Chapter 62: ——~(57)~——

"If someone feels they're abandoned,

there are always complicated feelings.

There are always reasons why people do the things they do."

-Maurissa Tancharoen

---

Deku felt... complicated, to say the least. For Deku, All Might didn't represent a Symbol of Peace, but rather of a symbol of helplessness, disappointment, and harsh reality. He perfectly understood why All Might did it; he was a villain, after all. He knew what he would have had to go up against, and it was safe to say that he didn't stand a chance. No matter how smart he was, it wouldn't have made a difference.

Of course, understanding was different from feeling.

They weren't all that powerful, certainly not enough for him to seek revenge, but they were there. Little packets of bitterness and envy, and a sudden urge of an unnamed emotion that encouraged him to just end himself right there. It was... embarrassing for him to see him as he was now. It felt like something had just become tainted, like a piece of the past that should have just stayed there jumped out to the center-stage. He felt his muscles grow heavier and almost freeze in place, all thanks to his pesky lightning quirk. The lightning quirk that was exerting an increasingly worrisome degree of control over his body.

There was nothing that Deku could do to resist this particular ability because the lightning (that's not focused on overwhelming power) exerts its hold on its victim's through a sympathetic connection. If Deku wanted to get rid of it, he'd have to get rid of his entire nervous system, which is obviously not an option. It seemed to only assert its dominance in times when he hadn't fed it in a long time, or when it perceived a threat towards itself (i.e. it can not exist if Deku doesn't exist, hence the stuns).

But even though that was the case, it was still a dangerous situation to balance between.

Even regardless of the implications of his own quirk having free rain over his body, someone could attack him in these moments of weakness... He felt the weights that suppressed his body dissipate in an instant, the lightning that was messing around in his brain fleeing with an almost fearful quality to it. He suppressed his urge to smirk at the successful ploy. As long as someone could be reasoned with and he understood them, he wouldn't fear whatever it was. Still, he was getting off-track. The existential crisis would have to wait for later; All for One and All Might had returned to their staring contest with one another when he hadn't been paying attention.

Occasionally, though, he had felt a gaze hover nervously near him, as if the person in question didn't know how to deal with him.

It hurriedly fled when he looked back up.

He sighed in his heart. These things... They were never simple, and that was why they were annoying to deal with. If he had it his way, they wouldn't have met each other ever again. All Deku felt when he saw his former idol was conflicting feelings, and his presence was, apparently, a source of misery for the latter as well. It seemed that All Might was a much of a goodie-two-shoes as the other heroes were, perhaps even greater if he was hesitant to even meet his eyes. Like a big overgrown puppy that had torn up its owner's shoes, and was sulking in the corner because it realized it had done wrong. 

(He had to stifle a laugh.)

His heart chilled rapidly, though, as he looked up at the floating figure of All for One. He had to have brought him here for a reason, and he couldn't imagine any good (for him) reason that he had grabbed him out of the blue as he had. He was in the middle of fighting All Might, for chrissakes! No matter how much of a disadvantage he had against All for One, he was still (probably) on the same general level.

"...Sensei, why did you bring me here, if I may ask?"

His eyes twinkled like he was listening to an inside joke that only he knew the meaning of.

"Why, you're my secret weapon, of course."

He smiled.

His smile was one of the most terrifying things Deku had ever witnessed. Before, whenever he interacted with All for One, it was always audio-only, except the day that he tried to commit suicide. However, back then, All for One hadn't thought much of him; he had little to no interest beyond a bare curiosity. Thus, he hadn't been particularly terrifying. But now... His interest was an endless flood.

Somehow, it was even more intimating than his previous bloodlust, albeit not physically ailing.

(He didn't need that; his weapon was the imagination. Anything that the victim could think of would be far more terrifying.)

"All Might, despite his physical prowess, is fairly weak to matters of the mind. Regret, guilt, remorse... They are deadly poison to the fair and true. Something I'd been hoping you'd gain immunity to, with time. True demons have no need for such things. They could send half the world to hell with a smile on their face and not even think that they were doing any wrong. We'll have to work on that in the future, Deku..."

