Chapter 15: Emotions

"First things first" Quickly squeezing the pager, Christian searched for Eminem, feeling nostalgic about his voice "I feel like it's been ages..."

1 second...

5 seconds...

20 seconds...

1 minute...

"Shit!" shouted Christian with annoyance, while a vein bulged on his forehead, but without forgetting to change his language to Russian 'No doubt, insulting in this language feels great...'

"*Sigh* finally..." Sighed Christian wearily, looking with satisfaction at the screen that showed results, but a few seconds later, his expression froze for a moment, only for a bitter smile to show on his face "I should have thought about it..."

There was nothing about Eminem, literally nothing.

The search engine gave him the typical 'No results' warning.

Frowning slightly, Christian searched for the bastard who murdered him in his old life, the 'No results' notice appearing instantly, drawing a smile from him.

'It would suck to see your female version... although it would be great to fuck your counterpart, too bad...' Christian thought with a strange smile, quickly exiting Youtube to head towards the Google search engine, searching it for every celebrity from his old life.

30minutes later...

"*Sigh* What a weird shit..."

There is no one from his own world, even the current president is different from the woman he remembers from her old life. The current president is the first black female president, though it must be said that she doesn't look like Michelle Obama that she remembers; the current one is fatter, much fatter, plus her features are completely different.

But the funny thing is that all the surnames of the big families in money and politics are the same, even the surnames of famous companies remain the same.

Something similar happened with the important brands, most of them remained iPhone, Gucci, Louis Vuitton... or rather Louisa Vuitton, who did change in this world, even this Trump organization.

"Let's see... The weird ones"

Christian searched for the band his mother loved so much on YouTube where thousands of results appeared. He quickly clicked on the first song that came up.

Minutes later.

"What great music..." Christian murmured with sparkling eyes "The drums, the hoarse voice of the vocalist that forces when she raises her head, the sound of the digital piano... everything is perfectly balanced, with a somewhat classic drum sound, but without forcing it... it makes you believe that at some point the cymbal tone will increase, but it always keeps you in suspense and interested... it even has a great Bass added by some Beatmaker... I do not doubt that in my world it would be a big hit... but most importantly... that vocalist... she's hot!"

"Mom-!" Christian exclaimed excitedly, quickly raising his gaze to where his mother should be, only to cut off his words as he realized she left at some point "Where did she go?"

"Hailie! Where's mom?"

"She went to get daddy"

Hailie replied lazily, not for a second taking her eyes off the television.

"That piece of shit is already causing trouble..." Christian muttered with a frown, then shook his head and turned his attention back to the cell phone, thinking to enjoy all the songs of this band.

...

Outside the motel room where Christian and his family reside, Eva could be seen standing in front of the door of the continuous room, nervously listening to the cries coming from inside, instantly recognizing his man's voice.

"What should I do..." Eva murmured conflictedly, staring at the door with a pained expression "*Sigh* I have to put a stop to it..."

* knock* *knock* *knock* *knock*

"I'm coming!"

A scream was heard from inside the room, as footsteps sounded closer and closer to the door, but the crying never stopped.

*Clank*

"Yes?" ahead peeked from the doorway, with a wary look to the outside, only to turn his gaze to the person and raise his eyebrows with recognition "Oh, it's you... Do you need anything?"

"David... How's Brayan?"

Eva asked with concern, completely ignoring the man's venomous tone.

"How should he be after the way you treated him?" David asked with a sarcastic tone.

"Would you please stop meddling in our affairs?"

Eva replied with a frown, looking annoyed at the man in front of her.

"I couldn't care less about your business, but I consider Brayan a friend and I won't let you walk all over him"

"What the fuck do you know!" Eva shouted in annoyance, then put her hand on the door and pressed down on it "I'm not going to bother with you, I'm coming for my man and I'm out of here!"

"Don't you dare!" David shouted from the other side, quickly pushing the door shut, causing a struggle with Eva.

"Shit!" Eva exclaimed angrily, pushing hard on the door, only to end up frustrated when she realized it had the lock on, causing it to only open slightly "David, stop fucking around and open the fucking door!"

"Fuck off or I'll call the police!" shouted David, showing from the doorway his cell phone where the emergency number is already dialed.

"I just want to have a conversation with Brayan!" Eva exclaimed angrily but stopped struggling with the door.

"And I just want you to fuck off!" shouted David, instantly slamming the door "If he wants to talk to you, he'll get to his room, now stop bothering and get the fuck out!"

"..." Eva stared at the door, her face red with anger, as her fists clenched tightly in frustration.

*Pa*

"You fucking bitch!" shouted Eva with a dark expression, kicking the door hard, then turning and walking towards her room.

...

"Nanananana~ Batman~" chanted Christian happily, as he slowly stirred the rice in pot.

A few minutes had passed and the smell of burning reached Christian's nose, causing him to stand up in a panic to look at the rice, realizing that, although the water dissolved, they were still not fully cooked, so he added half a cup more and stirred the pot. It was quite a struggle to get to the pot though, as the cooker was on a piece of furniture, far out of reach for Christian's small stature, causing him to have to carefully climb over the edges, even now he finds himself leaning over the furniture while stirring the rice.

*Clank*

"Mn?" Hearing the sound of the door, Christian turned his gaze, meeting his mother's dark expression "Everything okay, Mom?"

"Yes-" Eva replied instantly, but the moment she turned her gaze towards her son her voice cut off, as her expression turned to fury "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!?"

