Chapter 10: Homecoming

“Hello, my name is Serena Moore. It’s a pleasure to see you again.”

Me and Mako-chan had talked for ages about our shared experiences, even as Mina and Artemis had to leave (promising to drop off my clothes at my hotel room as Mina rushed to get to her next film shooting). Mako’s presence made me feel hopeful for my future as I realized that all of womanhood was going to become open to me.

Not just in the context of having children or getting married (which I wasn’t quite certain about for either) but in the context of femininity coming so easily and naturally for her. She was a living testament to the fact that, no matter how we were born, we had the power to become who we were always meant to be.

After eating our fill of lunch and cleaning up, I asked Mako to take me here so I could finally properly thank Usagi for the gift she had given me.

I understood now why she had accepted me so readily. She had seen, in that moment, my desperate fight against the monster outside and the monster inside. She saw an echo of the person that I was in my heart. She saw that I, like Mako, could become so much more. I owed her more than I could ever pay back, but the least I could do was thank her personally.

Usagi’s home was, like Reiko’s or Mako’s, set into her business. Usagi had apparently become a doctor and was running a clinic which she lived on the floor above.

I had to admit that I was a little shocked that she had been able to become a doctor given what I knew of her academic achievements, but according to Mako, Usagi was a lot smarter than she gave herself credit for in the comics.

We had stepped around the clinic to the staircase up to their house and rang the doorbell. When the door opened, I immediately bowed and introduced myself with my real name.

Only to find that I was not, in fact, facing Usagi but a much younger girl.

She was high school age, I guessed, wearing a studded leather jacket and matching belt, concert tee-shirt and torn denim skirt. She wore long, thigh-high combat boots with striped black-and-white stockings peeking above the bootcuffs. Her wrists were covered in a mixture of colorful and aggressive jewelry ranging from rainbow beads to studded leather. And at her throat was a choker with a black, heart-shaped jewel set into it.

Her face was utterly disdainful, with her eyes (heavily painted in eyeshadow and eyeliner) looking me up and down with undisguised annoyance. Her hot-pink hair was cut in with an irregular fringe, with two pigtails stemming out of it.

“あんた はだれ?” she said, eyebrow raised. “Who are you?”

“あ-あの,” I stumbled, still in shock, “うさぎさんはここにいますか？” “U-um.... Is Miss Usagi here?”

“ママはクリニックで働いている,” she said with a sneer. “Mom’s working in the clinic.” She pointed downstairs.

“ママ?” I said, blinking in realization, “Mom?” I rocked back in surprise. “Holy fucking shit you’re Chibi Moon…” I whispered in English.

Apparently she had heard and understood what I said, because the next moment, I felt her grabbing me by the collar and roughly pulling me into her face, with a fist cocked behind her. “Call me that again,” she hissed in English, “And I will put you in the fucking ground, bitch.”

“Naomi-chan,” said Mako, putting a hand on her shoulder, “She didn’t mean anything by it.”

The girl cast another furious look at me before releasing her surprisingly strong grip. “Whatever…” She continued to look at me curiously. “You’re her, aren’t you? That’s Mom’s brooch.” She poked at the jewelry hanging from my neck, now visible as she had pulled down the neck of my coat.

“Uh… yes,” I said, straightening myself up nervously, “I’m Serena.”

“Nao,” she said, coolly. She turned around. “Come inside. Mom’ll be done with work soon. You’re letting out all the heat.”

Nervously, I stepped into their home.

It was, just like Mako’s, small, but still cozy. There was another kotatsu in the center of the room, a kitchen in the corner and a TV that was quietly showing some anime in the corner. The home had some flowers as decor, but also seemed to have a number of plushies on a shelf on the far wall. The place had a strong affinity for pink as the walls and even the kotatsu were colored a very pastel pink color.

A very flushed form with tousled hair popped out of the kotetsu nervously. “なおちゃん?誰ですか?” “Nao-chan? Who is it?”

“まこさんと  フェイク戦士だ,” said Nao derisively. “Mako-san and the fake senshi.”

