Chapter 58: Chapter 58 – Leaving a Mark (18+)

//Author Note: All characters are over the age of 18

 

Rea shivers in my arms, her eyes locked on mine as she stares right through me. I reach up to touch her face only to find my own hands shaking. The rage that was consuming me a moment ago, is drying up and leaving behind a thick residue of frustration and anticipation. The poisonous blend spreads through my insides making it impossible to keep a steady breath.

Tonight, we’ll be together, as close as two people can be.

Tomorrow, she’ll see me as a stranger.

Both realisations fill me with competing senses of urgency, excitement and dread which blend together into simple desperation. I take in the moment, hardly even breathing. I have but these next few hours in this oasis, where I know her affections, free to make of it what I please before I march out into an arid desert, not knowing if I will ever see another drop of water.

I’m pressing my lips to hers before I even know what I’m doing, our teeth hit hard enough that I can taste my blood from the impact, but I don’t care. We’re not even moving in sync, but I don’t stop even to take a breath. I lean into her, holding her in place so that she can’t escape.

I’ll not waste a single moment of tonight.

Our kiss is a mess of teeth and tongue, we’re both moving to embrace each other more deeply, but we’re like kids slapping about at each other with sticks in the place of swords. We have passion but we don’t know how to move with each other. I don’t know how to properly wield my weapons, and I don’t know where she’s most vulnerable to my strikes.

I can’t even tell what our kiss tastes like, every sense in my body is on fire, muddled to the point where I don’t even know what I’m thinking or feeling. I just have to keep moving and embrace every second I have, as our time slowly trickles away in the back of my mind.

I break away from her to see her expression and I’m locked in place by her deep blue gaze. My dizzy mind swims in the depths of those warming oceans, the frozen layer of ice that had fragmented the surface before is gone, melted away. Now, the warm waters invite me to swim into the confusing depths.

Catching a trail of water that runs down her jaw, I wonder what it will take to satisfy her unspoken appetite.

Her fangs peek out from her barely parted lips, and from this close, her cold shallow breath crawls all over me. Her eyes, ocean depths filled with insatiable monsters, roam over me, and each spot she focuses on flushes hot for her attention. It’s as if she’s casting bolts of lightning through her eyes.

I brush her wet hair aside and drift to her, hovering closer and closer until my lips brush against hers.

It's just a momentary touch, but she digs in and doesn’t let me leave, pressing her teeth and fangs into my lower lip just shy of drawing blood. Her eyes shimmer and shine, glancing back and forth as if to read my expressions. After a moment, she lets me go, but as she retreats, I find myself drawn to her as if by invisible strings.

Her eyes smile in place of her busy lips, and her hand, resting on the back of my neck, slowly retreats down until she’s holding my side.

What’s she up to?

I break our kiss, still keeping so close that our lips brush each other every few seconds. Her breath flows into me, and my breath flows into her in return. I struggle to keep from diving into her lips.

She smiles as she lets go of my side, leaving only a single finger pressing against me, her nail only lightly scratching my skin as she swirls it in place before slowly tracing a wandering line to my chest.

Her smile deepens as I let her do as she wills, her half-lidded gaze drifting downward as she sets her target. The lightning from her eyes offers me just a moment to anticipate before she pauses on the edge of where pale skin turns to pink.

She is still for less than a heartbeat. A squeal jumps from my throat as she flicks me. I lose my breath, shocked by the simple motion.

Before I can recover, she spreads her fingers out wide, her thumb slowly massaging in circles as if to take away the sting of her last attack.

I should be doing something. My hands hang by my side uselessly and I know that I should be doing more than just sitting here, but my thick and stupid mind can’t figure out what. In the end, I settle for holding her hand, as she continues her work.

I sit up straight and try to kiss her but I’m too slow. She deflects my attack, pressing lips against my shoulder instead, pecking at the side of my neck. Her fangs brush against me but never quite sink into my skin, the scraping spreads a numbness down my spine, and I can’t find the strength to move.

Laughter jumps from my lips as I desperately clutch at my fleeing breath, but Rea is not done with me. Though she withdraws again, her eyes don’t ever leave me, searching for something in my expression. She smiles as she finds it, crawling up onto my lap and facing me.

My mind is a mess, but I can’t afford to miss even a single detail. Rea is going to forget, and then she’ll be gone from my life. I want to believe that I’ll find her again, but I know it’s just a desperate lie.

I’ve only known her for two days, but she’s already proven that she can love me. She can accept me for everything I am. She is everything that I want. I’ve grown stronger just to find her.

But I have to let her go.

I have to run before the bandits chase me down.

I can’t save her.

All I can do is make sure that I remember her every expression. Remember her every touch. The way her eyes are always flicking about as if she’s trying to see everything at once. The way she drowns in frost when she’s trying to bury her feelings. The confidence that she has found this moment, not giving me a chance to even question her.