Rushing quickly to Christian, Eva grabbed him in her arms and pulled him down from the furniture, directing her furious gaze towards him.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING!!!?"

"M-mom-"

"Don't talk!" This time she lowered her tone of voice a little, but still glared angrily at her son "What if you had fallen!!!! or if you had been burned!!! don't you think about that shit!!!"

"B-but mom-"

"I said don't talk!" Eva exclaimed, grabbing Christian by the arm to pull him towards the bed "I don't want to hear your excuses, you'll stay in bed until dinner and I don't want to find you watching TV!"

Picking Christian up, Eva threw him towards the bed, then turned and headed towards the rice, as Christian watched her with reddened eyes.

...

Why did you get so angry?

I just wanted to keep the rice from burning.

It's not my fault that she left the rice unattended.

She didn't have to treat me that way...

She's not even my family.

I don't have a family...

I'm never going to have a family...

I don't even mind being alone.

It's all simpler.

Who needs a family?

It's just another burden.

I don't need them...

I lived my whole life without a family, managed to become a successful professional, even almost got a girlfriend, all by myself.

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I guess I can do it all over again.

That's 10 more years of surviving.

It is nothing...

I know they are not my family.

I know I don't need them.

They are strangers to me.

I shouldn't care about anything.

I never cared about anything.

So...

Why is that?

Why does it hurt me so much to think this way?

Why do I feel they are so important to me?

Why does it hurt just to think about leaving my family?

Why do I feel so much pain at the thought of my world without them?

Why do I feel like they were always with me?

Why do I...?

I don't like these feelings.

They are so... irritating.

I hate them.

I hate them.

I despise them.

But I also...

I love them.

I appreciate them.

I don't feel alone with these feelings.

They let me know that there is something more to endure and move on.

I don't know what to do...

Everything feels so confusing.

Mom...

*sob*

I feel so bad...

* Sniff *

Please...

*Sniff*

Enlighten me...

*Sniff*

"Sorry..."

As I felt a cold sadness overwhelm my being, a warm embrace came from her back, while a soft voice reached my ear.

"..."

"I was just a little stressed... that's why when I saw you there I got scared and acted badly..."

"..."

"My prince... sorry..."

Mom whispered dejectedly, as she hugged Christian a little tightly.

"*Sniff* I-I just wanted the rice not to burn *Sniff*" I spoke through tears, as I slowly curled into mom's embrace "B-but you *Sniff* just yelled at me without asking *Sniff* I don't like that, it makes me feel bad, really bad!"

"My prince..." Mom whispered sadly "Mom was wrong... I acted wrong... can you forgive me?"

Turning my head slightly towards mom, I watched her out of the corner of my eye, examining how her beautiful eyes showed tiredness and reflected obvious sadness, causing me to sigh inside my mind, as a pout formed on my lips "Can it be."

"Can it be?" mom whispers in confusion, raising her gaze to me with obvious doubt, observing my childish expression thanks to the pout she willingly creates, causing a big, beautiful smile to form on her face "Oh... What can this poor woman do to make the prince forgive her?"

"It depends on how repentant that poor woman is..." I whispered ambiguously, as all negative thoughts began to leave my mind, causing only the feeling of happiness to flood my body, even trembling slightly from the sudden surge of feelings.

"Mmmmm... What could a poor woman do for a sad prince?" mom whispered with amusement, glancing sideways at my stomach, causing my mind to freeze for a moment "Oh, I know, I just have to make the prince laugh."

"No, wait-" I quickly shouted as I understood the meaning of her words, unfortunately, it was too late, mother's hands already mercilessly assaulted my little belly "Hahaha~!"

I instantly squirmed on the bed, as my mother quickly got up to tickle me all over, causing me to laugh non-stop, while I could observe out of the corner of my eye that my siblings on the side were looking fearfully at this whole scene.

"S-stop!" I screamed through my tears, causing Eva to slowly back away from me, but with a big smirk on her face.

"Oh aren't you sad anymore my prince?"

"No, I'm very happy!"

I smiled forcedly, quickly wiping away the tears accumulated from the intense moment.

"I'm glad!"

Mom commented with a smile, as she lay down next to me-.

"This feeling... it's beautiful" I murmured in a daze, feeling how happiness makes my heartbeat quiet, while a small feeling of ecstasy strangely comforted my body.

I realized that my feelings were out of control.

Part of me wanted to scream and curse for grievances, but another part just wanted to cuddle and be pampered.

I don't know if it is because my body is that of a child, causing my ability to hold back tears or control my emotions to still be deficient, but if I think logically, I doubt it. I can feel how my feelings are much more intense than the ones I used to live in my other life, even in this life as a child, I did not suffer such emotional changes, it all started the moment I awakened my other memories.

Clearly, a while ago my mind was filled with lustful and dangerous thoughts, but from one moment to the next it was all over.

At the same time, I came to feel so much sadness that, somehow, it ended up damaging my body.

I even ended up spitting blood like the Chinese in their novels...

I got to feel so much anger that, for a moment, I ended up losing my head against simple children...

But the most beautiful thing is my current feeling, happiness.

It feels so euphoric and incredible...

I even have the feeling that right now I could do anything I want without any problems as if the world was in my hands.

I feel so alive.

But I can get to feel so bad...

I like all these feelings, but at the same time, they scare me.

Will I do something I'll regret someday?

Most likely yes...

I haven't even been in this world for a day and already I almost screwed up with mom.

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