“日本語がわかるよ,” I said, scowling, “フェイクじゃないよ!” “I understand Japanese, you know!… and I’m not a fake!”

“Whatever,” said Nao, turning back to face me, “I don’t care how many languages you speak and I don’t care how many trinkets my Mom gives you, you are not one of us. Senshi are the reincarnations and heirs to a legacy from over ten thousand years ago… You’re just some kid Mom had pity on.”

I crossed my arms over my chest, indignantly. Jesus christ, this kid was even more of a pain than her anime incarnation. I was a goddamn superhero and like fuck would I let this little shit speak to me like that. “‘Some kid’, huh? Pretty tough talk from a brat like you, Small Lady.”

Nao flushed furiously and, in a whir of motion, she arced a high kick directly at my face. While I didn’t want to hurt the kid, I also didn’t want to take a foot to the face, so I threw out an arm to block it.

The jerk of impact was much more than I had been expecting. I had underestimated her strength and it occurred to me at that moment that my gender transition really had sapped some of my muscular strength. I needed to adjust my balance, as I had to put every ounce of my weight into not getting toppled over by the blow.

“Listen,” I said, my anger receding as she drew back into a fighting stance, “Sorry for calling you that, I just-”

She leaned forward with a jab at my face which I was forced to swat away. The problem was that she followed up with another at my gut, using the jab as a distraction. Instinct was the only thing that saved me from being doubled over in pain as my other arm swept her attack downward. She ended up slugging me rather hard in the knee as I was unable to deflect it completely.

She growled in fury and looked to be ready to unleash something more dangerous before Mako stepped in her way. “Naomi-chan,” she said sternly, “I didn’t teach you how to fight so you could turn against your teammates.”

“She is not my teammate!” she said indignantly, “She’s not even a real-” She cut herself off, her eyes suddenly wide.

Mako was unmoved. “Not a real what?” she said, icily.

“I… I didn’t mean…” said Nao, blushing, “I mean… she’s not like you…”

“I think that she is exactly like me,” said Mako, leaning forward, “She is a woman, a Senshi and a teammate. And I think you owe her an apology.”

Mako stepped out of the way and Nao, despite her still visible anger, did make the gesture of bowing in apology. “Sorry…”

The other girl slid up behind her and wrapped her arms around her. “Nao-chan… I think you should get to know her first,” she said, squeezing Nao tight. “We’re all on the same team.”

The other girl was about Nao’s age, even if her eyes seemed to be much older. Her hair was cut in a bob and dyed a very dark and deep purple. She wore a black dress with white, lacy frills and fishnet stockings which led into the black, shiny ballet flats on her feet. Her makeup was much more intricate than Nao’s with subtle shadings and blushes that gave her a very doll-like appearance. Her black-painted lips widened in a smile.

“A pleasure to meet you,” she said quietly, “I am Homura Minaguchi. And you must be the new Sailor Moon of America.”

“Serena Moore,” I said, the name feeling more familiar on my lips with every speaking. “Nice to meet you… And you are…” I had to think about it for a moment. If she was a senshi, then there was only one person she could be, though the chronology was slightly strange.

“Sailor Saturn?” I asked, with a little uncertainty.

“Mmmm,” she said, with a nod, “You are confused by my age?”

“Uh… kinda?” I said, looking her over. 

The other Senshi had grown up over the years, but Sailor Saturn clearly had not. But, to be fair, the other Senshi hadn’t died and been reborn multiple times, either. In the anime, Hotaru Tomoe was reincarnated as the other Sailor Scouts were, but she died in the field. However, she was then reborn as a baby and adopted by a trio of her fellow scouts. And as she was fostered by her new “parents” she grew at an accelerated rate, to eventually match the age of Chibi Moon and fight alongside her as a friend.

Or, perhaps, as I considered the two of them, something closer than friends?

Regardless, given that decades had passed, Homura should at the very least be in her twenties. Yes, she had died again, but in the comics, she had been revived back to being ten or so.

