Chapter 102: Love

~ ZEV ~

It felt like Sasha was tearing off his skin when she pulled away. But he let her take her space and made himself meet her eyes.

Thinking about how the males were going to see her now—as a challenge to him, as well as a prize to be won—had kicked his instincts into gear and everything within him fizzed with the desire to take her, to own her before all the Chimera. His Alpha wanted to howl his possession—and dominate her so she'd concede to his claiming.

But he'd always sworn he'd never use that against her.

"I'm not trying to manipulate you, Sash," he murmured, tracing that gorgeous line down her neck with his thumb. "I want you to see my thoughts, my heart. I want you to know. If you're alone tonight and thinking about me, I want you thinking about how much I love you, not how much I hurt you."

"But you did hurt me, Zev!"

"I know. I know. I'm not saying you can just forget about that. But… fuck, Sash, let me show you why. Let me show you how it was—and why I did it, so you can at least understand."

"I… okay," she whispered, staring at him, her eyes wide pools of warring fear and hope.

He cupped her face with his hands—physical connection would let him communicate the feelings more deeply—and stared into her eyes. "I never wanted to leave you for a second, Sash. You have to know that. Not once."

She bit her lip as he shared his memories…

…That conversation with Nick, and the horrifying images he'd had in his head of all the ways Sasha might die or get hurt…

Her breath sucked in when she saw the graphic way he imagined that teacher taking her.

Then he showed her the day the Team had arrived in Thana, when he was tall and proud as Alpha, so full of his power he was preparing to resist their use of the gateway, to give himself to the Chimera completely… but they'd lost three offspring in as many months, and the Team were helping the mothers recover. And then they'd convinced him that he had to visit Nick, that there was something they'd found that was life and death for the Chimera.

He'd been so stupid to trust Nick… so naïve.

But he'd seen it with his own eyes—the Chimera in the lab, wasting away. The strange mutations that were occurring because fully adult Chimera had somehow flipped a switch in their genetics and the Team didn't know how to switch it back. How it was only a matter of time until someone in Chimera mutated as well and the only way they could study this was to have offspring, more offspring. To study the development of their genetic codes as they aged and identify what had changed in these individuals…

He'd been terrified, asking Nick if he was at risk.

"No, no. Not you. But you're the only one, Zev, that's the point. We got something different with you and we don't know why, or how. You have to pass on your genetics and we have to hope that's what will save them. Because you're the only one who doesn't have the marker for it, and…"

He'd descended into scientific jargon then that Zev had been too stressed, or too distracted to take in. But he understood enough to know… the Chimera that were Zev's age or younger were going to start dying. And unless the Team could figure out why, it spelled the end of their people.

"If we can't turn this around, our owners will pull the plug on the program. We'll have to abandon Thana and leave you all to die. We have to prove we have an antidote to it, Zev, and you're it."

And he'd stood there, knowing it meant leaving his people, understanding that Nick was scared—but also putting pressure on him. He wasn't unaware. He was just… willing to be convinced. Because then he used his own leverage for his own means. Because in the end, he was his "father's" son.

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"Give me Sasha," he said gruffly, a trickle of his alpha authority resonating in the room.

Nick gave him a sharp look because he recognized it. But he didn't say anything.

"You can't have her, Zev. She's not yours."

"You know what I mean. Make me her watcher."

"Do I look like an idiot?" Nick laughed—too hard.

Zev didn't even crack a smile. "No more photos. No more videos. I want access."

"The minute you show up in her sphere they yank her, Zev, I told you."

"I don't mean that I'll talk to her. I just mean, you let me be the one handling her case."

Nick eyed him suspiciously. "You're telling me you think you can watch her without touching her? Without talking to her? Bullshit."

"It'll be easier than this," Zev snapped. "Always wondering where she is, what she's doing, if she's safe. At least if I'm watching, I have access. I can make sure she's okay—your guys can't even tell if she's distressed. I can!"

"The only reason we're watching her is to keep you away from her, Zev," Nick pointed out.

"So, call it… therapy. You let me take care of keeping her safe. I do what you need…"

"And stay no contact?"

"None. She won't even know I'm there."

Nick's jaw rolled. "Then you're going on operations, too. You have to learn how to track in urban environments. And if we train you in that, we need to use you or they'll yank our funding."

It had tickled in the back of his mind, then, that Nick had rolled over far too easily. That maybe this—getting Zev active in the covert operations, their original goal for him—had more to do with why they were pulling him out of Thana than Nick was letting on.

But he hadn't examined it. He'd been too full of his own arrogance and knowledge. He was twenty-one years old, stronger than any human male he'd ever met, and he was going to get to see Sasha, in the flesh, for the first time in two years. He'd stifled his instincts and not let himself question.

And it had brought them all down.

But it had also brought him back to Sasha…

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