Chapter 10: 3.3

Chapter 3 – Distance to Approach The One Who Doesn’t Speak (Final Part)

 

    "Rikkun, help me~"

    "Ritsu~. I really don't understand either..."

    "I think Ritsu will be disturbed if you two talk at the same time. By the way, Ritsu, there was something I didn't understand in the last practice test."

    "Ah~Kan-chan, don't run away from the test!"

    "That's right!!! I'm trying to pass, you know!"

    "...I'm going to go through you all one by one, so mark the ones you don't understand. Until we get to that part, mark the part you understand the least."

    """Yes, sir!"""

Today was the study session my classmates had arranged.

The day of the exam was approaching, and since the classes were shortened, we used the remaining time to study together.

All the members of my group were present, although they could have chosen to go home early and have some fun.

How did they all end up here... Are they free now?

I was tempted to ask them.

The time we spend together in this lively classroom is limited until the next class change.

So, I guess they want to share this atmosphere while they still can.

    "Kaburagi-san, my turn."

    "Okay. So, Hinamori asked about math. Oh yeah, you're good at social studies, right?"

    "Yup. Please help me with this math subject I hate."

    "What do you mean 'hate'? Which part don't you understand?"

Hinamori opened her math notebook as I instructed and pointed to the places marked with a highlighter.

There were a number of '?' marks in some places, and it looked like there was a lot of scribbling.

    "Do you have a notebook to practice solving the problems yourself?"

    "Yes, this one. How can you tell just by looking at it?"

    "Well... Hmmm... You should think of this quadratic inequality as the solution of this quadratic function. If you get confused when you see it in terms of variables, it's better to draw a graph to understand it visually."

    "What does that mean... Ah, please write the explanation in my notebook."

I wrote down the details in Hinamori's notebook when she asked me to.

When I had carefully written everything down and returned it to Hinamori, she looked at the notebook as if trying to understand its contents.

    "Let's see, why didn't the answers in the textbook include this explanation?"

    "Because they assume that you already know the answer. So they didn't write down the details."

    "I see...that must be the reason anyway. But now I seem to understand a little better thanks to you... Well, I'll try to solve the other problems!"

    "Yosh. Good luck."

    "If I succeed, will you praise me?"

    "Okay. I'll praise you like Mutsugoru-san."

    "Eh..." (You took your eyes off me just like that!?!? Why can't my sweet and seductive look penetrate your defenses~!!!)

Hinamori looked displeased and returned to her seat.

...Really. She never gets tired of challenging me, does she?

I leaned my back against the window and looked around the classroom.

I couldn't help but smile as I watched them earnestly moving their pens.

Kirisaki came next to me and leaned her back against the window in the same way.

I looked at her from the side and saw that she was sipping a can of café au lait and looked bored.

    "Are you able to study well, Kirisaki?"

    "Huh? I don't feel like studying today."

    "Well... then what's the point of being here?"

    "It wouldn't be complete without our group mascot, would it?"

    "If you're the mascot, why don't you show them your charm?"

    "No way, that's already Ritsu's job. You're always willing to help and take care of the others, are you that free?"

    "Well, because teaching is also good for learning. It helps me to organize information in my head and if I can't explain something when I teach, I can find out what I don't understand. So that's good for me too, right?"

    "Hee~. I guess the best students in the class always have something to say. You're not like me."

Kirisaki clapped her hands and then ruffled my hair.

When I looked at her with an annoyed expression for messing up my hair, she flatly apologized by saying, "Ah, sorry, sorry".

I looked at my phone screen, straightened my hair, and sighed.

    "No, no. Kirisaki did a good job too. So don't just stand there and help me. There's Matsui and Kawaguchi here who are prone to mischief."

    "I don't mind helping you. But won't you teach me as well?"

    "Someone with good grades like you won't need it, right? You'll be the teacher here as well, like always."

    "Unlike Ritsu, I can't act with sincerity alone."

Kirisaki turned to me and held out her hand.

    "What do you want then?"

    "Umm. Then come shopping with me next time."

    "Shopping? I don't like crowded places..."

    "Uh, what? You want to go somewhere quiet?"

    "Don't say it like that. I just don't like crowded places."

Kirisaki looked at me as if to say something and smiled.