I cannot afford to forget even a single detail.

The bubbling waters flow all around us, as Rea looks down at her hand, a small frown lowering her lips. Like me, she has her nails grown long, perhaps even to be used as a weapon. She looks back up at me her hand leaving my chest to steady herself on my shoulder as she slips her fingers into her mouth.

Her expression freezes over for a second, and her body stiffens before she swallows. She smiles warmly as if nothing happened. When she slips her fingers back out, a thin trail of saliva connects them to her fangs, disappearing as she presses her fingers to her lips. The nails on her first two fingers are now cleanly trimmed.

I don’t even have time to wonder about it before she sits up taller, leaning over me with her hand slipping below the water as she puts her whole body on display. Her fingers rest on my leg, and my eyes lose focus as she slowly crawls up my inner thigh. I can barely even feel her kissing me, as her other hand slides down pushing between my legs before slowly pulling them apart.

My voice squeaks out and a tremble passes through me, I can only barely swallow. I am vulnerable, and if it were anyone else, I’d be running away or killing them outright. I reach up for her legs, my fingers sink into her thighs as I try to hold back the anxiety racing through my guts.

She’s kneeling over me, one leg on each side of me. Sitting up as she is, I can catch a glimpse of her completely above the water. But before I can stare, she sits back down again to pin my legs apart with her own body, I close my legs around her.

It’s strangely comfortable to sit like this. Like I’m hugging her with my whole body.

Leaning heavily on my thighs, she closes the distance between us again, pushing her chest right up close to my face as she moves back and forth. I barely manage to find the courage to kiss her offering, before she settles back down again.

How does she know just what to do? I’m still shaking when I reach out a hand to hold her side, but she’s here toying with me.

She’s managed to get even closer to me this time, her legs over mine to further pin me down, and her feet pressing around against my butt as she tries to kick me in closer to her. Which starts to make sense when her fingers drift up my inner thighs.

She keeps my waist from retreating as she finally does away with all the teasing.

As I shudder at the sudden intimacy, she watches every twitch in my expression, her smile growing wider with each show of weakness that I fail to suppress.

If this were a duel, then she’s attacked first and she’s left me stripped of all my armour and defences. Of course, if I were in that situation, I would continue pushing the weakened foe to keep them on the back foot, and Rea’s smile warns me that she’s of the same spirit.

I can’t rally myself to even try for a counter-attack.

“Do you… do this… often?” I ask, struggling to survive her assault.

I grit my teeth, but I can’t suppress the moan that works its way out of my throat, Rea’s other hand traces up to my chin lifting my head. She stares into my eyes as I swallow between deep, desperate breaths.

Her eyes glow, and for the first time, her magic truly sends a cold chill down my spine, but it’s soon followed by a more fevered sensation rising from the tips of my toes.

“Rea,” I whisper her name, barely finding the strength to speak, and she presses in for a kiss to silence me.

I never knew that it felt this good just to be touched, I never knew that a kiss could send electricity through my body and leave a fire burning in my guts. She’s like a terrible storm, and I’m sure that her attacks will leave me burnt down as a blacked husk, like a tree struck by lightning.

Part of me wants for it.

That she’ll leave a mark in me that will never be healed, because when this night comes to an end, she will be gone. These memories are all that I’ll have left.

I bite my lip and squeeze down the tears in my eyes, the lightning that she’s spread inside of me gathers until something breaks. Even as my heart sinks in my chest at the thought of the distant morning, I lose grip on my sanity. She pulls back from me, but I fall into her and bite her lip.

In that moment the gathered electricity turns to lightning and shoots through me. Starting at my toes, my body convulses, moving by her commands and not mine.

My mind swells with the white lightning as it bursts through me.

She withdraws slowly, pulling back a little, her magic slowly ebbing away. I’m too weak to stop her.

Her eyes are flicking all over me, igniting new fires like a storm blasting at the earth with a dozen bolts of lightning each second. I haven’t even recovered from her first assault and I’m already feeling the approach of the next. Her lips curl into a smile so predatory that I can’t keep from shivering in anticipation.

How many more of her smiles will be directed at me? How long can I hold onto these memories before they start to crumble, just like my old home? Just like the faces of my neighbours and old friends?

“Rea,” I reach out for her and pull her into my arms. She’s warm, some of it is from the bath, and some of it is taken from me. Holding her like this… I can’t believe that she’ll ever be gone from my life.

But she will be.

Tomorrow she’ll be gone.

She’ll be in the hands of a terrible villain, a man no better than a bandit, and I won’t be able to help her. Rea knows how strong I am, and if she says that I can’t win this fight then…

I’m going to lose her.