“My accelerated growth after my death was only done as a last resort in order to join my sisters in battle when they needed me. I died again during the course of the last battle and despite what is depicted in the manga I was forced to grow back up from being a baby at the normal rate. Truthfully, I wanted the chance to experience childhood the normal way, ” said Homura casually, as if describing reincarnation and accelerated aging was no more interesting than the weather. “I am still under the care of my Mama, Mama and Papa until I grow up properly.”

“Okay…” I said, only partially understanding her explanation, “So… she…” I pointed to Nao. “can’t be Chi-” I flinched as Nao rounded on me, “Er… her because she went back to the future… but you…grow up to become her… but um… you don’t look like her… and isn’t Usagi supposed to become Neo Queen Serenity at some point and…” I looked at Mako helplessly. “I think I’m missing some pieces of this puzzle here.”

“Then let me help you understand.”

The door behind us opened and in strode Usagi herself.

She didn’t have the same long, silver, goddess-like hair or radiate the same level of power, but even dressed in a white doctor’s coat and scrubs, she still felt like the same confident hero I saw last time. Her hair was shorter, but she still carried in the odango rounded buns style and pigtails. She cast a glance at Nao. “I hope you have been kind to our guest and fellow senshi?”

Nao sulked slightly, but nodded at her.

“Mako-chan! It’s so good to see you!” said Usagi, wrapping her arms around her (with some slight difficulty given her pregnancy, “It’s seven months now, isn’t it?”

Mako nodded. “I’m excited… and thank you for keeping an eye on me, Usagi-sensei. I never thought I would be able to experience this.”

Usagi turned to Homura, smiling, “Homu-chan? I hope you and Naomi-chan are on top of your schoolwork? You both have homework due this Monday, yes?”

Homura blushed visibly, and from context clues I had the distinct impression that she and Nao had been otherwise distracted. “Yes, Usagi-sensei.”

“And… Serena-Chan, was it?” she said, smiling wide at me. “I heard some of your conversation from below. Thin floors, I suppose.” She cast another pointed look to Nao, who blushed. “But… It’s wonderful to finally meet the real you,” she said, turning back to me. “Allow me to properly introduce myself to you.”

She bowed. “My name is Naoko Mitsuishi,” she said, smiling, “But call me Usagi. All my friends do.”

I bowed in response. “It’s…an honor to be here. I owe you so much, and I can’t even begin to thank you for the gift you’ve given to me.”

Still smiling, she shook her head. “Serena-Chan, you have that power because you earned the right to have it. You suffered through so much pain, like Mako-Chan did.” Mako gave me a smile that melted my heart. 

“You learned to fight, you pushed through fear and did all of it with a tender heart inside you. Because… I saw the love you carried inside you, in spite of everything you’ve faced. This power is rightfully yours.”

I cast a glance at Nao before returning my gaze to Usagi. “But… I’m not a reincarnation…Or an heir to the Lunar Civilization… how can it be rightfully mine?”

“Because there is no more Lunar Civilization. The new Silver Millenium will never come to pass. The future is, once again, uncertain,” Usagi gestured to the table as she sat down in front of it. Mako and Nao and Homura all crowded the kotatsu with me.

“The story ending you’ve been told, of Usagi Tsukino defeating Chaos and getting married and becoming pregnant with her daughter… all of this was true… but the rebuilding of Silver Millennium and Crystal Tokyo?” she sighed, shaking her head, “When I finished writing the story and sent it to the publisher, that was the next logical step. It was what was supposed to happen. We would rebuild Crystal Tokyo and a new Lunar age would be born… Everything we had seen of the future pointed towards it and I had all the magic I needed to make it happen… There was no choice, as far as I could see.”

She pursed her lips. “But was that the right choice? All of the world would be given so much in terms of medicine and technology… and I believed that I could become Neo Queen Serenity and rule the Earth and the Moon justly and fairly…” She shook her head. “But did I have that right? To take away from Japan or all the rest of the world’s nations? To declare myself Queen based on the whims of a lost civilization? Did I have the right to decide that my vision of the future was more important than anyone else’s?”