His gaze was one that pierced the soul and unearthed all hidden secrets.

"Your selfishness."

His eyebrows scrunched in on themselves, giving birth to wrinkles of unease, but he wasn't actually surprised. Others might have been fooled by his icy mask, but All for One had known him from the start. He knew the stupidly kind, hero geek of a boy that had problems that he had tried to kill himself to get away from. And he wasn't stupid either. All for One was the farthest possible from that word.

Anyone with brains that had watched closely would be able to discover that he didn't like to kill people. It didn't really matter if he was discovered, though. He hadn't violated orders, so other than this trait of his being seen in distaste by All for One, there was no real danger to his person. Logically, anyhow. He couldn't guarantee that this aspect of his personality would get him killed from a person high on emotions. There was an inherent part of himself that made him anxious and annoyed that his life and death were left up to fate, but an even larger portion... simply didn't care. If he died, he died. It was an approach he shared with his quirk; it prevented him from despairing.

(Just like he would always have a portion of kindness within him, there would likely always be a part of him that wanted to end it all.

He wouldn't go as far to ensure it, but if destiny wished for him to die, then die he shall.)

All for One had already rapidly approached the muscular form of All Might, but he made no moves to strike, nor did he use any quirks.

He simply... talked. (Deku had a feeling it was his most dangerous ability.)

"I'm afraid that my dear fellow wasn't giving you the little details, All Might. Pity, perhaps? Regardless, I know of them as well. Aren't you... curious? Just what made a young boy like him choose to become a villain, of all things... What drove him to such utter extremes?"

Deku... Well, Deku was definitely surprised. It looked like All for One had done a great background check on him than he'd realized if he dared to claim he could tell All Might all the 'little details'. It also made him slightly ticked off that he was just spouting off facts about him like it was a 'buy one, get two' sale, but he didn't dare speak out either. He wasn't All Might; there was no way he could fight that monster.

Speaking of All Might... Unfortunately, it looked like he was rather interested, despite his attempts to hide it.

Curiosity is a fearsome thing indeed.

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"His father left home one day, abruptly disappearing. It was only later, at the start of little Deku's first year of middle school, that the father came back with another woman in his arms. He required their divorce right then and there, and of course, because the quirk laws favor those with quirks, his mother was required to pay back a rather large sum of money. But that was only the start of everything."

Deku realized that... this man was enjoying it. Enjoying laying out his past in front of everyone. It made him sick.

"Children are cruel, cruel creatures, you know? The slightest difference earns you the title of an outcast, much less lacking a quirk. A part so essential to the modern human, the quirkless might as well be missing a limb. They took great joy in burning him with flames, beating him until he was black and blue, and leaving him in the water fountain to rust when it was all said and done. He didn't have a single friend."

His voice gained a slightly mad and extremely diabolical edge to it. He was no longer able to hide his fervor.

"Ah wait, his one and only 'friend'... was the ringleader of the group that liked to bully him! All the children around the school saw him as a unique specimen to be dissected and messed with at their leisure. Regardless, he continued to hold pure thoughts of protecting trash like them, until he met you, that is. All Might... You were instrumental in finally, finally breaking him after holding on for so long."

All Might's face was pale, Deku distantly noted.

He wasn't feeling so well himself, as bad memories continually resurfaced with each and every word.

"You told him he couldn't be a hero, reaffirming what everyone, and I mean everyone had told him in his life. He stopped eating, stopped smiling in a matter of days. He couldn't even sleep because a simple turn would cause his enormous array of bruises to ache. The bullying had gotten worse over the past few days; perhaps the children had sensed that their toy was finally about to break, so they tried to get as much use out of him while he was still there. Who knows? In any case, it was starting to break him. Everything bad happened all at once."

Deku couldn't bring himself to say a word. It was true.

"It started off slow... a simple cut here and there when the worst got too overwhelming. Gradually, his wrist became a jagged criss-cross lace of scars, each one deeper and darker than the last. He hadn't said a thing to his poor mother, too distracted with all the bills to pay attention to her son. Lacking support in both family and friends, his depression took off without impediment. Eventually, he chose to end it."

