Chapter 4: |003| – Nothing.

The monotonous chug of the engine came to a forced halt. A black opaque column of smoke rises from the radiator and from the gaps of the car's hood. Soon that too disappeared from sight, the light making visible the path forwards fades with a loud click as the vehicle's battery is fried in a scorching barbecue.

 

The door opens slowly as Elgan exits the dying transport. The heat from the outside makes a rough contrast with the dissipating artificial bubble created by the A/C, it had made him forget the real ambient outside... Elgan grabbed the upper part of his suit from his hips and pulled upwards, throwing it to the side of the road. At this point hanging around with rags won't please anyone.

 

He estimated his orientation was correctly aligned. The veil of darkness is such that he may as well be blind. Luckily for him, there was a small flashlight in one of the car's compartments.

 

| Click |

 

Useless would have been a good adjective to describe its purpose in the case of facing any serious menace, its range didn't reach more than a few feet. Though it was still better than nothing.

 

['Let's go.']

 

Elgan didn't look back at that car. He wasn't going to turn back, because he convinced himself that he wouldn't regret it. He wouldn't regret unveiling the truth behind this apocalypse, nor would he regret finding out what really happened to his family. Whatever occurred from now on, that was it.

 

His eyes took their time to adapt to the scarce lighting of the outside, not that they could do much anyways. The black background that acted as the sky remained unpierced by the stars that should be hanging above. The mountains on the horizon were the only mildly distinguishable feature of the terrain. Locating danger up to mid-far range was simply impossible, he would get crushed before I ever knew something was coming.

 

Fortunately, he still had his ears with him. In case something appeared, sound would be the key to survival.

 

Hours pass quickly in the never-ending scenario of crawling a way through the sidewalk. His rhythm remains the same, the void remains the same, and everything on the outside is stuck frozen in time but Elgan Klein. Avoiding any complicated thoughts, his silhouette advances through the darkness in a fragile equilibrium, a cliff to say. Not relaxed enough to fall prey to sleep, not agitated enough to think.

 

['We are still weak, you'll soon realize.']

 

But he doesn't understand, because he doesn't want to understand, doesn't need to understand either. The kid is tired.

Like a tide. With each step forward his swollen knees and feet scream in suffocation. His fatigued condition was a clear sign that he should have gotten sleep back when he found himself in relative safety.

 

Elgan can't go back though, he'll just have to swallow the pain. His body sways to the sides, breaking off valance every few steps, his mind snapping each time he relaxes too much. His eyelids feel much heavier.

'Once I get there... It'll be hell. I should rest now that--'

 

"Ughm?"

 

A burning sensation spreads in Elgan's chest, he feels his legs lighter and his body floating.

 

"Wha-t in..."

 

Something is dripping, he looks down. A pool of guts and blood was unevenly distributed through the floor, his own lower half lying away from him, scattered in the pitch-black concrete. A single bulging claw impaled him through the chest, and that smile, those maniacally obsessed eyes gazing down at him.

 

"No wa-y."

 

'How did he sneak up at me? I didn't even hear its approach. Is this how I'll die? Is this why I stopped that car? Did I trade away my life for two miserable steps?'

 

The kid's eyes shake in turmoil. Once again death was peeking through the window, its blurry face revealed ugly cracks in his will. It had been a quick and total defeat. Elgan closed his eyes and accepted his failure. By the time he had opened them again, everything had already disappeared, the blood, the guts, the injury, the monster.

 

Gone. None of it was real.

 

...

Several minutes pass as hours, his mind tries to make a sense of what just happened. Elgan's breathing should have relaxed knowing he was back to safety, he should find joy in the fact he was still alive. And yet, his heartbeat only accelerates in the fury of defeat.

He can grasp the deeper meaning of that which just happened. The words he said became true, it's a weak facade, isn't it? A single fake loss had been enough to obliterate all resolution and motivation. All that remains is the same question.

Why not run away?

 

['You haven't seen hell just yet.']

 

'Why not escape with your life? Why not give up? In fact, give up. Turn around. We need to find help, I'm sure if you give up and run you will--'

 

"DO NOT TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!"

 

Elgan screams to the top of his lungs, veins popping on his forehead. The survivor's thoughts become clear for a couple of seconds, but the chilling emptiness left behind is the perfect ground for breeding yet another nightmare.

Real or not, Elgan can feel those chilling eyeballs watching him from somewhere his senses can't reach. Preying on his weaknesses, playing with him like the dumb walking corpse he already was. The void won't stop staring back.

 

|Clack|

 

Elgan grits his teeth at the veil of darkness stalking him in every direction. The decision to not bend pushes him forwards, he continues to advance.

 

| Pierce |

 

He stumbles to the ground as his leg is cut off with lethal force, and unending pain flourishes from his chest. He clenches his teeth harder, blinks, then it all disappears.

 

The thirst for death can be easily quenched by the shadows, with just one step. Delivered from any direction, continuously. Each step is one meaningless end, a nightmare, a realization, and another step. The cycle repeats itself like an unwavering ancient mechanism.

 

['We cannot collapse here.']

 

Anxiety? Tiredness? Madness?

The difference between them all became abstract.