She shook her head. “I couldn’t go through with it. When we began to plan, Pluto told me the cost of life and the scale of war that would come with the establishment of Neo Crystal Tokyo, that people would rise up to try to stop me no matter what I did…The powers that be at work in this world would not simply cede power to a woman just because she claimed to be the reincarnation of the moon queen… They would fight and people would die in that war…”

She fell silent, her expression grim. I could only stare in horror. She was right, of course, but I’d never thought of the consequences of the future laid out by the manga and anime. Certainly, after a thousand years or so of strife, maybe that Crystal future would have been a fantastic utopia. But the world didn’t work that way. People don’t just sit idly by and let a girl say she’s the new leader of the free world just because a mystical moon prophecy said so. And the government of Japan probably wouldn’t be okay with her just annexing Tokyo into a crystal kingdom just because she asked nicely.

And what of the Justice League? Would they sit idly by and let someone declare themselves a sovereign just because she had a pretty uniform to go with it?

Change like that would only come with force. War. And death.

“Whatever peace and harmony that would come after, I couldn’t justify it. The future should be chosen by the people of the world, not a handful of high school girls. I became a doctor. I decided that I would work to help people in smaller ways…” She broke into a warm smile, “Though I sometimes still help out pure-hearted girls in need with a little magic…” She winked at me and I felt my face flush. “But that is why Crystal Tokyo remains only a fantasy… the future has changed… and it will be shaped by the choices we make here and now.”

“We’re grateful for that choice, to be honest,” said Mako, “We wouldn’t have been given the time to experience our lives like this if we’d chosen to follow the path of the future. I wouldn’t have gotten the chance to meet my husband and have my child.” She massaged her belly. “And let us not forget.” She looked up at me. “You and Nao-chan and Homura-chan and all the others will be our future now. We trust that you will shape our world for the better, without breaking it entirely.”

“So,” I said, eyes wide, “All that stuff from the future didn’t happen? It’s all gone?”

“I wish…” Nao grimaced. “I still have her memories… when she disappeared from the timeline, they got dumped in my head. I have hundreds of years of memories of shit that never happened and is never going to happen.” Her scowl deepened. “Good riddance to that little brat… I’m my own person… I ain't nobody's puppet… not even for time itself.”

“I wouldn’t have you be anyone else but you,” said Homura, leaning against Nao. Nao flushed visibly from the contact, but leaned into her.

“Isn’t that… going to cause paradoxes or something?” I asked, looking around the room as if I expected the universe to collapse around us just by discussing it. “I mean… all that stuff that came back to you from the future?”

“As I learned in my fight with Sailor Galaxia… the future is ours to shape. Pluto told me that the world of that future still exists in the echo of another world. Another timeline, of many. Silver Millenium may one day come to pass, but not in the fires of bloodshed and slaughter” said Usagi, nodding to me. “You will have the chance to ask Pluto about the finer points of time travel yourself when we are gathered for dinner.”

“Wait… what?” I said in alarm, “Am I going to meet the outer Senshi?” I glanced at Homura, “Uh… present company excluded of course.”

She nodded in acknowledgement but didn’t comment. Usagi smiled as she stood up. “All of the Senshi wanted to meet you, Serena. You and Naomi-chan and the others are the next generation, and we want to make sure that you have all the support that you need.”

“Wait… is she…?” I looked at Nao in surprise.

She grinned. “Duh… You think I’m going to just sit back and do nothing with all this power? I’m a freaking Senshi. I’m not going to sit on my ass and do nothing when criminals and monsters and shit are fucking around. We’re a team and we’re good at what we do. I’m Sailor Moon, too.”

“So you and Nao work together?” I asked Homura.

She nodded. “And the others, of course.”

“Others?” I asked, confused.

“The Quartet. Ceres, Juno, Vesta, Palas? Didn’t you read the stories?” said Nao impatiently, “They were supposed to awaken when I took up the mantle, and here I am. I mean… that’s the whole point of being a Senshi. You work as a team, right?”

I winced internally. Twice now, I had been abandoned by my teammates. I had no comrades waiting for me back in Gotham.

Usagi reached over and put a hand on my shoulder. “It’s okay… you will find others… and I think I know someone who can help…” She looked over her shoulder and called out, “Luna-Chan!”

