Chapter 34: 34 The Shallow Drowned, Part One

In the late afternoon there was a heavy thudding sound against the sides of the tin shed. The window light cast over the wall of books turned grey and streaky, filtered through the new rivers of water forming on its outside surface.

Angharad opened the door and saw something like rain for the first time in months.

"Seriously?" Tsuyoshi said. "Where in the world are we? Weird sudden downpour."

"It's going to be a flash flood," Tabitha said, her voice distant.

The gravel outside was dark with the wet. Angharad took a chance and stepped out. Cold, cold, cold! Stepped back in.

"That was stupid," Jin said. "Is this your first time encountering water? Close the door."

Derisive, but his voice was kind of soft, textured like the edge of sleep. For the last hour she'd felt his warmth as he leaned closer and closer to her shoulder, as if her notebook of equations wasn't enough to make up for the soporific effect of Zelko's voice when he got seriously into a passage. She'd watched the flattening out of Tabitha's expression as she'd looked, blank, towards the books, the way Tsuyoshi subtly arched as Zelko's fingers moved through his hair, and tried to ignore the way the electric edge of Jin's aura threatened to invade her space.

"It's pretending to be rain," she said, and stepped out in it again. Closed her eyes and leaned back a little to let it run through her hair and down her neck. She could feel it beginning to collect under her dress. The doctor would be cross with her for standing out there like this.

"What do you mean, it's pretending?" Zelko asked.

She opened her eyes again.

Jin stepped out in it with her, and looked up towards the sky, a perfunctory hand above his eyebrows like he was really concerned with making sure just his eyelashes stayed dry.

Behind her, Zelko had moved close to the doorway, his book still clutched in one hand.

"It's not real rain," she said, "because if that was falling through the electric barrier we would all die."

"And you thought you'd test that theory by stepping out in it?" Tsuyoshi said, his voice sharp. "Are you serious?"

She shrugged. "I didn't really think about it."

"There's definitely something lowered beneath the barrier, but it's too far away for me to see it well enough to guess what," Jin said.

"What the fuck? Isn't anyone going to panic about this?" Zelko said.

"I've been panicking for four months, Zelko," Tsuyoshi said.

"So, we have to consider what this means, right?" Angharad said, looking at Jin.

He turned to look at her and the way the water flattened out his hair and ran over the lines of his face and collarbone did something to his features that made it hard for her to keep looking back.

Jin blinked against the downpour, eyelashes dark and wet. "Are the seasons a lie, or just the lighting conditions and the rain?"

"How could we tell? I mean, there's all that visual distortion from the barrier. I get active eye strain when I try to look up at it. I don't know, maybe it's like this old movie I watched where there's this guy and he, like, lives in a TV set and doesn't know he's living in a TV set. It could be like that. This could be one gigantic back-lot and we're all, like, living some weird reality TV experiment that we didn't sign up for."

Tsuyoshi's voice from behind was sharp. "Because, what, you think people watching at home love to see strangers crying in the dark?"

"I don't know," Angharad said. "It's just a guess."

"I don't know, either," Jin mumbled.

"Who cares. It's cold and I'm going to the hospital," Tsuyoshi said.

"I don't think the doctor would want me to leave the dry area," Tabitha said. "Come get me when the rain is done."

"If you're cold you can have my jacket," Jin said.

Angharad glared at his hands as he took it off. "Your wet jacket? Oh, yeah, that's super going to help. Thanks, Jin. Smart as ever."

"You're both idiots," Tsuyoshi said.

Tsuyoshi pulled her by the elbow back under shelter and put his warm, dry jacket on top of the jacket she already wore. Not a perfect solution to the state she'd put herself in, but it was warm and smelled like his skin, that undefinable, almost spicy scent she found on everything Tsuyoshi touched.

"We can all run for the hospital and then doc can yell at all of us," Tsuyoshi said.

"Pair rule," Zelko said. "I'm staying with Tabitha so the place doesn't lock her in here alone."

"Nobody actually follows that rule," Angharad said.

"Everyone follows that rule but you," Jin said, still standing outside, getting steadily more wet.

"You can't have a wet t-shirt competition on your own," Angharad said.

"I could always take my shirt off," Jin threatened.

"Please don't," Tabitha said. She sounded tired.

"Let's run now," Tsuyoshi said.

He pulled Angharad out the door elbow first, and she went with the motion, perfectly willing to follow his lead. The hospital wasn't far but the false rain was heavy, cold. By the time they clattered through the doors she was drenched, her skin prickling against the temperature. Even Tsuyoshi looked half-drowned.

Through the gap between the hospital doors as they continued to swing, she could see Jin slowly walking off in another direction, and looked back at Tsuyoshi instead. He wiped his damp hair out of his eyes and smeared eyeliner over one side of his face.

"You can get warm in my room," he said.