 

Minutes piled up under the torrent of sweat and fake blood, all attempts to rationalize pain ended in failure. Elgan was scared shitless, worse than he had been in his entire life. A tired, exhausted, confused, crazed, broken human.

Yet somehow, being as crapped as he was, the kid hadn't fallen back, not a single inch.

There was something within him, that spirit leaving in his sowl. Perhaps some other raw, primitive wiring deep in his mind he had never bothered to uncover before. Piece by piece, the bearer understood to harness the power of his mind.

 

Elgan had exactly nothing to lose, but a mission. His death was irrelevant. He had something to win though.

 

"Back u-p!"

 

The plan drew itself on the board, it looked wild, ugly, and brutal. But it was simple, and simplicity was what he needed at that same moment.

Each movement from now onwards meant a battle, a nightmare, an illusion, and facing something he didn't want to. Also, each step meant a small victory. An atomically minuscular victory, that would propel him forwards.

 

| Step |

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...

He'd always known that like cockroaches, fears hide in the shadows, under the rocks, hidden from plain view. They are beings of treason, they will only rise against you at your weakest.

Fighting a product of his decaying thought process, a remnant of his collapsing sanity. The imaginary attacks continue raining down upon him.

 

| Step |

 

Crushed by their bodies, eaten and chewed by their mouths, crushed by their legs. Only when Elgan relaxed his senses did they make an ambush. Lurking somewhere he couldn't sense, approaching silently, choosing the least expected option would in itself be too predictable, instead, they evade any pattern and focused only on delivering a painful ending.

 

| Step |

 

Yeah... Death enjoys splashing its grotesque art in bursts of black, and each advance makes up for a fresh new canvas.

 

| Step |

 

'I wonder which of us will win though.'

 

| Step |

 

Followed by his beating heart, the kid takes one last step, his body munched in half, blood splatters everywhere, yet the grin on Elgan's face won't leave. Ignoring the deafening pain, refusing to blink, the kid's eyes lock onto the creature's. Its bloodshot eyeball glaring ominously from the shadows, its smile gone, replaced by some other lurking emotion.

 

' I win. '

 

Then blink. After what seemed like days on end of relentless death, the youth had obtained his first real victory. Elgan for once knew they were gone. Or have they?

 

The slight grin collapses over what stood before him. Nightmares are over.

 

| Clap |

 

Elgan's flashlight drops to the floor, its light flickering and dying a couple of seconds later. Too late though, he has already seen the unmoving body, the sight now engraved in his pupils. There are no nice surprises in hell, and this was no exception.

 

['Demons never felt terror...']

 

Paralyzed. Looking at death straight in the eyes makes him unable to move his body, he is but a mere puppet to the demon. For the next few minutes, he remains unmoving, he focuses on his breathing in a lame attempt to calm himself down. He reopens his eyes hesitantly, the episode of stress seems to be over. For now at least.

 

"I must keep going, right?"

 

The survivor resumes walking, his legs shaking visibly. He makes a detour around the mangled mess of flesh, but his eyes keep slipping back to that ever unmoving pile of skin and bones. He walks even faster, clenching his jaw.

 

['Running away again.']

 

Then he halts. His gaze set on the asphalt, terrified to look anywhere else.

 

['It must be terrifying...']

 

Sweat piles up in a pool under his feet.

 

['Every second you look at death's eyes you can't help but think about the possibility that they too are gone. Still, I know it for a fact. There is no other way anymore. If you do not face that demon right behind your back...']

 

Elgan is about to do something, even though he knows he won't have the guts to do it.

 

['You can keep running, hiding, and dodging, but no matter what, death will always come back.']

 

His eyes shift to point in the direction of the carcass, its expression fully present in his view. There is no need for light, the kid can somehow perfectly see it. For some reason, her eyes won't stop glaring down at him, judging Elgan's soul from the heavens or wherever she was now.

 

| Sgh-ghaah |

 

Elgan opens his mouth, violently gasping for air, the tension made him forget to breathe. The smell of lingering decay was embraced by his asphyxiating lungs.

 

Elgan kneels abruptly, his eyes glued to her body. Once young facial features became distorted and corrupted, those skeletal hands remain affixed on her ears, her mouth fully open, revealing her throat.

She died crying in agony.

 

For a slight moment, Elgan's gaze hovers past her reddish hair. With a blink, her face has been replaced by his sister's. The kid impulsively falls back in horror before realizing it's just another play of his mind. Hoping it is just another play...

 

['Conquer this devil. Or bend your knees for eternity.']

 

...

It was that simple. It always had been.

 

"Bend for eternity..."

 

A step nearer. Her white pupils remain unmoving, staring at him. Another one, and another one.

 

"Try shitass-!"

 

A spark grows into a blazing inferno, and with a last bloody cry, Elgan dares stand before his fear. Can't stab anyone from the back anymore. The demon was made of smoke, once he gazed at its fuming cyan eyes, he, at last, understood the futility of its existence.

It can't hurt you. Not here at least, not right now. It will glance at you, hidden behind those white, lifeless pupils, from the shadows, where the cockroaches hide.

 

With a puff of smoke, the illusion went back to sleep.

 

...

The reaper won't come to pay a visit unless he is given a reason to. Although, one day, it eventually will. And once it does...

 

"I hope- I have- nothing to regret by- then."

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