Chapter 2: 1

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— Our marriage was a failure.

Your heart has not been reciprocated.  I could sympathize with you, but I couldn’t love you.  Maybe that’s what I decided to do.

You may have closed the door to your heart and decided that I was a monster and that I was the sacrifice of a burnt offering.

No one was innocent in this transaction from the start.

Isn’t it funny?  In spite of all this, I hate you.

In the end, our marriage was bound to fail.

* * *

It took Madeline two full days to accept the reality that she had returned to the past.  She didn’t know if she should be scared or delighted that she had returned to 11 years ago.

She was happy, then scared, then happy again.  Was it because of overly intense and complicated emotions?  Her unusual behavior as she appeared drew the attention of Loenfield mansion’s servants as well.

Madeline burst into tears as soon as she saw her butler, Fred, also amplifying the concerns of her employees.

“Mis.  After all, you have a cold…  ”

The expressions of the butler and maids were a sight to behold.

After making a fuss for a while and worrying the staff inside the mansion, Madeline decided to keep quiet after her butler Fred said that he would eventually call her doctor.

When she came to her senses, her own behavior was a bit awkward, but she didn’t withdraw from getting attention.

What she had now was her precious second chance.  She couldn’t waste her precious opportunity to live as a crazy woman.

The morning of the third day.  She finally calmed her mind and looked at herself in front of the mirror.

She had a youthful, young face rather than maturity.  Madeline Loenfield from a time when she was docile and bright and knew nothing of darkness.  Her honey-blond hair, her blue eyes gleamed with playfulness, and her rosy cheeks were fine and soft.

She was a completely different person from her past self, a woman who was so gloomy and cold after a series of misfortunes.

‘But….I have no intention of living in pure silence again.’

Madeline bit her lips as she looked at her face in the mirror.

Even if she sees it, she pretends not to see it, if she doesn’t know, she doesn’t know.  She’ll live that way and she’ll never be unhappy again.

‘I will take care of everything I need and live only for myself.’

The downfall of the Loenfield due to her father’s gambling debts had her married someone who she had never seen before…She had no intention of repeating all those mistakes again.

But…

At seventeen, there was no time. The Loenfield, seemingly glamorous, was financially precarious.  There was still a little over a year left before the reality was fully revealed.

After Madeline’s mother died five years ago, the Baron had been walking on an endless downward spiral.  Baron Loenfield was spending his money like an unbridled pony, and the wealth of the rural aristocrats was fading away.

As Madeline sighed, recognizing her sobering reality, her door opened and her maid Cassie entered.  Cassie was a docile, good-natured maid who served Madeline for a long time.  Her freckled face was friendly and kind.

She was also the last servant to be fired after the Loenfield family went bankrupt.

She looked at Madeline with her very worried look.

“Lady.  Are you okay now?”

“Yes.”

Madeline’s cheeks were red again.  The morning after her regression, as soon as she woke up, she cried in Cassie’s arms, and her face went hot thinking about that.

“Is the Baron arriving today?”

“….”

There was no reason to set the date.  Now, the father must have been on his way back from a tour of another continent with his friends. Madeline’s father, Baron Loenfield, claimed to be a lover of art and philosophy.

In his spare time, he toured southern Europe saying he would imitate Seon-hyeon who left for the grand tour.

‘Grand tour, like the 17th century…’

Madeline’s face darkened. She seemed to have to go through the accounting books right away.  If such a thing even existed.

Not sure how to interpret Madeleine’s complicated expression, but Cassie just brushed her hair. 

“Perhaps he met a nice gentleman in Italy.  It was said Italian men were really cool.”

“…”

Even if he had made friends, he would have been an empty-headed Gangjeong.  Baron Loenfield was high-eyed and vain.  The Baron’s output was getting more and more generous, but he was anxious to maintain the huge mansion… It was like he was swimming in a bubble that was slowly fading away.

She got to know herself after a few days of returning to the past…  Madeline herself was no different.  It was a hard truth to face.  Madeline Loenfield was the beneficiary of that calm bubble.  There, she grew up as a flower in a nice greenhouse.

But how would a flower in such a greenhouse know how to survive alone?

When Madeline’s mood subsided noticeably, Cassie spoke more with excitement to change the mood.

“Perhaps the Baron will tell you an interesting story.”