Then she shrugged.

    "Just kidding. I'll do it myself. Like I said, I don't really want anything. Ritsu seems to have problems doing it himself, so I'll help you. And for free of course."

    "...That makes me feel like I should repay you more."

    "Huh? If it bothers Ritsu, why don't you just do it? Well, I'll take over your task of taking care of Kurumi and that black-hearted princess now."

    "You're a good negotiator..."

Really, but to be honest, I felt relieved that she offered to help me.

It's just... it's frustrating because it's like she can see through my heart.

    "Ah~ Kiri-nee will help us this time, too?"

    "Yup, yup. But don't expect me to be as good as Ritsu."

    "Ehh~ It's okay! It's a girls’ party!"

    "...You don't mean now, right?"

    "Yes, yes. We'll do it here."

    "Hey, don't just say it like that, please retract your statement~!"

Kirisaki moved to the edge of the classroom with the girls.

Some of the boys looked at me enviously, but I didn't think I could get close to them because it was as if they had set up a boundary so that no boys could enter among them.

I went to Kawaguchi and Kanbayashi to watch their progress.

And sometimes I looked at the entrance of the classroom.

I wondered if she would come.

    "Is something bothering you?"

    "Well, a little."

    "Oh, okay. By the way, Ritsu's study group is a great success. Some students from other classes have even expressed interest in joining."

    "That's an honor. Hmm, maybe I should organize a study group between classes."

    "Why don't you do that?"

    "Well, if you don't mind an amateur teacher."

I wasn't sure if I could do it, so I decided not to. Of course, I wasn't pretending.

    "Hey, stop chatting and please help me~... I'm in serious trouble."

    "Sorry, sorry. All right, let's see what the problem is."

The lively study session continued until noon and was divided into a girls' group and a boys' group.

However, Kurusu didn't come, and I didn't receive any messages from her either.

◇ ◇ ◇

    "All right, it's our last day as Class 4, so let's get excited! And congratulations on my advancement!!!"

Kawaguchi's shout started our class party.

After the closing ceremony, today was our last day in this class.

That's why we all gathered here and had a farewell party.

Since this was a lively class, I felt a little sad when I thought it was the last day of this class.

I watched my excited classmates from the edge of my seat and swallowed soda.

The pungent soda tasted good, but I felt just the opposite, a bad feeling lingered in my chest.

    "...Still no word from her. Why..."

I complained in a whisper, touching the screen of my phone.

All it showed was the time and date, and there was still no notification.

Yes, I haven't seen Kurusu since the day we practiced making bento boxes.

It's been a week since I stopped accompanying Kurusu to practice, which I used to do almost every day.

For some reason, she had been avoiding me at all costs.

The moment I thought I saw Kurusu, she would immediately disappear.

It was like chasing a small, cautious animal.

If I could get close to her, I could find out the reason for her behavior, but if I couldn't get close to her, I wouldn't be able to talk to her.

    "At least tell me why. Is it too much..."

I looked at the ceiling and sighed.

I never run after people who leave me, and I don't reject people who come to me.

If she doesn't come to me again, I'll just say, "My role was over".

I tried to convince myself of this, but...

I didn't understand. Everything felt half-assed, and I felt like something was stuck in my chest because she didn't say anything.

──Leave me alone.

Her demeanor seemed to say so. But,

    "You know, I can't."

I sighed about my annoying nature.

And I seemed to be in a depressed state to the people around me.

Then Kirisaki asked me, "What's with that gloomy face of yours?".

    "I think there are so many things I don't understand."

I replied with a sigh.

I don't know exactly why she is avoiding me, and I don't know what to do.

Even if we don't have anything to do with each other in the future, if this is indeed the 'farewell' that Kurusu said, it's good that I can say one last word to her.

I want to let her go without any regrets.

While I was thinking about it, Kirisaki next to me said "Heee" as if she had seen something unusual.

    "It turns out that there are things that even Ritsu doesn't understand, huh. That's surprising."

    "Well, that's normal, isn't it? You don't know what you don't know."

    "Really? You know, Ritsu, you're always aware of everything around you, as if you're always saying, "That's normal, isn't it?". You're usually so smart, right? Until sometimes I wonder if there's something you can't do. So this is really rare."

