Seeing Myself In You

Chapter 6: Chapter 6


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It's Friday night and for once I'm not going out with Don. The week has felt like it's dragging on forever, but maybe that's because I've been looking forward to tonight. Last Sunday, Ernest agreed to go to a concert with me and I've been so excited ever since. I haven't been to a concert in a while, and besides playing my own music, I've kind of lost my motivation for playing. So, maybe after tonight's show, I might find some inspiration, and hopefully, Ernest will too for the stage design.

I was a bit worried when Ernest wanted to pick the concert, thinking he might choose some weird psychedelic music, but surprisingly, he chose a folk-indie group called Airship Street. I've never heard of them, but I listened to some of their music earlier this week and they seem okay. I'm sure the show will be a good time.

Once I'm done getting ready, I grab my phone and call Ernest, probably easier than texting him.

"Hey Ernest! I just finished getting ready."

"Oh, cool, uh, yeah I think I'm ready." I can tell even over the phone that he's nervous.

"You okay?"

"Uh, yeah, I'm fine. I'll meet you there at the venue?"

"Yeah, it'll take me about 20 minutes to get there so I'll see you then."

"Okay, uh, see you then." I think to myself that he really needs to get out more.

While on the subway, I suddenly feel my phone vibrating. It's Don calling. Damn it. He's probably just going to want to go out and drink a bunch. I hesitate answering the phone, but wait long enough to let it go to voicemail. I don't know why I feel bad, I shouldn't. I usually answer his calls, but tonight I just want to relax and have a good time with Ernest.

I get off at the stop I need to and walk for another 4 minutes to arrive at the venue. There are a few people hanging outside, but I don't see Ernest. I wait with my hands in my jacket pockets, trying to stay warm.

It's been 5 minutes. Where is he? I start to feel anxious. What if he chickens out? I try to reassure myself, but it doesn't help. I pace back and forth, getting more nervous, when suddenly I feel a tap on my shoulder. Startled, I quickly turn around and see Ernest standing there. “Jesus Ernest, you scared me!”

He looks different, maybe it's his hair? Or his outfit? He's wearing a black puffer jacket with a gray hoodie, black cuffed jeans, and black slip-on vans. He looks really good.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to. You looked busy, so I didn't want to interrupt,” he says.

I chuckle. “I was just waiting for you, man. Come on, let's go in. I'm freezing out here!”

We make our way into the venue smoothly. I'm tempted to head to the bar, but I resist the urge. I want to actually remember tonight, so I resist getting drunk. Since we have general admission tickets, I ask Ernest if he wants to stand at the balcony or near the stage. When he doesn't answer, I turn to look at him and find him absorbed in the beauty of the place. I can't help but smile at how he looks like a little kid again.

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I nudge him gently to get his attention.

"Oh, yeah?" Ernest responds.

"I don't want to disturb you," I tease him playfully, "But do you want to be in the balcony or closer to the stage?"

"Oh, sorry!" Ernest laughs, realizing why I'm teasing him. "This place is so pretty! But, uh, maybe the balcony for now, if that's okay?"

"Of course, it's totally fine," I say. "We can still have a good view of the stage from there."

We take our seats on the balcony, and I let Ernest sit closer to the stage since he's the one who really wants to take it all in. I'm just here for the music. We get comfortable and wait for the show to start. The atmosphere between us is calm and content. I observe Ernest as he takes in all the sights and sounds, and I simply enjoy watching him.

Finally, Ernest turns to me, "Have you been to this venue before?"

"No, I don't think so," I reply. "I've been to a few places in this area, but not this one."

"Do you like it?" he asks.

"Yeah, it's pretty cool," I say, "And the crowd seems relaxed, which is nice."

"Mmm, yeah," Ernest agrees.

We fall into a comfortable silence again, waiting for the show to start. Even though there's silence between Ernest and I, I can't help but wonder about what he might be thinking. He's very reserved and doesn't open up much about himself. I guess I could say the same about myself, but maybe it's just because I'm used to being around self-centered people. He's intriguing and captures my attention.

Suddenly, the lights dim and the crowd erupts in cheers as they all stand up from their seats. I follow suit and stand up, with Ernest doing the same. The music starts with a light beat of drums, accompanied by a folksy guitar and a female voice singing along to the rhythm.

I listen to the music, noticing that Ernest is swaying to the rhythm. I can tell he's really into it, and the sight brings a smile to my face. But then, strange thoughts start creeping into my mind. I have an urge to hold him and protect him. I try to shake these thoughts away, but every time I look at Ernest, my heart starts racing. I haven't had anything to drink, so why am I feeling like this? Maybe it's just the excitement of the concert. Suddenly, Ernest turns to me and leans in, shouting over the music, "I HAVEN’T HAD THIS MUCH FUN IN A LONG TIME!" I tilt my head to look at his face and see him mouthing "Thank you."

I nod, trying to play it cool, but I feel my ears getting warm and my heart rate increasing. What's going on with me?

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