/ Everyday Sweets #10

Amice and the Androids

by

Amice has yet to begin her transition, but now that she and her girlfriend Molle are off of Earth and away from her nasty family that may change. She hasn't told Molle yet, but she's hoping to get an experimental transfer of consciousness to move her mind into a robot body. This nearly splits the couple; Molle insists that Amice's motivations are sour, so Amice turns to her new android friends for advice.

— QuillRabbit

 

“Oh, here’s the stirring spoons,” Amice said, peeking into the box she just opened.

She picked the box up and carried it over to the tiny sterile kitchen, placing it on the counter.

Molle, who was stocking the cabinets, just grunted in reply before asking, “It’s not too small, is it?”

Amice wrapped her arms around Molle and gave her a nice, tight squeeze.

“It’s homey,” she replied. “And, honestly, I’m just glad to be away from Earth.”

“Me too. Me too.”

Amice returned to the den to continue unpacking. In one of the larger boxes was a mirror wrapped up in paper to keep it from shattering. Amice unwrapped the mirror and sighed at her appearance. Thirty years old and she still hadn’t begun her transition, not really. Everyone knew her real name, but they still saw a man when they looked at her.

Maybe Callisto would be different. Molle had been invited, based on her robotics expertise, to help out the local Synthetics Guild, which was one of the leading developmental centers for android research and development. Amice had been happy to drop her going-nowhere career and sign up for the next available shuttle off of Earth. Getting away from her parents and getting to meet a large android population both sounded heavenly.

Callisto also had an Artists Guild, which catered primarily to androids. If Amice could prove her worth, she’d be working alongside some of the machines pioneering a bold new direction for the art world. What she wouldn’t give to meet some of them.

Things weren’t fully unpacked, but Molle eventually told Amice, “Let’s explore a bit before it gets too late.”

The moon hadn’t been fully terraformed, yet, so most of the colony was within domes until the atmosphere could be thickened. It wasn’t brand-new, by any means, but the clean ceramic and wool brick walls surrounded by litter-free walkways of the colony were a lot more comfortable than living in the city had been. Taller buildings crowded the center of each dome, and Amice and Molle spent some time crisscrossing the raised paths between them and staring out the glass dome at Saturn outside.

“A lot more androids than I expected to see,” Amice admitted.

Androids were freely intermixed with the human population. Some were roughly human-looking but with soft, silicone casing of various colors. Others were tall with thin limbs and blank faces that disguised all sorts of sensory devices just beneath their casing. The majority of androids, though, were only about waist-high with casings covered in animal-print patterns. Here and there was an odd one out: one android climbing the wall was rather spider-like, small pixie-like androids flew overhead (the darlings of miniaturization technology), and here and there was one or two that Amice could have completely mistaken for human except for their glowing eyes or seam lines.

Each variation on android design was intended to suit a particular function, of course: some were more social creatures, others designed for physical labor, some for interfacing with electronics. There used to be fewer types of androids, just as there had once been only ten scales for temperature. Inevitably, many designers wanted to create a one-size-fits-all approach to android design, and inevitably it resulted in new competing standards to throw into the mix. If the androids resented the way humanity kept experimenting with them, they did not show it.

“Let’s eat here,” Molle finally said, bringing Amice to what looked like an open-air diner sticking out of the side of a building.

The little shop was staffed entirely by more human-looking androids, one of whom approached the counter when they sat down.

“Oh, they serve ramen here,” Molle said, her face lighting up. “It’s been a while since I’ve had any.”

“This is an eclectic menu,” Amice observed, noting food from several different cultures scattered among the board.

“We get customers from all over,” the android lady behind the counter said. “We want everyone to feel like they have comfort food they’re familiar with.”

“Do you enjoy working here?”

The young lady blinked in surprise and replied, “Yes, I helped organize it.”

Amice nodded. She hadn’t met a lot of androids on Earth, but hearing the way they talked it was clear that they were just as suited for labor as humanity was for luxury. They got stressed out if they didn’t have anything to do and found menial tasks relaxing. This was, of course, a deliberate part of their design to make them better at replacing human labor. It was chilling to think about the ethical implications of that, so Amice just turned back to the menu.

“Do you have any ID?” the serveuse asked.

