Chapter 152: Vol. 2 Chapter 50: The Festival (Part 3)

My brother, Estevan, promptly walked to my side.

“Got quite a tension right there.”

He seemed to have noticed the hostility between those two.

“They have issues to settle.”

“Huh. Where are you going?”

“Back home.”

“Already? The sun’s still there.”

“Have you forgotten, brother? It is dangerous for me here.”

“…”

Especially the night. It will be hard to detect enemies at night and the more risk it had to remain here. Thus, I will be moving out while the lights were still here. Okay well, part of it was because of those two. But nighttime was just generally even more dangerous.

Besides, everyone’s moving out later anyway. If I alone left before others, means my carriage will be alone. And you know what that means. An opportunity. Not for me, but for my enemies.

“For that reason I am leaving early.”

“Then I’m coming with you.”

Hm…

“That is alright with me. But would you be?”

“Of course if it’s for my sister.”

“I mean there are a lot of people here you can talk to. Ultimately, there are a lot of ladies you can talk to.”

“Ladies?” he asked, puzzled. “Why would I prioritize them?”

“Why wouldn’t you?”

“You’re more important, Estel.”

“Do any of the ladies even interest you?”

“Honestly, there is. But that’s not important right now. Your safety is the priority.”

Wow, I’m surprised he even has an interest in any girls except me.

So, do I leave Estevan here and perhaps give him an opportunity to have that bloom of youth? Or do I take him with me for my selfishness? Pfft, you need to even ask? Of course it’s the latter!

“Very well, brother. And thank you. Then can you please tell our family that we’re leaving?”

Estevan looked behind us where Rogan was following me as my bodyguard. Apparently, he was making sure that I have someone to watch over me as he tells our parents.

“Alright, I’ll be with you in your carriage shortly.”

And then he left to notify our parents.

“Nothing happened huh, princess.”

“Hm? Yes, Rogan. Nothing, a shame. But be on guard until we reach the palace.”

“Of course, your highness.”

I entered the carriage and Rogan closed the door. I limply sat down on the soft seat as the heavy weight on my shoulders lessened for a little. It felt a little safer here, and I can rest finally. Interacting with strangers was straining, especially the unremarkable ones.

Some of these aristocratic children were quite annoying, their ego was distasteful. And oh yeah, I never got to interact with other noble ladies but my cousin. I did notice they seemed wary to approach me. To be expected I suppose, I may be a little hard to approach. I’m like the alpha female after all, hehehe. But that’s alright, socializing can be done later.

Eventually, Estevan joined me in my carriage, I smiled sweetly at him giving the impression I’m relieved. Shortly the carriage shook as we began moving.

“So sister, did you enjoy finally going out?”

“Yes… a little yes.”

“A little? I suppose it would be like that…” he looked outside through the window. “What happened with Mizia? She appeared somewhat displeased.”

I debated whether to tell it, but whatever. Just something to pass the time. I’ll just keep it to the minimum.

“Something happened she did not like… it involved… love.”

“Ah…” he nodded. “Okay… It’s Jalen, isn’t it? I noticed something was going on with the two of them in the past. But suddenly they turned cold to each other.”

“So you are aware.’

“Yes. She’s our cousin, I notice a thing or two. But judging from the way she acted earlier, I guess she has hate for Jalen.” He smiled a little.

“Are you close with Jalen?”

“No, we wouldn’t really get along. We are too different from each other, and sometimes I don’t like the way he acts. But I do wonder why he stayed away from Mizia, she’s a lovely woman.”

“You do not know?”

“Nope. Do you know, sister?”

“Um… maybe he saw another girl he liked?”

Estevan shrugged. “I guess. I couldn’t think of why he would hate Mizia, so maybe that’s the reason.”

I gazed out at the window, watching the buildings pass by, the people enjoying the festival. Them eating outside, full of smiles. Despite the darkening sky, it would seem they have no plan of stopping the fun just yet.