He pulled her along, pace slow. They grabbed towels along the way, big fluffy bath sheets in an ugly shade of beige.

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In his room his movements were patient and deliberate. He put the towels on the side table. Pushed the jackets off her shoulders, warm fingers running down her arms. Closed the door.

He turned and took his shirt off, even though it was only a little bit damp. She stayed still, watching the movement of the lean muscles in his back, the strong line of his shoulders.

"Take it all off," she said. And when he turned to look at her his eyes were amused.

"You first." He went down to his knees and grabbed the hem of her dress.

"No, no, no," she said, and grabbed his wrists. "This is not how I like to imagine a cute boy taking off my clothes."

"I've seen you in your underwear before, coma patient. It doesn't excite me."

Still, he moved his hands to her legs, just under the edge of the fabric, as if he planned to push them up and push her dress off that way instead.

"I can take off my own dress."

She waited until he shrugged and stood up to grab a towel, anyway.

She felt small, diminished, without that extra layer. Legs too cold in her damp tights and the rest of her starting to feel fever hot in the weird temperature of his room. She leaned over her folded arms and didn't move when he rubbed the towel over her head and wet hair. He wrapped her up and weighted her down with towels. Then he shuffled around and put something else on the table, that bright red knit sweater he sometimes liked to wear.

"It should be warmer than what you have. I'm putting on pyjamas because why the fuck not," he said.

"Okay," she said, voice small.

By the time she shed the layers of towels to put on his sweater, he had already put on a giant pyjama top and sat down to take off his jeans. The sweater was long on her, almost like a dress but for the too-loose neckline and the sleeves that ended past her knuckles.

"As your medical semi-professional, I say it's time for a nap."

"Okay, sure."

She didn't push the leggings off until she was under his sheets.

*

The false rain had eased when she awoke, over an hour later, to find her hair almost dry. Through the window the sky was an even darker grey than before.

Tsuyoshi wasn't in the room, but her leggings were nearly dry so she pulled them back on and hoped the warmth of her skin would dry them the rest of the way. She figured he wouldn't mind her looking through his bag for a pair of socks to borrow. And then she borrowed a belt as well, to keep the sweater in place, and if he minded that he would just have to deal. She would let him wear her things if he wanted to. She had done that before, had pushed her fingers into his hair to push her hair clips into place.

The doctor was in her favourite nook, tapping cigarette ash into a mug damp with old wine.

Angharad flopped into a spare chair. "Am I likely to catch my death from getting caught in a sudden shower today?"

Dr Yeoh pushed her glasses back as she sat up straight, and her eyes went round and soft. "Not if you're careful. Would you like me to help you dry your hair?"

"That would be nice."

The doctor had a hair dryer in her own private room, and Angharad felt honoured enough to even be allowed in to see it. She sat happily in a chair as Dr Yeoh blew warm air all over her head and neck and gently pulled fingers through long strands as they dried.

"Does your father do this for you when you are at home?" Dr Yeoh asked.

"Oh, no way. Daddy has short hair, and anyway, his hair has a totally different texture than mine. He wouldn't understand my hair's needs. I learned about the best way to dry my hair from magazines and videos."

"Is that so?"

"He does sometimes try to talk to me when I'm grooming, though."

Dr Yeoh put the hair dryer away and brushed Angharad's hair carefully, ends first. "My son used to let me do anything I liked with his hair when he was a small child. That was play time for him. He liked to make a game of brushing teeth and washing face quickly so he could be under the hair dryer as long as he liked."

"That sounds cute."

"Yes, small children usually are." Things were silent, then, until the brush was put back in its place atop a chest of drawers. "It's dry. You should hurry back to your room before the rain starts again."

*

Angharad picked up an umbrella, just in case. Outside, the colour of the sky was even more aggressively unreal than it had been before, a not-quite-rightness that settled over everything in sight. The world seemed unnaturally quiet, other than the sound of Angharad's own steps, the faint squelch of her still damp boots.

Perhaps people still weren't sure they should risk the rain starting up again.

When finally she heard another human sound it was Josephine, heavy footed and striding toward her, a vision in dark jeans and a brightly patterned windcheater. Angharad stopped walking and let Josephine come to her.

Josephine stopped a few paces away. "Would it be possible to talk privately with you?"

Angharad tilted her head and looked at the nervous way Josephine clasped her hands together.

"Sure. And if you stand really close I can protect you if water falls from the sky."

Josephine laughed and ran a hand through her hair, but held the other in front of her body, fingers loose. "I would be amenable to that."

In the distance, movement and colour caught Angharad's eye – Zelko and Tabitha striding toward the hospital, the brightness of Tabitha's hair like a beacon. They seemed preoccupied with conversation and didn't notice her look.

Angharad looked back toward the hospital. Tsuyoshi watched her from his bedroom window, his mouth a straight line. She blew him a kiss and turned away.

Moved forward, and let Josephine under her umbrella.

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