Molle reached into her purse and pulled out their two cards: her work card from the guild and Amice’s citizenship card for the colony. The android barely glanced at each before nodding. She must have wirelessly checked against some kind of database; Amice faintly remembered androids back on Earth doing the same. The Callisto colonies didn’t have micro-economies, but the distribution of resources was tracked to ensure nobody was taking more than they needed.

Amice finally just ordered a panini. While she talked with Molle, her focus was entirely on the androids working the restaurant. They were just amazing. Androids could look however they wanted and weren’t constrained by the limitations of the human body.

She couldn’t wait to meet more of them.

It took a couple of weeks, but Amice was able to squeeze herself into the Artists Guild and got some studio space in the building they were headquartered out of. She quickly made friends with the other humans who worked there, but her attention was mostly on the androids. She loved seeing their paintings and sculptures and photography. They really brought the outsider’s perspective to art that she had been craving for so long.

One evening, Amice was working on a collage of advertisements from across the colony—a way of looking at local consumer culture and how it differed from place to place—when she heard a knock at the open door.

“Hey there, beautiful,” Molle said, holding out a wicker basket. “We finished our project early today, so I thought you and I could have a little picnic.”

Amice smiled and set her work aside to follow Molle to the roof. They sat in the midst of the gardens and small trees. Personally, Amice thought that the gardens here were prettier than on any other roof in the colony. That must be one of the perks of having artists to take care of your flora.

“I absolutely love it here,” Amice said between bites of her sandwich.

“This is nice,” Molle admitted. “I don’t know if I ever want to leave. But there is something that I’ve been wanting to ask you, Amice.”

“Hmm?”

Molle put down her own sandwich and straightened her back before asking, “Have you given any more thought to how you’re going to start your transition? We’re pretty settled in by now, and I haven’t heard you say much about it. I’d have thought that, now we’re away from your parents, you’d have jumped right on that.”

Amice nodded slowly before admitting, “I have been thinking about that. I signed up for that experimental program that transfers your consciousness into an android body. I just need to go through a bit of psychological screening beforehand.”

Molle didn’t reply at first. Amice could see the gears turning in her head and looked away. She’d known Molle wouldn’t react well.

“You can’t do that!” Molle cried.

“I’m thinking of getting, like, a pair of angel wings, too,” Amice continued, as if she hadn’t heard Molle. “I mean, if you can look like anything, why not—?”

“Amice, stop!” Molle leaned forward. “This is insane! You’re not an android. Just get on HRT like a normal person and stop thinking about doing something so drastic.”

“What? Do you not like androids anymore?” Amice asked, bristling.

“I don’t want my girlfriend to be a robot!”

“They’re not robots,” Amice reminded her. “They’re people.”

Molle flared her nostrils, then took a deep breath and said, “I think I know why you’re doing this. And it’s for the wrong reasons.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Amice demanded.

“I think you’re just doing this to try to escape your body,” Molle said. “You’re so dysphoric that you just want to get rid of it completely.”

Amice winced and turned away.

“That’s not it.”

“Isn’t it?”

Amice stood up.

“It’s getting kind of late,” Amice said. “I need to finish packing up my supplies before I leave. I’ll meet you at home, okay?”

Molle didn’t say anything more as she started packing up the remaining food. They didn’t speak to each other again before departing. Amice returned to her little studio office and started reorganizing things.

There was another knock on the door. Amice sighed and turned to snap at whoever it was. Upon seeing an android there, though, she faltered. The android in question was human-shaped with gold silicone casing. His expression was contorted into concern.

“Are you alright, Amice?” he asked. “You look upset.”

Amice sighed.

“I… appreciate the concern, Malvolio, but honestly I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

Malvolio nodded, telling her, “If you need to talk, I’m always here.”

Things remained strained between Molle and Amice for the next couple of days. Amice was still signed up for the project, and none of Molle’s snippy comments could change her mind. Things were compounded by the fact that the stress was hurting Molle’s performance at work, which made her more anxious at home. Amice’s friends at the guild, too, could tell that things were not well for her in her personal life.

“Is there anything we can do?” Pippi asked while she was helping to digitize Amice’s project.

Pippi was a waist-high android, her orange casing marked with tiger stripes. She had a pair of cat-like ears, though a lot of smaller androids had that regardless of what animal they took after. It helped a lot with nonverbal communication, supposedly.