From down a small hallway, a noticeably large, black cat padded out of a room.

“何でっしょう？” said the cat, a mature woman’s bleary voice issuing from its mouth, “寝ていました.“ “What is it? I was sound asleep…”

“Holy fuck,” I whispered. There was no getting around the fact that a talking cat was freaky as hell. There was no reason why an animal that small should be able to sound like a fully grown adult woman.

Luna eyed me. “あ、その新しい戦士だ.” “Oh, it’s the new Senshi.”

I bowed. “はじめまして.あたしはセレナです.夜しくお願いします.” “It’s nice to meet you. My name is Serena. I’m looking forward to working with you.”

The cat arched an eyebrow… or at least did the feline equivalent of it. “そうか...王族じゃない...でも強い力がいる.“ “Hm… she’s not of royal blood, but she still has power.” Luna nodded at me. “こっち.” “Come over here.”

I looked at the others a little nervously, but they all seemed to agree that Luna wasn’t going to hurt me or anything. I sighed and scooted away from the kotatsu and towards Luna.

“Usagi-chan has insisted on building two Senshi teams,” said Luna, shifting to flawless English, “One in Japan and another in America. While the team here in Tokyo is made up entirely of girls who were destined to become Senshi, you and the other members of your team aren’t going to be predestined or fated or reincarnated. While this will offer you broader choices for who you select… you will need to understand something.”

I nodded, “Okay, what?”

“Certain people are going to have a closer affinity to certain planetary power,” continued Luna, “Usagi-chan was able to determine that you have a strong affinity for Lunar energy. You, in turn, will need to find candidates who have strong affinities for their respective planetary powers.”

“Uh… how do I do that?” I asked, frowning.

“You are, for better or worse, Sailor Moon,” said Luna, her feline features stern. 

Nao coughed impatiently.

“Well… a Sailor Moon, at any rate.” Luna amended before continuing her speech. “You are the leader for your team and you are suffused with lunar energy. A bearer of a True Star Seed. You have met all of the Inner Senshi today, and know who they really are. You know their power and their hearts, don’t you?”

I looked back at the others. Mako smiled as she met my gaze and nodded to me encouragingly. I certainly knew her well enough.

I looked at Usagi, who was so overwhelmingly kind and honest. I could see the connections between us, deep down.

Even Nao was more than the brash, bratty and no-nonsense warrior she made herself into. I could see that we were on the same path of trying to define ourselves against our mentor.

And as I thought about all of the other Senshi I realized that I could draw the same connections to others that I shared with Naoko and Nao. I could see if they carried the same kind of energy within them that the other Senshi seemed to carry within them.

“I…I think so,” I said, a little less nervous as I said it.

“Then all you need to do,” the cat continued, “Is find others who match them. They, too, will carry True Star Seeds within themselves.”

I drew in a breath and let it out, feeling the weight of the responsibility settle on me. “Okay…”

“Good…” said Luna, nodding, “Then you’ll need this, if you’re stepping up as the leader.” Luna’s forehead began to glow, and as a golden crescent moon shape revealed itself on her head and a beam of light began to pour out of it, something took form in front of me.

It took me only a fraction of a moment to realize what I was seeing. A pink handle shaft with a crystal crescent moon on the end. As the light faded, I could only stare in amazement at what was being entrusted to me.

The Moon Stick. It wasn’t just another toyetic macguffin in Sailor Moon’s ever-expanding arsenal, it was a symbol of authority and leadership. It was given to Usagi when she stepped up as the leader of the Sailor Scouts. And now, with this being presented to me, the same responsibility was now mine.

Gingerly, I picked it up off the floor, and even in my hands, I could feel the warmth and power that resided in it.

“Holy shit,” I said, genuinely shaking as I held it in my hands.

“You can do this…” said Luna, “you just need to trust yourself.”

I looked up at the others nervously. It was more responsibility than I was expecting, but I had to admit that I was looking forward to no longer fighting alone. Batwoman had been helpful, of course, but I could finally team up with other Senshi back in Gotham.

