Chapter 140: Planning

~ ZEV ~

Kyelle didn't make a sound as she turned away to gather up her clothes and dress, but he could smell the tears on her cheeks and his heart stabbed over and over again.

He'd never led her on. He'd never given her any reason to believe he returned her regard! And he couldn't, now of all times, entertain this. She had to know that! Growling in frustration that nothing in this damned world was turning out the way he wanted, he waited until she'd dressed, then turned to face her.

"I never want to hurt you, Kyelle. You are dear to me. Just… not in that way."

She nodded. "I knew," she said, wiping her eyes. "But I had to… you have to understand, Zev, if there was any chance, I had to know. I couldn't… I couldn't move on until I was certain."

Zev steeled himself. He couldn't let this happen again. If Sasha had seen that… he shuddered to think. "Are you certain, now?" he asked quietly, mercilessly. "Do you need any other signals from me, Kyelle? Because I will give them."

She shook her head and didn't meet his eye. "I'm sorry."

Zev sighed. "You don't have to apologize for—"

"I'm sorry that things could not have been different for us, Zev. I do not apologize for caring about you. There is no shame in finding regard for someone."

Zev blinked. Well, that was certainly true. But he was wary. How to move forward with her without reopening the conversation?

But Kyelle, in the wisdom she usually showed, seemed to brush off the weight that had pressed her shoulders down. She flicked her hair back over her shoulder and walked briskly across the floor to the kitchen. "Do you need a drink? Or some breakfast?"

"If you have time," he said carefully. "I doubt I'll have time to go to the trough today."

She nodded. As she talked, she brought out plates and selected fruit and nuts to offer him. Keeping the kitchen island between them, she pushed a plate to the edge closest to him and nodded at him to take it while she poured milk for them both.

"Have you heard from Gheet?" she said, as if nothing had happened. Zev struggled to switch gears so quickly, but knew it was likely the best thing for both of them.

"Not yet. I'm going to see Dunken when I leave here."

Kyelle nodded. "If he's on the fence, emphasize our planning for the ritual tomorrow. He will be forced decide quickly—which he doesn't like to do. He'll be more likely to leave it if he feels pressed. But then… it could also force his hand. There are risks on both sides, I suppose."

"I'm hopeful Dunken will convince him that Sasha is my heart's song."

Kyelle's hand slipped as she poured the milk and she placed it back on the counter a little more forcefully than necessary.

"You…" she swallowed, looking at the glass she'd just poured. "You called for her?"

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"Yes." Fuck he hated this. Zev folded his arms and watched her. "She's my mate, Kyelle. No doubt of it in my mind, or hers. And my… my body responds."

Kyelle's throat bobbed. "I thought you said you couldn't—"

"I didn't think I could. But the feelings I had the longer I was away from her… I started asking questions when I went back to the human world. And I think… I don't know for certain, but I think they knew I could. That I can. That I am. I think they were trying to avoid me taking her for that reason. They didn't tell me. They've changed how the bond works for me, I think," he said darkly. "But there's certainty in my gut. My instincts know. It's her."

Kyelle took a deep breath, gripped the jug of milk and continued pouring the rest of the glass. "Then it's good that we get all barriers out of the way as soon as possible. I will… She's a good female, Zev. You don't have to worry. You were right to ask me to do it, I'll help her prepare."

Zev's jaw rolled. Under normal circumstances Kyelle would have been his first choice—a stronger, more trustworthy female he had never met. But now…

"I can't divide my attentions, Kyelle. I can't risk it. If you can't do this without… without trying to… trip her up—"

Kyelle hissed and her head snapped up, her eyes flashing. "You think I would discard my integrity because I do not like what's happening? You offend me, Zev. You know me better than that."

He raised his hands, palms towards her. "Sorry. I'm sorry. But I have to ask. This isn't a normal situation. None of us are walking through it predictably."

Kyelle snorted. "I'd say you're being very predictable," she muttered, but before Zev could ask her what she meant, she moved on. She placed the glass of milk in front of him, then began picking at her fruit.

"Is she aware of what's involved, or do I  need to start from the beginning with her?" she asked a moment later.

"I've described the basic structure," Zev said carefully. "But we haven't had time to get into the details. Preparing her for call and response and… the correct way to behave. She knows once we're joined we can't let go of each other. And I doubt she'd slip on that. But it's worth a reminder."

"I've seen her with the males—I know she did not wish to, but she invited Lhars more than once. She seems a little… dense about—"

"Our customs are completely different to hers!" Zev snapped. "She was horrified when she made mistakes, but they were mistakes. She doesn't play games."

Kyelle nodded again. "Okay, then. Tell her to come to me after the midday meal. I'll have her fitted for a dress and we'll cover the traditions. She comes with nothing to offer which isn't going to work in your favor. But your strength is enough for both of you, I think. The Clans are desperate for a new Alpha. If you've convinced the alphas that you weren't taking the mates of other males, and didn't ruin all their females… I believe they will follow you."

Zev sighed. He'd convinced the pack leaders… would they be able to convince everyone else? There was only one way to find out.

"I'm going to attend the trough tonight and answer any more questions the pack leaders haven't cleared up for them. But regardless, we're walking the ritual tomorrow, Kyelle. I'm not waiting. This is happening."

She nodded, but didn't meet his eyes.

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