However, the actual Edgar who Rubica met was different. He constantly scolded her and was arrogant like any other man with a high rank, but he wasn’t bad. He knew where all his privileges came from, and he didn’t try to abandon his duties.
The weapons he made were made for killing. Some kingdoms bought those weapons to cause civil wars and fought in the name of ridiculous causes to get each other’s land.
But at the same time, those weapons enabled humans to drive monsters away and farm the land. Moreover, the people in Seritos could survive instead of starving to death.
That had to be why Edgar was spending every day in his office to work. The entire kingdom depended on his work every year. After Rubica met him, she found out that he must have invented Stella out of goodwill.
Although Seritos had the fertile golden land right next to it, its people couldn’t touch it because of Ios, the dragon. Edgar and the king probably created that hideous weapon to get that field and stop the people from starving to death ever again.
Rubica was sad. Everything made her sad. She was sad to find out Edgar was a good man. Why did they have to live like that? And, why was the world taking the course it was taking?
No one could survive in the world only through goodwill, and Rubica hated it.
“Rubica, Rubica.”
Edgar kept gently wiping her tears, but she couldn’t calm down. She just kept shedding tears, and Edgar pitied her.
Although he had convinced her by saying it was inevitable to test the weapons, there was nothing wrong with what she had said.
“Rubica.”
Edgar knelt down on one knee to meet Rubica’s eyes. Then, he silently put his forehead on hers. However, Rubica didn’t open her eyes. Edgar felt like she was denying him right to his soul, and it saddened him. But, what could he say to her?
Edgar hesitated for a moment and then carefully kissed her eye. He could feel the salty taste of her tears. He pitied her and felt sorry for her, but there was nothing more he could do.
“Rubica.”
His lips followed a drop of tear to her cheek and then to her chin, but she still kept her eyes closed tightly and didn’t move.
“Rubica.”
He called her name again like a sigh. The sad liquid that made his heart ache didn’t fall under those brown eyelashes anymore, but her lips were still wet with tears.
“Rubica.”
Edgar hated that she was crying. He hated to see her face wet with tears. He didn’t want to see her tears ever again. Impulse bubbled like lava underneath his heart. He had to back off, but he just couldn’t leave her crying like that.
“Rubica.”
In the end, his lips reached hers. They beggingly touched and didn’t do more. They just removed the tears on her lips and went away.
“Edgar.”
She called his name. Her voice had no scolding or anger about the kiss. It was rather kind. Then, she slowly opened her eyes.
The short moment of her eyelids moving felt like thousands of years to Edgar. Her irises had become clear because of the tears and they glowed like red rubies in the mud.
“Edgar.”
She called him again. Without noticing it, Edgar took her hands. He feared that she might vanish right in front of him, but she just smiled.
“Edgar.”
She smiled weakly. Her smiles had always been like sunshine. But this time, her smile was as sad as the last flutter of a falling sparrow’s wings.
“I was stubborn. I’m sorry.”
She took a step back. She backed off because she cared about his position and his family’s honor. She was putting down the belief that had supported her in all those troubles and sufferings.
“Rubica.”
Edgar couldn’t hold it any longer and hugged her tightly again. He hugged her so tight that she couldn’t breathe, but she didn’t push him away. She didn’t hug him back, either. She just stayed still like a piece of paper flying in the wind.
Edgar thought he knew why Rubica was insisting on her decision just a moment ago, but he could see the truth only now. He hadn’t known because he had listened to her only with logic and efficiency. Only now could he see what he was forcing her to give up.
“It’s okay.”
Rubica whispered to him. Then, she had to try not to laugh. She was giving up what she hadn’t been able to give up in war, suffering, and pain for the man she had hated so much. However, even that had to be nothing compared to the burden he was carrying.
“I’m sorry that I demanded the impossible.”
Edgar was more mature than she was.
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Most people believe you mature as you get older, but Rubica had seen the opposite more often. An old man once mercilessly beat a child with his cane to get another potato.
There’s no guarantee you will get wisdom as you get older. Many just get better at justifying one’s selfish actions and thoughts.
Rubica was grateful that Edgar never tried to criticize her for being insistent.
He was rather comforting her. She could read that from his gentle hands and lips.
Someone once said gentleness was the only thing that could make a firm heart surrender. Rubica knew Edgar was understanding her.
If he hadn’t known what she was giving up, she would have rather not given up.
But he understood, he understood and was begging her to give up for everyone. That made up her mind.
“Edgar, I’m okay.”
Rubica rather soothed Edgar who was clinging onto her like a child. She was the one who was giving up, but now Edgar looked like a child not wanting to give up.
“And it’s a little hard to breathe now, so…”
It made him manage to detach himself from her. His blue eyes burned like flames. The moment Rubica met those eyes, she had to hold her breath lest the flames burned her soul.
Edgar opened his mouth to say something.
“Your Graces, it’s time for dinner.”
Then, a maid who had been waiting from the outside spoke over the door. They had spent a long time in the seamstresses’ chamber. They could even see the stars through the windows.
The maid worried lingering more would make the dishes go cold and carefully spoke although she knew she was interrupting them.
Servants had to eat after the master and the mistress finished eating. If they took more time, the servants were not going to get a proper supper this evening.
It was already too late to say they didn’t feel like it.
Rubica took out a handkerchief and wiped the tears off her face clean.
“We should go now.”
Then, she spoke to the man who was still looking at her. Her eyes were still red, but she now had her emotions under control.
Edgar hesitated, but he soon offered her a hand to escort her. Even though they had always been on bad terms and always quarreled, they were still married, so she had always taken his hand.
But this time, she didn’t take his hand. Instead, she took a step back while smiling weakly and awkwardly.
Edgar felt like he was falling from a cliff, but it wasn’t like he could demand to hold her hand after just forcing her to give up like that.
His hand fell in embarrassment, and Rubica left the chamber first without saying anything.
Edgar forced his legs to move to follow her to the dining hall.
They went into the hall, both looking serious. However, the servants didn’t worry about it much. The couple used to fight over small things during meals and then soon smile.
They couldn’t handle the heavy mood and waited for Edgar to blow up.
However, that didn’t happen till dinner was over. The mood couldn’t be any heavier.
The duke wasn’t a man without patience, but he tended to snap easily about anything that had to do with his wife.
The servants started to get serious at seeing Edgar being patient as it hadn’t happened lately.
‘What is going on?’
They were nervous at seeing the two moving their knives and forks silently. It was an emergency.
Their master and mistress often yelled and criticized others, but the mood wasn’t bad when that happened. It was more of a joke than a fight, and it was quite hard to look at them being all lovey-dovey.
But this time, they were neither glaring nor criticizing each other.
They just ate as if they were dining alone. This was serious. It was the most serious type of fight between a married couple.
The servants couldn’t utter a word in fear. Then, Rubica sighed, so the servants wanted her to start scolding Edgar. However, she didn’t.
She just told a maid serving her that she didn’t want to eat more and stood up.
And, Edgar didn’t stop her. He just kept staring at his dish, but it wasn’t like he was eating. His hands hadn’t moved for quite some time. The mood was suffocating. It was all quiet and all they could hear was Rubica’s footsteps as she walked away.
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