Chapter 280: Gray

In the room with Vladimir, all Daniel saw was red.

He forgot about who he was, his family, his friends… and himself. All that mattered to him was revenge and nothing else. The entire time that he tortured Vladimir, images of Kevin being beaten up by a maniac was pinned to his sight, haunting him like a ghost that would never go away.

Back when they were still fighting off Vladimir's men, Daniel Cho became a killing machine. And since then, he was never the same. He became ruthless, cold, and his dark aura had never left him.

He spoke about how he remained connected with the Olsens and how he started to participate in other activities for a year. He did not want to say everything but he ended up confessing all the things that he hated about himself. He never thought it would come to a point where he had to share that part of him that he wanted to bury.

…

Present

Listening to all the things that her husband did before, Samantha's stomach churned. She hurriedly covered her mouth and gagged. Running off to the toilet as fast as she could, she left Daniel confused and startled.

"Samantha!" He panicked and followed her. When he got to her, she was already vomiting on the bowl.

Samantha belched all the food that she ate that morning, hurting her stomach every time she hurls. She did not know why she was actually reacting like that, it was either because of what she just heard, the symptoms of her chemical pregnancy or because she was sick. No matter what the cause was, she was definitely not feeling good.

Daniel bent down and gathered her hair so it won't get dirtied at the same time that she stroked her back. He was so worried that he did not know what to say after what happened to her.

After some time, Samantha got up and washed in the sink. Her eyes were misty and her stomach hurt while her heart was pounded in her chest. What was she supposed to say? How was she supposed to react to what she just heard from her husband?

Taking a clean face towel from the cabinet, Daniel handed it to her without saying anything.

After wiping herself, Samantha wanted to ask questions but she could not bear to look at him in the eye. She did not know if she could look at him the same after knowing that part of him so all she did was stare at the counter. "Wh-why?" She asked.

He heard her question but was unsure what she wanted to ask, "Why what?"

"How you escaped, I understand why you became violent. But… Why did it have to be you who killed him? Why… you?"

His heart ached upon hearing her question. There seemed to be a lump on his throat, making it difficult for him to formulate an answer but he chose to be honest.

"I thought I had to. Ever since we got out of that place, all I could think about was Kevin's face. Whether I was asleep or awake, it made no difference as I was constantly reliving the memory of him being…" He trailed off and sighed deeply before he continued, "It was all that I could see. I was deeply traumatized and when I heard that they had caught him, I took the chance and told them that I want to personally punish him the way that he hurt Kevin."

"And they just let you?"

Daniel nodded, "At first, they were against it as they all think that I shouldn't taint my hands anymore but I was young and I was in a vulnerable state of mind. I did not care about everything else because all I wanted was to end him and thought that if I did, I would probably feel satisfied if I did it with my own hands."

"And were you... satisfied?" She finally looked up to him and when their eyes met, Daniel saw something in her eyes that he had never seen from her before when she looked at him. Was she scared of him? Was she disgusted of what he did? Did she hate him? Her eyes welled up and they seemed weak.

His heart almost broke when he heard and saw her. He was so afraid that she would reject him. So afraid that she will leave him after this but there was nothing else that he could do. Shaking his head, Daniel closed his eyes in fear of seeing any more hints of rejection. "I wasn't. Even after what I did to him, I was still not satisfied. Even after getting my revenge, it was still not enough. I failed to see that I became what I hated the most."

"Was it why you stayed with them for a while even after that?" Although she already had figured it out, she still wanted to hear it from him.

"Yes."

"How did you get out? Or… are you still doing it?" She asked tentatively, her voice was low and she herself was not sure what she wanted to hear from him.

"I... only stayed for a year after that. And then I…" Daniel lifted his head up and sighed. He looked at the ceiling as he recalled how he suddenly stopped.

…

It was a dark afternoon in Country A at one of the Olsen's warehouses in the city. The sky was gloomy and the rain was pouring heavily since the morning. Daniel had just gotten out of a dingy room when Sean met him in the hallway. He was wiping his hands with a white towel that was now stained with blood — not his but from the traitor they had captured that day.

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He had gotten used to the metallic smell and the feeling of being able to release all his anger onto someone. Though Daniel killed Vladimir, he had not killed anyone again after that but he and Sharp Sean were two of the skilled ones in Lucas' team.

"You done?" Sean asked just before he opened the room but all he got from Daniel was a nod before the latter went out of the warehouse.

"Oh come on! You should at least have left me something, you've knocked him out… Is this even still alive?" Sean complained, holding his knife set with his left hand and the right resting on his waist. Not receiving a response from Daniel, he shook his head and went inside the room.

When Daniel got out of the warehouse, he walked to a nearby wall in the alley and hurled. He was sick of it all and yet he could not seem to stop doing it. The rain fell on him and he got soaked but he was the least bit bothered by it as he dragged himself to sit on a bench under a shade.

He had been on a routine for almost a year and it was as though he was living on auto-pilot. Daniel was in a daze until a boy about five years old sat next to him. The little boy was munching his biscuits as he stared up at Daniel. He was slightly chubby and his face was so cute.

"Why do you smell like blood?" He asked with an innocent face.

Hearing the small voice, Daniel turned his head and met the boy's curious gaze. "I beat up a bad guy," he responded without thinking.

The boy was unfazed as he continued to ask, "Then doesn't that make you a bad guy too? My mom said it's bad to hit people."

"Hmmm… I am, huh?" Daniel looked away when he thought the kid's questioning was spot on.

"Do you want to hit people?"

Daniel shook his head.

"What do you want then, older brother?"

Just then, a family of three passed by in front of them and Daniel scoffed at himself. He had not thought of it before but the idea suddenly came to his mind that one day, he wanted to have a family like that.

Seeing that Daniel watched the family's direction, the boy added, "If you want to have a family like that, you should stop hitting people."

Daniel looked at the kid again and his brows furrowed. The boy was too smart for his age and Daniel hated it but he replied, "You think so?"

The little boy nodded his head profusely and smiled at him but the smile disappeared right away when Daniel took one of his biscuits and ate it.

"Tch. Go home, kid." Daniel stood up and left.

"Hey! That's stealing!"

...

Back to Present.

After knowing everything, she felt that the two of them lived in a very different world.

Samantha did not say anything when she walked past him and headed towards their bedroom. She was so tired and she wished that she could sleep for a very long time.

Daniel tried to help her as they took the stairs but Samantha retracted her arm away from him. She was so confused and everything was just so painful.

When she reached the bed, she slumped on the floor and broke down in tears. Her heart throbbed when the realization hit her that she loved a man whose hands were stained. It hurt her so much that her thoughts ran wild and images of him killing or torturing people haunted her.

The man she loved did evil things... and yet she still loves him.

"I'm sorry, Samantha.. I'm so sorry."

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