“What about you, brother? Do you have any girls you fancy?”

“Well…” his voice trailed off. “There are an abundance of beautiful noble women, and quite lovely in personality. But I don’t have the motivation just yet to pursue one.”

“Why?”

“Maybe because I’m not yet ready for that. The commitment. Besides, I am still committed to you my sister, you are the most important to me.”

I subtly sighed. Somehow, I don’t like the way his love for me is keeping him from meeting someone that would accompany him in life. He was a normal human being, unlike me. As his sister, it’s not good that he was giving everything to me at his own expense.

“Estevan, my brother… You… You don’t have to give everything to me. You can focus on yourself, your experiences, and your future.”

“Estel, what are you saying? I want to do this.”

“… B-Brother… shouldn’t you try meeting other people? At least meet a woman that would become someone important to you.”

“Are you… are you driving me away, Estel?” his eyes widened, and he shook his head then looked away. “This is what I want… I don’t want some people, some stranger, to intervene.”

He sounded a bit more forceful than before.

It warmed my heart to see and feel his love for me, an intense love. But… I want something good to happen to him as well.

“My beloved brother, I am not driving you away. I would never.” I reached out for his hands and gently held them. I looked at his eyes, but he kept them away. “Estevan, please look at me.”

He slowly turned his head at me, his eyes conflicted. I fondly smiled.

“I love you, brother. That is why I am concerned for your well-being, your heart and mind, and most of all your future. I want you to be truly happy, happy to meet and live with someone very special. And that someone could be even more special than me. If you do, I will be relieved knowing that you wouldn’t grow and live alone.”

I stroked his cheek gently and caringly.

“You are the most important person to me,” he said.

I shook my head. “I know… and I couldn’t be happier. But I know your commitment to me is not completely of heartfelt love, but also due to obligations.”

“That’s not true!”

“Perhaps I may be wrong. However, there might come a time when I have to go somewhere without you…”

If that happens, when I no longer need you to always stay by my side… what will you do?

“There may be a time when you will become alone, a time where your family has other matters to give attention to. Don’t you want someone to be with you? A special someone to be with you when you are alone, in sickness and in health?”

“I…” he pursed his lips. “You are the most important person to me, Estelia… no one else. Even if you find someone you love more, you will always be what my heart contains. I will protect you when you are in danger, I will be your shield and your sword.”

I gently shook my head.

What a stubborn older brother.

But I’m sure that will change.

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“… I understand, brother. But I will hope you find someone special someday.”

He furrowed his brows and looked through the window.

There was silence for a moment.

“...Alright, Estelia… I will think about what you said.”

Glad that he will take my words to heart, I gently kissed him on the forehead.

***

We had arrived home with no problem at all, that caused a bit of frustration within me. The moment the staff heard of my arrival, my two servants that remained here, Mera and Vernon, immediately went to meet me. But our reunion didn’t take long as I wanted to rest in my room.

I left my brother and headed for my room. My servants remained outside my room, I told them to go and leave me alone and they can go rest. They hesitated of course, and adamant as they were in staying, I was left with no choice but to be forceful. Since I insisted, they left me.

“Haaaah…”

I heaved a long heavy sigh as I covered my face with both my hands, then roughly sat down on the bed. My chest warmed up as I lightly bit my lip. I raised my hand and pulled my hair a little, ruining my hair’s arrangement. But I didn’t care.

“Nothing happened…”

Nothing happened… Not even when I was out in the open, not when I was going home in the carriage.

“Why?!”

I jumped up and paced around the room, breathing heavily. It was a simple plan but should be very effective! A target running around in the open, a very good opportunity to strike. But nothing!

I stopped before the desk and slammed my hands, before staring at the mirror in front of me. It didn’t make sense…

“Something’s wrong… something’s totally wrong.”

I grew anxious. Don’t even tell me it’s just the first day. No stupid fuck would miss that fucking opportunity!