    "Sorry... I'm not smart enough this time."

    "Hahaha. Don't be like that. I think it's great that you feel pretty normal like me, and in that case, you look even more attractive than usual."

    "Is it usually that bad? Ah, I feel depressed..."

I sighed after being hit by her words that felt right in my head.

Kirisaki then patted my shoulder as if to encourage me.

It was the first time I'd ever heard someone try to encourage someone else in such a casual way.

    "It's not that I don't like it, but usually Ritsu seems to have a strange sense of optimism, right? You seem so perfect and flawless that I feel a distance to you."

    "Distance, huh? It's strange for me to say this, but I thought I treated everyone the same, right?"

    "Well, that's true. It's just that, in other words, it's a 2-way street, so it might make others feel uncomfortable...don't you know that?"

    "Um, yeah. Like, "You're too nice and it's a little scary". I've heard that before, so I guess I understand a little bit. But ‘too nice’ is usually a compliment, right?"

    "I guess if it was directed at me, I might think so~"

I raised my eyebrows at her words.

Being called a 'good person' is a sign of being a good person, and it means that others don't have negative feelings towards me.

And no matter how you look at it, I think it's still a good thing...

I also tilted my head, not understanding what Kirisaki was trying to say.

She smiled at me with a charming smile and placed her index finger on my chest.

    "Ritsu, aren't you really going to get stabbed sooner or later? By the one who is obsessed with you..."

    "Don't talk nonsense. I'm getting goose bumps."

    "But it's possible, isn't it? It happens in drama. Like, "If you don't become mine, I'll kill you", that kind of thing."

    "I've seen it in dramas. And I still don't understand it."

    "Well, that's just an extreme example, but that's what I mean."

Kirisaki then took the same soda drink as me and exhaled.

She put her back against the wall and turned to me.

    "It's interesting to be nice to everyone. But girls really want you to be that way only to them. They always want to be special."

    "Special...?"

    "Yeah, right. Being nice can make them feel uncomfortable. And that can lead to a fight. I think it's called 'jealousy'."

Ah, no, no. And Kirisaki waved her hand desperately.

    "Well, jealousy is definitely a bad feeling."

    "Hahaha. Where the hell did Ritsu just notice that. Yes, then Ritsu should be careful from now on, because you have a girlfriend, right? You should try to avoid problems because of jealousy."

    "Well, I totally agree with you. But that's not the case..."

Kirisaki tilted her head and looked at me suspiciously.

I know she's worried about me, but the truth is that I don't have a girlfriend, so I have to be careful what I do.

Well, I can't tell her that.

    "I think Ritsu is worried about that. I just tried to guess it myself anyway."

    "Not really. Well, the problem is also related to human relationships."

    "Oh, I see. Well, Ritsu is sensitive, but I know that you don't really understand women's feelings... So I'm sure you must be involved in this kind of problem."

    "That seems pretty accurate..."

    "Fufufu. What the heck."

Kirisaki also straightened her head and gave me a smile.

    "But be careful. Even if you have a girlfriend, it doesn't mean that you won't get into trouble. And you will also get into trouble if you have many women in your life."

    "Including you, Kirisaki?"

    "That's right. I am very dangerous, you know~"

    "You said it yourself, huh?"

    "Well, it usually takes a lot of courage to approach someone who already has a girlfriend and try to interfere in their love life, so it rarely happens. Most of the time people would definitely back out first."

    "I thought so too. So, come to think of it... a love battle is unrealistic."

    "Hahaha. That's true too. It's fun to read about in fiction. But it must be very annoying when it actually happens."

Interfering with other people's love lives...

When I heard that, I suddenly remembered Kurusu's face.

And with that, I seemed to understand why she was avoiding me.

It was true. Yes, I finally figured it out.

She was too serious...

And──she's a person who always pays attention to her surroundings, right?

    "...Alright, I'll go now."

I said, and Kirisaki looked at me while stirring her drink with a straw.

Then she smiled weakly and asked me.

    "So, have you reached the conclusion yet?"

    "Yes, I think so. Thanks to you."

    "In that case, Ritsu. Can I ask you a question?"

    "Yes?"

    "Is your current attitude really due to your good nature?"