Deku just stood there with a blank look in his eyes. He... He truly hadn't expected for him to know this much...

It was a pathetic life, so filled with tragedy and over the top hardship that it deserved to be a soap-opera all on its own. He constantly suffered and suffered, letting people walk all over him as they wished. In comparison... He was somewhat happy, in his own little miserable way, now. For the life of a villain to be better than his past, he truly wondered about the world he lived in sometimes. He might have even cursed it, once upon a time, but that didn't do anything. Nothing at all. Screaming and crying... They served no use, in the end.

(If he had the ability to pay attention to others as All for One talked, he would have seen the true and utter horror reflected in All Might's eyes, as well as an endless sea of guilt that dwelled within them. In fact, the two were remarkably similar in many ways. All Might was just luckier than most. His path could have easily become Deku's, with the slightest twist or change in fortune.)

"I happened to swipe him right in mid-jump. Nothing I said worked in the beginning; he just wanted to die. But, the moment I said 'revenge', he lept right into my arms. I granted him a quirk and arranged for him to enter the League of Villains, and the rest is history."

The clearing was silent, not even a cricket dared to chirp, nor did a bird try to sing.

It was like the world had stopped for a moment, as the main characters wallowed in an unescapable chain of suffering and sadness.

But that wasn't the case, Deku realized with a start. That whole speech had had a purpose, a motive. It wasn't just aimless agony trying to make someone suffer because misery wanted company. It hadn't even been Deku himself that had uttered it. It was All for One. He wasn't one to feel sympathy. It was just... poison. A poison of the mind, designed to end All Might in one fell swoop. He might have been able to defend or even counterattack if his foe was anyone but All for One... But his enemy was All for One.

And All for One wanted All Might dead.

Deku made a decision instantaneously; he would help All Might. While it was true that All Might was at a disadvantage while fighting All for One, All for One pissed him off a hell of a lot more than All Might did. If he succumbed to his end... Well, it wouldn't be purposeful, nor would he be limiting himself in the slightest. It would be a fair death that Deku could agree to, possibly one that he didn't deserve.

(The lightning didn't even try to take control of his body; it was something to take note of... Hmmm...)

Besides all that, this would be his chance to get rid of the menace that had continuously caused problems for him.

The moment All for One brought his hand up, Deku moved, his body fast as lightning itself. He didn't even bother with trying to fire off a lightning bolt at All for One; he could withstand All Might's attack barehanded, there wasn't any use in lightning now. There was no guarantee that it would stun him either. He just moved as swiftly as possible, not caring for dignity as he barreled straight into All Might, knocking them out of the radius of the quirk. All for One looked stunned as if he had truly used his quirk on him.

He rubbed his aching head as he stood up; those muscles felt like bricks, truly. It was almost unbelievable.

But even as he stood up, the figure beside him remained on the ground, looking at him as if he was some alien from outer space.

He sighed.

"I don't think I hit you hard enough to render you immobile, so I assume it's more of a mental issue? You don't understand why I saved you from intermediate death? Sens-, ah screw it, All for One looks rather... shocked himself. It's rather simple actually," He looked down, staring him right in the eye. Somethings needed to be said with eye contact. "I don't feel like it, anymore. Revenge. I was a stupid, idiotic child when I agreed to join him, but I've grown up since then, if only just a little. I forgive you. You didn't mean me any harm."

He didn't look like he believed him.

Deku sighed, once more. He really was like a puppy, not daring to believe he had been forgiven... He'd have to pull out the big guns.

"To be blunt, All for One pisses me off more than you ever did. Is that good enough?"

A single fist filled with utter determination fired at a certain someone was his only answer.

AN: that's long. real loooonnnngg. darn it, all for one, why must you talk so much? hope you guys liked the angst fest.

(i did. guilty as charged~)

please hit those hearts, comment and all that jazz. i don't feel like capital letters. bye

 

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