupted out of her, she took hold of Hargut‘s body pressed both of them together as close as it gets.

She is faintly aware how this action only dirties the cloths Hardgut is wearing, another affront against him completely unjustified and made out of her own selfishness and as a result she tightened the hug even more to impossible levels.

Hardgut himself remained quite, simply holding the crying Emily close, moving as little as possible, much like how he would handle Justin after one of his nightmares or panic attacks, he knows he simply needs to stay close for now and so he does.

 

————————————————————-

"You‘ve changed you know…"

"What are You telling me next? That water is wet?! You think I didn’t notice myself either?"

Telling her the obvious wasn’t going to help anyone around here, but she was in a far to good mood right now to actually care, or more precisely, a better mood then she had been previously, after she had her fun with that one soul she had shared a cell with she had been feeling better then she had in a long time and while she couldn’t really shack that uncomfortable feeling in the back of her mind, that something was very clearly different, it didn’t let her bother her to much at first.

Then however she was rudely reminded that someone was missing from their group again and after inquiring about it and learning that Luisa didn’t know either, her mood had rather quickly plummeted, enough so that she stopped playing with her newest toy, and broke them all out of their cell, she had offered the poor soul a chance of freedom, but he was clearly way to traumatised to actually start walking away into freedom again.

"Well… Your old self most definitely wouldn’t have kept that one idiot alive and to see you not intervene in that one argument to try and escalate it was also rather surprising so…"

Hanna stopped her marching and turned around to look at her company who almost bumped into her, not expecting the sudden stop, and she met Hanna‘s stare.

They were barley a few minutes away from the army camp and they could possibly still be discovered by one of the sentinels keeping watch at night, but Hanna needed to test what she had in mind right here, right now. So she took this risk.

"Does that upset you or something? Do you possibly have problems with my new form of acquiring entertainment?"

For a breath of a moment, she saw the iris‘ of Luisa darken, like they had been swallowed by a darkness yet unknown to this world And then Luisa started shacking slightly and coughing wildly as she tried to speak.

"I-it‘s just yo-you never did t-things like this, like this be-before an-and…"

The coughing only grew worse with every word she spoke, eventually she simply fell to the floor withering as coughs wrecked her body. Luisa wasn’t ill, Hanna knew that much and to suddenly see her falling to the floor erupting into a coughing fit to rival any coughing fit before it, right after an unknown darkness clearly affected her?

She should be concerned or confused and while she was plenty confused it wasn’t because of what was happening before her, but because of what she was feeling.

She was feeling proud of herself, like she was looking at a piece of art that she herself created. That confused her massively, since she didn’t do anything did she? This wasn’t even the first time this happened.

When she first noticed those to people argue in the tent she had wished silently for it to escalate, to come to more and more misconceptions more fighting more arguing more self loathing and hatred, it had been absolutely delicious to see exactly that happen and back then to she had felt proud, like she was the cause for it all, it had confused her so much she simply left, trying to figure out just what happened and now it happened again.

This was clearly not a coincidence, she clearly did something, but what she did, she didn’t know, for now it was just another part of the pile of questions she had, ever since she had spoken with that doppelgänger of hers.

For now though, she simply grabbed Luisa and started to carry her away Infothek darkness, less her coughing would attract any of the nearby sentinels.

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