Her question made me nervous, and for a moment, I was at a loss for words.

But I immediately answered, "Yes, as usual".

    "Really~? It's not the first time Ritsu has acted like this, but it's strange that you're so worried about her. I wonder if you have other feelings for her."

    "No, no. Not at all. I just can't ignore her like I usually do."

Yes, it is like usual.

Now that I know about it, I can't just ignore it. I won't be able to sleep well if I let it go, so I have to take care of it to ease my mind.

That was all in the beginning.

But now it's a little different. As I got to know her, I realized that I want everyone to know who the real Rurina Kurusu is.

She's honest, straightforward, and has a beautiful heart.

There's no more feeling than that... I can assure you of that.

    "So that's it... Well, still with the same Ritsu as always, huh?"

    "Yes, yes. I have an annoying nature, so this is kind of a routine for me."

    "Hahaha. You said it yourself."

She laughed and then told me to leave immediately.

I got up from my seat and took a step forward, then stopped and muttered.

    "I'll probably take her with me when we get to know each other better, is that okay?"

    "Hee, you don't need anyone's permission, do you? I'll never know if we're compatible until we talk to each other directly. And I'm not that narrow-minded to reject someone just because of rumors."

    "Alright. Thank you for everything, Kirisaki."

    "I didn't do anything, so there's no need to thank me. Go quickly. You won't see her again if you miss it today."

Kirisaki said so and pushed me.

When she touched me, I seemed to hear a voice from behind me, (I can't say bad things to others when I have a bad nature myself).

    "Kirisaki?"

    "Really, don't look at me, she'll be leaving soon."

    "Ah. Then, I'll see you again."

    "Let me tell everyone later... What a stupid good person."

I looked at her smiling face and left the restaurant.

 

◇◆My Feelings and His Sensitiveness◆◇

After the closing ceremony, I sat alone on a bench behind the school building.

I just sat there and looked at the sky from under the trees.

The color of the sky was gradually changing from light blue.

And I was stunned by the change.

Supposedly, this place was full of people after school.

Usually, this place is used for club activities, but there's no one here right now.

Sometimes I see a few people running around, but... it seems that most of the clubs are closed for the day.

If I listen carefully, all I can hear is the sound of trees swaying and leaves rustling in the wind.

It's quiet, there's no sunlight, and it's cold...

If it weren't for the activities of the club, no one would come here.

───Well... this is fine too.

I looked at the sky and mumbled to myself.

This is the last day of my freshman year.

 

If we stay away from each other like this, there shouldn't be any problems...

Kaburagi is too kind to me, so I'll cause him trouble if I let him spoil me.

So I won't bother him anymore, and I should practice what he taught me and work hard... That's right.

Otherwise, I'll feel bad for Kaburagi-kun, who's been taking his time with me all this time.

──Yes, it’s better this way.

I murmured to myself again.

I've made the right decision.

I may be an insensitive and stupid person, but I was able to realize it and act on my own initiative.

If I don't realize it and continue to use him, Kaburagi will have a conflict with his girlfriend one day.

You are reading story Shaberanai Kurusu-san Kokoro no Naka wa Suki de Ippai at novel35.com

I didn't want to see him get into trouble because of me, and I didn't want that to happen in the first place.

That's why ──── it's better this way.

I mumbled that over and over, trying to convince myself.

When I tried to change my mind, I picked up the bento box.

I sighed and looked at the bento I had made.

Ever since Kaburagi taught me how to make it, I think I've gotten pretty good at it.

I wish I could tell him, "This is how I made it", but... I won't.

──Lonely.

──Sad.

I thought I was used to being alone.

I've been blessed with so many good days lately that I can't help but want them again.

But it's selfish of me to still want them.

To be honest, I wish we could still talk. I still want to be involved with him.

If someone were to ask me what kind of relationship I have with Kaburagi, I would say that we are like master and disciple... I don't want to break that relationship.

"I won't teach Kurusu anymore. Good luck", I hope to graduate from him and hear this from him.

Even though he's the only one who can get along with me, what else can I do?

If I tell him that I don't need to practice anymore, I'm sure that the sensitive and kind Kaburagi-kun will realize that I'm really worried about him.