“You’re right… I… I think I can do this,” I said, feeling a little more confident as I said it.

__________________________

You are reading story Secret Identity at novel35.com

Mako had to get back to meet her husband and so was unable to join us for dinner, but we shared a tender hug and she reassured me. She really was like a mother to me now… it felt like all of them were. I shuddered to think about how my real parents would react to the new me, but I could take some small measure of comfort that I had eight other moms (and technically two dads) to take their place.

Usagi brought all of us to an upscale okonomiyaki restaurant around Shibuya, and to my shock, she had been able to reserve a large table in the corner with the steaming hot griddle for serving the savory cabbage pancake pizza concoction in the center.

Four people were already there waiting for us.

A tall man, upon catching sight of Usagi, immediately got up out of his seat to walk over and embrace her. He had shorter hair and wore a dark suit and tie, with a visible government ID badge clipped at his side.

“ごめん,” he murmured into her ear as he rested his forehead on hers, “遅くまで働かなければならなかった.” “Sorry… I had to work late.” He pressed a kiss on her forehead. “あなたに会いたかった.” “I missed you so much.”

Usagi tousled his hair. “だいじょうぶ” “It’s fine.” She pulled away and gestured to me. “So, this is her…”

The man pulled his gaze away from his wife and towards me. He had a warm smile as he looked me over. “Ah, a pleasure to meet you,” he said, bowing, “My name is Yoshihiro Furuya.”

“Serena Moore,” I said, returning the bow. “So you’re also…”

His grin turned mischievous. “The mysterious Tuxedo Mask.”

Nao rolled her eyes as she pushed past. “Oh my god, you are such a fucking dork.”

Yoshihiro looked a little hurt by his daughter’s indifference, but she did give him a quick hug before she continued on towards the table.

Homura had gone ahead and had settled in with her trio of… parents?

I was reasonably able to pick them out, but I had to admit that they hadn’t quite been what I was expecting.

The tallest one, who I assumed to be Pluto, was wearing a business suit and skirt, with a pair of glasses perched on her nose. She openly had her arm around the smaller woman next to her.

Neptune, I assumed, had long, voluminous, bushy hair and wore a seafoam green sleeved dress with warm leggings and heels. She was leaning up against the person on the other side of her who could only be…

Uranus. I could absolutely see why Uranus’ gender had been a point of so much confusion on seeing them in person. They were undeniably cute, regardless of what their gender happened to be, and I felt myself blushing a little as I spotted them. They were, at the moment, wearing a tailored pilot’s uniform which did nothing to resolve the difficulty in discerning their gender. They were thin, lithe and had short hair, with a charming smile they were now directing at me.

“Hey,” they said, the low tone of their voice making discerning their gender no easier as they waved to us.

We made our way back to the table and I settled in. 

“So,” said Pluto, leaning forward slightly, “you’re finally here.”

“Uh… sorry if we made you wait?” I said nervously.

Pluto shook her head, chuckling. “If there is one thing I am good at, it is waiting. And I would say that you are a person worth waiting for, Miss Moore.”

“Serena,” I said with a bow.

“Setsuko Kawashima,” she said, returning the bow. She gestured to the others, “And these are my partners.”

“Michiko Katsuki,” said Neptune, smiling so brightly I thought I would be struck blind. “It’s good to meet you.”

I frowned. I actually knew that name. As she told me, I realized where I’d heard it before. “Wait… I’ve heard your music before… you did the ending credits for one of my favorite anime. I actually got your album!” I didn’t mention the fact that I pirated it, for obvious reasons. “So… you don’t actually play the violin like in the anime, but the piano?”

“I actually can play the violin, piano, guitar and am learning the accordion,” she said, leaning forward, “but I’m happy that you appreciate my work.”

“She’s got the voice of an angel,” said Uranus, squeezing their arm around her and drawing her close. “Hey, the name’s Harumi. Harumi Ogata.” They offered out a hand which I gratefully shook.

