Chapter 2: 1.1

Chapter 1 – The Heart of The Girl That Doesn’t Speak is Nothing But Cute (Part 1)

At the beginning of February, after the regular exams were over.

I was taken to the infirmary because I was suffering from a headache caused by studying too hard for the exam. The window of the room was open for ventilation and a cool breeze came in, reminding me of the chill of the winter season.

    "Just rest. You don't seem to have slept at all."

The school nurse, Saya-sensei (Sayaka Mochizuki), said it with a feeling of concern, pressing her forehead against mine and rolling me onto the bed.

She shrugged and sighed, and I could see a hint of worry in her eyes.

    "Hahaha... Saya-sensei. Even if you say so, I have a lot of studying to do before the exam. It's not going to be easy for me to get good grades without putting in so much effort."

    "Huft. We as teachers say that a student's main duty is to study, but haven't we always taught you not to push yourself too hard?"

    "No, no, I'm so strong, I haven't even fainted yet. I'm just a bit dizzy from the anaemia.

    "Even if it's just a little dizzy and anaemic. It's not unusual in this world for people to die of exhaustion..."

    "Your words have a different power of persuasion."

    "Shut up. You should worry about your own body."

    "Don't worry, I'm fine now. Look at my muscles."

    "......." (Maybe it's about time. It seems that making him faint can make him sleep well too)

I winced at her angry, sharp gaze and her kinda-dangerous 'inner voice'.

As I tried to dodge her gaze, she grabbed my head and twisted it violently.

    "That hurts!"

    "Look here, Kaburagi. Open your filthy mouth and show me."

    "I wasn't expecting this kind of play──."

    "The answer can only be 'yes' or 'yes’. Do you understand?"

    "Good choice of answer...huh. So I have no right to veto your choice!?"

I had no choice but to open my mouth when Sensei urged me to do so.

Sensei, who had taken out a torch, shone it into my mouth and examined it carefully.

    "It's still a bit red. Seems a bit hoarse too...hmmm. Risk of sleep deprivation, weakened immune system... well, I think it's just one step away from the flu."

    "Then I'm fine, right..."

    "I wanted to ask, are you feeling nauseous or have you got a sore throat?"

Her sharp gaze was fixed on me.

Oh no. This was a sign that she wasn't going to let me go unless I told her the truth.

I really had no choice. I sighed and gave up, then decided to speak.

    "Well... it seems I really do have a headache. Yeah, it's probably because of a cold..."

    "Cold, huh..."

Although she was not convinced, she seemed to have accepted the fact that it was true, then her eyebrows furrowed and her face became grim.

This is something only my family knows──── My head has been picking up the inner voices of others since I was a child.

 

Even when they ask me 'why', I don't know the reason because it's been happening since the beginning.

Like breathing, like a baby trying to walk on its own two feet, it was a natural part of my growth.

But 'hearing the inner voice' was not an easy way for me to pick up on what was happening around me.

It was only heard when there was space for someone to think in their heart, such as when there was a silence or a pause in the conversation they were having. So sometimes I was under the illusion that a normal conversation was going on when it happened.

In the public transport, especially on the train, it's hell for me because people don't talk much, but their inner voices can be heard everywhere.

Especially on Mondays, the negative thoughts of office workers are very strong.

Well, I'd even hear things I didn't want to hear... so it's not entirely a good thing to have this ability.

It is natural for every human being to separate what is real from what is not.

Speaking openly or verbally can cause problems, so they keep those things to themselves. So their inner voices usually sound very bad.

For example, they may say verbally, "I will continue to love you", but inside they are thinking, "Well, at least for now"... Of course, if you hear such a voice all day long, you'll probably start to distrust the other person and think, "I won't get in touch with them anymore".

But since I've gotten used to this lifestyle, I don't see it as an inconvenience or a sad thing.

Knowing other people's feelings means I can get along better and more easily. I can judge what I don't like and what I want to tell the other person. And conversely, I can read what they want to tell me straight away, so it's easy for me to fulfill their wishes.

Sometimes I get headaches from listening to these voices too much, but thanks to my special ability I have a strong position in my class and I'm generally happy with my current life as a student at school.