And he would definitely say, "Don't worry about it".

So, I had to avoid him.

If I don't see him, if I don't get involved with him again... He might think about it at first, but after a while he'll definitely give up.

Time can solve the problem.

It's actually rude to act like this without telling him. I think it's disgusting.

I know that.

So, let's apologize to him in the future.

And of course, I have to be careful not to misunderstand him...

While I was thinking about it, a cold wind blew towards me and seemed to slash my face.

The footsteps of April were close, but winter still didn't seem to be ready to pass the baton to spring.

The cold wind blew mercilessly against my skin and body, making me feel very cold, even though I usually didn't care much about it.

Immediately, my lips began to tremble and my shoulders stiffened.

I had intended to put on my jacket earlier, but in my haste, I foolishly left it in the classroom.

It's really cold...really.

So I tried to hug my shoulders.

Yes, it's so cold that I'm shivering.

This coldness, it's probably just because of the weather right now...I'm sure.

But suddenly....I stopped shivering.

    "...Isn't it a little late for lunch?"

I thought I heard a familiar voice, and then something warm and soft was placed on my head.

    "Isn't it cold to eat here? You should at least put on a jacket."

I quickly took my head out of the jacket and turned my head in the direction of the voice.

I saw Kaburagi-kun smiling at me.

What is he doing here? Didn't he go home? No, he can't still be here.

I froze in shock and confusion.

I think my face was more tense than usual, and my eyes glared at him.

Don't come here. Don't talk to me.

I'm just feeling disappointed and nervous, but Kaburagi-kun must see that I'm unhappy with his arrival.

I'm sure he'll think so──

    "I'll sit next to you."

He didn't seem to be bothered by my attitude and immediately sat down next to me without waiting for my response.

    "It's cold today too, huh?". He muttered, steam coming out of his mouth.

When I tried to put his jacket back on, he showed me some body warmers he had brought and seemed proud of them.

    "It's good to keep warm in a season like this, isn't it? Yup, the feeling of being able to overcome this kind of cold feels good. You should have one too, Kurusu. You won't be able to write well if your hands are shaking."

He put the warmer in my hand.

The warmth spread slowly and seemed to restore my sense of touch not only in my hand but also in my whole body.

His sudden appearance made me happy... But then I sighed and took out my tablet and wrote,

    【Why did you come here?】

Don't you have a party event with your friends?

You should go back...it's the last day to spend time with your classmates.

We can't let them misunderstand and ruin your relationship.

You should leave me here and go back to your friends as soon as possible.

I pushed Kaburagi-kun who was sitting next to me away.

Even though I pushed him, he straightened up and said, "It's okay. This is more important now".

His gentle smile made my heart flutter.

But, I didn't understand. There was no reason for him to stay here and sacrifice his time to be with his friends.

    "Ah, by the way, don't worry about it. Even if we're separated by a class change, we can still contact each other by phone and always communicate with each other."

    【No】

───That's not the case. You are having a party, right?

    "Party? We can do it again later."

    【Not at all】

I'll write this down on my tablet and show it to him.

Now he should cherish that moment.

If he doesn't spend time with his friends, he will regret it. Because this day will never come again.

Kaburagi looked at me and let out a long sigh.

    "Haah. Kurusu doesn't understand."

    【What?】

I froze... but what's more important than spending time with your friends?

    "Well, that's Kurusu's opinion. If we're really good friends, we'll have many other opportunities to play together. But when it comes to moments I want to cherish, now is the time. My only regret is that I won't be able to see Kurusu before spring break."

He really didn't want to go. I could feel such a strong desire in Kaburagi-kun's eyes.

But if I gave up now, it would never work.

I looked at him, pushing away the weak feelings that made me want to be spoiled by him.

    【I like being alone】

...I had no choice but to say it.

    "Why would someone who likes being alone ask me how to make friends?"

    【I’m in the mood to be alone】

That is my message.

He will respects my feelings and leaves me alone...

Actually, I really want to talk to him and spend time with him.

But I don't want to be selfish.

    "...So, you want to be alone because you're having trouble in your mind?"

    【Yes】

...He got my message.

I thought so, but Kaburagi-kun suddenly put his hand on my shoulder and looked at me worriedly.