The Baron and Madeline were close to each other.  After the death of her sensible and strict mother, the two continued role-playing, substituting and fulfilling each other’s fantasies.

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Perhaps that was why the two became increasingly ignorant of the world. They believed that they could protect the pride of aristocrats in a rapidly changing world.

‘But in the end my father abandoned me.’

Madeline looked into the mirror with a calm face.  There sat a weak-looking girl.

In the morning of her past life, the Loenfield’s mansion was confiscated by debtors and banks.

The Baron was found hanging in his study.

His will didn’t even mention Madeline’s name.  It was only for her that there was written content that lamented her own honor and life.

At first glance, the Loenfield was seemingly perfect and the locals envied.  It was a pity that the Baron didn’t have a son, but his daughter was pretty, and her title and wealth looked pretty good.  Besides, he raised his daughter well and married her to a wealthy home, and she was his lucrative business.

But to the country folk, Loenfield was still a local, bold sensation.

Madeline, who knew what was going to happen next, was only anxious.  But she didn’t want to make it obvious.  So she waited for her father as she dressed as usual, drank her tea, and read her book.

But the letters couldn’t catch her eyes.  Madeline, feeling frustrated as if her heart was tightening, put on an outing dress and sneaked out of the house.  Fred, the butler, would always nag that she had to be accompanied by a friend or a maid.

Despite of the time, it was also a very polite greeting.

* * *

Going outside, the fresh air was cool as if it cleaned Madeleine Loenfield’s lungs.

But as she walked, she could not be bright and cheerful.  She looked like a seventeen-year-old lady on the outside, but her insides were already in a state of disrepair, and she was very confused.

Madeline walked along the promenade leading to the beech forest.

Will she be able to live a different life this time?

Can she save her father?

Will she be able to save the family?

But she felt frustrated, as if she had missed something important.  After going up the hill for a while, she saw a carriage in the distance.

The carriage was recognizable at a glance.  It was a black carriage owned by the Loenfield estate.  Madeline waited for the carriage to draw near.

The carriage stopped right in front of Madeline.

She was standing slumped.  She did not know how to treat her father, whom she saw again in nearly 6 years. Will she be happy? Will she be disappointed? Or…

“Madeline. You are here, walking alone.”

…  maybe nothing.

She looked at her father’s brightly smiling face as if nothing had happened, and she thought nothing of it.  It was empty. Everything faded in her, as if her hatred and her longing were worn out and polished away.

Did she have this face?  The well-proportioned face of the handsome man was faded due to his characteristic frivolity.  Madeline inherited his blonde hair and blue eyes.

Her father smiled, revealing his white teeth.  Madeline also smiled reflexively.

“Father.”

But….

“Madeline, we have a very special guest today.  Now, let me introduce my friend.  Master Nottingham.”

“……  ”

It was just before Madeline’s face began to lose color, at that moment, a man sitting across from Baron Loenfield, waving his hat with his hand, offered a ceremonial greeting to Madeline.

The man she saw for the first time….

Madeline tilted her head.  The man in the carriage was tall and had broad shoulders.  Judging from the title Master, it seemed that he was at least the son of a Count…

Jet-black hair and emerald eyes gleamed.  The overall impression was thick, but the facial features were applied to create a sophisticated atmosphere. He was a cold, handsome man.

However, he looked a lot like someone she knew.  It was an unknown face.

‘No, Master Nottingham?’

As realization began to dwell in awareness, Madeline’s complexion face began to turn pale.

The handsome man in front of her was her past husband, Ian Nottingham.

“Come on, get in the carriage.  I have a lot to tell you.”

When Madeleine didn’t say anything, the Baron was perplexed.  Originally, Madeline would have greeted him and smiled broadly like a friendly child.  However, for some reason, her lips were stiff, so it was difficult to even smile.

For nothing, the atmosphere inside the carriage became more subtle.

The cool Baron Loenfield trembled at first.

“Originally, she’s not such a shy kid…  Madeline, are you feeling unwell?  Master, I’m sorry.  The child is not shy.”

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“No, it’s fine.”

The man replied dryly, without looking at Madeline.  He really didn’t care too much.

If she procrastinated more, she thought it would only attract the attention of the man for nothing. Madeline smiled foolishly and sat down next to her father with the help of the coachman.

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