Respawn Condition: Trash Mob

Chapter 115: Chapter 115: Unicorn


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As my rapidly decaying body spirals down into the darkness below, I watch as the silhouette of thief-girl becomes smaller and smaller above me, as I fade into the depths. Her waving arm and her warm, heartfelt smile bid me adieu as the dungeon consumes me once more. The last thing I see before impact is her hand going to her mouth to blow me another kiss. I can only pray that I die before it can reach m-

 

I die.

 

  Blessed be the dark-lord, hallowed be his name for his mercy is infinite. I am unworthy of such kindness. I shoot up into the void, into limbo, returning to the cosmic lobby once again. It’s not that I don’t like the thief-girl or anything like that it’s… wait, no. It’s exactly that. I mean, she seems like a lot of fun to be around, you know? Plus she’s a hard-worker, gotta admire that too. Nothing makes me like people more than them having a good work ethic. Plus she’s always laughing and smiling, so that’s nice too. But I feel like she has the wrong idea for the wrong reasons. Besides, she just likes me because she thinks I’m someone else, I think? So… it would be inappropriate for me to accept her misguided affections.

 

Also, I think she’s icky and has cooties.

 

I float.

 

  Zombies were fun, I liked the graveyard. But all the while as I float, I can’t help but feel terrible. I feel terrible because yet another soul was lost because of me. I need to talk to the dungeon-master about that. I can picture poor Miika now, shambling around over the creeping ice. I shake my head, metaphorically speaking to get the image out of my mind’s eye. There is nothing I can do about it from here.

 

  Instead, I opt to think about something else. Something rosier. Something more beautiful. Like… the surface. I wonder what it’s like? I bet it’s like the nicer floors, like the forest or maybe even like the graveyard depending on your tastes. But I bet it doesn’t have a ceiling. I bet it doesn’t have walls. I bet on the surface, you can just go in any direction for as long as you want with nobody watching you, with no time-limit and no constant resetting of the world around me. I bet it’s a place where the things I do cause permanent effects. It’s a little scary, actually. What happens if I die on the surface? What happens if I kill on the surface? Will it be forever?

 

I float.

 

  I suppose everything has to end eventually, guy. Even this cycle of death and reincarnation, I suppose even that has to end sometime. Though, then again it won’t if I don’t make it stop. It probably would never end if I didn’t try to stop the wheels from turning. Is that a metaphor? I guess it is in some ways, guy, tell you what. But then again, you know. Either I stay down here forever, trapped in a cycle of rebirth. Or I fight my way up to the surface and… I don’t know. Maybe I’ll get trapped in another cycle of death and rebirth up there, but at least I’ll have room to stretch my legs, you know? Assuming I have legs.

 

  Wow, I just realized that’s a logistics problem for the far future. If I escape the dungeon… will I be ‘locked’ in as the creature I happen to do that as? I mean, every life is a good one if you do your best to make it that way. But I still don’t want to spend the rest of forever as, like… an ooze, or a red-cap. I hate red-caps. Hmm. Oh well, that’s a problem for tomorrow. Figuratively speaking. I think I liked being a zombie though. I guess I do kind of like spooky things like that. Except for all the angst. I think I’m edgy enough that I don’t need bad zombie vibes ruining my groove, you know?

 

But after a floor like the graveyard, I have high-hopes for the future. I hope it’s something cool, like an undead-hydra or like, a giant wolf or maybe a dem-

 

  I rear up high on my hind-legs as I whinny at the majestic rainbow shining high above me; the beautiful construct spanning from one end of the floor to the other and bathing it in a fairy-like brilliance. My long, flowing, mauve mane billowing behind me from the motion, sparkles as the shimmers of light bound off of my radiant, illustrious white coat. My prideful cry echoes around the valley that is filled with large, glittering blossoms like the shine of the sun bouncing off of fresh morning-dew. All of the flowers dance, bobbing up and down with their petals swaying from side to side. Even in the small forest on the far side which seems to be alive, the trees weave from side to side as if along to some melody.

 

  As my hooves return to the ground and my cry grows quiet, I begin to trot forward along the way as I too hear the song. My equestrian body springs up and down as I essentially skip down the road, bright and beautiful rainbow-light refracting off of my golden horn as I too dance along to the rhythm of the miller. As I merrily make my way down the path, I stop as I see the most beautiful sight I could ever hope to see. Well, that’s a lie. Everything is beautiful here! I look in the beautiful puddle and see my own beautiful reflection. I see a strong, pristine unicorn staring back at me, together with the light of the beautiful rainbow above! What a beautiful specimen. It’s perfect!

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  Wait? Is that me? I gasp. I’m perfect! I’m beautiful! Everything is beautiful. I smile a wide unicorn smile and continue skipping down on my merry way towards the only structure that fills the lush landscape.

 

“Hello Mr. Unicorn!” Says a cheerful voice next to me.

 

“Why hello there Misses Flower! How are you this lovely day?” I ask the bobbing flower next to me. Stopping to converse, I begin bobbing up and down as well opposite her rhythm.

 

“Why, I’m just splendid! Isn’t it beautiful today?” she asks joyfully.

 

“Yes! It is! It’s always beautiful!” I laugh. She laughs. I’m not sure there was a joke. Huh? Wait. What. What is this, Guy? What. No. No. I feel sick. I’m gonna throw up.

 

“Mr. Unicorn?” asks Misses Flower curiously, seeing my idle gaze.

 

  I turn to look at her “Oh! My apologies Misses Flower, I was just lost in my thoughts about how beautiful everything is! Most of all yourself!” I laugh. She closes her petals and blushes, turning away and laughing too. Phew, that was close. The thief would never forgive me, but I have to play the game. Everything is beautiful. Everything has to be beautiful.

 

“If you’ll excuse me Misses Flower, I must be on my way! The day is too beautiful and I must see all of it!” I proclaim.

 

“Yes, of course Mr. Unicorn! Will you go to see the miller today?” she asks, peeking out from one of her beautiful leaves.

 

  “Hmm, why yes. I think that would be a beautiful idea! I think I will, thank you Misses Flower!” I say as I trot off down the road, doing a little horsey jig as I prance. I crave death. But not badly enough to want it here. Not in this place. No. Everything must be beautiful here. Smile. Dance. Be happy. Everyone is watching. I look at the many flowers on the side of the road who are all bobbing and dancing with bright, wide eyes that turn to face me as I pass. They wave and I nod to each and every one of them and continue on with my jig.

 

Everyone is watching.

 

 


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