“I don’t think so,” Amice replied, leaning up against the table and sighing. “I just wish Molle was more understanding of my feelings.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to tell us what’s going on?”

“...Can we do it somewhere private?” Amice asked.

“Go see if the roof is free. I’ll get the others.”

Amice waited in the garden for the others to arrive, shifting nervously. She hadn’t told any of her android friends about her plan and wasn’t sure how they’d react. This could be a huge faux pas she was committing.

Pippi returned with Malvolio and another android named Aelita. Aelita was a little shorter than Amice and kind of stocky, with a hunched form, sharp talons, and a long lizard-like tail. She was a model from a line that had been built for combat before being abruptly discontinued. The blue of her ceramic plating was scuffed in places from her explorations onto Callisto’s surface, but she refused to get a new paint job as stubbornly as Amice had refused to get her hair cut growing up.

“Alright,” Pippi said, hopping up on a low ledge. “Tell us what’s on your mind, Amice.”

Amice took a deep breath, then said, “Molle and I have been fighting because I signed up for that program that lets people move their minds into android bodies.” She paused, then asked, “Is that, like, offensive or something?”

“Should it be?” Malvolio asked.

“I mean… It’s not like I was born an android. I’m trying to insert myself into a culture that I’m not a part of.”

Aelita, in her soothing cool voice, explained, “I don’t think we have out-groups the way that humans have out-groups. Changing your body is going to change your experience moving forward, and you’ll have a different past experience than we do, but who you are isn’t changing.” She did her best to approximate a shrug. “It’s not like we don’t change our chassis from time to time, either. I mean, I don’t, but a lot of androids do.”

“Yeah,” Pippi added, “I think we’re a lot more relaxed than humans give us credit for. I don’t really see androids complaining about this program on the net or anything.”

You are reading story Santa’s Secret Transfic Anthology Vol. 2 at novel35.com

“That’s a relief,” Amice admitted, a weight falling from her shoulders. Then she tensed up again and admitted, “Molle thinks I’m doing this for the wrong reasons. But I just want to be able to be happy with my body for a change. I know it’s drastic, but I can’t stay stuck looking like this forever. There’s no way hormones alone will be able to fix what’s wrong with me and I really don’t like the thought of dozens of invasive surgeries; I’ll spend more of my life recovering than I am actually living, you know?”

Malvolio and Aelita shared a look while Pippi scratched behind her ear.

Pippi was the first to say, “Amice, it kind of sounds like you’re trying to escape the body you have now more than choosing something that will make you happier for its own sake.”

“There’s a psych screening before the process actually happens, right?” Malvolio asked. “If I were performing it, I don’t think I’d pass you based on what you just said.”

“...Okay, so maybe I hate my body a little more than I should,” Amice admitted, her face burning, “but getting away from it will help make me feel better. Should I be denied treatment because I don’t like having the condition?”

Aelita, her tail curled around her leg, responded, “No, you’re right; the intention of the program is to eventually make it freely available to physically disabled people who want it, and I can’t imagine anyone trying to police their motivation. Not an android, at least. I see where Molle is coming from, though. Are you actually interested in embracing something new that will completely change your life, or are you just desperate enough to try something drastic to escape your dysphoria?”

“You’re saying you think I’ll regret this.”

“We don’t know,” Pippi admitted, shrugging. “We’ve only known you for a short amount of time. But if there were another magical way to get a body you’d be happy with, would you choose that instead?”

Amice sighed, then said, “I… don’t know. Maybe.”

Malvolio brought Amice over to a bench and sat the two of them down.

“Why do you want to become an android?” he asked. “Tell me only the things you like about it that don’t have to do with your dysphoria.”

“Well… you’re sturdy as fuck, to start with. Nothing ever seems to hurt an android. And the mental network connection sounds just amazing. Can you imagine how lonely humans are, even with the communications technology we have? Being able to touch other people’s minds at a moment’s notice would completely change what everyday life is like. And Aelita just… gets to go outside, whenever she wants! I wouldn’t have to be bound by the limitations of human need anymore.” She frowned. “I probably would miss food, though. It’s not fair that androids can’t eat.”

“Someone will invent a way,” Aelita mused. “Give it time.”

