Chapter 83: 83

03. Story of love

“It’s quite nice coming out during the day like this, and it’s all thanks to you, Sir Raymond. I thought this iteration of mine would be spent just working until I die.”

“I’m happy to have helped. It is a man’s honor to alleviate a lady’s hardships.”

“What an exemplary answer.”

He had promised to be honest. When Carynne chastised Raymond’s mechanical answer, he stopped writing and raised his head to look at Carynne. So, Raymond spoke again to her with a slightly dissatisfied expression.

“To be honest, I’m not really happy. I believe that people don’t anymore do useless things when they’re busy. That’s why you’ll be able to have a healthier lifestyle as long as you know the joys of diligent work and the preciousness of everyday life.”

Raymond’s nagging went on and on. Carynne said that she’d give Raymond Baron Ein’s money if he wanted it, but he promised not to touch it. That’s why he shouldn’t care how exactly she’d be spending it, but it seemed like he still expressed his dislike whenever she’d spend it wrongly.

Carynne waved her hand to stop the prolonged nagging.

“Stop it. You’re worse than Dullan. Are you telling me off for being extravagant? I did offer to give you the money if you wanted it.”

“I would have understood if you spent luxuriously on dresses and jewelry, but really. The things you’ve purchased, um. Honestly, I can’t understand at all.”

Raymond had organized the list of the things that Carynne bought. She could tell that he was sighing at the sheer length of the seemingly endless list.

Pointing one finger at him, Carynne stated the obvious.

“You’re looking down on the history of those items. They’re antiques, you know.”

“I’m still not sure about these things. They’re worth nothing, while antiques are worth at least something. You won’t be able to resell any of this.”

It’s apparent that Carynne had developed a vice in buying anything and everything that had a connection with her predecessors. No matter what the price was, she didn’t hesitate to buy them.

Naturally, money flowed out like a faulty leak in the pipes. Raymond was criticizing that in particular.

“Did you perhaps acquire some traits from Mister Verdic? Ah, I don’t mean to reproach you. Like I said before, aren’t my circumstances quite special? That’s why I’m buying everything that has any relevance.”

“…I see. The attorney will be coming to the mansion later this afternoon, and they said they’d like to pay half first and the rest in installments. Baron Ein’s mansion has been auctioned off. He’s now completely bankrupt. I’m just hoping he won’t hang his neck on a noose after this.”

The schedule was tight. Carynne counted on her fingers as she deliberated the remaining days. She’s thinking that perhaps she’d die first before being able to spend all of Baron Ein’s money.

“Tell him he can take his time in paying. It’ll take me more than a year to spend it all, but I won’t have the luxury of time until then.”

“That would be a great comfort to him. Though he might nevertheless hold a grudge.”

Raymond’s countenance was not very bright. Carynne glanced down to observe his face. This was also the first time that Carynne had won this much money. She earned proportionally as much as Raymond’s investment.

“Oh my, but I did that under your order, Sir Raymond. Do you regret it?”

“No, it’s just… I didn’t expect you to win that much.”

Carynne had stayed up for two nights, wondering about how she should make Raymond fall for her. He was treating her coldly, with sharp eyes and a sharp tongue. The only thing she achieved with winning a large sum of money through gambling was heightened caution on his part, hardly making him fall in love with her.

‘I guess, rather than acting like a psychopath, I should have gone down the path of being more pitiful.’

Sitting at the top of the ladder, Carynne let out a sigh. After earning that much money from gambling, she decided to use it on trying to trace her predecessors.

‘If my mother was like me, what about my grandmother, and my great-grandmother as well?’

It wasn’t easy to trust what Dullan had said with the situation here while she was with Raymond. And she didn’t know how to make Raymond fall in love with her.

If she knew that it’s all going to come to this point, she would have been nice from the beginning.

Then again, if she didn’t murder those people, she wouldn’t have come to know the answer she knew now.

‘That look in his eyes, I don’t like it.’

She wanted to nab those eyeballs from their sockets. This was her thought as she stared back at the grimacing Raymond’s eyes.

Raymond had always given her gentle smiles. It was quite uncomfortable and awkward that he was looking at her with suspicion now.

Raymond’s greatest merit was his unchanging consistency. Though it was a new feeling, all she felt now was how inconvenient his attitude towards her was, rather than feeling refreshed.

