Tom had to try harder to open his parched lips. His tongue was getting more numb. But he had to speak. The moment he stopped speaking, that was the moment he would die.
“I want to live longer.”
The fire continued to burn. Carynne shook her head, picked up Thomas’ dismembered head and threw it into the fireplace. The flames grew wild as the corpse’s flesh melted off.
She clicked her tongue and turned the head upside down. Fortunately, this fire wouldn’t grow as big as a kitchen’s. Fire was difficult to handle after all.
“Ah, Tom. How about dying through fire? I’ve experienced it before. The pain is excruciating, but it ends faster than being stabbed by a knife.”
“I… I won’t say anything! Really! Please!”
“You’re still going on about that?”
Carynne sighed as she pulled Tom through his clothes. The child tried to rebel, but his numb body wouldn’t listen.
“Don’t you have anything else to say?”
“I really won’t say… Huh?”
Carynne closed her eyes. She was like this, too. But in the end, it’s all the same. And it was obvious that it would be more difficult to keep this child alive now. You’ll be saved next time. But not now.
“If I can’t say anything, isn’t that okay?”
Chiiiiiik. At the terrible sound, Carynne took her hand off him.
“P-Pease sa’f me, I won’t sf’eak.”
Tom put a burning piece of lumber into his mouth. He showed how he wouldn’t speak. The fire burned his mouth in an instant, and now, Tom could no longer make use of his tongue.
Slap—
Carynne hit Tom hard on the back of his head. The black piece of wood popped out. However, the smell of burning flesh was already strong.
She frowned. How futile.
You’re going to die anyway. In a month. Like an insect, worse off than your father. That’s why I have to kill you now. Killing you is an act of kindness. And I can do that for you.
Carynne picked up the syringe. Tom couldn’t talk anymore, only gasping moans continued.
“If I let you live, I’m sure something annoying is going to happen.”
She knew. It’s the truth. Carynne did not trust anyone. This boy could take advantage of any chance to kill Carynne at any time. Even dogs on the street could kill Carynne.
“……”
However, Carynne realized that she was just trying to find enough of a justification to kill this child. She shouldn’t be the one to pass judgment. But she was trying to rationalize her decision by saying that it would be better to kill him now, that it was her obligation to kill him now, that it would be more inconvenient if she did not kill him now.
And she realized that fact. It’s bothersome. Inconvenient. Uncomfortable. Because she couldn’t understand herself.
Carynne delayed her judgment.
“Fine. In the end, you will.”
Die.
Or, harbor a grudge towards her for this.
Carynne was convinced of Tom’s death just as she was certain of her own. He was going to die anyway. Just like her.
She closed her eyes. There was a slight urge to shed tears.
This time again, she would die.
* * *
“Um, Miss Carynne Hare. I don’t quite understand.”
Amidst that prolonged silence, it was Raymond who first found his voice. Even if breakfast had come to a halt due to Carynne’s proclamation. Isella looked at Carynne’s confident appearance. Everyone else had been rendered speechless.
Carynne closed her eyes and continued to speak.
“As this territory’s lord, you have a duty to the orphans, Father.”
The fief lord replied as though struggling through his words. His daughter had dropped a bomb here at this breakfast table, and the fief lord looked as though he wanted to fling his spoon. In fact, considering how he practically slammed the spoon back on the table, it seemed as though he really would have thrown it if there were no other eyes watching.
“Please uphold your duty, Father. You’re the fief lord.”
“Don’t start with me, Carynne.”
“…This is crazy.”
Even Dullan spoke up. Vedic shook his head as well.
Carynne had just now declared that she would like to take in the child of that rapist.
“His face is cute, so I think it’s fine to make him a carriage footman. I’ve also thought about making him a dishwasher or—”
“Carynne, I’ll say this as a fellow woman. Are you insane?”
Even Isella couldn’t hold it in. Isella’s emotions were close to anger right now. There was only so much she could tolerate. This was all so ridiculous that she wanted to grab her by the collar and scream at her to wake up. He’s not a criminal, but he was the son of the man who stabbed her and attempted to rape her.
“This child is not guilty.”
“Gracious, this child is also guilty, Carynne. Everyone gets influenced by their parents. They give their child a name, a legacy, so why do you think that he’s not guilty? It’s obvious when you think that he’s been brought up by such a person. This boy is going to be a criminal, too.”
As he stroked his jaw, Verdic supported his daughter’s statements.
“And, Miss Hare. Pursuing a relationship where a grudge could be formed… wouldn’t be wise. This is my advice as an elder. This isn’t a good idea.”
Carynne raised her chin firmly.
“What I believe is this—I can overcome it all through my love.”
* * *
“What do you think?”
“…About what.”
“About me taking in this child.”
“It’s crazy.”
“Oh, what a confident answer.”
“…This i…sn’t a joke.”
“Hm.”
Tom’s mouth was badly injured. There was a limit to the first aid she could give him when she didn’t know much. Eventually, she had to take Tom to Dullan.
Dullan refused and said he was busy but, in the end, he started examining the child due to Carynne’s persistent coercion.
With a frown, he looked inside Tom’s mouth. He pushed in some injections, gave a few medicines, and cut off some of the affected areas. The child did not feel any pain even when the blackened flesh was cut off. Rather, there was something else Tom was more afraid of.
“So, what’s the verdict?”
“…I, I can’t say j…ust yet. And from n-now on, go to Milton for this.”
Milton was a doctor who regularly assisted Dullan. He was older than Dullan, but his skills were definitely lacking compared to the younger man’s. At the obvious rejection, Carynne felt slightly offended.
“Why not you?”
“Busy.”
Who’s the one who postponed a mass just because of a scratch?
She didn’t point this out aloud. Although Dullan was incompetent when it came to territorial management, he was still the next fief lord, a priest and a doctor. Even if he did just one of those, that’s going to be a lot of work. Really, not only work, but that noble pride in him wouldn’t allow him to look after a single footman.
Dullan wasn’t the only one who felt uncomfortable seeing Tom. Carynne had to hold back her laughter as she recalled those other people’s faces from yesterday.
Everyone’s expressions changed the moment they saw him, as though they had bitten something filthy inside their mouths. Then, the next reactions were a mix of a little sympathy and some evident loathing. Even so, it was clear from their expressions that they’re keeping their mouths shut, so the only thing that happened was that the atmosphere got cold.
In the end, it was Carynne who lifted the atmosphere once more.