“What about your dysphoria, then?” Pippi asked. “What things are you struggling with that the traditional way of transitioning wouldn’t fix?”

“Well, like I said, unless I want a lot of intense, invasive surgeries, nothing is going to be able to change my bone structure or the size of my frame. I’ll always have a voice that’s been damaged by puberty, even if I learn to control it. And the information that I’m AMAB is always going to be out there, available to someone, even if it’s only doctors who need my medical history.” There were tears in her eyes. “I’m never going to truly be able to escape this body as long as I stay human.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t escape, then,” Aelita suggested. Amice opened up her mouth to object, but Aelita continued, “I’m not saying you shouldn’t go through with the process, but it sounds like you have some resentment towards being trans that you need to work through before a psychologist will approve you.”

“A lot of those physical things are true for plenty of AFAB people,” Malvolio reminded Amice. “At least, according to what the colony medical staff says. You wouldn’t look as out of place as you think you would.”

“I’ve talked to a couple other trans people in the past,” Pippi admitted. “They seem as proud to be trans as I am to be an android. Perhaps even more so. You don’t have to hate that part of yourself.”

Amice was crying openly now. It took a few moments for her to steady her breath. Then, she nodded.

“Thank you,” she said. “You’ve all given me a few things I need to consider.”

Malvolio placed his hand on Amice’s arm and asked, “Are you going to feel alright?”

“Yeah,” she said, wiping some tears away. “Yeah, I am. Thank you, again. I just need a few days to think about what you’ve said. Maybe I have been going after this for the wrong reasons.”

“We’re here for you, anytime, if you need us,” Aelita insisted.

“I know.” Amice sniffed. “How about we all get back to work?”

There was a round of hugs before everyone headed back down. One by one, they split off to return to their respective studios. Once Amice was back in hers, she sat down and took a deep breath.

She should probably head home for the day and just contemplate what happened. But there was still one other thing she wanted to get started on before that. Pulling together her paints and a few pencils, Amice started sketching out what would become her self-portrait. Maybe it was a “before” portrait, to memorialize who she was before she got her new body. Or maybe it was an affirmation of what she looked like and how that was okay, too. Whatever Amice decided to do with herself, the portrait would be what she needed it to be.

Things at home calmed down a little bit after that. Molle still seemed a little on edge, but Amice had stopped stoking the fire. It seemed that things weren’t going to explode, at least.

The evening before her psych evaluation, Amice sat down on the couch next to Molle, who was already in her pajamas and just staring at the screen on the wall. She tensed up when Amice sat down, but said nothing. Amice crossed her legs and leaned back, taking a deep breath.

“How are you feeling?” she asked gently.

“I’m tired, Amice.”

“From work?”

“Yeah, that too.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Molle sighed, replying, “Not really.” There was a long pause before she asked, “Are you still going to do it?”

Amice nodded. “I’m still going through with it. But, Molle, you were right.”

Her girlfriend gave her a long, intense stare.

“How can you say that and still be committed to this?” Molle demanded. “What is going through your head, Amice? Because I feel like I don’t understand you anymore.”

“You were right about me doing it for the wrong reasons. I talked with some of my friends, and they got me to see that you were right about me. You didn’t want to talk about this, so I didn’t bring it up, but I’ve been seeing a therapist twice a week the past month. I needed to learn to accept who and what I was. Running away was never going to solve my problems. But I haven’t changed my mind; I still want an android body of my own.”

“And how do you think that makes me feel?!” Molle cried, springing to her feet. “Amice, think about this! How am I supposed to feel when you walk through the door and you look completely different? What happens when we can’t eat meals together? I won’t even be able to touch you and know that you’re the same person. I want you, Amice. Throwing away your body is too much.”

Amice’s expression fell.

“It’s not going to be too much change,” she insisted.

“Yes, it will be!” Molle cried, tearing up. “How can you say that it won’t?”

“Molle—” Amice stood up and placed her hands on her girlfriend’s arms. “—not much is going to change. Just how I look. I’ll still be me. We’ll still sit on the couch and hold each other in our arms. We’ll talk while you eat. Maybe if we weren’t asexual, that could be a problem, but there is nothing about our relationship that this can take away from us.”

“...Promise?”

“I promise.”