As we all settled in and began to place our orders, I was struck with the realization that I was the only single person in the current group. It was difficult to ignore as Nao and Homura huddled together and whispered to one another, or how Yoshihiro and Usagi would share those loving looks or how the trio of Harumi, Michiko and Setsuko all seemed like one big happy family.

I was nervous to speak up as they spoke among themselves. For a start, I was in awe of all of them together like this. They were, essentially, legends. And here we were, sitting around a table griddle watching cabbage-filled pancakes cook before us like it was no big deal.

“Can I ask a question?” I posed, as our okonomiyaki sizzled with an intoxicating smell. “So… the three of you… you’re all… together? Like a couple? Or… thruple?” I had to say the last word in English because I didn’t know the Japanese equivalent. Hell, I didn’t know if Japanese had a word for a woman-woman-man/woman pairing. English certainly didn’t.

They shared a look. “Yes, essentially,” said Setsuko, nodding, “I mean, we generally don’t worry about the labels, but we came together for each other and for Homura.” Michiko placed a comforting hand on Homura who leaned into it.

“Is that… hard? I mean, nobody feels jealous or ignored?” I said, furrowing my brow thoughtfully. I wasn’t certain how I would have felt if Carla had suddenly asked to bring another partner into our relationship.

“Why would we?” said Harumi, chuckling, “We all care for one another, and if any of us feels left out, we just say so, and fix that problem. It’s really not as hard as people seem to think.”

“To be fair,” said Michiko, raising a finger to interject, “it’s not exactly for everyone. Some people simply don’t have the… range to be able to manage relationships between multiple people.”

I laughed bitterly. “Hell, I wasn’t able to manage a relationship with one.”

There was a pained look shared among the others. Usagi spoke up first, “So… what happened with Mako-chan, happened to you too? They couldn’t accept the real you?”

I nodded. As the okonomiyaki finished cooking, with all of the delicious sauces and toppings added, I scooped my portion off the griddle and onto my plate. I didn’t bother to speak further because the pain was still all too real, even as I began to dig in.

“There is someone out there who will be there for the real you…” said Yoshihiro earnestly, “Everyone has their match…” he glanced at the trio across the table, “Sometimes more than one, I suppose.”

“Are they going to accept me knowing what I used to be?” I asked, a little bitterly. “I mean…no matter how much I change on the outside, there’s one thing that the brooch can’t change... my past. I still have a life that I lived as a male. My old friends only know me as a male. Oh god…” I grimaced as the thought rose to the surface. “I still have no idea what I’m going to tell my parents. They want me back for Christmas, but when I walk in that door…”

Usagi put an arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to her. She was warm, and even though I was easily a head taller than her, I leaned up against her desperately. She ran her hand through my hair, soothing me. “I can’t tell you how your parents are going to react. I know Mako-chan was rejected. But we were there for her and we will be there for you, Serena-chan. We are family, and we will support you no matter what.”

Nao brandished her okonomiyaki spatula dangerously. “If anyone gives you any shit, I’ll kick their fucking asses,” she grunted, giving me a look of solidarity. It was scary, but nice to see that she had begun to accept me as an ally.

“You have no obligation to be anyone but yourself, Serena,” said Harumi, their voice stern, but comforting.

“I don’t know the specifics, but Mako-chan’s husband knows of her past and still accepts her as the woman she is,” said Setsuko, smiling warmly. “There are people out there who will accept you as you are.”

“T-thanks,” I swallowed hard. “Everyone… That… that means a lot.”

I finally let myself open up a little more in that meal. For better or worse, I was part of their family now, and they accepted me as a family should. There was happiness here that I had never truly known before.

The rest of the time there was more than I ever could have hoped for. I trained with them, ate with them and essentially lived life with them. The life I never had gotten to live beforehand. There was no denying I was officially a Sailor Scout now. I was one of them.

But there was also no denying the fact that I would need to go back home for Christmas.

Whatever happened with the family I had been given, I would always have the family I had found and chosen.

_______________________________________________

I wanted to stay, and I couldn’t stop crying as I boarded the plane. Izumi had been as good as her world and had given me a new passport and papers. Legally, I was Serena Moore, but I knew that my relatives wouldn’t accept that no matter how much documentation I provided.

