Daniel watched Samantha walk towards him. Her hair was tied up in a messy pony-tail and there were beads of sweat forming on her forehead. She pursed her lips and her eyes kept flickering here and there, obviously looking distressed at that moment.
Seeing that he did not say anything, she knew that he had already become nervous even before she started talking. Why did she have to say it like that?
Samantha hesitantly held his hand and dragged him towards the bed, making him sit at the edge of it, considering how she should start what she needed to tell him.
The entire time, Daniel did not take his eyes away from her. He observed her every action, the many times that she swallowed and the many times that she had to sigh before finally starting to talk.
"There's something that we need to talk about… I don't know how to say it… and I'm very nervous." She admitted, there was no point in lying to her husband. Samantha needed him so bad.
Daniel looked at her as she sat next to him and saw how difficult it was for her to explain. He composed himself by breathing out once and stroked her back to comfort her a little. "Go on, I'm listening," he said with a clear and calm voice.
Samantha nodded and turned to him but she lowered her eyes as she could not bear to look at him, "I… I… I'm not sure but I think I might be pregnant." She finally said.
Hearing her words, Daniel's expression turned perplexed, "What did you say?" He tilted his head to catch her gaze until she eventually looked up at him, his heart drummed in his chest when their eyes met.
"My period is delayed for two weeks now and my previous period was a little irregular too. I have been having morning sickness lately and I… don't know…I just… I got sick again last night and Hannah… she… Hannah asked if it was possible for me to be pregnant and that's when I realized that I missed my period. I-" Samantha rambled non-stop, recalling how she was the day before and how she came to do the pregnancy test in the bathroom.
"Wait, honey… slow down. What are you trying to say?" Daniel asked, interrupting her panicked state.
Thinking that it was best to show it, Samantha opened her hands and revealed the three used pregnancy kits. Daniel lowered his gaze to her hands when he noticed her actions and that's when he saw them. His brows knitted upon seeing the devices on her hands because he knew what they were and he was not ignorant to know what they mean.
Samantha described how she took all three tests in the bathroom and her eyes became misty as she continued to talk.
When she finished talking, neither of them spoke. Daniel shifted on his place and looked in front of him, staring at the view of the opened curtains that showed the dark sea from outside. He did not know what to think, he was all shocked, happy, worried, nervous, and confused. 'If she's pregnant, what will happen now?'
Minutes have passed and there was still silence. Samantha began to think that it was a bad idea telling him when she herself wasn't sure yet — but who else was she going to talk to when her first choice was her husband? "Honey… please say something."
Realizing that he was in a trance, Daniel snapped out of it and calmed down before he faced her. "I'm sorry, I got lost in my thoughts for a while." He drew her in and placed her head on his chest as he repeatedly stroke her back. "You're going to be okay. We'll go to the hospital first thing tomorrow morning to have you checked, okay?" He said, kissing her hair gently.
Samantha's ear was directly atop his chest and she expected to hear the erratic beating of his heart. And although it was fast, the constant drumming calmed her down instead. She clutched his clean white shirt and nodded, leaning more onto him to be comforted before they decided to go to sleep a few minutes later.
…
Spring Grove General Hospital
As the top hospital in the capital, it is known as the best in health care and citizens in the country would always have this as their first choice if they want the best service.
The hospital was busy as usual and there were doctors, nurses, and patients everywhere.
Samantha and Daniel had been in and out of the hospital for a while now but that day was probably the first time that they felt quite perturbed.
The married couple both wore a cap and casual outfits in order not to draw attention to them as they were going to visit the OB-gyne department; they looked ordinary with only jeans and a shirt. Even so, Daniel made sure that their visit will be contained so as not to give the media a chance to feast on their private life.
Reaching the doctor's clinic, they were greeted by a middle-aged female doctor who asked what they were seeing her for as soon as they sat on their seats.
Samantha started to explain her side and the doctor asked her further questions in which she replied truthfully.
"How did your most recent period look like?" The doctor questioned.
She tried to recall and started describing it in detail, "...so it was a little spotty than my usual. That's why I'm not sure what's going on."
The doctor scribbled her notes on a sheet and then she asked Samantha to go to a room in the clinic so that she could perform some tests on her while Daniel waited outside.
After several minutes, Samantha came out of the room, her fingers pressing her arm with cotton. The doctor drew out blood from her to do an HCG test – it was to check whether this hormone that is produced during pregnancy was present or not.
They were asked to stay in the waiting room for the result could take a while. Both Samantha and Daniel waited patiently for what seemed like a couple of hours until she began to feel restless.
"What's taking it so long?" She said anxiously, biting her lip and clenching her hands. She did not know what she was supposed to expect, did she want to be pregnant?
Daniel reached out to hold her cold hands, rubbing them with his in an attempt to warm them up. "It will be out soon. The doctor did say it will take a while… let's just wait a little more. Do you want to eat something?" He probed.
Samantha shook her head right away, "I can't possibly eat at a time like this, Daniel. I'm too anxious to even think!"
"Hey, I'm right here with you," he said as he tried to calm her down, half hugging her sideways.
Soon after, the door of the waiting room opened and in came the doctor's assistant, "Mr. and Mrs. Cho? The doctor is ready to see you now." She stated.
Samantha and Daniel exchanged looks before they both nodded. He helped her up and held her hand as they walked back to the doctor's office.
The female doctor's expression was undecipherable, leaving no chance for the two of them to read her. Sitting down on the chair opposite the doctor, Daniel was the one who spoke first, "Doctor, can you tell us the result?"
Nodding, the doctor slid a paper in front of them and they saw numbers and medical terms but were not able to understand what it all meant until the doctor started, "There is no easy way to say this. But I'm just going to say it... You are not pregnant."
Samantha's heart raced and she suddenly asked with a trembling voice, "But what about the results? You said that there is HCG in my blood test results… so, I'm confused."
"I don't want to call it this… but Mrs. Cho, you are going through a very early miscarriage." The doctor announced and the moment that the words left her mouth, Samantha's heart throbbed. Her eyes became watery, her lips trembled and she began to feel scared as she looked at the floor, unsure of what she wanted to say after what she heard.
Daniel's heart ached upon hearing the doctor. He saw his wife unable to respond and so he held her hand tightly.
"What are you talking about? How could I have a miscarriage? I was not even pregnant." Samantha found her voice and questioned the doctor what she had in mind.
"You had what we medically call as a chemical pregnancy. It is a very early loss which occurs before the fifth week of gestation and also well before a fetus can be visibly detected using the ultrasound."
"So is this a miscarriage?" Samantha probed.
The doctor carefully nodded and then replied, "Yes, it is but it was so early."
"How am I feeling pregnant? Why do I feel like that? I even have nausea in the morning and in the evenings." She voiced. She wasn't sure why she had difficulty believing and was even trying to reason out. Was she expecting?
"You would not normally experience early signs of pregnancy like fatigue or nausea however I have had some patients who did. And in your case, you're going to have those symptoms for a while but it should gradually go away." The doctor explained.
They stayed in the clinic for a few minutes more, listening to the doctor's advice before their visit came to an end. The two of them quietly walked back to the underground parking lot and sat inside the car. It was very silent that the couple did not know how to go about the subject.
The silence ended when Daniel heard Samantha from the passenger's seat sniff a couple of times before she broke down in tears.
His head snapped towards her and saw her clutching her stomach, her shoulders shaking and her face stained with tears.. Seeing her like this, his heart shattered into pieces.