"Twenty-seven," I say, trying my best to keep a straight face and confident pose.
Vanessa sighs deeply and shakes her head.
"Antonio, I need you to answer truthfully, understanding your party's ability to take this quest hinges on your identity being verified," Vanessa said, grimacing as she glanced once again down at my union identification.
"Eight years old," I say, wincing and sighing as it comes out, as just about everyone's face is different in the room.
Vanessa facepalms, the replacement mook looking at my Alter Ego form in disbelief, Ivy falling into what looks like a state of complete denial, and Flare looking at me as if she's seen a ghost.
"I understand you've already been registered, formed a party, and been accepted by the client to take on the job, but without a substantial explanation, I'm going to have to revoke your union membership. Your body is not that of an eight-year-old human, and frankly, the rest of this information seems completely outlandish." Vanessa said, her tone losing all warmth and her eyes staring daggers into me.
Here we go.
"To answer the first issue, this isn't my true form," I say, dropping Alter Ego before finishing. "This is."
Flare and Ivy remain mostly unchanged, but the look of disbelief on Vanessa and her partner's faces is almost comical.
Yet before they're able to get a word in edge-wise, I clear my throat and continue.
"It is true that my biological age is eight years old, yet my mental age is closer to that of a twenty-year-old. Due to a magical anomaly that I was forcefully exposed to, to put it lightly, I gained a second form. Whilst I maintain one form, my other one does not age. So, the form you saw previously is my 'second' body, which I stayed in for years until I learned I was able to regain my old form. So, whilst the age of my true body sits around eight years old, my true mental age is older." I say, as Vanessa sighs deeply and sits back in her chair.
This is the best lie I could come up with in the two hours I had. It sounds ridiculous, but a whole lot more believable than the truth.
Also, there's no chance I'd tell anyone the real truth.
I would either be burned at the stake for being an emissary of a potentially evil god or dissected and tortured for research on reincarnation and information from my world.
That, plus I'd never be able to tell anyone I killed myself.
People would look at me funny.
"I understand your hesitation with coming forward with that, and I apologize for prying. I'll make an appeal to the head office to circumvent the 'no children' policy within the union. I have no reason to doubt your story, so we can continue as normal." Vanessa says, sitting back up and her face and tone returning to normal.
However, based on the gazes and faces from the rest of my party, I had a lot of explaining and a lot more lying to do.
"Specialization?" Vanessa asked, actually her warm voice and tone finally back to normal.
"Water and Earth mage, C-rank. I also have advanced scholars qualifications and the associated licenses." I say as Vanessa nods yet I can feel the strong gazes from both Ivy and Flare grow ever stronger.
"Have you ever been associated with any grey guild?"
"Nope. Unless hunter's mark is a grey guild." I say, as Vanessa simply shakes her head and continues.
"Have you ever participated in an assault on a political figure, including anyone of knight rank or above?"
"Due to the fact I've never assaulted anyone, I'd say no," I reply, trying to defuse the obvious tension still lingering in the room.
"Have you ever done protection for a political figure of knight rank or above? Outside of Lady Delarus of course." Vanessa says, taking what I was planning to say before I could utter it.
"Nope," I reply, finally we're getting into the easy questions.
"Are you or any of your family related to prominent political figures?"
Shit.
"Uh, I think my birth father is a nobleman, but I truly have no idea," I say, which is the genuine truth.
We had a two-story house and multiple servants, but I have no idea if we were just rich or nobles.
"Well, given that you're not even sure about your nobility, I can assume you're not in line for any facets of political power?"
"Nope, even if I was before, I doubt I am now," I say, once again the full truth.
I mean, they probably think I'm dead, right? There's no chance that any sane person would think that their three-year-old could simply just survive alone in the forest.
"Do you share any blood with any Immortal Races or races who live longer than five hundred years?" She asked, wrapping up the interview.
"Not that I know of." Again, full honesty. I mean, fuck maybe my third great-grandmother is an immortal witch, so better safe than sorry.
"Alright, that just about wraps up the interview, just one question, something Severus seems very keen on asking you about your past," Vanessa said, stopping me and the party from packing our things and leaving.
"What is it?" What could they possibly want to know? They already know my proficiency with magic, already know my employment, and already know exactly who and what I am, what else is there left? Something related to Taf?
"Hypothetically speaking, are you by chance related to house Razorhog? Specifically, the reported missing and likely dead son to the now late Count Damien Razorhog, survived by his wife, Stephaine WitchThread Razorhog? Hypothetically, of course." Vanessa said, her warm smile never leaving her face, yet for some reason looking a lot smugger than I'm used to.
Is that a threat? Why is it posed as a hypothetical?
"Hypothetically, if I happened to be, what would come from it?" I asked, slowly getting up and gesturing for Ivy and Flare to do the same.
"Purely hypothetically? You'd have a lot of explaining to do to our dear friend Severus, and we could contact Countess Razorhog, delivering the joyous news that her son, who according to reports was kidnapped at age three, is alive, healthy, and was raised by a group of scholars." Vanessa said, her smug grin nearly making my eye twitch.
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I looked Vanessa square in the eyes.
"Say I wanted you to, suppress that information and neglect to inform the Countess, what would a hypothetical alternative be?" I thought the union was better than this!
At least Severus made it out to be. Maybe he's an outlier, and the rest are as bad as I expect bureaucrats to be.
"Of course, that could hypothetically be arranged. However, in return, Severus would like a sample of your blood, as well as an explanation to how you remember your relation to a house you only knew at the age of three." Vanessa said, her smug grin growing even wider.
Fuck! I played right into their hands.
Since I've been sentient and able-bodied the entire time, I completely forgot a baby taken at age three would have no memories of home.
God, I really am an idiot.
"Alright, bring him in," I say, as Vanessa's extra simply chuckles.
"Bring him in? I'm right here, just using a little trick I saw you use one too many times to forget." The man continued to chuckle, as a grey smoke fizzled from his body, transforming him into the Union Branch Leader, Severus Hydrus. "Beautiful lie about the whole second body thing, but beautiful is all it is."
Fuck.
I need to think of something ???????????????????? now.