Chapter 4: Chapter 4: Confrontation with the Truth

Iruka fumed as he stalked down the street. He’d spent the better part of the day searching for the bastard, but had yet to find Kakashi anywhere. None of the local vendors had seen him, none of the ANBU Iruka had actually stumbled across knew where he was – or weren’t telling him, in any case. The only useful information he’d gotten from the missions desk was that Kakashi had been completing his missions much faster than usual for about a week, which could be explained any number of ways.

A flash of orange made Iruka pause and turn. He frowned again, seeing Naruto hopping off down the street instead of the small novel he was hoping for. Iruka turned back down the street, continuing his storming – and promptly froze as the object of his search came into view. He was standing in plain sight, quietly talking with an ANBU just down the street.

Iruka felt his anger build again. Any student in Konoha could testify that Iruka’s voice doubled in volume on a whim, then tripled from there if he was truly mad. Half the children in the village dove for cover purely on instinct as that voice roared over the crowd. “KAKASHI!”

The people on the street between the two ninja froze a moment before quickly clearing a path to the accused. Kakashi, for his part, managed a cross between surprise and indifference, all portrayed in his single eye and the way he held himself. “Is there something I can do for you, Sensei?”

Iruka closed the distance in a second, harshly grabbing the other man’s arm. “We need to talk,” he whispered, his voice now a menacing quiet. “Now.”

Kakashi nodded and shifted to hold the chunin’s wrist. His free hand flashed through seals and the two disappeared in a puff of smoke. Kakashi didn’t release the startled man until the smoke cleared, revealing the man’s apartment door. Iruka glared at the masked man and made no move to let them inside. Kakashi just tilted his head to the side. “You wanted to talk, right? Considering the discussion material, don’t you think we should be in private?”

Iruka spun to the door, undoing the locks with a few quick gestures. Still too angry to care, he shoved the door open and went inside. Kakashi kept the door from slamming into the wall and followed the teacher, making sure to secure the locks again once he was inside. Iruka spun on him again with a glare, his anger fueling the argument as he spoke. “What the hell do you think you were doing last night? There are rules, Kakashi! There is a way to do things!”

The copy nin interrupted him. “I’m well aware of your rules, Iruka. I’m even beginning to understand why you have them.” The chunin opened his mouth, fully prepared to continue yelling, but Kakashi wasn’t done yet. “I know, for instance, that you come up with new traps and locks as often as you can, trying to keep your visitors out every night.” Iruka’s eyes narrowed, but he fell into silence. “I know that you tried to fight at first, but you don’t bother anymore.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about. Do you honestly think I’m so weak that any of this would happen if I didn’t allow it?”

Kakashi shook his head, still the picture of calm. “No. I know that your skills are good enough to qualify you as a jounin and, in fact, you’ve been invited to take the test more than once. I don’t know why you refused exactly, but give me time, I’ll figure that out too.”

“Then you know perfectly well that I could fight off anyone-“

“Now, maybe, but not when this began.”

Iruka’s face paled, shock playing across his eyes. Suddenly the chunin pounced, attacking the jounin with a fury. The ferocity of it took Kakashi by surprise as he was forced back. Kakashi had to dodge two kunai before he was able to disarm the other man, forcing him to the ground. Iruka snarled – actually snarled – as the jounin straddled his legs, holding his arms to the side firmly. Defeated, Iruka slowly relaxed, focusing on his breathing, trying to calm down.

Kakashi didn’t look disinterested now. In fact, he was dead serious, staring down at his captive. He sighed, loosening his grip without releasing the other. “Why don’t I tell you what I’ve figured out, and you can tell me if I’m right or wrong.” The chunin just glared; Kakashi chose to take this as agreement. With another sigh, he thought back to what he had pieced together. The first was simple enough. “I’m guessing that Mizuki never kissed you. That’s why you won’t let anyone claim your lips, it’s one of the only things you still associate with real love.”

Iruka pulled his arms suddenly, nearly freeing himself. Unsuccessful, he quieted again, giving no response to his captor’s theory.

Kakashi pushed on, undeterred. “The reason you don’t fight back took a little more thought, but I think I’ve got that one figured out, too. It’s not because you’re too weak to fight them off. And it’s not because you’ve accepted this as the only way things can be,” his voice and eyes both dropped, “I hope.” Meeting the other’s eyes again, he forged on. “There’s something else. Some other threat that makes you accept all this. Your students, maybe?”

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Iruka cut into the conversation and Kakashi sighed. The fact that he would deny the guess merely confirmed its accuracy. “Shut up, Kakashi, you have no idea what you’re talking about. Get off of me and get out!”