    "So that's it. It makes it even harder for me to leave you alone. I'm not the kind of person who would abandon and neglect a damsel in distress."

I also talked about other things to keep Kaburagi-kun away.

But no matter what I said or asked, he showed no signs of leaving.

Still, I had to do something...

I thought about what to do next,

    "Kurusu. You idiot. You're really bad at lying."

Kaburagi-kun said with annoyance.

He realized everything...

His attitude tells me that and I can't say anything.

But I can't let him stay here.

I have to convince Kaburagi-kun.

If he has a girlfriend, he should stay away from me.

If not, I'll feel sorry for him...

    "...I'm the one who lied, okay?"

While I was thinking about what to say to him, Kaburagi-kun mumbled something like that.

He scratched his cheek and looked uneasy.

What? Did he just say that he lied?

Lied... what?

    "I know that Kurusu is a sensitive person... I'm sorry for making you feel bad."

He looked remorseful.

    "Actually, the girlfriend thing was a lie I told. I don't have a girlfriend, so Kurusu has nothing to feel guilty about. So please forgive me."

    【No need to apologize】

He doesn't have to apologize. But why would he lie like that?

Kaburagi-kun had no reason to lie.

He's popular, so he doesn't need to pretend to have a girlfriend to make himself look good...

    "I'm not doing it to look good, but I can avoid trouble if people know I have a girlfriend, right? I didn't want to have a romantic relationship at school, so I lied as if I already had a girlfriend."

    【Is it okay if you tell me? 】

    "I'd appreciate it if you could keep it a secret."

    【Okay, it’s a secret】

    "Okay. Thanks."

I have no one to leak it to. So I will definitely keep it, I promise.

It takes courage to tell others what you want to keep secret.

It may spread because he told someone else.

Warning someone not to tell anyone is often useless.

I thought Kaburagi-kun understood that...

But from the look on his face, it was as if he was convinced that I wouldn't tell anyone...

And there was a look of relief on his face.

    【Does anyone else know?】

    "No, they shouldn't. If more people knew, what would be the point of me lying?"

So no one else knows.

You mean you just told me... is that it?

...Huh? My face heated up a bit.

The thought that I was the only one he told made my face twitch...why?

    "Well, that's it, Kurusu. That's why you don't have to worry about it."

    【I understand. I apologize too】

    "Yes, that's fine. Then the misunderstanding has been cleared up, right? Let's practice together again like before. Until you're satisfied."

...I'm happy.

I can talk to Kaburagi-kun again.

But... spring break starts tomorrow, so I won't see him again until the next school day, right?

Well, that's the way it is. That's too bad.

While I was secretly feeling sad, Kaburagi-kun suggested that I meet him at school tomorrow. I suddenly looked at his face after hearing this unexpected suggestion.

    【Are you sure?】

    “Of course. We haven’t talked for the past few days, so I want to make up for it.”

    【Thank you. One day is enough】

That's what I'm going to write.

I didn't want to burden or bother him, so I was satisfied with just one day. I know you have other things to do with your friends, so I shouldn't be the only one.

Then Kaburagi-san made a mysterious face and sighed.

    "Huh, you know. Don't be shy for now. The reason I'm here and the reason I'm teaching Kurusu are all my own decisions. So don't hold back because you're worried about others. It's okay to be selfish once in a while."

He smiled and looked at me softly.

His eyes were clear, as if he could see through my thoughts.

    "So, what do you really want, Kurusu?" he asked me in a soft tone, as if he agreed with my heart.

    【I’ll bother you】

    "I don't mind. I'm used to it."

    【Kaburagi-kun's reputation will be ruined】

    "That's something only people who don't like me say, so I don't really care."

    【I care】

    "Ah~! You think too much!"

He made me stop writing when I was in the mood to continue.

Then he put his hand on my head and ruffled my hair.

...My hair, it got tangled, you know.

I looked at him as if to complain.

    "You know, Kurusu. What if you really want to change, but you don't want to take the final step? Didn't I tell you before? You have to admit who you are and like yourself. Why try to get close to others if you're trying to get away from yourself?"

What he said squeezed my heart.

My grip on the tablet tightened.

