I had been given a very important mission by our lady of the burrow. She had placed the special hoop of coldwood in my hand, a ring, I think she called it. This ring would let me do something no bun had ever done before… leave the burrow unsupervised.
With the help of Wrestlebun and Binkliebun, I would be delivering the dried sourbeans to the outside humans. We were still confused as to why the humans liked their yucky beans, but humans did a lot of odd things, so what was one more?
The three of us gathered the sacks of beans together in the lower store… uh, room. Store room. Yes, that was the words. They were heavy bags too, human sized instead of bun-sized, but we were strong. Especially Wrestlebun, who had even thrown one of the humans over his shoulder the other day during practice.
“The lady has such trust in us,” Binkliebun said with a twitch of her ears. “To make the great hop out into the other world without her. I have heard that other lords and ladies like her don’t even treat their buns as people.”
“They aren’t people,” Wrestlebun stated, hefting the bag onto his shoulder. “Our lady made us to be people. It is not the common way for the powerful humans. Our lady is a warm dawn in the winter, when placed beside the others.”
“I have heard this,” I nodded, frowning slightly. Frowning was new for us, but something had changed, our faces could now move as like the humans. It was a small change, but one that made communicating with them much easier. The big bun once again providing so that our duties would be easier.
“They have a reason for this way,” I continued, turning the ring over in my fluffy hands. “Burrow keepers will not want for anything but their work, if they are not truly people. Giving us minds with which to want, gives us desires other than that of our purpose. It is a problem that plagues our lady.”
“She will learn a path forward,” Binkliebun whispered, her nose twitching with trust.
Binkliebun was a young bun, by our standards even, and very very shy. Early in her life, our lady had discovered her in the storeroom, trying to find some greens for the kitchen. Our lady had stopped what she was doing and had helped Binkliebun with her duties, then taken her up to the room of women for pats. It had instilled a particular devotion in the young bun that had not flopped in the slightest.
“She will,” Wrestlebun agreed with a definitive little thump of one foot. “I can feel it in her when her mind touches ours.”
A rumble of sudden happiness bubbled up from within me. It was true, our lady’s love for us was a second sun of the mind. “She will,” I nodded, then held the ring up for the others to see. “Place your hands on me, we must deliver the sourbeans.”
Binkliebun did not stay herself but an instant, but Wrestlebun checked his heel and elbow teeth. Spurs, the short strong one had called them. Buns were not suited to the weapons of the humans, so Wrestlebun was asked to test new means of defence.
Satisfied the coldwood blades were properly put on, he reached up and put his hand on my shoulder. Now was the part where I had to use the ring-gift. My eyes closed, and thought of the big shiny rock far below in the lower burrow, then pushed against it with my mind-touch.
A funny sound happened, and then the smells of the world changed. Gone was the warmth and the love of the burrow, replaced instead with a bone-deep indifference. It was always an unsettling feeling, how the lands outside the burrow were so… mind-lifeless. We buns did not like it, not one bit. Still, it was bearable for short times.
We had run this route before with the book lady, so we knew where to go with the sacks. The place that we emerged at was a big wide open place made of funny past-liquid stone. Our lady had explained once that it was actually poured like water. Humans were remarkable with their making of things.
From there, it was a short hop around to the back of the big building where the sacks were meant to go. The book lady had taught us that we needed to tap the door with our paws, so I reached up and did so.
The door opened so abruptly that Wrestlebun thumped with surprise behind me. The human woman spoke before she saw us, “Typical fuckin’ man, huh? Always late—“
She glanced down and frowned when she saw us standing at the door with our sacks in hand. “Huh. Guess he lost some of his guts when he lost his balls and height too. Well, drop the coffee then.”
She pointed to the ground, and after a few discreet glances between us, we did so. This woman wasn’t very smart, she kept thinking that book lady was a man. So strange. Book lady was obviously a lady. She said she was, after all.
Beside me, Wrestlebun was frowning at the coffee, thinking with a depth of irritation. Then, in his small, soft voice, he said, “Stupid woman. Think C—“ he stumbled over the name, but pushed forward regardless. “Think Cathereen is man. Wrong. You stop saying wrong. Thank you.”
He punctuated his words with a big thump, which caused his spurs to strike the ground with a jarring, nasty sound. Ah, was this… a meanness? An attack? The calling of Catharleen as a man rather than the woman she was.
“You stop with your attacks,” I nodded, looking up at the human woman who was double my height. “It is nasty.”
With that, I pulled the other two away from the door. We had made our delivery, and now it was time to leave. Silly humans of the outer world didn’t deserve the sourbeans, in my opinion. Our lady would do well to leave them to their fate.
“Wow, how did that bitch ruin bunnies?” another voice asked, a man’s voice. We were away now, but humans always forgot that their ears were puny and ours were large. Bun eyesight may be bad, but seeing was only one of the ways that living things take stock of their surroundings.
“Don’t call him a bitch,” the nasty girl said with a sharp voice. “He doesn’t deserve to be called that. It’s a feminine insult, used by men like him to belittle women. Don’t use it at all, actually.”
“Right… yeah,” the nasty man agreed. “It’s just hard to talk about him as a man when he looks…”
“Looks are irrelevant, he’s still a man,” she snapped, and the door slammed before we could hear anything more.
The three of us buns all shared a long look. That had been… enlightening. It appeared that humans were far nastier than we thought. How could we help though? We buns had been instilled with our lady’s drive to help people, for we were part of her in a way. There must be a way…
“We should tell the horned bun-cousin,” Binkliebun said, ears going suddenly upright with the idea. “Mer. That is her name, we should tell Mer.”
“Why is that?” Wrestlebun asked, bobbing his head in question.
“She protects the book lady,” I explained, nodding along with the idea. “Very good idea, Binkliebun, very good idea. Let us go to her now.”
Us buns were going to help. That’s what we were going to do now, and always.