Well, although I still have to work hard to make up for it.

I opened my textbook and Sensei's brow furrowed beside me.

But before I could hear her words, the book was taken from me.

    "Don't study, please... I never thought there would be a time when I could say that to a student.

Sensei sighed and looked at me.

    "Only in this case, Kaburagi. And are you sure you won't take your cold medicine? If your headache is bad, it's a must, right?"

    "What are you talking about? Illness starts in the mind, Sensei. I let my immune system take care of itself."

    "Haaa..."

She had black lines on her forehead and rudely brought a cup and placed it in front of me along with the medicine. I drank it as well, feeling disturbed by her expression.

    "Remember what I said before...?"

    "Umm...you mean, 'Leave this to me and move on!', right?"

    "No."

    "Or when you said 'Don't stop...' and fell..."

    "I guess we can let that pass, huh~?"

    "Ahh, now I remember. ‘Focus on finding a soul mate!’, right? It's true, you must have gotten past the age when you're supposed to marry."

    "You brat, I'm going to kill you."

    "────I was just joking."

I curled up on the bed and knelt down.

 

Her eyes were serious. It looked like murderous intent.

While I was still thinking about it, Sensei raised her hand and rolled me onto the bed.

She pulled the covers over me, sat on the edge of the bed and said.

    "I will wake you up later, so you should sleep until then. Don't go home without my permission, OK?"

    "Ahh... yes, please."

    "What a troublesome man."

She got an ice pack from the fridge and then put a cold compress on my forehead.

    "As I said, 'patience is wisdom', isn't it? If you carry on like this, you'll collapse one day."

    "I'll try not to let it come to that. It's really hard for an ordinary person like me to keep getting good grades."

    "Well, I appreciate your efforts."

Sensei grimaced and looked at me, showing the beautiful shape of her eyes.

Then she raised her hands and straightened her body.

    "As I've always said, you should learn to depend on others. The friends you make now could be the ones who help you when you grow up, and you can rest more if you have friends and family to support you..."

    "Is there something wrong with that?"

    "Kaburagi. Seriously, what's happened to you lately? Have you found a girlfriend yet?"

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    "Well... Let's just say I have."

    "So you're still pretending?"

    "Yes, you could say that."

    "I know you want to avoid trouble, but that won't get you anywhere in the future, will it?"

    "No problem."

When I said this, Sensei let out a long sigh and gave me a worried look.

The main reason for the break-up of human relationships is the feeling of "love" that arises in a group. At any age, love relationships only create problems.

That's why when people asked me, "Do you have a girlfriend?", I answered, "Yes, I do".

I told them as soon as I started school and thanks to this I was able to avoid unnecessary problems and I didn't experience any events that would ruin my relationships with other students.

The only problem I remember was when one of my classmates challenged me to a competition with his imaginary girlfriend.

    "So... you have friends?"

    "Don't assume that I don't."

    "You're in high school and you haven't..."

    "No, no! I have people to talk to! You see, we always do our activities in a close group. And let's just say I already have a girlfriend."

    "Oh... well, that's true. You are indeed a vainly popular person, you know that? Yes, vain."

    "You... aren't you completely wrong about that? I'm well-liked and respected, and I'm good at solving problems."

    "Don't praise yourself. You collapsed like this because you worked too hard."

She let out a long sigh and looked at me worriedly.

I felt uncomfortable and turned my head away.

    "Oh yes. I have a question for you, Kaburagi, as a person who has many friends and acquaintances."

    "Okay, what is it..."

    "How do high school students make friends these days?"

    "Ugh, are you... planning to go out with a student?"

    "Are you stupid? I need to know. It's part of my job to take care of my students."

    "Oh... I see."

She flatly rejected my joke and put on a serious expression.

The fact that she thought, 'I want to give her some useful advice', indicated that a student had come to her who was having difficulties in terms of friendship. And since she felt it was her responsibility as a teacher, she really wanted to help her.

    "Oh yes. Nowadays, social networking is the main way to make friends, even before we go to school".