Molle’s legs were weak. She fell back down to the couch. Amice sat down next to her, holding her girlfriend’s warm body against her.

“I want you to be happy,” Molle said. “If this is what it takes, then fine. I’ll support you, Amice. But you know it’s not going to be easy for me.”

Amice pulled Molle’s head to her chest and replied, “As long as you’re willing to try, things will be fine. I swear on my life.”

The two spent the rest of the night in each other’s arms. The next day, they shared a long, passionate kiss before Molle had to leave for work. Amice went to her psych evaluation and all went well. Everything was lining up; Amice was well on her way to getting the body of her dreams.

***

It took a little bit of time for Amice to realize that she was even awake. This was such an odd experience, unlike any she’d ever had before. Something was stirring at the edge of her consciousness. She pushed against it and felt the buzzing of countless points of data.

That must be the shared network that androids were a part of.

When she opened her eyes, Amice was lying on a table in the middle of a sterile white room. It was barely big enough to fit the table in, though someone had managed to shove a standing mirror into the corner. Amice pulled herself into a sitting position, feeling a thick cord pull at the base of her neck. She reached behind her and pulled it out, feeling herself disconnect from the power source.

Amice pulled herself from the table and stood in front of the mirror. Though she was naked, there wasn’t anything about this appearance that could be called lewd. Her body was covered by an electric blue silicone casing, with visible metal joints in her arms and legs. The new skin was soft and even warm to the touch, and running hands across her arms Amice noted how similar the sensation of nerve endings was to her human body. Her face was a faithful recreation, but softer around the edges and with a smaller nose. And her hair–not many androids had hair, but she had insisted–was dark blue filaments that came down to her chin, neatly framing her face.

The biggest adjustment, though, was the two black feathery wings sprouting out of her back, feathers made from the same filaments as her hair. Amice spent at least forty-five minutes twitching every muscle in her back and wings, getting a feel for how they moved in the limited space she had available. She was so caught up in the experience that she didn’t even notice when the door opened.

“Wow,” Molle said, utterly stunned. “You look… amazing.”

“It seems like it’s backless shirts for me from now on,” Amice admitted, stepping into the hallway and grabbing Molle in a tight hug.

For a moment, the two simply hugged and kissed and ran their hands over the other. But Amice was expected for a debriefing to make sure that the transfer had gone off without a hitch. The two departed for a while, sharing a drawn-out kiss that seemed to last forever.

Once Amice had been given the green light, she donned a one-piece suit to cover her modesty and slipped into a pair of boots. Molle held her hand as they walked through the colony. It was probably just a comfort thing, but Amice was so distracted that it certainly helped to keep her from wandering off.

Walking through the colony as an android was quite a different experience. The wings made her stand out more quite a bit; she had to keep them clutched tightly against her body to weave through the crowds without bumping into anyone. She could also feel the presence of other androids at the edge of her consciousness. She could push against them and they’d push back as a greeting. If she searched, she knew exactly where Malvolio, Pippi, and Aelita were at the moment. Amice sent a quick message their way, and they responded that they were glad to hear she was doing well after the procedure.

Once they were home, Molle admitted, “I’m a little peckish. Can you wait while I get something to eat?”

“Absolutely,” Amice replied, sitting down at the little table they shared.

While Molle worked on her food, Amice accessed the net directly. It wasn’t much different from the human net, at least on the surface. There was something that had been nagging at Amice for a little while, now: she almost never heard androids talking about relationships. So she asked what was up with that.

Amice was able to keep conversation with Molle as she ate and still had processing power to spare for the responses she was getting. Apparently, romantic relationships were uncommon, but not unheard of, for androids. It was exceptionally rare, however, for an android to be in a relationship with a human.

When Molle had finished eating, the two retired to the couch to cuddle. Amice held Molle in her arms, humming softly and taking in Molle’s scent. This was absolute paradise.

She explained what she’d learned to Molle, who replied, “Hmm, that’s interesting. But it does sound just like you to be the pioneer of something new and exciting.”

Amice chuckled.

“Yeah,” she replied. “I guess it does.”

She hugged Molle a little tighter. Things had definitely changed for Amice, but she had a feeling her relationship was just as stable as before. And she was excited to embrace what this new life had in store for them.

 

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— QuillRabbit

 

/ Everyday Sweets #10

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