Without waiting for my reaction, Kaburagi-kun continued,

    "So, start taking steps. Take your first step. Don't be shy and don't worry too much about others. Not everyone is narrow-minded enough to think badly of Kurusu right away."

Why?

Why... can you be so kind, Kaburagi-kun?

    "Well... in the end, it's just for my own satisfaction. I do it because I want peace and quiet around me."

He cares too much about me if he says it's just for his own satisfaction...

He is too kind...

And it all only benefits me.

I've never seen such kindness in my life...and it makes me uneasy.

Is that why? I'm nervous because I'm afraid.

My body feels hot. And my heart was pounding more and more.

    "I know it's going to be hard for you to digest what I'm going to say. But you can think of it this way. For example, there's a story called Crane's Return of a Favor. So the good deeds we do come back to us. So that's the principle of my actions. But I don't know, does it make sense?" [TN: It's a traditional Japanese story about a crane trying to repay a man who helped it]

    【Calculating profit and loss?】

    "Yes, right. That's what I meant. So don't worry about it. The kindness I did wasn't that pure and sincere, there was something beneficial to me that made me do it."

These comforting words came out of his mouth.

I am indeed not as sensitive as Kaburagi-kun.

I'm not sensitive, and I'm not good at understanding other people's feelings.

But even I could understand that Kaburagi-kun meant what he said about his kindness.

It would be very dishonest of me not to respond to his words.

    "Well, if Kurusu feels that you can't be spoiled forever, then let's limit it to at least one full year. In other words, we'll train until the end of March, and then you'll do everything yourself. What do you think? Why don't you give me your opinion?"

So he was making a temporary offer.

That seemed to be the proposal he was making to my stubborn self.

That's fine. What I really want...

I am a selfish and messy person...and I just want to have fun with my friends.

I want to have a relaxing and fun time...I want to make friends like that.

I looked at Kaburagi's face.

He was still smiling and waiting for my answer.

I finally had the courage to write down my true wish.

    【Please. I want to be with you】

This is how I feel right now.

My goal may be far away. But with Kaburagi-kun, it might come true.

That's what I thought when I wrote it.

    "Ah. Of course you can."

He replied without hesitation, smiling at me.

His cheerful expression seemed to light up my depressed heart and encourage me.

He really is...a wonderful person. Like a prince out of a fairy tale.

I could understand what the people around me were saying.

──I am so happy.

I held my chest, which was still pounding, and tried to hold it in.

My body felt warm and my face was hot.

But the heat doesn't bother me.

It's a warmth that makes me feel like I'm in spring.

I don't mind, but...why do I feel embarrassed?

As if sensing the change in my heart, a light entered and illuminated this dark and cold road that was originally blocked by trees.

It seemed to indicate a new path that I should take from now on.

    "Then, let's go. It'll be dark soon."

I nodded, then he stood up and gave me his hand.

I was too shy to take his hand.

I think it shows friendship, because many other girls also hold hands with their friends, like this...maybe.

But if I hold his hand now, I feel like my heart will explode.

Because right now my heart is beating so hard that I think it will.

I'm confused by this strange thing happening inside my body, it's something I've never felt before. And I can't help thinking that it would be rude to refuse his hand.

──What is wrong with me?

I also asked myself, but I didn't get an answer.

On the contrary, the strange feeling in my body is getting worse.

I have to be brave, don't I?

I gathered my courage and instead of taking his hand, I grabbed the hem of his shirt.

Then I wrote, 【Please, be gentle with me】 on my tablet.

I'll be happy if he teaches me gently...

Kaburagi-kun also looked at the screen of my tablet,

    "...If it's not me, people will misunderstand you, stupid."

He muttered, his cheeks turning slightly red.

When he saw my eyes fixed on him, he cleared his throat and looked at the sky.

    "Kurusu, I need to tell you something."

I looked at him with a question mark on my face.

He scratched his cheek as if he was embarrassed for some reason.

    "From now on, when you write on your tablet, you should use words that can't be misunderstood, okay?"

I tilted my head, not understanding what he meant with that wry smile on his face.

...Is something wrong?

Well... I don't know.

For now, I'm just happy to be able to talk to him again.

...Cheer up, myself...ei-o-ei-o.

I tried my best not to let him know how I felt.

 

 

 

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