‘I just want to kill myself already and start the next life.’

But the problem was that suicide was impossible at this time. It’s only in the last chapter of the novel that she’d be allowed to die. Before that time, she had to live somehow. Then, there’s also the problem of how she’d be able to get more answers from Dullan. A problem here, a problem there.

From up on the ladder, Carynne looked down at the crown of Raymond’s head, then she let out a deep sigh.

“You decided to believe, right?”

“…Yes.”

Raymond and Carynne left Verdic’s mansion and were now staying at Countess Elva’s residence. And though they were under her roof, they were independent to some extent because they were staying at the mansion’s annex.

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The countess smiled wryly while saying, ‘A young couple should live separately of course,’ however until this point of time, any contact between them was a far cry from anything sexual.

“In any case, please say that you love me in front of Dullan later. I guess there are still some unresolved feelings.”

“…Yes.”

“You promised to believe.”

“…Yes.”

“Please fix your expression.”

“…I understand.”

Raymond answered as his grip on the pen tightened. His facial muscles twitched. Even though he decided to believe, he somehow still wanted to express his own opinion that Carynne’s words were quite absurd.

“So then… Mm… Right… You repeat the same life, and love… Um… Love might solve it, yes. But then, throughout all that time, it’s possible that I had… treated you… insincerely. That’s why… Um… I will have to love you… and confess… in front of Reverend Dullan.”

Raymond forced himself to say all that. Again, his expression was twitching.

“You know, I think he’ll cry once he hears your confession.”

“…I will try.”

Whatever kind of expression he had on his face, she was making the best out of this. Even with the smallest of things. She slept as much as she wanted, and in her spare time, she researched what she could. And there was also someone here who could help her. Raymond—he’s the one helping her. Though she couldn’t be sure of his thoughts.

Raymond’s eyes were different from how they used to be. For now, she had to doubt whether he truly did love her in the past. But even so, it’s certain that his gaze, as he looked at her, definitely used to be softer. And back then, he couldn’t take his eyes off her. Perhaps it could be said that they were the eyes of an adorable puppy.

“Inside a novel… You repeat your life, and… Yes… I believe it.”

Staring at Raymond’s countenance, Carynne sighed. She was sure that he was like that in the past. Moderately buoyant, moderately comforting. Thinking about it all, Carynne was met with the urge to throw a book right into his face.

“Please endure it.”

“Endure what?”

“The book just now. You were going to throw it at my face.”

“So you know. Here.”

As Raymond was under the ladder, Carynne tossed the heavy book at him, and his hand caught it readily. The old smell of the parchment reached his nose, and its unfamiliarity made him frown.

The title of the book was written in a foreign language, but it didn’t look like an unfamiliar script. While staring at the title, Raymond commented.

“It’s a history book.”

“Rather than history, it’s more like just a record of idle chitchat here and there.”

Carynne answered Raymond as she looked over the vast mountain of books.

The fifth floor of the grand royal library. Carynne had never come this far before. When she went to the grand library before, she did read some books, but the fifth floor could be entered only with special permission. She didn’t expect Raymond to be this helpful. He’s like a ticket in.

Carynne held tight on the ladder and looked down at Raymond’s head. That head looked good as a target. His hair was shiny, and his head was round.

“Then why don’t you start with collating information first?”

Raymond was the one who suggested that they come to a library. It was a different reaction from what she had experienced before.

In the past when Carynne had confessed to Raymond—who was her lover at that point—that she had been living the same life repeatedly, he had comforted her dearly as she trembled in anxiety.

However, the Raymond of the present, who was bound by duty and contract, just tilted his head to the side and gave her a different answer.

“I think it would be better to go to a library first.”

“A library…? Well, I’ve been to libraries a few times before.”

“Let’s look into more information there. As you said, it would be better to focus on investigating your predecessors. If we can’t find anything, then it’ll at least be entertaining.”

However, there was one thing that Carynne and Raymond hadn’t thought of.

“…Women don’t leave many records.”

“At least, I’m glad they hadn’t been commoners.”

And so, Raymond and Carynne spent an entire week at the library with nothing much to show for. Records usually followed patriarchs, not matriarchs. Of all things, why did she have to be born as a woman? Carynne wanted to cry.

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