The days in Japan had been the best I’d ever experienced. I’d gotten to fight alongside Nao and her team and had finally completed my physical transformation. I’d leapt into danger and into romance. Tokyo felt more like my home at this moment than my hometown suburb ever had. Could I really go back to Gotham?

Mako had been there to see me off at the airport, and I had nearly missed the flight because I couldn’t stop hugging her and crying. The whole plane ride, a countless number of horrible scenarios played themselves out in my brain. All of the travel was a nightmarish haze of jet lag and anxiety. Only amplified by the hectic chaos of traveling the day before Christmas Eve. Until, finally, the taxi pulled away and dropped me off in the suburbs in front of my parent’s house.

I stood in front of my parents front door, paralyzed as my finger was inches away from the doorbell. The weight of my luggage was nothing compared to the weight in my chest. There was a bitter cold on the wind, as the snowfall descended around me. I sighed and checked the compact mirror from my purse one more time.

I was happy with who I saw in the mirror. But I knew my parents wouldn’t be. I, quite simply, wasn’t their son anymore. I never had been at all, really. And their early Christmas present was going to be a reality check.

I pressed the doorbell. They opened it. And the process began.

The first step was denial.

They didn’t recognize me and they didn’t want to. Even as I told them things that nobody else could know, even as I showed them photographic proof of the gradual changes, even as I showed them literal magic. They didn’t want to accept it. I was not their son and I was a stranger to them.

The next was anger.

They were furious when my insistence began to wear through. Furious that I had become a superhero again. That I had accepted the power of “demonic forces” into myself. That I had “destroyed my body”. That I had “ruined my life.” Dad looked ready to physically hurt me. Mom cried hysterically.

And of course, there came the bargaining.

They asked me to see a doctor. See a priest. See a therapist. Call the Justice League. Or at least change out of those “girly” clothes. Cut my hair properly. Ditch the brooch. Anything to distance myself from who I now was. They could “fix” me, if I just agreed to play along.

Depression quickly followed when I refused. 

I did my best to convey the truth. I couldn’t change this or fix this. There was nothing to fix. This was me. Finally and inescapably, me. My parents responded by dissolving into wild sobbing. Dad made a brief sojourn back to anger in putting holes in the walls, before he went back to burying his head in his hands and bemoaning how he had been a terrible father. Mom literally fell to her knees, screaming at God.

And lastly, there was acceptance.

Not acceptance of who I was, of course. But accepting that their son was gone, and I was a stranger to them. I didn’t belong and as far as they were concerned, I had no place in their life.

They kicked me out of the house and told me to never come back. They told me they weren’t giving me anything anymore and not to contact them until I’ve fixed myself.

And there I was again, back on the front porch with the echo of the slamming door still ringing in my ears. Inside, I could hear Dad talking about calling the police. And so I left. 

While waiting for another taxi, I called the other Senshi. It was morning there, thankfully. I wasn’t able to talk much, in either Japanese or English, as I was crying so hard, but they supported me through it.

Izumi said she would help me through college and with other finances.

Mina said that she would take me shopping the next time she was stateside.

Rei said that she would pray for me and she comforted me through the worst of it.

Mako had ordered me a bouquet of flowers to be delivered to me in Gotham and insisted I get a nice meal for myself.

Nao offered to egg my parent’s house.

Homura promised that the pain would pass, and I would find hope on the other side of it.

Michiko and Harumi and Setsuko all said that I was welcome in their home and with their family at any time.

Yoshihiro and Usagi said the same.

But Usagi said one more thing as I stepped onto the train back to Gotham.

“I love you, Serena. Your bravery in the face of this pain is incredible, even as your heart is breaking. It’s okay to cry and it’s okay to mourn the life you’ve lost. But never forget that you have people who care about you. And even as they have rejected you, there will be others who will accept you and celebrate you for who you are. I promise, you will find friends and hope, if you keep searching for it.”

As I sobbed with abandon on that train, I was willing to admit that, for a moment, I could feel the warmth of her embrace. And the winter became a little less cruel.

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