Kakashi merely shook his head, bringing up his last point. “The hardest to figure out was the blindfold. I’m not really sure why you impose it on yourself, but I have two theories. One is your eyes; they’re very expressive and I’m certain you’re aware of that.” Iruka looked shocked again at the words and his face quickly drained to an expressionless mask, clearly something he had to actively think about to accomplish. Kakashi frowned, but kept speaking. “So I think you might be hiding the pain from them. Then again, it might be more for your own sake. Is it easier to pretend it’s Mizuki if you can’t see their face?” Iruka’s face twitched, but quickly returned to its blank look. “You want to believe it’s still him and not the others, so you remove their face from the equation.”

“Get off of me, Kakashi.”

The jounin pushed ahead, knowing he’d have to consent to the demand soon or risk the other man becoming violent again. “It’s just like when I came here last night. I thought you were surprised to see me, but you weren’t. You were disappointed. You thought better of me, or at least you wanted to, and seeing me waiting for you threatened that. If you couldn’t see my face, you could pretend I was someone else, someone you’ve already accepted as irredeemable-“

“I said get off!” Iruka’s muscles tensed again, trying to overpower his captor.

Kakashi leaned more of his weight forward to keep him pinned. “Calm down! Iruka, I want to help you!” The struggle eased slightly, but the blank look still on his face was disturbing to the battle-hardened shinobi. “Look, all right, you don’t have to tell me if I’m right. You work with children, how about a trade?” Iruka’s struggles died away more, a quiet rage filling his otherwise lifeless eyes. “You can go first, like truth or dare. Any one thing I’ll do and then it’s my turn, all right?”

The teacher’s face darkened ever so slightly and he lowered his chin. “Get. Off. Me.” Kakashi finally loosened his grip, shifting to the side until he was sitting next to the man’s hip instead of on top of it.

Kakashi lowered his head. If Iruka wasn’t going to open up, he only had one question. “Iruka, is Mizuki the one who started this?”

The chunin hadn’t moved, still staring at the space where Kakashi had been a minute before. Slowly he turned just his head, taking in the masked man. “Let me see your face.”

It was an effort to control the frown that threatened the jounin at the demand. “Now, Iruka, you haven’t given your truth yet.” When the other man’s gaze didn’t falter, Kakashi let out another sigh. Slowly, he lifted one hand, tugging the black cloth down to rumple against his throat. The two men stayed there, staring at one another for quite some time without moving. Kakashi was steeling himself for the teacher’s next demand, losing hope that he’d get an answer at all.

Then something in the chunin’s eyes broke and his face crumbled. It was as if a dam had burst and Iruka could no longer hold back the emotions. Or the tears. “It was my idea, the first time . . . We were good friends and I wanted . . .” Kakashi surged forward, wrapping his arms around the trembling man, pulling him close to his chest. There was no stopping the words now and Kakashi just offered what comfort he could. “When he came to me again, there wasn’t much I could do . . . he knew how much I wanted to become a teacher . . . if anyone found out . . . After a while, it was just easier not to fight . . .”

Kakashi was rocking slightly, as he would with a crying infant. His hands trailed lazy circles on the man’s back while he made shushing noises. He’d gotten his answers, though he had hoped for a better situation. Although, looking at it in hindsight, he didn’t really see the confession coming any other way. “Shhh, Iruka. We’ll think of something, it’s going to be all right. It’ll be okay. Shhh.” It was a minute before the man’s tears ebbed away and another before Kakashi realized it was because he’d fallen asleep, exhausted by the confrontation.

Quietly he smoothed back the brunette’s hair, undoing the ponytail and working his fingers through the knots. Neji’s words were echoing through his head as he pulled at the collar of the teacher’s shirt. He’s never been marked where people could see, but that doesn’t mean he has no scars. His back, especially, as well as his thighs. One such scar, thick and twisted running from shoulder to shoulder across his spine, was barely hidden by the thin cotton. Such an injury would have affected the teacher’s performance for days afterward, most likely making even simple movements painful. Neji had mentioned this scar specifically, saying it had been gained just before Naruto’s class graduated. Kakashi struggled to think back, trying to remember if he’d noticed the chunin moving strangely around then. The truth was he couldn’t recall noticing the man at all. Kakashi continued to stroke the man’s back, calling up every memory he could of the teacher. Had he really been so blind to the man’s suffering? Well, it wasn’t as if anyone else had known what was going on either. So why did Kakashi feel so personally responsible?

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