By the time I’m strong enough to save her, there’s no guarantee that she’ll still be alive to be saved.

She runs her fingers through my hair, looking down at me with a warm smile. It’s almost as if she believes that we’ll find that happy reunion sometime in the future. She genuinely believes that I’ll find her again one day, or maybe she’s just come to terms with her coming end.

Seeing her smiling, when she was just about to fully break down minutes ago, makes me want to go out there, tear apart her enemies, and run far, far away with her in my arms. I would drag her with me across the mountains, and if that’s not far enough, I would march through deserts, and sail dangerous oceans if that’s what it would take to keep her by my side.

“Was it to your liking?” Rea asks her expression hardening into something fragile as she looks for an answer.

I nod, and she falls into me, our lips colliding once more. It’s painful, but I don’t care anymore.

“The bed,” I say the moment we break apart, running my hands along her sides. She doesn’t say anything in reply, but I take that for agreement, lowering my hands further still. I take a moment to appreciate the surprising softness of her butt before adjusting my grip and lifting her up.

Her smile turns giddy, and a small giggle escapes her lips as she wraps her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist. My mind becomes focused on the friction of her wet skin on mine as I lift her a little higher, her everything rubbing against me. She breaths sharply, squeezing closer to me, her hips slowly twisting in my hands.

Her expression filled with borrowed heat, she bites her lip with one fang her eyes practically begging for permission to continue.

I glance over at the bed covered in silken sheets, and carefully step out of the tub. Rea’s weight shifts in my arms, and my foot slides from under me. I barely get my other foot down but it’s already too late. While I’m falling, I spin in the air to adjust our fall protecting her as best I can.

The impact knocks the air from me, but it’s nothing that I haven’t experienced before in training.

What I’m not so much used to, is having soft breasts pushed against my face. Rea is laughing, holding my head and pulling me into her chest before rolling to the side and pulling me along with her.

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Trapped as I am, there is only one thing to do. I kiss her everywhere that I can reach and before long her laughing gives way to a gasp. Her eyes, deep as the darkest depths of the distant oceans, focus on me as she runs her fingers through my hair.

“Just like a baby,” she chuckles.

If she wants to tease me, she should know that two can play at that.

I start kissing her again, spreading them out and moving faster and faster until she’s bursting with laughter, patting at my shoulders, pleading for me to stop.

“Slower!” She shouts, smiling wide. “That just tickles. It’s not sexy at all!”

I don’t tell her, but that’s the point. I want her smile and her laughter, just as much as I want the rest of her, so while I do stop kissing her, I instead reach for her sides. Her eyes widen, but she realizes the truth a moment too late for her to escape. I attack her sides, tickling her as best as I know how.

Her open-mouthed laughter reveals her sharp fangs, my guts burn up from the cuteness of her desperately gasping for air she doesn’t even need. The same feeling I get when the young kittens on the streets of Snowspring start yawning. I could just die from happiness.

Apparently, she’s weak to tickling. Which is useful because it helps me to squeeze that beautiful smile out of her.

She kicks at me, struggling to hold down the bubbling laughter. If she wasn’t a vampire, I’d hesitate, and consider giving her a moment to recover, but she’s already undead.

She’s not going to pass out from this.

She kicks at me, wriggling back to make her escape, but as she almost gets away, I snatch her feet and start kissing her soles. She squeals like never before, writhing about madly as she kicks at me more violently.

Her raspy breathing is only imitating laughter by this point. Finally, she manages to score a good hit, her foot slamming into my face and throwing me back while she flees.

She’s fast, and I couldn’t hope to catch her if she were truly trying to get away. Instead, she stands by the side of the bed looking back at me while slowly lowering herself to silken sheets. Her deep eyes draw me in, and she rests a hand on the mattress, waiting for me.

She doesn’t even need any time to catch her breath, since she never actually needed to breathe at all. She falls back into the soft mattress as I arrive, her hand wrapping around my own.

This whole time she’s been controlling the situation from the moment she sat on my lap to when she unbalanced me to throw us to the ground, but now she’s simply waiting. I look into her eyes as I kiss her again, her lips turning up into the smallest of smiles.

She lies here by my side, only smiling as I gaze over her naked body. She trusts me. I rest a hand on her side, and she welcomes the touch with a pleased hum. She wants to be with me. She’s waiting for me to take the lead so that I can make something of this night.

I hesitate for too long.

She takes my hand in hers, and slowly places it between her legs, guiding me to her own wanting. Moaning greedily, she licks her lips, inviting me in.

Tomorrow, I’m going to lose her.

I’ll be the only one to remember this.

She’ll have forgotten me entirely.

I swallow down the darker feelings, but even with them buried away, they leave behind a deep frustration staining the inside of my heart. I don’t want to be forgotten. She’s the first person to accept me like this, and I don’t want this to be the last time. I don’t want to be alone again.

