Chapter 204: Real Life

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*****

~ SASHA ~

Zev didn't stop trembling, and Sasha couldn't breathe—in the most beautiful way.

They lay together, watching each other, barely speaking for the longest time. As their breathing slowly returned to normal and heartrates eased, as the sheen of sweat dried on his forehead, they stared.

Sasha stroked his chest, but her hand kept returning to the center, pressed flat, feeling his great heart thump against her palm—in perfect time with her own. As if he was an echo of her. As if their very bloodstream was linked.

She swallowed, so many questions bubbling to the surface, but she was reluctant to break the perfect silence.

Then she blinked.

You can hear me? she asked tentatively in her head.

He nodded.

Sasha had to bite back tears of joy. What does this mean? For us, I mean? What will this do to us?

I don't know, he replied honestly. Except that it means—I hope it means—I'll never lose you again.

There was real pain, real torment in his tone at those words and Sasha cupped his stubbled cheek.

I hope it means that, too.

At some point they dozed, and when Sasha woke first, it was a joy to just watch him—fully relaxed, though his strength still evident even in sleep. The way his shoulders rounded with muscle, and the cord in his neck…

She had expected that incredible time together to sate her appetite for him, but looking at his naked torso, following the lines of his beautiful body, desire began to pool within her again.

Then Zev blinked awake to find her watching and offered a slow, lazy smile. "Somebody's hungry," he rasped, reaching out for her.

Sasha snuggled into his warm chest and sighed with happiness. She could feel him still, in her mind, in her heart. As if something between them had been removed and there were no more barriers. Holy shit.

She wasn't particularly hungry—not for food, anyway—and she hoped his body wouldn't drive him out of the furs too quickly. She just wanted to be close to him.

Thankfully, Zev seemed more than content to lay with his chin on her head, one hand stroking her back and hair.

Eventually Sasha sighed again. "I wish I could always be like this," she murmured into his chest, kissing it at the center where his heart thumped. Then turning her head so her ear was against it when he spoke and she could listen to his deep voice rumble under his ribs.

"So do I," he said earnestly.

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"What will it be like, Zev? I mean, now that there's no, like, fighting or whatever. What's it like to live here? How will it work."

Zev sighed and rolled onto his back, one hand under his head. Sasha followed, laying her head on his shoulder and stroking his chest as he spoke.

"Alpha's always busy, but there's a lot of perks to it, too. You'll have a lot of meetings and sometimes be called to judge conflicts between the clans, or occasionally individuals if their Alphas couldn't sort it out. And anytime there's a Rite, or—"

"No, Zev. I mean… I do want to hear that. But… first… what's it like for us? Where will we live? In the tree house?"

It took him a beat to answer, and she felt him tense under her hand, but he cleared his throat and nodded. "Yeah, probably. That's probably the wisest choice," he said, his voice a little distracted as if he were deep in thought. "You need to be close so they can reach you in an emergency. And I think for you being in one of the treehouses will probably be the most comfortable. Until we move to the City—which I'd recommend you do as soon as we know the hierarchy's settled."

"Just to be further away from the humans?" she asked.

"Mostly. But also… we need space to bring the females back to. And… I don't know how Xar convinced them all to move out, but even though the City will be a little big for the numbers we have now, it's also a lot better set up. And that will help with keeping everyone comfortable and in line…"

They continued chatting for a long time, Zev describing a life Sasha could barely fathom—being up with the sun, making decisions, gathering for every meal, meeting with Alphas and groups who needed help or would want her approval.

"That's the thing," she said finally. "I won't have a clue, Zev. It just doesn't seem right for me to be making decisions for these people! Why can't I just give Alpha to you?"

Zev ran his hand through his hair. "You can eventually. But I don't know, Sash. I can't kick the feeling that there's a reason for this. I know it's scary for you, but I'll be there. I'll be your second, and your advisor. Skhal will help. Probably Lhars too. And I think you can count on Kyelle to support you—she's always said we need more female Alphas so we can move past the alpha male peacocking and into sanity. At least, that's how she says it. I'm not sure I agree," Zev said dryly.

Sasha giggled. "I kinda liked the peacocking," she said, pushing up on an elbow to lean over him.

Zev met her eyes and smiled lazily. "Oh? Do tell. Let me make sure and offer my Alpha any peacocking she might want or need," he said, pulling her down over him for a kiss.

Sasha hummed into his mouth, but kept the kiss soft. He was tired, she could tell. And it seemed like he was finally hitting vacation mode. She'd always found whenever she took a break it took a day or two for her to really unwind. Zev's slower, lazier pace today struck her as someone who was finally taking a rest after a stressful time and she didn't want to snap him out of it.

So while she might have buried her fingers in his hair and teased him with her tongue, she didn't push for more, but slowed the kiss, then broke it to pull back far enough to meet his eyes.

"I'll make you a deal," she said softly.

"What's that?" Zev traced a strand of hair behind her ear with one finger.

"I won't whine about being Alpha if you promise not to leave my side. And we do this together. There's things I won't understand and might get wrong. I can't learn all that in couple days, Zev. And I don't want to screw these people up. I want to help you get the females back, and kick the humans out. But I don't think I have to be Alpha to do that."

"We'll see," he dismissed her easily. When she frowned and opened her mouth to protest, he shook his head and rushed in to speak. "No, Sash, I'm not saying you're not right. I'm saying, we'll see. We haven't had a minute to breathe since we arrived—and neither has anyone else. There's so much to this picture even I don't know yet. I'm not making any more big changes until we're certain we know how we're heading into this. So just… relax, okay? You have to just be you. Be certain of what you're aiming for, and why. The rest we can figure out as we go. And I'll help you. I promise. I won't leave your side. We'll do it together."

Sasha smiled down at him. "As long as you promise. Beside me. Always."

"There's nowhere else I want to be," he rumbled, then pulled her down into another kiss. 

*****

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