Chapter 46: 46 The First Test, Part Four

The morning before the accident

Eleanor's enthusiasm, that's what Josephine had first liked. Whenever she got knocked down she'd always smile and get back up again. Eleanor worked so hard at the things she loved. It made Josephine want to work even harder to make up for everything she lacked.

If only Eleanor weren't being enthusiastic about Leila, again, it might be easier to bear.

"I wish you could understand, Jo," Eleanor said, face sincere. "She has such a gift. It's not that you're not... gifted. But she has this natural talent for things that I can't look away from."

Josephine swallowed. "I understand."

She understood that she was the pity date, but she could take pity. It could only make her stronger. Eleanor didn't love Josephine the way she wanted, but Leila didn't love Eleanor the way Eleanor wanted, and only Josephine was patient enough to win. She was sure of it. She could win Eleanor over with time.

That didn't mean she really wanted to listen to a long story about the latest ever-so-cool thing Leila did. She looked away, surveying the crowd, but her eyes caught on a good-looking couple standing by the viewing window. The guy generically good-looking in that way straight girls seemed to like, something almost aggressive in his too wide grin. The girl bright-eyed and bouncing, a smile wide enough to fit the whole world's happiness in it. The enthusiasm, that's what Josephine was caught by, not the shape of the girl's mouth.

Josephine looked back at Eleanor, who shone with that same bright intensity of enthusiasm. Eleanor's enthusiasm was for another girl. Who knew what mystery girl's enthusiasm was about?

Eleanor didn't seem to notice Josephine looking at someone else. Maybe that's why she chanced a look as they were getting ready to board. It was okay to look. It was maybe a little terrifying to notice the girl, dark eyed and beautiful, looking back.

*

A week after impact

This is why I was meant to notice her, Josephine thought, looking at the blonde in the bed as she placed the name-tagged rainbow bag into a cupboard, next to the black suitcase she'd rescued that bore the same name. There seemed to be a lot of names on the tags, badly rubbed out, but A Silver written over the top in sloppy penmanship, like a vehement declaration of something.

A Silver. If Josephine hadn't seen the rainbow bag next to the girl while they waited to board she would never have known who A Silver was, and then someone might have ransacked these bags for supplies. She'd nearly gotten in a fight over it with whoever was looking through the piled up luggage for things they could take. If Josephine hadn't flexed an arm in a showy declaration of her own maybe there would have been a fight.

Earlier Josephine had been afraid to come in here because A Silver's sort-of-nurse was washing her hair with slow and gentle motions, telling her unconscious body strange things as he worked. Calling the girl his pretty doll, his last hope to salvage himself.

Everything about the hospital intimidated Josephine, the building large and almost empty, the people strange.

Josephine closed the cupboard and went looking for the doctor. She found the doctor standing next to a drip coffee machine, frantically taking notes on something.

"I have delivered the bags to the room!" Josephine declared.

Her foster dad, Ken, always told her if she used a big strong voice and acted confident she could convince people of anything. He liked to put his hands on his hips and do it, and always laughed, carefree, when people treated him like he was strange. She missed him already.

"You're annoyingly enthusiastic about things," the doctor said, her eyes only flicking up to take Josephine in briefly.

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"Ha, ha, yes! It has been suggested I have a lot of energy," Josephine said.

"Go annoy the coma patient, not me."

When Josephine neared A Silver's room again she could see that man was in there again, smoothing out the girl's clothes and hair, remaking the bedding around her. He touched the girl's face, for some reason, then leaned over her. Paused and kissed her forehead.

Josephine turned and walked away, as fast as she could.

*

Four months after impact

The crowd had split into smaller groups. Josephine wasn't sure what to do. Should she try to meet new people? It was always a gamble, doing that. She could puff out her chest and pretend to be confident but getting laughed at dragged her down, and the chances of avoiding laughter were never good.

She couldn't find Eleanor, either. Was she off flirting with Mac again? No, that's not who would be flirting with Mac now. I don't have the right to be jealous of who gets to kiss Angharad, Josephine thought. She slumped against a wall and then straightened up again before anyone could notice. Bad posture wouldn't make her strong and therefore must be avoided.

"Hey, Josephine!" Jin yelled.

Josephine turned to see him standing with a tall girl who wore a red uniform coat very much like the one he sometimes wore.

"You should meet my friend Freya," Jin said. His smile was so big and strong it looked like it was a power beyond his control.

"It's a pleasure to meet such a beautiful woman," Josephine said.

"Oh, I like her already," Freya chirped.

Jin scowled. "You're not allowed to hit on Freya, either."

"Better be careful, Jin," Freya said, "or I'll run off with all the girls in this camp."

"Shut up," Jin said, but he looked pleased to be teased.

Josephine didn't really understand what was going on, but she laughed anyway. It was always easier that way.

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