Gripping her by the shoulder, I kiss her. I bite her so hard that she’d be bleeding if she still had blood, while she still guides my other hand.

Tomorrow, she’ll be gone.

Sitting up, I free myself from her grip. I bite my nails and rip them off the same as Rea did just a minute ago. Healing the damage takes only a few moments. Rea looks up at me, her fangs sinking into her lower lip as she desperately asks for more, without even saying a word.

I’ve never done this before, and even though I’ve imagined it, it was never quite the same as this. I must look like an idiot right now, but…

This night may as well be in my imagination. A memory that only I have.

I kiss Rea’s chest and find myself getting rougher with her, it’s not what I planned, or what I wanted, but I can’t seem to stop myself. When I run my fingers along the length of her she shivers and sighs, opening her mouth but biting down before she can make any more sounds.

This is all in my head. Just like out in the wilds when I would fantasise about being home. Like when I’d dream of a warm bed. Or a full stomach. Or my old family.

If I can’t share this moment with her, then it’s all just a silly fantasy.

Rea leans back as I press forward, she raises a hand to my side, but rather than pushing me away, she pulls me in closer. Her eyes widen but her small smile remains true.

I do everything I can think of to her. I’m not as gentle as I should be, and I know it, but I just can’t stop myself. The frustration in my heart spreads out like a sickness quickly consuming me.

I kiss her neck and chest, sinking in my teeth. At first, it leaves no mark at all, but as I get more violent with her, I leave an imprint in her flesh.

Seeing that, I shudder, and I bite harder still.

I’m alone.

My fingers are starting to cramp from moving fast and at an odd angle but I don’t dare stop. Rea is shivering, her eyes locked onto mine, accepting everything that I do to her without complaint. Even though it must hurt.

She’ll forget it anyway. The good and the bad.

Glaring at her, I lean in close to her face and kiss her again. She whines closing her eyes as she lifts her body up off the bed. She reaches down for my other hand and holds it to her chest, where a pounding beat thunders inside.

If she’s not going to remember this, then it may as well never have happened at all.

She’s never looked away from me, not all this time, and even now as her booming heart pauses, she’s staring up into my eyes. Pressing out a long sigh, she slowly relaxes back into the wet bedding.

She doesn’t look like a refined noble or a terrifying vampire. She’s Rea, the girl that I love.

Her eyes shimmer as she blinks away tears, and in place of the hungry monsters that were hidden in the depths of her gaze, I see only my own reflection.

“Thank you,” she whispers, and I know that she’s talking about tomorrow. She’s thanking me in advance, for using my magic, to erase myself from her memory.

She moves slowly, raising a hand to my cheek, running her thumb under my eye to catch the tears. Tears I didn’t know were falling.

A hiccup blocks my throat, but it turns into something else before I can stop it. Rea grabs me and pulls me close when I can’t choke down the sobs. She rubs at my back until it stops.

We did this the last time, too, didn’t we?

My parents always taught me to cry alone where no one can see me, but Rea doesn’t scold me. She looks upon me fondly, kissing away the tears. When I’m done sobbing, she draws me back into the acts of love.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

I awaken in her arms. Her eyes are closed, and she is perfectly still.

“I’ll save you,” I whisper.

I won’t. I can’t. She’ll be gone, and when I return, this city will be nothing but ruins, and I won’t be able to tell her ashes apart from the rest.

I can’t save her.

“We’ll meet again,” I whisper, before my throat can close over.

This is the last time I’m going to see her.

I don’t even blink, willing time to stand still and trap me in this moment for eternity. My will is not enough to pause time itself.

The sun rises, its warm light illuminating the curtains. I grit my teeth until my jaw aches, swallowing hard to keep from breaking.

I need to do this now before she wakes up.

Before I can think.

Placing my hand on her chest right atop her unbeating heart, still filled with borrowed warmth.

I press my magic into her.

“Forget last night,” I whisper, and something inside of her chest pounds in response.

“When you walk out the doors of this building, forget that you were ever here.” My head is somehow both light and heavy as I force the next words through my throat, struggling to keep going.

 “Forget that you ever met a necromancer,” I squeeze out the words, and she shudders, but her eyes remain closed tight.

I need to keep going.

“Forget me,” I whisper, my voice failing me. Leaning down, I kiss her one last time. “Forget the time we’ve spent together. Forget that you met me! And forget that I… Forget that I loved you!”

Her eyes flicker, about to open.

“But never, never forget that you are loved!” I choke the last words out, before turning away from her.

I can’t look back.

I’ll come back one day when I’m stronger. Even if it’s just to sort through the ashes.

 

//Author Note: Also, the release is going to slow down for a week or two while I recover from some real-life nonsense.

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