Goddammit!

I have grown impatient. Months of preparation, and the first attempt failed. Did they perhaps sense it was a trap? No, impossible. I oversaw it. Only I, Father and the church people knew of the plan. Could it be a leak? But why would it be? A spy? Impossible, the church fought with them, and it was unlikely that someone like Oryn would just sneak into the church. Still…

Leaked or not, they could have made a counter plan…

My fist tightened. My blood boiled and my heart raced as I glared at myself.

Patience? A hunter has to be patient? It was a different case with Oryn. Now, right now, I was not the hunter, I am the hunted. I don’t like being hunted!

Could it be I’m a failure?

First it didn’t go as I expected now. Then before this, the attempt to capture the enemies using the fake message failed. Failure to get even the slightest of information about why they hunt me. Then that one significant failure… my death…

My failure caused my death, my blunder. Was that why I was disposed of? I was… deteriorating? The professor… seemed to have noticed something strange from my actions beforehand… maybe that was what started it all... I have become dull, so instead of being resharpened, I was thrown away.

It c-can’t be.

It can’t be… No…

“I’m n-not a failure…”

They’re wrong…

My head lowered.

“I’m not a failure… I am excellent… I am remarkable…”

I’m tired…

I slowly sat down on the chair.

I miss my old team.

Sometimes it’s lonely.

I closed my eyes.

…I must wait. Shouldn’t be overwhelmed by emotions. I need to wait until after the festival finish, then I can get on with the other plan. Follow the process.

I just want to have a little fun.

Ah, that’s right, I’m about to have a date with Lucious tomorrow. That’s good… that’s great. Exciting stuff. What do people do during dates anyway? Walk around, eat, talk, enjoy the view or something.

Ugh, I hope I can have a little joy.

Well, I also hope nothing goes wrong tomorrow… even though it goes against the plan… but I feel like I want some freedom from these stressful thoughts. But it would also be good if something happens.

Haaaah, conflicted thoughts.

Ah, I’m not going to act like any teenager squirming as she feels restless for a date that’s coming tomorrow. Like pfft, who does that… not me… I’m only looking forward to it.

***

I was laying down on my bed when I heard my mother’s voice on the other side of the door.

“Estelia, may I come in?”

I opened my eyes and slowly got up. I walked over to the door and opened it.

“Mother...”

“What’s wrong, dear? Are you unwell?”

“N-No, it’s not like that.”

“… Alright… is it okay if I enter?”

“Go ahead.”

She entered and I closed the door after. We sat down on the bed side by side.

“Estelia, did you have fun?”

I stared up at her. “… Yes… it was interesting and fun.”

She pouted. “Are you sure? You don’t sound like it. Be honest with me.”

“… I…. It’s not completely fun… It was tense, I was restless the entire time.”

She held my hand. “I understand…” she then wrapped her arms around me and pulled me towards her.

“It must be tiring…”

“…”

“Estelia… you can stay here in the palace. Isn’t it safer?”

I looked up at her. “But it’s the festival.”

“I know… it’s just… it is dangerous for you out there.”

I lowered my head. I knew it, she was against me walking out there. When we were discussing the plans when going out for the festival, she seemed to want to refuse from allowing me to go out. But just couldn’t bring herself to say it given that the others were fine with it, and it was my will.

And now she was offering to let me stay here where it’s safe. Like it had always been. Always kept here in the palace walls where it was safe. But I can’t…

“No… it’s alright, mother… I can take it. There are people that will protect me, right?”

“Estelia…”

“Mother… it is alright.”

With sadness in her eyes, she lowered her gaze. “Very well… I won’t press you any further.”

She then kissed me on the cheek.

“You need to change clothes before coming for dinner, okay?”

I was still wearing my formal dress even as I was laying down on my bed. I didn’t feel like changing my clothes when I arrived here. It’s hard to take these off, okay? Plus all the accessories.

“Okay, mother.”

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