Opening my eyes, it seems someone picked me up and put me back into my bed from the study.
Looking out the window, I can guess that I passed out for at least three or four hours, I guess that's what happens when you run out of mana huh.
Still, that's a little disappointing. I have what, three spells worth of mana?
No, that can't be true. That last time I just get spewing out magic, I probably used a lot more in that ten seconds than the two spells combined.
Okay, most importantly, I need to find out how to stop the flow of mana once I start it mentally. What's the disconnect between that and casting a spell even if it feels the same?
There's so much to discover and I'm only so patient!
Placing my hand forward, I begin once again to eject mana as I did before, and after about twenty seconds of mana expenditure, my body begins to shiver and I can feel myself falling.
What am I doing wrong?
///
My second birthday came and went, and after nearly nine months I'm left with as many questions as I have discoveries.
Most importantly, this book is wrong. Just flat out incorrect. Either it's outdated, purposefully misleading, or the world has been fooled.
Mana is not set in stone and only able to be gained via slow meditation at all! The more mana I use in practice and training, the more my mana pool grows!
It's not a one-to-one amount of growth either, when I first started casting magic I could barely cast Push four times, or keep pushing out mana for at most twenty seconds.
Now, in nine short months of constantly cycling my mana, I can keep the wind flowing out of my palm for hours at a time! In these last three months, I've started expending mana out of both hands and my feet just to make the most out of my free time!
I haven't cast Push or any spell in as many months so I have no idea how many times I could cast it at this point, but based on what I know I don't think I could cast it enough to drain myself at this point.
On that thought, I have a general idea of what it feels like to run out of mana. At around fifty percent, I start to feel a bit chilly, at twenty-five percent remaining I'm as cold as waking up in winter, and once I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel my body begins to shake in the pure cold I feel.
I don't know if this is due to the nature of the spell I'm casting, that being just letting out a constant flow of wind magic, or if it's just how mana exhaustion works. I can also feel myself getting physically weaker the more mana I expend, to the point that I pass out once I'm all used up.
I've learned to control the amount of mana I push out, making the gentle breeze more violent than the spell Push ever was, to a barely noticeable draft coming from my index finger.
Either way, for the past months I've done nothing but eat, practice basic hygiene, and abuse my mana until I pass out. However, even with the months of progress and training, I'm no closer to solving my one problem.
How do I stop my mana after I've started?
No matter how much I focus, no matter how much mana I push out or how much I try to limit it, it always continues to flow.
For the past few days I've been unable to return to the study as the maids and the rest of my family seem to be very active. I have no idea what is happening and don't really care, but it's completely stopping me from sneaking into the study to read. I mean, if you saw a two-year-old reading about anatomy and physiology, you'd think he was weird too!
So, without any other spell or feeling to base my findings on, it appears I'm going to be a mono-wind mage for the time being.
Well, it's a new day and a new idea. Placing my palm forward, I reach back into the recesses of my mind and try to recall the incantation for Push. There may be a clue within the spell itself and not the feeling.
"I call upon the air, bestow upon me a gift of strength, Push"
A very familiar feeling overcomes me, as the mana travels from my chest, and out my hands. The spell casts as normal, sending what amounts to a ball of wind out of my hand to hit the wall in front of me with a 'knock'.
However, instead of having the mana continue to flow, it stops, as the remaining mana within my arm retreats back to my center.
What is it? What's the difference?
Casting the spell again, I close my eyes and deeply focus on the traveling of mana.
Weird. The mana feels as if it's slowing down in certain spots as it reaches my hand, but that's not all.
As soon as it reaches the tips of my fingers, it collects externally on my palm and then fires.
After firing, that's it!
As the ball fires from my palm, at the same time, there's a small almost shock that comes from the places in which the mana slowed down originally! Like blood being told to flow to a certain area, it seems these spots control when and how the mana flows.
My method completely skip these points, allowing for a faster flow of mana, but by disregarding them, I never realized that they were there. This has to be it! This has to be the key to stopping my mana!
///
It was not the key to stopping the flow of my mana. At least, not at first.
In the week or so I've spent focusing entirely on these 'mana nodes' I'll call them have revealed a few important facts.
Firstly, 'mana nodes' are located all throughout my body, and it seems whenever I cast a spell, they supply the spell moving through my body with additional mana.
Secondly, 'mana nodes' also act as mana intake areas. By meditating, I realized that whenever I cast, mana both comes in and goes out of these nodes, most notably the nodes in my hands and shoulders.
Thirdly, is my solution. Once I begin to allow mana to flow out into a spell, what triggers it to stop are the mana nodes. So, as soon as I want to stop channeling mana and turn that into a spell, I simply have to will the mana nodes to. In essence, it's solved!
Sure, it's rough and it'll take some getting used to, but this should allow me to cast without incantations or invocations! I'll most likely have to still use invocations or incantations for new spells until I know the timing and how they feel to cast, but I can still do it!
Thank god that's over. I've been doing nothing but making myself feel like shit for the past few months, it's time for some good ol' rest and recuperation.
Just as I was about to lay back down on my bed, my door swings open, and the hotter of the two female maids enters my room.
"Come with me young master, Lord Damien would like to see you." The maid says, gesturing me gracefully to follow her.
Great.. I really set off a flag with that last one huh.