    "Huh? When you say social networking, do you mean like Mixx or Myxxxxx accounts?" [TN: I actually spent hours researching this, looking up local Japanese social networks, and it looks like the social networks in question are Mixi and Myspace. Really old social media, no wonder I had trouble finding out what they were. And our MC would say the same]

    "What era are you from? Your knowledge gives away your age, you know."

    "S-Shut up! I don't know. I've never used one of those before."

    "You should stop using your old mobile phone and buy a smartphone as soon as possible. Otherwise, you'll be left behind and they'll call you an old woman─"

    "Do you want to try dying?" (I'll kill you)

    "Hahaha... Please don't do that."

The words and the inside of her mind... were completely identical.

    "Hmm. It's okay. Even a keypad like the one on this phone has its good points. I think it's really innovative and in line with what I want, although eventually everything will develop in its own way. I'm sure we won't see anything like this again in the future. Yeah, that's right.”

    "I think this is where the term 'boomer generation' was invented, when they became rigid in their own thinking and refused to accept other people's ideas."

    "Even Buddha would lose his temper if insulted three times, Kaburagi."

    "Yosssh."

I made a voice like a member of a sports club, then showed her the screen of my smartphone to distract her.

    "The most commonly used social media now is Instagram or Twitter. Almost all students use them now. Or rather, if they don't use it, they are bound to miss a lot of topics and be out of date."

    "Is that really so?"

    "Yes, of course. By using it, some students are already playing together before they even meet at the first enrolment ceremony. Or they can build a community in advance with people who have the same interests. That is a fundamental thing."

    "I-I understand."

    "The rest is just being proactive and taking steps to talk to people. Some people, especially in the beginning, will just wait and watch, so they won't move as much as you think. It's like a mountain that doesn't want to move. That's why first contact is so important.”

    "Huum..huum.."

    "On the other hand, women are much quicker. No, I think they are very agile. The group will form quickly, but unfortunately it will fall apart later. Those who adapt well will quickly find their place. At this time, the social caste will be born".

Sensei made a serious note and read the contents.

She pressed her forehead to the paper and seemed overwhelmed by all these explanations.

    "It's very difficult to live nowadays..."

    "Well, with easier access to smartphones and the internet, it's inevitable that we have more things to worry about. It's hard to live in a world where we have to adapt to all kinds of changes".

    "Aahhh. You're as mature as ever!"

    "Please don't praise me like that. You're embarrassing me."

    "I am simply astonished, you little brat."

She slapped my chest with a smile on her lips.

    "I think it's very difficult for a transfer student to become part of an established community. It's even harder when she has a unique personality..."

    "...I totally understand."

Saya-sensei's shoulders slumped in disappointment and she sighed.

She closed her notebook and scratched her head. She seemed to be frustrated by her lack of knowledge about all this.

Silence fell and the atmosphere became a bit awkward.

While I was wondering what to do, I heard the rhythmic knocking on the door of the infirmary and clearly heard a question, "...May I come in?".

I had never heard this voice before, but I couldn't ignore it...

Sensei then replied, "Wait a moment". Then she turned to me and gently pulled the blanket over my body.

    "Thank you very much."

    "Don't worry. I'm used to this."

    "Hahaha."

    "Is this supposed to be funny? I'm going to say it again just to be sure, but don't try to escape, okay? Just wait till I get back. Okay, promise me."

    "Okay, I won't."

    "That's the usual line a guy says before he really won't. I know that."

Sensei sighed, closed the curtain, and left.

Then I heard the door of the infirmary open, and the soft, friendly voice I had heard earlier reached my ears, "I'm going in".

    (Yup, I'll have to work a little harder for everything she asked to me!)

I heard Sensei's inner voice trying to perk up, and I let out a long sigh as if trying to release my accumulated fatigue.

It seemed that Sensei's mind was preoccupied with the student who had just arrived.

    "Well...that's enough."

I covered my ears and prepared to fall asleep.

I was worried about the people who might come, but I was already too tired to move my body.

However...

    "...I'll sleep better thanks to that soft voice."

I found myself saying this verbally.

    “Ahh... Someone is sleeping over there. So we should be quieter.", when I heard that, my consciousness disappeared.

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