Chapter 20: Gotta Be a Dream

~ SASHA ~

She was so terrified, as the car careened out of the garage and into the street, she didn't even make a sound. Just held on to the handle above the door and tried to breathe. Unsuccessfully.

Three blocks later he slowed and turned quickly into an alley that cut between buildings, then continued in the same direction on a new street. 

Zev gripped the steering wheel with thick hands that, until a moment ago, she'd thought were beautiful and strong and… and… not weapons. 

In her mind's eye she watched him jerk that guy's head to the side and heard the crack again.

She flinched. She still couldn't take a real breath. 

"Let me out," she said through clenched teeth and a jaw that wouldn't move. "Now."

"No, Sasha. They've got a perimeter. They're looking for you. And they lied to me about giving me time, which means if they take us, they'll split us up. I have to get you out of here."

"Let. Me. Out." 

This wasn't her Zev, it couldn't be. Her Zev had a tender, gentle smile that only turned hot when they were looking at each other and no one else was paying attention.

His jaw set when there was injustice, or someone was hurt. 

He used his hands to stroke and soothe and pleasure. He didn't use them to kill.

"Sasha, listen to me—that was not a man. Not a real one."

Her breath whooshed out of her in a rush, then she sucked it back in. She still couldn't open her teeth. "Yes, he was. He was. I saw him. He spoke. He was bleeding."

"That was a body inhabited by… technology," he said after a hesitation. "An Avatar. A computer that can walk around and make decisions and follow orders."

She shook her head, gripping the door and pushing herself deeper into the seat as the car picked up even more speed. He was going to get them killed! He was a madman! 

"Sash, look at me."

"Let me out."

"Sasha, look at me!" The words seemed to reverberate through the car, vibrate in her chest. They… compelled her. Her head snapped towards him without thought. He met her eyes, not even looking at the road, yet somehow able to keep the car straight and in their lane. "You know me," he said in a low, gruff purr he hadn't had in his arsenal five years earlier. Her heart spasmed and fluttered at the same time. "I don't lie to you. That was no man. And he would have killed you—or taken you to men who would."

She shook her head, but she couldn't take her eyes off him. He checked the road, then met her eyes again. "I just snapped his neck to stop him taking you. It's no different than if you'd pulled that trigger to save me."

She blinked. It was different. It had to be. But she needed to find the words to explain why, and she couldn't. She couldn't think. Her head was buzzing. 

"Babe," he said quietly, reaching for her with one hand, squeezing his thick, strong, deadly fingers over hers where they gripped the seat next to her thigh, "I didn't kill a man tonight, I promise."

Her throat was beginning to pinch. She blinked to clear the blur from her eyes. This was not the time for tears. But the softness in his voice when he said that… 

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It was how the old Zev used to talk to her. 

She'd missed it so much.

Then she wanted to slap herself. She'd just seen him kill a man! Or, at least, hurt him really badly.

Why hadn't the guy screamed? Why did he laugh and tease when his entire body had just been broken?

Why didn't Zev shake about breaking him?

"What… what is going on?" she asked for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. "Who are you?"

Zev's big chest rose and fell like a bellows, and his fingers squeezed hers again before he gripped the steering wheel and ran the car through the turn on a red light.

Sasha gasped and her hand slapped to the window to hold herself upright against the force of the car's turn, but then they were speeding along a main street and he was shaking his head and muttering to himself as he drove. 

"Okay, if we can get another mile away, I'll tell you all of it, Sash. I promise. I just… I need to skip the perimeter and I'm not sure where they set it this time, so… please… just sit still and be quiet for about two more minutes, okay? And then I'll explain everything."

"Y-you keep saying that."

"I know. But you might have noticed, men keep trying to catch me and kill you. I'm trying to keep us free and alive. And once I'm sure we are, I'll tell you all of it."

He glanced at her from the side, measuring her.

She nodded, but only because she didn't know what else to do. It all seemed like a dream. One that was terrifying and made no sense. But in dreams, things often didn't make sense. Yet the dream didn't give up. 

She wasn't going to give up. She wasn't going to give in. She was going to get her answers. "Okay," she said, then swallowed convulsively.

"Good. Good." He sounded truly relieved. "Are you thirsty?"

She shook her head. 

"Okay, then… just stay low in your seat and… pray," he said dryly. 

Sasha slouched lower, remembering the guns. 

They were both silent as he weaved the car in and out of others in the light, late-night traffic. 

Over the next few minutes she lost count of the turns, the alleys, the parking lots and strip malls and back lanes they took. But suddenly, they were taking an on-ramp to the highway and for the first time, Zev wasn't hunched over the steering wheel. He still checked the mirrors and looked around obsessively, but it seemed like he was breathing easier. 

"We did it," he said as they merged onto the highway. "We fucking did it, Sasha.. We dodged them."

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