Chapter 11: Chapter 11: Male Fragility

Eventually, Lydia’s father overcame his sulking and ventured down into the living room. He saw his daughter curled up next to his wife and muttered as he walked into the kitchen and rummaged in the fridge for a quick snack.

“She admires you, you know, Dan,” Diane called to him.

“I know s-he does,” he sighed, “I just don’t know how I’m going to break it to him about his grandfather.”

“I told you what she wants from us last night,” Diane replied, staring into his eyes, “I don’t see how, with how filled with joy she is, it could be against the Lord’s will.”

“I don’t make these decisions, as much as I’d like to. It’s a sign of the end times, I think, to tell you the truth. Let’s not be deceived. The devil come bringing all sorts of temptations,” Dan replied, scratching the back of his neck as he made a sandwich.

“That’s true, but, usually they’re a little more…wicked, aren’t they?” she asked in reply, “Lydia just seems to want to be our child all the same.”

“You’ll only encourage him, you know,” he said, taking a bite of the sandwich.

“I think she needs a little encouragement, to tell you the truth,” Diane replied, “I did some research on people like her, and it’s pretty common that they suffer for years before this sort of thing becomes known to them. When it does, it’s important to their flourishing that they have help from family. I read some christian blogs on–”

A fist slammed on the counter, and Diane stared in shock at her husband as he stood there, shaking and red. Lydia began to stir, startled by the noise, and looked up at her mother.

“Out,” Diane spoke, “you’re leaving until you can behave yourself properly around our child.”

Lydia looked worriedly at her father as he nodded, and pulled his boots on. She swore she could see him shed a single tear as he left. She looked to her mother, as if for an explanation, but her mother remained expressionless until the door locked behind him and the truck engine started.

“Mom?” Lydia asked, “what happened with dad?”

“I wish I knew, honey,” Diane replied, “he…was a much gentler man when he was younger. But I think he has a lot of expectations from his father, and he passed them down to you. You have always been his pride and joy, and it’s much easier for me to be excited about having a new daughter than it is to him, losing a son.”

“But I’m the same person, mom,” Lydia insisted, “I just look different and can’t do as much muscle stuff.”

“Yes, dear,” Diane replied, petting her daughter’s ears, “I think that’s what a lot of men are proud of, though.”

“Muscles?”

“That, yes,” her mother said, pausing to collect herself, “but more, masculinity, in general. Toughness, strength, boldness, leadership, that sort of thing.”

“I guess,” Lydia replied, “but that’s never seemed to make him happy.”

“I don’t think it’s about happiness,” Diane replied, looking out the window at the spring morning sun, “I think it’s about not disappointing some perceived version of yourself.”

Lydia nodded and continued to snuggle her mother silently for a few more minutes before hopping up, giving her a hug, and walking downstairs. She decided she’d text Alexis, finally, after a few days of silence.

Hey

Hope u r doing well

While she expected to be waiting a while, a typing bubble popped up almost immediately.

Hi omg lydia im so sorry its been 4ever ive just been so busy

Lydia sighed as she typed her reply

Busy w what? lol

This time, the bubbled popped up for a few more minutes. Lydia was almost worried that something had gone wrong, that bad news was being broken, and that Alexis just didn’t know how to put it.

So u know what happened to u and annika? It happened to like, half the class 2. It was crazy and my parents r organizng a meeting bc they r on school board

Lydia blinked twice as she thought about how to reply.

They changed genders??

Another few seconds and:

Not all of them but a lot r animal ppl like u or have wierd hair

Lydia decided to call Alexis and talk with her about it.

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“Hey!” a voice picked up on the other end of the line “I can’t talk for long, mom and dad want to go to Omaha for something tonight.”

“Right, but you can’t just say something like that and not expect me to ask for more clarification!” Lydia replied exasperatedly.

“Well to be fair, you would’ve heard about it on Monday regardless.”

“That might be true, but I was worried Annika and I would be the only ones, plus church tomorrow! At least now I know I’ll probably see some other people who did the same. Weird that it happened all the same night, tho.”

“Well,” Alexis replied, “that might have to do with one of the popular girls doing it last full moon.”

“Wait, really?”

“C’mon, don’t tell me you didn’t see the new linebacker-built guy around the halls.”

“Jeez, that’s who that was?”

“Yeah, I know. They kept it on the DL and said he was a transfer but that was after a lotta fuckin hush money.”

“Wow, that’s fun.”

“Yeah, I know,” Alexis said, changing gears, “aaaanyways, how are things with your parents? Your mom seemed pretty freaked.”

“She actually changed her mind a lot over the past few days. I think the ears really sold her,” Lydia replied.

“I mean, I can see why. They’re so soft! Gosh, I just wanna pet them again!! Even Annika’s aren’t as soft as yours.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“As you should.”

“Nerd.”

“Dork.”

A few seconds of silence elapsed before both of them burst into a fit of giggles. In the background, Lydia heard a muffled call for Alexis’ name.

“Well, that’s dad, I gotta go. See you around?”

“For sure! See you on Monday!”

Lydia hung up and put the phone gently on her nightstand, then looked over at the pile of laundry. Her mom probably wasn’t going to be as cross anymore about it, but would still lecture her on cleanliness if she didn’t put all her new clothes away. Slowly, she took all her old clothes out of the dresser and put them in the bags where the old clothes were. She heard a knock on her door.

“Come in!” she called.

“Dear, could you please–oh look at you, so thoughtful! You’ve never been this diligent with chores before!” her mother said as she opened the door.

“Thanks, mom!” Lydia replied, smiling proudly.

“This transformation has really done you some good, though, remember to separate the underwear out, I can’t donate that to the thrift store.”

“Sorry,” Lydia said, combing through the clothes she’d already packed and pulling it all out.

“No problem dear, just remember to set something nice aside for church tomorrow too!” her mother called as she shut the door again.

Lydia sighed frustratedly as she kept combing through her old clothes. She’d left the drawers a bit of a mess, all sorts of clothes mixed in with each other. She’d never really organized her clothes before, just sort of throwing things on. It had only been a few days since she was wearing day-old basketball shorts and a t-shirt with a generic logo on it all day, so she couldn’t exactly fault herself for having been messy.

It did seem easier to get even basic chores like this done, easier to tolerate the unenjoyable parts of life, after the transformation. She held up a shirt she used to wear often, a grey t-shirt with a generic brand logo, and held it against her body. She was sure shorter than she used to be, that much was obvious, but she couldn’t imagine even casually wearing anything like this anymore.

She realized her father probably wanted her to go back, and she knew she could refuse, Cindy had told her so, but she was worried about the consequences for her mother, especially if her mother continued to be such a big supporter of her. That would paint a target on both of their backs. She wished it were easier, easier to just live life. Maybe if what Alexis said wasn’t an exaggeration, people would soon accept the new normal, maybe even some adults would join in?

She soon finished sorting the clothes and putting the new clothes in the drawers, feeling rather accomplished. She pulled a black dress out of one of the drawers and tried her best to flatten the wrinkles out, along with some nylons, and set them out for tomorrow. The shoes her mother had given her would have to do until they could go to the store again. Her mother called for dinner, and she obligingly ran upstairs.

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